Crafting Our Own Cages; On Social Media et al.

my current weaving project

“In an age that should theoretically offer us greater possibilities of freedom than in any previous generation, we have in fact used that freedom to devise our own trammels and cages, and our entire culture of consumption seems designed at once to promote and conceal addictive and obsessive patterns of behaviour.”
Malcolm Guite

I recently reread the first chapter of my book Present, and I think I actually laughed out loud. One, my own trammel and travail of desiring, nay, an eagerness of longing for, the appreciation and approval of a well thought out and well written Blog. Oh, how many hours I lost in the pursuit of such a lesser thing rather than heed the call of the humble keeper at home. I was a keeper OF the home, yes, physically present and all obvious checklists ticked off and deeds duly completed. But a keeper AT home, emotionally and mentally and spiritually present? Only the Holy Spirit was clear enough, strong enough, to rouse me from my lusty heart towards self-gratification at the expense of greater things, and I am grateful for it.

But, two, therein lies the same bent of my heart towards misplacing my worship and affection, and even today the Holy Spirit now and again prods me towards a self reflection. This hardly leads to boastfulness. If I’ve learned that lesson once, I’ve apparent need to relearn it. So I was reading and reflecting how that little Blog possessed me, how the internet overwhelmed me, and I found myself considering how puny those patterns of behavior really were, akin to child’s play, in light of the tangled webs a smartphone weaves. Oh, the ease of those little screen squares, those apps of promise to relieve me of boredom, of hard thinking, of meditation, of prayer. Oh, how texting promises to absolve me of the burden of meeting, and especially listening to, another person, in person. And easing me from those burdens that technology did, and does, and so I laugh (while crying, you see) at how like a baby I have a propensity towards a return to foolishness, towards a return to seeking a paltry affirmation (oh those wonderful bright red notifications!), and the insidious lie of “connection”, of ruling over and having it my way in my own created and curated little world, little iEverything.

What connection? Connection is defined as a state of being knit or fastened together. Am I truly more knit or fastened together with the people I am “connected” with, with this technology? No, a thousand times, no. Rather, I find myself, all our selves actually, in self-created bubbles of ever deepening narcissm. Not only will we not lay down our lives for one another, we won’t even have a decent conversation outside of LOLs and emojis and proof of acknowledgement via the all powerful “LIKE”. Liars we are, calling ourselves “friends” and “followers” when we do neither. We grapple with what and who we follow and like, and what it might mean if we don’t, but we avoid contending for the faith or studying our Bibles or engaging in real life. I wonder if we even know what a real life in pursuit of holiness is anymore, we’re so captivated by the entertainment of trivialities and memes.

How insidious the deceit, how large the battle, how easily I dull and gratify myself with meaninglessness. So I went on a semi-media and smartphone fast, and every lie was easily exposed. Of course it was. Exposing deeds to the light does that.

All these things were in mind as I prepared several sessions for a retreat that ended up getting cancelled. It was just as well. I had in mind to pass a basket around and ask for attendees to give up their smartphones for the duration of the session, and I had hoped that every lie would lay filleted on the altars of our idols as our discomforts and protests howled within us…lies such as how unaddicted we are, how in control we are, how we could quit social media if we wanted to, how we don’t pick up our phones much, how we don’t really spend much time on our phones at all, how we are actually more connected than ever.

And yet.

Even when truth stands open and plain, our fingers itching to swipe for those “quick glances” dozens of times during the spell of a single moment of time, our plan for resistance is ridiculously gimp. We might add an app that tracks our time but it’s far too easy to “ignore limit for 15 minutes”…again and again and again. Or we may pummel through with grit teeth our alloted fasting time to prove our non-addiction only to become glazed-eyed upon reacquaintance, the hours slipping by as we continue to swear “just a minute” to any task or toddler awaiting our attention. The reality is that we are feeble and weak in light of the massive amounts of science and money spent on (and bent on) keeping us scrolling on our handy slot machines, our hearts greedy for the triumph of another domamine rush.

What to do?

Well, for one, be real. Take a real fast from your digital media, at least a week for those non-crucial applications. If you’re a doctor on call, keeping your cell on is crucial. If you’re playing with your toddler at the park, probably not so much. But outside of asking your child or spouse if you spend too much time on your technologies (a great deal of humility is required for such a sincere inquiry), abstinance from participation with media or technology of all kinds easily reveals an obsession or dependence, or dare I say, worship?

Be honest. How many times a day do you think, “I should share this…”? How many times an hour do you feel compelled to check your email, your DM’s, your notifications? Do you really have any idea whatsoever how many times a day you pick up your phone or how many hours are taken up with mindless internet surfing or media skimming? Do you even see anyone (ahem, me…) glaring at you when you try to text and drive, or how your child, the one you claim to love, utterly gives up on accomplishing a moment of your full attention while at a restaurant?

Be willing to repent. If you’ve ever lost friends through social media or “checked in” during a church service or scrolled while talking to your spouse or filled your grid with more than a few selfies…and you and I both know there are more reasons we ought to repent…consider that perhaps unlike Nehemiah who refused to come down from his God-ordained work, we have not only come down, but have danced and partied by the golden calf at the expense of our holy work and in the process have forsaken the work of sanctification and patience, longsuffering, meekness, and charity within our own homes. As we donated our golden earrings (that is, our own time and money), we never considered WHAT media we would use, WHY we would use them, or even HOW and WHEN. Instead, it seems that most of our technology uses US, most of the time. As the quote at the head of this post states, we have used our freedoms and liberties to create our own cages. In other words, we ended up where we never intended to go. Sin does that.

Thankfully, God is gracious to provide us a way of escape, a key of hope and promise to unlock those destructive patterns of behavior, even as we consider our technologies and other means of distractions. As Christians, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is within us! We are not slaves to the cares of this world or the lusts of other things entering in; we have the mind of Christ and a sure foundation from which to grow in the Spirit. We can change.

I encourage you…no, implore you…to fast from technologies and/or media, and allow that fast to lay open any deceit or distraction from the work to which you’ve been called. Let a fast reveal to you the extent of any idolatry or of any relationships that have suffered due to its mastery over you. Consider all aspects of your life, much as I did in Present, and fill the space fasting creates with building better friendships and rapport with people you love, and with making progress on your dreams, and with using your hands to create more beauty in the world.

As for me, I’m in the process (again) of deciding WHAT (to use), WHY (to use it/them), HOW (for what exact purpose does it/they best serve) and WHEN (what day or days, and time or times). I’m reminding myself what I’m supposed to be doing here at such a time as this, and making decisions of what it means to be a friend, and how I can be a better one. Most of all, I’m praying and asking God to lead me, because ultimately I understand that the freedom I have in Christ is not to be used as a cloke for selfishness, but for serving Him and producing good fruit. I want to stay on the wall with Nehemiah, and not come down.

Would you be willing to put your smartphone in that basket I was going to pass around? Consider the power in the palm of your hand, and if you in practice call it Master. Only Jesus is rightly our Master (John 13:13), and only Jesus makes us free indeed. Walk therein.

For helpful reading, other than my book (smile), you might like to read 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You and/or Digital Minimalism. Philip Telfer has also done a lot of work with regards to media discernment, and is worth hearing.

Blessings,