Isaiah 35:4 Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not…

Ruby had her first appointment with Cyndi Ringoen of Can-Do. Cyndi’s a certified neuroeducational developmentalist (say that five times fast!) who I met at a homeschooling conference last April. The woman is a wealth of knowledge and encouragement, and so we made the three hour trek to meet with her.

Ruby’s evaluation took about 90 minutes. It was mostly observation (of Ruby) and interview (of us); it was very thorough. After about a twenty minute wait, we were trained on how to do all of the activities that Ruby needs to be on this program, which took another 90 minutes or so. I could hardly keep up with the massive amount of information, and so allowed the video recorder to just think for me.

When I got home, I let the pile of papers I brought home sit on the counter for a good two days. Day three I dared to pick at it. How? How am I going to do no less than twenty-five activities with my Ruby multiple times a day? None of them are hard; after all, she’s only 15 months old. And many of them, we already do intuitively. And yet, when there is a checklist involved, and a time and frequency set, “mommy inadequacy” rears her ugly head (followed closely on the heels by “mommy guilt”).

Slowly, I’ve been working at it. I ordered some toys (tools), taught my olders how to keep her on her tummy, and substituted my classical mornings with solo Mozart. I put together a list of activities each child could do with Ruby during “their” play time with her. The main thing is, and this was the biggie: I chose (and choose) to remember that God knew what He was doing when He gave her to us, and so I must just plod along in faith the few steps ahead I can see, and not allow for the anxiety of mapping out the mountain ahead.

It’s going to be an interesting journey.

Watch your way, then, as a cautious traveller; and don’t be gazing at that mountain or river in the distance, and saying, “How shall I ever get over them?” but keep to the present little inch that is before you, and accomplish that in the little moment that belongs to it. The mountain and the river can only be passed in the same way; and, when you come to them, you will come to the light and strength that belong to them.
Mary Anne Kelty