Alone Together

In 2017, Sherry Turkle published a book titled Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other. I think of it now, the title mainly, because of the deluge of emails I still continue to get about how “we are all in this together”, this of course being the pandemic of COVID19 which as a consequence has led to of all of us being more alone than ever. For it was one thing to bury our heads in our smartphones while across the table with someone at a restaurant; it is quite another to not even have the option of sitting in any restaurant, with anyone at all.

And having options is simply one sliver of what we are all grieving. Sara from Gist Yarn sent out a lovely email in which she came alongside to commiserate all of the various griefs we are currently bearing, such as the loss of security, predictability, economic loss, and social interaction. I share these griefs, also, as we run a small business (taking a dive along with so many others) and had to cancel all of the events we were looking forward to. We are also concerned about our extended family and loved ones: their health, financial picture, and livelihoods.

I wish I had the right words that would instantly lift every concern. For although I know my Redeemer lives and holds everything in His hand and for His purposes, it is at times difficult to battle the emotional upheavals. For me, I have not been much afraid, though I know there has been a lot of fear expressed (most of it in my inbox). My emotion tends to swing more towards sadness than anywhere else, partly due to the disruption in our lives, but also because I fear (so maybe there is fear) that when this is over, there won’t be any lessons learned moving forward. That we’ll all just put this into the realm of “past events” and simply move on, back to our eyeballs glued to our screens when we finally are allowed to sit with other live human beings over coffee. Or we’ll stop asking the larger questions about life and death, not only about what we owe our neighbor, but why we do. Or we’ll go back to the presumption that everything will continue as they have been from the beginning of the creation (forgetting about the great flood, or the Tower of Babel, or Messiah coming…). And it isn’t that I fear people will not consider their ways and rightly repent towards the God Who controls every molecule of the universe (including viruses), it’s more the sadness I know they won’t, regardless of His lovingkindness and mercy towards them in the meantime.

This pandemic will not last forever. Neither do earthquakes, financial ruin, wars, cancers, or famines. These are part of the world in its fallenness and we have to live within them, and unfortunately suffer them. But your spirit does live forever (one reason why Christians recognize the treasure of each and every person made in the image of God, from fertilization all the way to natural death). If this pandemic causes any sorrow of heart, let it be the seeds of a deep journey into discovery of who you really are in your heart of hearts. Ask all of the tough questions, seek out answers. How are you really doing spiritually, and in your marriage and parenting? How does your life look financially? Is your home a place of honor, love, production, and safety? Let this be a time to reflect and to cast a new vision if necessary. It’s not too late. With a nod to John Piper, don’t waste your quarantine.

Lastly, I remind both my reader and myself: God’s grace is sufficient. There is nothing new under the sun, and if we are walking a difficult path, God promises to help us to bear it and go through it (not necessarily to deliver us from it).  I’ll share with you here a homework assignment I got once, from a lecture given by Dr. Nicholas Ellen.

Make a list of, over the last ten years, all of the things that:

God has saved you from

God has provided you with

God has saved you out of

God has allowed you to experience that has been a blessing

I pray that as we meditate on His Word and on His mercies in our lives, we will have peace. Because even in the storm, Jesus is in the boat with us, and He is trustworthy.

Blessings,