Inside Work

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him,

the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

John 15:5  

When I published the book PRESENT in 2015, it came after a season of raw and plain consideration of how distracted I was from what in my heart I wanted more than anything else in the world: to follow Jesus and to do His work in the world. And I found that many of the people I wanted to love and many of the activities I wanted to do had taken a backseat to other good, yes even purposeful, projects that kept my eyeballs on a screen rather than on the prize.

Is it ironic that I find myself here again?

It is not the screen tangling me up as much as it is the amount of outside work I have allowed to creep into my hours. And therein lies the crux of the matter: what qualifies as “outside work”? What is “inside work”?

Inside work is the work I understand God has called me to do, quite plainly in Scripture. Inside work is accomplished with the tools and talents He has gifted me with, and done for His purposes in faith, even if I cannot see the results of that work in the time frame I hope for or expect. That work much of the time is unseen and unappreciated by the world, even as it enjoys and benefits from its fruit.

Outside work is the work that diminishes the primary work in any way, whether physically (I’m not actually there), mentally (my mind is elsewhere), or emotionally (my heart is not present).

What is the work God has called me to do during this time in my life?

More than anything else, God has called me to faithfulness to Him. This means that my primary activity, the one thing that surpasses absolutely anything and everything else in my entire day, is to devote myself to Him through the study of His Word and in prayer. Spending the first of my day with Jesus encourages me to think His thoughts throughout the day, and equips my heart and mind to not only walk in wisdom and truth during the day, but to worship His goodness in my every circumstance. If my devotional life is lacking in any way, if your devotional life is lacking in any way, it is time to submit and let Jesus lead me (and you) to quiet waters.

Considering I still have all nine children at home, many of whom are young adults, I still have opportunity (and the gift, really) of not only training them up, but speaking into their lives. Two of those children have Down syndrome, and that is an entirely different world in the realm of teaching and training. I find this privilege of being with my children pressing on my heart in the best possible way: that I have mere moments left in this vapor life to not only teach them about Jesus, but to show them in reality what following Him and what reflecting His goodness looks like in all practicality.

Managing my home—and what a blessing, to have a home!—is also a priority. It’s what I want to do, even in my heart of hearts. I do not see my home as simply a container for things or a place to sleep. Rather, it is the seedbed for furthering His kingdom through the witness of the gospel. This means my home is orderly, peaceful, purposeful, and full of people at all times. It is a welcoming place, a nourishing place, and a safe place. There is comfortable room not only for all of our bodies (I know you hear me, decluttering friends), but for intellectual and creative growth. I know that in our day and time I do not have to make broth, soap or bubble baths for the babies. But I want to, and it’s those little seemingly insignificant things that go by the wayside when time presses in to meet other outside deadlines and commitments.

Caring for myself is also an “inside work”, for if I am ill or otherwise unhealthy, how will I with mental clarity and physical stamina be able to do any of the work He asks of me? What sort of witness will I be for my growing children, or for my grandchildren? How will I be able to continue supporting my husband in his work? I for one can be rather blind to how my body is being affected from physical challenges such as difficult childbirths, three cesearean sections, or moving three times in five years, not to mention the stress of everything in between. Whether good stress or bad stress, all take a toll that none of us can ignore, and I must take care with my physical body the best I am able. I am certain healthy living has been brought to the forefront with the current pandemic. As my husband relays, as much as you are able, “Be hard to kill.”

Friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your visit here, for entering into my little world and for listening to or reading my contemplations. At this time I find I need to withdraw and feed my prayer life and private journal with those contemplations, and to continue fostering those limited face-to-face and snail mail relationships. I find that I must choose between continuing to do all things fair to middling, or to do less with excellence. Today, I choose excellence.

Should you desire to keep in touch, please sign up for my email list. I cannot and do not promise any sort of regular communication, but that is where you will find me should I have anything to share. I have another book already written and may end up sending out a chapter at a time for feedback. I may end up closing my Etsy shop and instead offer a handwoven item for sale through my mailing list. Who knows? The blog will stay up for a time, but most likely not permanently as keeping a website does take time and attention.

I pray God will not only supply all your needs, but as Elizabeth Elliot once wrote, you will allow Him to judge what those true needs are. If anything is lacking in your wholehearted devotion to His service, may this post be an encouragement that it is not too late to take your heart and your life to Him. May He lead you beside those quiet waters too, friend. After all, He is the Good Shepherd; let Him do His inside work.

Blessings,