friendship

Date Night…or Weekend…

March 31, 2017 6 Comments

Welcome to our date night. We’re talking about spending time together, my first time in the South, health care, and voice fry. I can’t say we’ve ever invited this many people on one of our dates before!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

I loved our trip to Atlanta!

Present (affiliate link)

Vocal Fry with Faith Salie

The 100 Year Lifestyle

Samaritan Ministries

(Help us out by letting them know that Tom and Keri Mae Lamar referred you!)

HHP 043 Samaritan Ministries Interview (w/ Jamie Pyles)

Listener-turned-pen pal-turned-friends! Meeting for the first time!

Faith Community Church
Pastor Shane Koehler preaching on Spiritual Self-awareness (Romans 12:3-8)

Podcast episodes we chatted about:

Downsizing our Home – Upsizing our Family

Kelly’s Tornado

Ruby’s Story

Poppy’s Story

Blessings,

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Babies, Quilts, Paint and More

July 18, 2012 4 Comments

I’m still here. Sort of. But I still don’t think I have much to say anymore.

One thing I’ve done is remove my computer to my craft room, and because of that it’s been real easy not to even check my emails. I’m finding I like not checking emails. I’ve also turned off my cell phone. I’m finding I like not hearing it ding or demand my attention in any way. The funny thing has not been my cutting back, because truthfully I’ve come not-so-willingly into the computer age; I find I can take or leave it. And I’d rather leave it.

Rather, it’s been interesting how much others demand to have my attention when they want my attention. Sometimes even my kids will call me within the 20 minutes it takes to run to town for snail mail just to ask something so minor I think, “How are they going to figure life out if they have to call me just to ask if it’s ok if Ruby’s socks don’t match for the day?” The question that begs is, do I want to be immediately accessible to everyone? I guess my answer is no. Guess I’m a hermit in training.

Despite our differences in theology (for starters), one thing I admired about Tasha Tudor is that she chose to live her life as she wished. She picked her own lifestyle and didn’t seemed to be swayed whatsoever by the world around her. I want that kind of strength.

I’ve been enjoying spending play time with Ruby, just entering her own little world on her own little terms. I’m glad one of my kids ran for the camera to snap this shot of us having “tea”. Ruby is still non-verbal, but she speaks in other ways. We still communicate.

My friends hosted a baby shower for myself and another mama, which was just lovely. It’s so nice that with even being baby number seven, my daughter is welcomed and loved with open arms and hearts.

I’m working on binding a very large quilt for our queen sized bed. It’s a yummy collection of colors with a strawberry pattern quilted over the top. I had enough scraps to throw this little table runner together, so you can get a teeny flavor of it. I’ll share the quilt with you when I’m finished. It will be on a brand new bed I’m putting together with finds from the Goodwill and a large yard sale (aren’t you curious yet?).

This was one of my most favorite recent days. I made a lemon rhubarb bundt cake and shared it with my book club friends over a tablecloth with china and real silver forks. Oh and real plastic cups (haha) for the lemonade. I also brought my art journal in which I am trying this and that (pencil, watercolors, pen, collage….) to see what mediums I like best working with. Anyhow, it made me very happy to love on my friends that day by the beach while our children played.

I bought some Annie Sloan chalk paint and nothing in my house has been safe from my paintbrush! I’m painting bed rails, tables, chairs, shelves, a desk, even a large birdcage. I love this paint! It adheres to everything (no priming or prepping) and the best part is that it is easily distressed. I am terrible at painting, but this was easy even for me to manage (and that is saying a LOT). Whenever I came upon a gloppy bit of paint (unintended of course), I just took my little scrap of sandpaper and LaLa Dis-Tressed away! I love that the vintage-distressed who-in-the-world-painted-that look is IN! Instead of brushing on a wax finish (that would entail me using, well…a brush), I just sprayed a thin polyurethane coat on top to seal. So far, so good. And yes, I’ll share those projects too.

Oh, and it’s our 20th anniversary! On the left is a photo of us about a year before we were married, and on the right is how we are now. I don’t even recognize the kids on the left! I sure do miss that hair, though!

That’s all the update for now. I’m very much enjoying my time at home with my babies, and am thankful for all of the cutting out and back regarding my technological toys. I’m going back to school (online) again soon, too, because I love to keep on learning. I’ll be working on a Clinical Master Herbalist degree. The blessing is that I got reimbursed for some tuition from my Holistic Nutrition degrees (two of those), and the rest of the tuition I need will be paid for by scholarship. I’m pretty amazed I get to do that and I’m happy about it too. There’s no shortage of things I want to learn and do.

Blessings to you and yours!

10 Ways To Be Hospitable Without Going Nuts

April 17, 2012 5 Comments

1. Remember that people are more important than things. Having plastic on the furniture or carpets that cannot be walked on without first dubbing fresh socks speaks loudly that the house is not to be used to relax in, but to admire. If your family members can put their bare feet up on the coffee table or just grab a glass (any glass) to get some drinking water with, it won’t be a big effort for your guests to do the same. Does your home welcome people or make them unsure of where they can and cannot sit?

2. Keep the house tidy as usual (whatever your state of “usual” is) but don’t wait for everything to be bleach-clean before opening your home to guests. Furthermore, if someone stops by when there’s still a pile of laundry to fold, welcome them anyway and either fold while you talk or put it off for a while. There’s no need to apologize; this is your home and yes, there is work to be done in it. You don’t necessarily need to stop your work when people come over; they can visit while you tend the everyday needs or toss the salad.

Pizza is an easy meal to prepare and serve. This is sourdough crust topped with sausage, spinach, mushrooms and cheese.

3. Do have food and drink on hand, especially for those surprise, last minute guests. There is always *something* you could offer. For ideas, be sure to listen to my podcast, Fast Food: How to Feed People on the Quick. I have a designated tea drawer that my friends know they can just come dig into when they come in. You could have something similar for kid-friendly snacks, or at the very least, a lemon or some mint in the fridge to add to a fresh pitcher of water. Also have on hand a decent first aid kit for those inevitable boo-boos. You don’t want to offer a toilet paper wrap when a bandaid would be better.

4. Have a bin of toys for toddlers in various places so that when you have a mommy over, she can keep a close eye on her babe easily. For example, I have a shelf of toys in the kitchen, and a couple in the living room. It’s also easy for me to pull out a small bin of magnets or whatnot for an older child to play with at the kitchen table. For more ideas on toy organization, listen to Toys and Their Organization. This really helps with (a) mommies who are new to your house and don’t want to lose their child into unfamiliar places, and (b) helping you to quietly encourage and keep children close to their moms when you feel they are a little too wily to be beyond mom’s reach.

Have a place where people can easily hang coats (and hats!).

5. Just because you have folks over doesn’t mean you can’t “help” them leave when the time is right. Sometimes my kids will be getting really tired and *done* with visitors, and I’ll politely excuse myself or our family by saying something like, “….well…I’m so glad you took time to come over!” Or, if the visitor isn’t getting the hint, something like, “Well, I’d love to visit with you longer, but I really need to let you go so I can (bathe the kids….get to bed at a reasonable time….prepare for supper…).”

6. Do consider giving your guest your attention. That doesn’t mean your work has to necessarily stop (see #2), but it does mean leaving the phone to the answering machine and especially NOT checking your Facebook updates, tweets and emails! If you must take a call that you’re expecting, be sure to let your caller know that you are currently with a guest and will call them back. Give the person who is in front of your face priority.

You could always use paper goods, but real dishware is a real nice touch.

7. It’s all right to say “no”. Being “hospitable” does not mean you need to have an open door policy to anyone who wants to drop in at any time they want to or need to drop in. That being said, being hospitable does mean being available for emergencies and having some flexibility. Some folks are just plain needy and will take up all of your time if you let them; others would never drop by unannounced unless it was urgent. Use some wisdom to know when to bend, and when to stand firm and graciously say, “I’m sorry, I cannot give time to that today.”

8. If you’re having someone over for the first time and there’s a meal involved, it is all right (and appropriate) to inquire regarding allergies and so forth. But that does not mean you need to overhaul your own cooking to meet the needs of picky people (who always need their non-fat, only organic, homemade salad dressing on the side…or won’t eat anything made with salt….or must have a cocktail with their meal…or who have children who will only eat hot dogs, etc.). It is one thing to bend your meals to accommodate, it is quite another to receive the menu you “must” create. Personally, I never make separate meals for picky children (note: picky, not allergic)…but if their parent wants to bring or provide them a peanut butter sandwich instead of having my lasagna, I’m not offended. It’s their deal and they’ll figure that mess out at some point (we hope!). In that same vein, don’t stress if your overnight guests demand amenities you can’t or don’t want to provide. You are not a hotel, and they can (a) appreciate what you do offer, or (b) graciously stay someplace else. It’s amazing what people will sometimes expect (or demand) from you to meet or gain their approval! Just do the best you can in meeting their needs in love, and let them simmer in their own sauce over areas that are over the line for you or your family.

What can you do to make your guests feel right at home?

9. Try to keep at least one bathroom tidy at all times with a clean sink, fresh hand towel and plenty of toilet paper. Get the hair up off the floor every day and the toothpaste gunk off the sink. That way when your unexpected (or expected!) guest needs to freshen up, it will be a pleasant experience. And on the days no guest is using the loo, you will be blessed in at least one bathroom! It’s nice to have the plunger nearby too, to save face if a child clogs the toilet; the parent can just quietly deal with it. And speaking of such, remember that children sometimes have accidents; don’t make an issue of it! Just sweetly provide clean-up materials and don’t stress over your carpet, hardwood floor, etc. Remember….people are more important than stuff, and that includes kids!

10. Bless your guests. If they are sad, give them some understanding and some cheer. If they are down, offer some encouragement. If they are happy about something, try to join them in their joy. You can pray with them, or at least for them, while they are there. If there are children involved, I try to never send them away hungry. Think about how YOU would be blessed in their shoes, and do likewise. Let them leave your home refreshed and blessed!

Hospitality isn’t about having the perfectly set up home ahead of time. Hospitality is about serving people with love, and being open (and home!) to welcome them in their needs. May your guests be blessed by your hospitality, and may you have peace in receiving them. Certainly you can’t please everyone, but you can have quietness and satisfaction in the Lord knowing you followed His lead in how you dealt with folks.

For more ideas on hospitality (without going nuts!), visit the other High Five Moms in the next few days. Tell them I sent you; I know their little spaces in Blogland are awaiting to bless and encourage you, too.

A Day in My Life, Part 2

February 5, 2012 Leave a Comment

If you missed it, you can read Part 1 here.

Midday

I join my 5 and 7 year olds to help them with folding the small mountain of kitchen linens threatening to overtake our sofa. We use mostly cloth napkins and dish towels rather than paper products, in reds, yellows, greens, and oranges. Bright colors for all of the wee people here I suppose.

Once the drawers are full of linens, I begin doing some teaching with my 7 year old, and we are still working on proper pencil holding. I regret not starting her with cursive first, and am thankful she wasn’t further along in ball-n-stick than she was. Her handwriting is becoming more and more fluid, and the death grip on her pencil is beginning to, finally, relax. I think those loopy-loo’s that always come so easily to my toddlers should have been an obvious hint to which style of handwriting they are better able to utilize, but I was too smitten with “how the schools do it” rather than really watching and listening to my own children.

I send the boys outside to go pump their legs with cross-country bike riding (it’s all gravel and meadow and plenty of dirt), and to bring in any more eggs they can find in their coat pockets. I also ask for the starter trays from the greenhouse because I’m moving much slower and figured I could plant seeds a bit at a time on my back porch instead. But, really, I just needed them to go burn off some energy.

After unloading a few blue and brown eggs, my 5 year old boy clambers red-faced to the kitchen table. And while he and my daughter are working and chittering with each other, I sit catching up on some reading, picking at curriculum, a magazine, a recipe. The older kids are either picking at schoolwork or preparing for art lessons, and Ruby is banging away at the play kitchen. When my little students finish up their math and spelling, I read to them from the Jesus Storybook Bible and the Christian Nature Reader and send them on their way to play. Ruby runs after them in glee.

Our “maybe we can come” friends show up, and my 14 year old starts an art lesson with the youngest of the children, a collage of a butterfly’s life from egg to flutter. We’ve been using Atelier for years, and the results are always pleasant. My smiling friend helps herself to a mug and picks a bag out of the tea drawer, mi case es her casa. We chat, and unapologetically eat seriously delicious cinnamon rolls with our hot drinks. And yes, we share those with the children, all twelve of them. But the bowl of leftover frosting we keep for our own spoons.

The other children in time do art lessons as well, and it is interspersed with either outside play in the sunshine, or music lessons from the teacher that arrives during this time. The whole house and yard is full of happy eating, painting, music making, outdoor mud splashing, and toddlers vrooming their cars and dolly strollers all over the wide planked wood floors. Of course there are cries of hurts, bumps to kiss and peepee accidents to deal with, too. Here is my 9 year old’s painting, one of her most “happy days”: when she and I flew to California together for a quick family visit.

The sunshine is still beckoning me outside, so my friend and I go for a walk down the long woodsy dirt road. A half hour later, we return to visit my dairy goats, and I peer into my garden. The shallots are starting to come up already. I’ve never grown shallots before.

My goat girls are so sweet, they love to snuggle. Here are Smores and Dancer. I had to keep them at arm’s length to get this photo during our snow. While my friend and I are in the musty barn, we talk about livestock of all kinds, fencing, dreams. It is comfortable and warm in the stall, and the boys next door bleat for lovings too. I glove up to pat my buck and also stroke my wether’s growing beard, telling them both yes, they are *so* handsome.

Inside, the large stockpot of chicken soup is hot and as my friend and I correct the seasonings and cut bread slices, the children clean up art supplies and make room for eating. The clanking of spoons and white porcelain bowls upon the table add to the scuffling of chairs, and all at once, silence. We all give thanks, and eat. The broth is completely satisfying, bits of chicken and rice deliciously warm and good for the soul, too. It is 2:00 in the afternoon.

Blessings,

Gifts for Friends

December 27, 2011 3 Comments

I couldn’t add these to my post on handmade gifts for obvious reasons 🙂 But I thought now that these have been happily given, I could share what I made.

For some of my friends, I made little journal covers for their notebooks, to write lists in, or draw, or…well…journal. I love the little bird I stitched onto the linen; isn’t he cute?

Other friends got either tea mixes (chai) or mocha mixes, depending on what they like in their mugs, in a homemade embroidered gift bag.

Almond-lemon biscotti was included for all, and there you have it! I had so much fun thinking of my friends while stitching, smiling at how good the Lord is for gifting me these friendships. I wish I could remember where I got these patterns from; they were given for free on other blogs. If you are a blogger that shares these sorts of tutorials, MwAH!

Treat Yourself Nicely

October 9, 2011 Leave a Comment

A couple of friends and I went clothes shopping yesterday and we had twelve full hours of having a good time with one another (do our husbands rock, or what?!). I have very rarely gone clothes shopping because I always had something (or someone) else on which to spend what little money I had, and truthfully I figured that between the barn animals and the baby spit-up, whatever I wore was going to get ruined anyway. And I hated shopping because I never really knew what looked good on me; it was a drag.

And then, one of my friends became a fashionista. And after watching her journey, I decided that, “Hey! I want to look that great too!” Maybe it’s because I turned 40 last year. Maybe it’s because we threw our house on the market, and then took it off. Maybe it’s because we had a miscarriage. Maybe it’s because I started running, completed a 5K, lost a bunch of inches and gained muscle. I dunno. But when I painted my closet I decided that nothing was going back that didn’t fit or look good on me. Having only half a dozen things left hanging in the closet was pretty sobering…was I just not thinking of ME at all?!

So I got my hair cut short and kissed the grey see-ya-later. And I bought a few shirts. Real shirts. With buttons, not t-shirts. And my mom bought me the most amazing jeans I’ve ever had. It was a lean-closet spring and summer but I sure enjoyed having a few new things.

Now that I’m popping out (that happens about immediately after having a few babies, y’know?), I’m needing maternity things. I almost have confidence that this baby will come around: my husband is rubbing my belly and the children are betting on blue versus pink and picking out names. I decided that no, I wasn’t going to use my old bin of maternity-ware, and I would just slowly pick up a few pieces as I could.

So, yesterday, my friends and I did just that and we had a blast! I bought some denim and shirts and a dress to wear for business functions with my husband. I couldn’t believe the big bag I took home was stuff for ME! I’m learning how to take better care of myself, and I’m thankful for friends who love me and encourage me to do just that. And can I just say….I’m thankful that I went back before the store closed and bought those cherry red Mary Jane pumps, too! (My mom would be so proud of me! She’s been wanting me to do this for years).

Is it difficult for you to treat yourself nicely, too? It’s amazing how just one new thing feels so nice. Your smile is what makes you beautiful, but a new pair of socks or a new sweater or a pair of earrings….that can feel just lovely too. If I could, I would buy you a mocha and make you try on stuff for hours on end, too.

Be blessed,

On Walking on Sidewalks With Friends

August 30, 2011 2 Comments

I walked along the sidewalk with my best friend Kelli, her short wavy strawberry hair and short plump stature contrasting with my straight dark brown hair and skinny tall nine year old self.

“Stoppit….stoppit….”
“What?” I answered.
“When you walk, you walk crooked and you’re pushing me off the sidewalk!”

And that’s how it’s always been for me: finding one or two close friends at a time amongst the pleasantries of dozens of acquaintances, and walking close enough to them to lean into them when I’m talking and walking through life.

Interesting, this:
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

I wonder about the sharp countenance, and do I really need a friend to salt the look of the lines on my face? Besides, if iron strikes iron, doesn’t that make things hot and fiery? Maybe those fiery ones aren’t friends at all; they cause sparks, they leave bitter fruit, dry as gravel. They’re the ones that doubt your intentions, phshaw your efforts, and smile with their lips but not with their eyes. You never feel quite encouraged in their presence. Maybe you even feel defensive.

A good friend, though, is one that sharpens your resolve, your dreams, your faith. They use their sparks to push you to a greater more lively you. They whisper like the grass angels, cheering you on, “grow, grow” *, and they know when to apply the fertilizer of truth and rebuke with compassion and care. They hear your dreams and will find at least one good thing to say and leave you with. Much like the motorcyclists that greet one another while zipping by in opposite directions, they’re the ones that will still give you a high five as you travel your own highways, even if your bumper stickers differ. Even if you sometimes knock them off the sidewalk. It’s the kind of friend I long to be.

With that in mind, let me introduce you to four other ladies who desire to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ and want to encourage you, too. Consider them new friends of this blog. As you visit them you’ll notice we have similarities and differences….but we all endeavor to cheer our sisters on in the race worth running. I am humbled to be part of this group. Every week we’re going to share our take on a topic, and we hope it will be a welcome cheer for the race you’re running.

I for one am already blessed, for my walk on the sidewalks of life continue to alternate between focused determination and daydreamy side-stepping off the curbs. My friends know it. And they still walk with me by my side knowing the risks. I am blessed.

* “Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, ‘Grow, grow.” The Talmud

You can read more thoughts on Proverbs 27:17 this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Blessings,

Road Trip!

June 30, 2011 6 Comments

My husband blessed me with a short road trip vacation with a friend of mine. We hopped into my little car with our bags and her spinning wheel, and I promised to drive the six hours one way and back as long as she pointed the way with the help of her spiffy iPhone maps application.

Our destination was the Black Sheep Gathering in Eugene, Oregon, where the fairgrounds hosted buildings-full of roving, yarns, dyes, spindles and everything else you could think of to do with animal fiber. It took a very long time just to walk through the amount of vendors and to just see everything. While there, we both took some classes, and also watched some of the fleece judging. This man, from New Zealand I think, was so impressively educated on everything fleece. He was able to just look and feel and then start expounding on the type of animal, the breed (he could even guess the cross!), the manner of shearing and the overall quality. He was also very funny! It was a jolly good show.

One of the things I did ahead of time was research the “best” places to eat while there as I prefer to avoid chain restaurants as much as possible. Oh boy, did we eat well…such as Thai food, burgers, pizza, wraps, and of course some lamb sausage at the Gathering itself. This was probably the funniest food we came across, though, all knitted:

Speaking of food, we meandered around the Saturday farmer’s market and I think there were three full blocks of vendors (no joke!). Wow, do I ever wish we had a market like that in our own neighborhood! Naturally, most of the offerings were organic. I picked up a basket of cherries that I enjoyed later that afternoon.

What I should have picked up in addition to cherries was some of this woman’s amazing rose petal jams and treats. The sample was yummy!

I mean, just check out how gorgeous her chocolate rose petal truffles look.

We were really amused by a small group of people that were walking around shaking canastas and singing “Saturday….marrrrrr-ket!….” This little girl added to the ambiance with her smirk and ears and fox tail and violin playing. And yes, there was quite a bit of tie-dye everywhere.

I was aware of the presence of at least three vendors who were either evangelizing or trying to raise money for Christian work. This particular one was selling jewelry and donating to the pregnancy care center where women could get support for choosing not to abort their babies. Ironic, how the current fight is for the abortion industry to maintain federal funding while the real support and care comes from women scrapping to sell hand goods to truly care about “women’s health”.

The funny thing is, while we were driving around trying to not go down a one-way street, in the middle of a conversation I lamented aloud, “Where are all of the street preachers, calling people to repentance and giving them the hope of the gospel like Paul?” And whaddayaknow, at that very moment my friend pointed to my left and there he was! I called out to him, “thank you!” and he nodded. Who knows if he was feeling discouraged just when I thanked him? *sigh* Jesus is amazing. And I was so encouraged that He was still active and at work in the world, not willing that anyone should perish. I really did miss going to worship that Sunday morning.

We did find a used bookstore during our stay; it was two stories and filled top to bottom. I was thinking, “great farmer’s market….great used bookstore…I could move…”

Oh yeah, and this bakery cinched it for me (the willingness to move thing). Seriously, this has got to be the best bakery I’ve ever been to. For some better photos, check out their website. Prepare to drool.

In between classes and touring and just messing around at the sheep gathering (and yes, there were hundreds of actual sheep there too), I spent a goodly amount of time just lying in the grass under the bright warm sunshine reading and writing. I almost forgot how great it feels to just lie in the grass with bare feet and a good book! It was an amazing gift my family gave me, this time just to rest and to do nothing (other than drive, eat, and shop).

One of the last places my friend and I visited was a huge rose garden. It was beautiful, but because the grounds had been fumigated just days earlier, it was rather much for our senses. But gorgeous blooms besides, and an enjoyable end to our trip.

I’m sorry to say I didn’t get even one picture of my friend and I together! It was really a very lovely time, and I’m looking forward to going again some year with my daughters and perhaps taking a friend or two again and their daughters. I am thankful for the time, and appreciate my family for letting me take it.

Late Spring This-n-That

June 13, 2011 4 Comments

Here is some catch-up on what’s going around my home and farm-ette.

Flowers are coming into bloom, including the unusual pink lilic tree; what an intoxicating introduction to spring. I love wandering to and fro through the garden and smelling nature’s perfume wafting from the newest blooms. The apple blossoms are finished, and sweet rocket is in full bloom. The irises out front are in full purple array, and they–believe it or not–really do smell just like root beer!

I added three new kinder goat baby gals to my herd. They’re very sweet and adorable but I’ve had to work hard towards getting them healthy. I don’t know if it was the stress of the move or what, but I am learning as I go how to treat my own goats and keep them in the best shape. It’s not like I went to “goat school” or whatnot. I am very pleased with their progress so far. The little black goat on the left has the silkiest fur coming in and it does feel good to see outward healing. Isn’t she cute chewing her cud?!

I like this outside wall art and wanted to share it; it’s made from from an old bicycle chain link. I love this sort of clever repurposing; some folks are just so artistically talented! I would never think of this!

My girls anxiously awaited the first warm day of the season, and when it arrived, they grabbed all of their doll clothes and washed every one of them by hand on the washboard and hung them up to dry in the garden. I love the idea of having a clothesline, with sunshine and fresh air infusing themselves into our clothes. Maybe someday. And then I’ll know just who (times three!) will get to pin them all up!

Speaking of art in the garden, I love these painted pottery chimes as well. They sound very mellow.

My husband and I had the “great idea” of raising our own pastured chicken for our family’s food. We felt pretty confident that we could get someone to come take us through the butchering process, but as it worked out, everyone was busy. Let’s just say, “thank God (truly!) for internet and youtube instruction!” Here is my friend who showed up with her six children to help me figure it out. There are friends you can call at three in the morning, and then there are friends you can call on to help you kill and gut your food. This one is both.

Overall, we’re having a good start to the summer season. Our community has a new boat to the city, and though I’m glad my morning commute is just from my bedroom to the rest of the house, I’m real excited for the difference this boat will make in the lives of our commuters; shorter travel times mean more time for family and that I think is a real blessing.

Enjoy the season!

Truthful in Trials

June 10, 2011 2 Comments

“God brings us into straits that He may bring us to our knees.” (Matthew Henry)

It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting:
for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Ecc 7:2

A few of my friends are going through some really trying times in their marriages, and I haven’t been immune to them either. Between just the five of us, we are dealing with marital infidelity, unemployment, pornography, financial difficulties, death of children, and upheaving a life in order to sell a house and in essence, start over. In other words, just because God is the Lord in our homes, it isn’t always “happy” in the sense of perfection.

As Christian wives, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do. We know we’re supposed to follow our husband’s lead, but what if where he’s leading is where you don’t want to go? Our options (and actions) vary from quietly having rational discussions to all-out fighting, sometimes both on the same day and we are not immune from bristling and falling down in our fleshly ways. Furthermore, it seems that because at least culturally we “understand” that Christians don’t ever, ever complain about anything (because that somehow means we are not trusting the Lord), we may be tempted to portray that our marriages are perfect, our homes are perfect, our children are perfect, and weeds never ever show up in our gardens.

I for one am praising the Lord that these friends and I don’t have to pretend that everything is perfect all of the time, answering falsely to inquires on how the day is going, how life is going. It’s one thing to maintain privacy to unbelievers (because, really, how are they going to encourage us?) but it’s another thing altogether to always answer with a cheery “fine!” in the midst of Christian fellowship. If you’ve never answered, “well…..actually….” or something akin to “hmm…today is not so bad” to even a passing “how are you” then I’m sorry but the stench of pride is wafting. No one has a perfect life. Even Jesus was spat upon, disrespected, mocked, physically beat upon and tempted. But, despite the fact we grow more and more like him, we still carry the thorn of sin in our flesh and we still fall.

Happy is that home whose God is the Lord. But it’s not some fake “happyhappyjoyjoy”. It’s the blessing that comes from knowing that in all things, God is present, and He is our Helper. And I for one praise Him for “makin’ it real” friends who humble themselves in their real troubles, and for being there to pray for me and pick me up when I fail. Which is humbling. Because I have to first say, “yoo hoo! Sitting in the pig pit here! Help!”

The Lord sustains us in our trials, but if you’re never truthful about the trials you’re in, then not only is opportunity missed for a brother or sister to minister to you, no one will seek your hand for help either because apparently you don’t understand the hard things in life and haven’t “been there”. Speak up. And let us all work towards showing that the Christian church not only knows hurt, but has the answer in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

On Siblings

March 15, 2011 1 Comment

I could hear the screaming from across the house, it’s piercing vibrating the atmosphere of the house through the walls. The formerly obedient little brother decided to flex his self-determination muscles and his bigger sister was not real pleased with that. I actually found it a big comical. Because I remember being the bigger sister with a little brother who annoyed me, mostly because he didn’t want to play things my way. Or get out of my room.

Usually I let them figure it out on their own, with “choices”. Like, “you can disagree with each other but the rest of the family doesn’t need to hear it.” Or, “I can see you’re both having a hard time. Why not NOT play together for a while?” I find that if I take sides, whatever side it is, trying to solve the issue, the peace bought is shallow and short-lived. I’m more stealth than that. I find jobs they have to do together (dustpan and broom) or rewards they can share (popcorn if they beat the timer cleaning up an area together). I school them together, allowing for happy banter while we use scissors or markers. I might even whisper, “Pssst….let’s surprise your brother by making a few paper airplanes. He won’t even GUESS who did it!”

I think our children have good relationships with one another. With six children, there are multiple relationships always going on at the same time (each child having a different dynamic with each of the five other children). It pleases me to see them interact with one another; I’m confident that they will be very close as adults. After all, when you spend all day every day with your brothers and sisters under the watchful eyes and ears of loving parents, it’s hard not to just let go of the dumb thing argued about and just get out a board game.

Quantity time with one another is the best relationship builder. Are your children spending enough time with each other?

Blessings,

On Mentoring

February 21, 2011 1 Comment

Matthew 10:8 …freely ye have received, freely give.

An enthusiastic young woman recently sat across my table and between sips of water was sharing about her love of the Lord and her testimony of His grace. I sat nodding and smiling and sharing in the wonder of His working in my life, also, and before I knew it our conversation turned to child training questions, to homeschooling considerations, to homemaking challenges and before I knew it (again) she was asking for weekly meetings, for advice, for mentoring. From me.

Um. Oh. Um.

I was non-committal and encouraged her as she was leaving that she was free to call me anytime and that I would love to see her again. Just, you know, give me a call. I prayed for her and she left.

Well. Ever have those times when you just know the Lord isn’t real pleased with you and you just kind of avoid Him and pretend you aren’t even aware that anything could possibly be the matter?

I remember being a young-ish mom with my first baby and it was such a challenge to me. For starters, after nine months I still wasn’t getting any sleep. I was t.i.r.e.d. And walking around a foghead all day while trying to work part-time was swinging me from depression to self-pity to anger and I’m certain God saved me before that time so that I at least could have HIM when nothing else was going the way all of those stacks of popular parenting books by my bedside told me it would go if only I followed their easy methods that apparently every mother except me could master. Funny now. How having HIM was “at least” instead of “enough”.

I remember seeking out a mentor. One that didn’t pat me on the head either physically or intellectually, one that understood that children were a blessing and that snickering about how little sleep I was getting was not going to endear me to anything else they had to say. One that didn’t make me feel like, “well, you made your bed…” In other words, what was clear was ‘you had your baby (or two), now good luck with it (or them) because I’m too busy running other ministries’. At times I wanted to stand up in the middle of a church service and say, “Hey! Isn’t there any woman, any woman at all, who wants to mentor a young mom like me? Hello? Hello?” Mentally I could see the pity eyes patting me on the head. So I refrained. And kept smiling on the outside.

I remember baby number one turning into a toddler who was, let’s say, “a real challenge”, and then baby number two came along during that time. And then baby number three. And we lived in a condo with no yard and all of my baby friends had quit having more babies so they were all out shopping or decorating their houses or starting box businesses or meeting with friends for coffee dates while their children were at preschool. Me? I was still nursing. Changing diapers. Trying now to live on one income. Already homeschooling.

Lonely.

It was God’s best for me. Because during that time, HE became enough. Whatever need I had, whatever challenge I faced, whatever frustration I was facing….HE spoke His perfect Word to me through the Bible, giving me exactly what I needed to hear exactly when it was needed. He introduced me to wonderful and godly women through books and magazines who were full of live-giving encouragement and practical helps. He taught me how to sit at His feet, to love the women who felt inadequate to mentor and forgive the ones who mocked, and how to love my children in the process.

And now I have nothing to give back?

I called the young lady seeking a mentor after a week, after a week of not having her call me, which I knew she wouldn’t because I never would have either. I feel about as equipped to mentor as I felt about becoming a mother to begin with, about being a mother now. The difference is, though, I now know. God is enough. And I can at least share that.

“Hello?….Say, about those meetings you mentioned…”

Trusting Jesus,

What’s A Friend For?

January 11, 2011 Leave a Comment

I find myself in a quandary, and it is this: how to lovingly support a friend when engaged in practices that are questionable at best and yet this person expects, or even demands, my approval of them in order to maintain the relationship? I know we all function with people every day that are not the exact same as ourslves (thank the Lord), but sometimes there are important and/or life and death issues that come up that cannot be in good conscience ignored by at least one of the persons involved. So what is the response of a friend in disagreement supposed to be? What should it be?

Of course it is almost an easy matter if advice is requested. Then, at least, permission is granted for dialogue. But what if a celebration is planned for a party that is based on congratulatories that makes you sick to your stomach? How do you graciously bow out of the underlying assumption that if you’re friends, then of course you agree with their premises? And if you must bow out, how then? How do you lovingly disagree without any person feeling (God forbid) judged? Is it even possible to strongly disagree with one big issue but still fellowship with each other through the other parts of those lives that are compatible? I’m afraid that even when hard things are gently shared with the greatest of trepidation and fear…it doesn’t always fare well. Add the fact that you’re dealing with two sinful people and whoa-baby!

I’m pretty lame at this; I don’t know how to do this well. If I knew the answers, I would still have not only the friends I have now, but all of the friends I’ve lost through disagreements over the years (some without even knowing why or how or in what I was apparently disagreeing with!). It just seems to me that a friend who is always in agreement and blessing with everything you say and do isn’t a loyal friend at all, but a fan. Or maybe one that has been somewhat manipulative demanding complete acceptance (or silence) in exchange for friendship.

If friends can’t ever disagree, then I do wonder what the point of a friend is at all. Better, it seems to me, to just buy a dog. In the meantime, if you have friends that not only hold you up, but will hold your feet to the fire when they think it is necessary, give thanks to God. They are rare, and as such are precious. I know, because I have them. The others that demand my unconditional approval of things I cannot in good conscience bare? Those, I’m afraid, I need to learn to sadly let go.

The Mercy of a New Year!

January 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

The coyotes woke me again tonight. Well, I ought to say the dogs woke me, what with their running and barking and guarding and sounding the alarm. I love watching them work, and think they look beautiful racing around with their long legs and communicating with one another. It’s a bother waking in the middle of the night, but usually it’s because I either have an infant needing milk or dogs needing my attention. Both are worth waking for.

As the ruckus settled, I was patting my dogs and looking out from my front porch at the blue-black sky punctured with clear stars, thinking of what I might goal-set for the new year. But the beauty of the sparkling frozen ground lit with my flashlight’s wonderings filled me with more gratitude than wants. I have no new year resolutions. In my mind, every morning of the year is a brand-new-day resolution to glorify God in the best way I can, to serve and love others and to do my best, giving my life to them. And as often as I falter during a 24 hour period, the thought of crafting one or more resolutions for 365 days (in a row?!) frightens me to no end!

Much easier for me to ponder my thankfulness, to count my blessings. I’ve had the most relaxing end of the year. Yes, the thorns in my life have been plenty (see the last post), and I’ve been fodder for an unexpected and astonishing amount of unkind gossip, but the indwelling joy of the Lord is untouchable. I love His peace, even in the hurts. It is truly like a river glorious. I have so much to be thankful for, but none compares to being saved by His grace and His presence within me.

The turnabout in our house sale caught me a bit off guard, but I am humbled and thankful for it. I had mentally prepared for the challenges ahead, and also physically prepared by collecting moving boxes and removing things off the walls. And yet here we stay! Suddenly I am planning not only a garden outside of my kitchen, but an enormous new one in the front yard. I am retracting my request for a honeybee babysitting service, and reconnecting with a shepherdess regarding lambs. And for the first time in more than a year, I feel I can just snuggle into my house and not worry about how we’re going to make it all work. A dear friend reminded me that it was not my job nor my calling to worry! I know I am worth more than the lilies of the field, and because I am under His care, I can trust God to provide meat and clothing regardless of where I am living in this vaporful life’s span of mine. My husband is encouraging, positive, passionate about loving others in Christ to good health, and I am thankful for the opportunity to bless him while I have breath. I know the Lord will bless the work of his hands, and I will continue to be his biggest cheerleader no matter where we put our heads at night.

I have also been blessed with beautiful friends. Friends who press me forward and encourage me in the Lord to continue to love “much”, because I have been forgiven “much”. Luke 7:47 …to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. Friends who trade eggs, text Scripture, and celebrate God’s goodness with me in all things. Friends who join me in crazy new endeavors and friends who joy with me in keeping our homes and loving our husbands and children, serving our wonderful Saviour in the process. One friend said that selling the house and trying to become debt free was probably becoming more of a yoke of bondage than just dealing with a mortgage, and that I could rest in my husband’s decisions, knowing that I could “rejoice to be not entangled again in any yoke of bondage”. Praise the Lord for His sweet freedom! And for the blessing of these sisters who remind me!

I am blessed by the quietness of mid-night, of winter, of the quieted land and animals, of the quiet household tonight with sleeping children, and of a quiet, sound mind. It is already a new day, and my resolution for today, the gift I have right now, is as the wonderful hymn says, Lord, take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to thee…

May the Lord bless your efforts in the new year, and may His peace be yours.

The Chains that Bind

April 12, 2010 Leave a Comment

Beware of who you lament your workout (or lack thereof) woes to. Two friends of mine ~~ganged up on me~~ encouraged me to start working out again after I ~~explained~~ whined about my body feeling rather weak, even though I was walking/jogging on my treadmill.

“It’s only twenty minutes!” said one.
“You’ll feel so great!” said the other.

So I bit and bought the video and after the first oh-so-notverylong workout found myself the next day about unable to move at all. Serves me right; after finishing up that same workout I recall thinking, “Now….that wasn’t so bad….”

Thankfully I have two friends (nah….they’re *buddies*!) doing this crazy every-or-mostly-everyday workout with me. Each of us has a paper chain of 30, with the expectation that we will each off the 30 days before Mother’s Day. You know, so we can all be “hot mamas” heh heh.

Ok, so the really fun part in all of this is that once a chain is removed, a cell phone photo of its destruction is sent to the other two parties. So far we’ve had chains run over, fed to children and geese and dogs (not really, people, sheesh!), flushed down the loo, used for firearm target practice and planted in the midst of dog poo (yes, really). When I hear the wee notes of a message received on my cell, I honestly have no idea what in the world is going to show up these days!

So far I am a week in and ready to move to level 2 (woo hoo!). I’ve had to do this in the morning because once the goats and poultry and dogs and children are up and needing to be fed, my own quiet time is o-v-e-r. I wish I could say my six-children-tummy is tightening up but even I have no hope of that ever happening. In fact, I’ve gained two pounds! Yeah, yeah, muscle schmuscle.

I guess if I ate more of this instead of leftover scraps of baklava, that would help matters.

This cereal, by the way, is one of my favorites lately, and it comes from here:

And this is the video we’re using, and yes, it really only does take 20 minutes to work out all parts of my body. That’s a good thing, because I for one do not have much more time than that to devote to just working out. Once I figured out the routine, I cut the sound and began listening to my favorite podcasts. That sure made the time go faster!

It does feel good to take care of my body. All of you moms out there that just workout and love it and are so diligent, you inspire me. I’d rather stay in bed! I just have to remind myself of my goals every morning while I lace up my shoes in the quiet hours before the house awakens. And remember never to complain about things to friends who are eager to cut off the whining.

Why I Left Facebook

April 1, 2010 Leave a Comment

The hard part about explaining why I left Facebook is that the vast majority of my real and internet friends still participate in it. So no matter my reasons for departing, some will necessarily feel condemned for their continued practice. That is not my intent, but if anyone else has been feeling the uncomfortableness of it all, then let your own pruners sharpen. Otherwise, this is my own gig.

I left Facebooking because:

* I love God more. I will tell you that since I joined the party that never sleeps, I read less of my Bible. I haven’t memorized any Scripture in ages. And instead of conversing with the Lord during the day, I am crafting tweets that I know will run through Facebook. But I miss HIM. And I understand now why He didn’t want me doing that in the first place. I just ignored His council and joined up anyway…because I “know better” about these things, I guess Photobucket . Again, not judging anyone for their own walk, just observing mine and not liking the view. I figure if I’m bored in the evening and just want to unwind, let me crack open my Bible or pray while I knit instead of finding the laptop.

* I love my friends. I am blessed to have a handful of real, deep, loving friendships. Yet I feel that even those relationships have waned as we now “keep in touch” via Facebook. For me (again, this is for me), relationships just are not built on “checking in” on one another’s publicly posted snippet of a day of what’s on their mind. I would rather talk with someone, walk with someone, share a cup of hot whatever and share our hearts. I’d rather make the time to meet or talk or write or even email one-on-one than try to keep up with trifles to the masses. I am not one of those blessed by deeper relationships via social networking, (although I had really hoped that would be the case with some of the people in my life) and I really don’t care if I ever find my second cousin twice removed, but I’m glad for the 400 some-odd million people that apparently are and do. Instead, I found it rather annoying when I, in person, inquired about a topic only to be told that it had been posted on Facebook (like, I should be totally up on everyone’s post at all times!). Man, 400 million people!

* I love my husband. One of my concerns is the very real occurrence of past boyfriends seeking me out. This may sound really very lame, but I do not care (it must be one of those *turning 40* things). I’ve had men find me in person and find me by phone. I had a man talk with my husband and offer him a beer! The very sad thing is that although I love my husband to all ends, I am but a weak and sinful woman who recognizes the pull of “what if”. When half the marriages are ending in divorce, even in Christian homes, and when sites such as Facebook are reconnecting old flames like wildfire, I am not so prideful to think that our marriage is one that cannot by any means fall. I choose to protect ours. Again, not judging! Go ahead and check in with your old love, go ahead and keep him as a “friend” (you do see that I am NOT recommending that, though!), but I’m keeping my heart out of it for the sake of my husband’s. And mine.

* I love my children. When I am “checking” the computer multiple times a day or answering comments or sending texts on my cell, I may be thinking that I am giving importance to the person on the other end. What my children see, however, is that I’m giving importance to a piece of machinery. I am teaching by my actions that watching the back of my head is more important than spending time with me baking cookies, pulling weeds, or even just reading a book on the couch. What they are learning is that the computer and Internet is where life is *at*. I disagree! Life is enjoyed with God! And in smiling and playing with my children, and in feeding my hens, and in basking in whatever slice of sunshine I can get up here in the northwest!

* Lastly (I think), I love learning. I’ve been one step, one thesis away, from my masters degree for…..a year? I have books to read (and write!) and projects to tackle. It just sounds lame to me that “I don’t have time” to learn to (whatever) but somehow I found time to write a couple thousand news blurbs. Which were all about me. Like this blog (hmmm….) I want to learn to crochet. And soak grains for baking. And milk dairy goats. And just plain to better keep the home, mommy the kids, and love my husband. I’m a work in progress whose lifetime is a vapor. I want to suck the marrow out of life, REAL life.

Ultimately, the Facebook distraction was fodder for neglect. And it wasn’t important enough for me to figure out how to let it coexist with my life.

This is hard because I care too much what other people think. But that alone, perhaps, is the best reason for letting go of Facebook. I don’t condemn others for the choices they are making with their time and relationships; I don’t have time or the heart or the mental capacity to send zingers of judgment. I still care about all of my “friends”. I still want to know you more. But if I’m to be a real friend to you, your heart is going to have to be a little more exposed to mine in the process from now on, and not just through casual published headlines. It’s gonna cost you time and effort and risk. And that is why, I expect, I’ll always have just a “handful” of real friends with relationships that transcend technology, even if we do share a 140 letter tweet on occasion.

Sibling Relationships

March 3, 2010 Leave a Comment

One of the reasons I love homeschooling is that it fosters good sibling relationships. Brothers and sisters are home, together, all day long during the hours that they are at their best. Older brothers and sisters learn to love and care for their younger siblings, and, in essence, are pre-learning good parenting skills. Younger siblings not only have multiple friends to play with but have models of what it is to work cheerfully, honor parents, and grow in good manners and character. There is plenty of time for youngers to play with youngers, and olders to “hang out” with olders. It is wonderful! I totally disagree that children “need friends their own age” or “friends that are just their own” (in other words, outside of the family). Whatever for? Instead, I encourage our children that other friends (and yes, they do have them!) come and go all through life, but brothers and sisters will, for better or worse, be brothers and sisters all of their lives. That is one reason I believe that the best *gift* you can ever give your child….is a(nother) sibling.

Here is my 8 year old playing a game she made up with her 5 year old sister. Even the die was made from paper! My 8yo enjoyed teaching her sis something new, and my 5yo was happy to get some one-on-one time with one of her big sisters. No one loses in that game!

It is worth the hard work of running a busy household and organizing learning opportunities for each individual child when it stokes the hope they will all be there for one another when that blessed day comes and we are no longer with them. I am thankful, truly thankful, for the chance to foster good relationships between them while they are under our care and guidance.

Sharpening Iron Over Marriage

August 25, 2009 2 Comments

There are women everywhere who are always picking at their husbands (and unfortunately one of them stares at me at times in the looking glass). I find it repulsive. From the media to the grocery store to the lawn at home. Nag nag nag, pick pick pick. Some wives are so well versed in it they don’t even realize they’re doing it. And sometimes it’s done just so creatively and softly that only the wife is aware that she did it again to get what she wanted!

And what I find to be a true-ism is this: as much as this behavior is atrocious, these women are flat out unhappy. They’re so worried about being control freaks that they can’t relax and just snuggle with their husbands without making sure he’s removed his shoes at the door first.

So my friend and I are helping one another to be better wives, through prayer and accountability. It’s pretty plain speech at times, but that’s what real friends do.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

I’ll give you a peek into our conversation, and you can glean from it whatever you need at this time, knowing that “No, it wasn’t about you”. And yet….could it be? Warning: the following may turn you green if you are still tied up in feminism…..

Does your husband know today of your full support? Does he know that you are his biggest cheerleader, that no one respects him more than you? That if the dishwasher broke you’d hang in there waiting for months until he could get it fixed..with a cheerful attitude (oh wait, that’s me over here 🙂

Are you organizing your time to have a good healthy meal for your family ready? Are you making the foods that he enjoys?

Does your husband know how excited you are to be going on the upcoming vacation with him and how much you appreciate all the time, effort, and money he is putting out to make it happen?

Are you training your children to have the home cleaned up before their daddy gets home? Their faces can be wiped and your hair brushed, too.

We can do all things through Christ. Yes, we have the time, and yes, we know what we need to do. Discipline your mind and your actions to follow Jesus and your emotions WILL follow suit and grow you in JOY. Don’t let anyone give you reason to consider you the “poor wife” and don’t keep score. Remember how much God has forgiven you and forgive your husband 7 times 70 times.

These are some things to consider and ponder and be sober about. Not that what we *do* or *don’t do* gives excuse for our husband’s behavior, but that we are faithful to what God has called us to. We can’t help change or actually change our husbands, but God does work through our obedience to Him, especially when it all seems pointless.

I know we know this one (emphasis mine):

1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Our conversation needs to be
(1) chaste:
Free from obscenity, In language, pure; genuine; uncorrupt; free from barbarous words and phrases, and from quaint, affected, extravagant expressions.

and

(2) coupled with fear:
Reverence; respect; due regard.

If we can’t talk with our husbands with those two things in mind, then God’s promise is about null and void because of that “IF”. And yes, eyebrows *talk*.

We ought to be pleading with God for that meek and quiet spirit, too. It is the meek that will inherit the earth, and a spirit of “when is it my turn” will just lead to further discouragement and fertilizer for the roots of bitterness. It is not easy; it is a SACRIFICE and that is why it costs a “price”. It is a sacrifice unto the Lord when we hold our tongue, respect our husbands, give him room to fail, and just acknowledge that yes, failed expectations ARE a loss for us.

It is only with GOD that the impossible is possible, to continue to serve cheerfully, to love selflessly and to hope continually. You are NOT a failure, my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God has already set your work before you AND gone ahead of you. HE is GOD and HE will fill you up. HE will speak to you and listen to you and HE will work through you and in you through all of this. He is working on YOU, and you WANT what He’s forming (though you may think you don’t right now ha).

It’s a new day, friends. As we speak with our husbands, will we put away what does not edify (like nagging) and put on what does (like lovingkindness?)

Dust off the wedding pictures and remember why you married him. And then give him reason to thank God he married you. It is a good and proper challenge for me, as well, and it is worth it.

Mark 14:8 She hath done what she could…