A Happy Home Media – Page 2 – Happy is that people whose God is the Lord

How Much Time Does Downsizing Take?

May 6, 2015 8 Comments

How much time does downsizing take? More than you think. Or maybe I’m that slow. Something I read told me to expect at least six months to get through it all. I remember that I laughed at that. Right. I’m at least two years in.

I began downsizing years ago. Clothes, toys, books. Slowly, slowly. It’s easy to get rid of the old stuff, the not-played-with stuff, the *meh* things. But let’s say you’re given one drawer. What clothes would you keep? Would you try to shove them ALL in? Or would you pick your very favorites? What about a kitchen cabinet? You know, “A”-as in ONE-kitchen cabinet? Would you keep all four sets of dishes and 34 drinking glasses?

My whole house feels like a ONE. One bathroom, one bedroom, one sofa, one cabinet. On one hand (ha–ONE hand), it is very liberating. Less stuff to clean, dust, maintain, repair, look at and trouble myself over. On the other hand, well…..it’s so hard to pare down! I admire (or, maybe, don’t believe) folks for whom decluttering is easy. Yeah, I get how easy it is. Like, “just” chip away the marble that isn’t the beautiful statue. Simple.

I’ve had some helpful people cheering me on and I’ve read some good things. Blogs abound with minimalist flavors such as http://bemorewithless.com/ and http://www.becomingminimalist.com/. I’m learning to keep my “favorite” things and let go of stuff that has “already fulfilled its purpose”. I’ve sold books on Amazon, furniture on Craig’s List, and stocked my local Goodwill. I even interviewed Bob and Erika Shupe for our next podcast. But I’m still not There yet.

How do I know this?

Because every time I walk into a room, or look at a bookcase, or cook in my kitchen, I just know. I don’t know how else to describe it. But it’s “not yet.”

One book I’ve enjoyed so far with regards to direction is The Life Changing Magic of Tidying. I like the focus. First this, then that. So far, I’ve done “this”. Now I’m on to “that”. It feels good. I can ignore the “but this” and “what about those” and “how to do these” and instead just pay attention to the one chore, the one category. It’s helpful.

What am I chasing? In the words of Joshua Becker (Clutterfree with Kids):

“less clutter in my home

less stress in my life

more time for my family

more generosity in my spending

more energy for my passions

more contentment in my heart

more gratitude in my soul

and far more opportunity to pursue things of greater worth.”

Yes, yes, again yes. I am on a journey (is that word trademarked yet?) to a lighter, more meaningful life and I trust that I will someday look around and say, “This is it”. If I’m lucky, it might take me only six more months.

Pressing on,

Plant a Little Something

April 28, 2015 1 Comment

Such terrible things going on these days. Earthquakes, riots, illness, and on it goes. I know all of creation groans under the curse of sin, and sometimes I know we feel that groan in our spirits, too. I’m thankful I got to garden yesterday, to think about lovely things in front of me.

A friend brought me a couple of loads of soil with his truck. What a blessing! I enjoyed all of it…the blisters from shoveling it all out, the sore muscles from wheelbarrowing, the dirt under my fingernails. I freshened up the walkways with rock and/or timber, put down cardboard on areas with heavy buttercup invasions, and smoothed out rich black soil and compost. The smell was intoxicating.

I planted oregano, thyme, rosemary. Winter and summer savory. Dill, catnip, strawberries, and chocolate mint. And lots more herbs and flowers: calendula, cosmos, poppies, columbine, borage, hollyhocks, sunflowers, anise hyssop, echinacea, brown-eyed susans, zinnia, chamomile, basil, nasturtium, love-in-a-mist, sweet rocket and bachelor’s buttons. Parsley, lovage, tarragon and violets, too. I had several starts, but most of it was from seed.

None of this is going to feed my family a meal. For that, I am tremendously grateful for the milk delivery across the street and the CSA delivery to my front door and the cow that is growing down the highway a few miles. What provision! My husband is not interested in gardening on a large-scale at all, so right now, this is the space I’ve been given. I’m going to use it: lots of herbs for the meals and medicines I do make, and lots of flowers for the soul. Because when the world feels especially rotten, a little bouquet of flowers on the table or swaying in the walkways does my heart good. Plus I can nibble a piece of lemon balm while watching the children outside.

Maybe some grief could be assuaged if everyone had a little soil to plant something into, even if it is just a small pot on the patio for a little parsley or peppermint. If nothing else, it could be fodder to contemplate the miraculous work God is able to do under the soil to grow the little seed. Then maybe we would think more about God, about His obvious handiwork in creation, about the privilege we have of knowing Him through Christ. I dunno. Maybe. A little extra dirt wouldn’t hurt, though, would it? I was glad to be plied from the continuing downsizing and the screens that continually beckon. The fresh air and sunshine did me good. Have you planted anything lately?

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Blessings,

The Waiting Time

April 16, 2015 3 Comments

Our happiness or lack thereof is often nothing more than a manifestation of our expectations.

Ben Hewitt

The cursor blinks at me. I sift through the thoughts in my head and come up with nothing. If I let them settle, wandering thoughts float to the top but feel like chaff. And the heavy things tend to stay rooted, parts I don’t want to dig up anyway. My fingers stay poised, however, and I’m waiting.

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I was introduced to Ben Hewitt through a podcast on unschooling and found his lifestyle to be intriquing. No, not intriquing…compelling. A lifestyle lived not in the pursuit of money but rather in the pursuit of meaning. Growing food, animal husbandry, children making bows from trees and with a knowledge base of herbal medicine that would shame me in five minutes flat. But my kids, my kids know Brain Pop. I just bought my dinner chicken from Azure Standard and my babies are now wearing disposable diapers (I know. But I sure got tired washing the cloth ones.) Ah, the whole comparison thing between what-I-want and what-I-lack…

On the other hand, I do use multiple sourdough starters and bake bread. I’m gathering soap supplies. My kids are learning Spanish and know how to write well. And I actually know how to butcher a hen. So it’s not like I’m not living aspects of the Real Life that I desire. It’s just that my desire, my expectation if you will, is the whole enchilada (grown from scratch from my own seeds in my own garden on my own land…).

Does anyone ever have the whole enchilada? Maybe. I don’t. I’m in the waiting time.

I’ve been studying through Jeremiah (I know. Still. It’s a long book!) It’s hard not to find it depressing. Decades of warning, and finally the promised judgement comes and death and dispersement follows. And the comfort the captives get in Babylon is this (Jer 29:5): build a home, have children, plant a garden. In a crazy land full of pagans. Not that I’m comparing.

But this is not my house, so I can’t tear down a wall

(so light a candle, sew some curtains…)

But the world is so unstable, I worry about my grandchildren

(disciple them, love them….)

But I have no barn for animals, no real means of planting

(enjoy your rest, let Me provide…)

The cursor blinks. Go on, go on, go on….

What ARE my expectations for life? And–more importantly–are they right? Are they meaningful? Most importantly: are they based on Truth? I understand that my longing or dreaming for *whatever* is born out of many things. It is hard sometimes to find the balance though between “hoping for” and “accepting what is”. Do you ever struggle with that?

Perhaps the greatest comfort I have is that I’m already living forever, and that my place for eternity will very much feel like (finally!) home. I am thankful for the glimpses I am already privy to (baby giggles, warm eggs from the nest, hummingbirds at my window).

I suppose my greatest expectation is that God will finish, somehow, the work He’s begun in me. Knowing that He’s promised to do so is better happiness than any worldly expectation I could come up with. In the waiting time, that simple and yet profound time known as “the dash” (on the tombstone), my joy is full even as my worldly hopes are not.

It’s gonna be all right.

The Important Work

April 12, 2015 4 Comments

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There’s a lull and it will be so for maybe 15 minutes if I am lucky. All I can hear is the drip-drip-drip from the kitchen faucet (on the list of fixes to do) and most of the children are playing outside while the sweet potatoes are roasting in the oven. Baby is finally sleeping and my left forearm and elbow are grateful for the break.

Hours ago I had a mind to do some writing. Hours ago I had a desire to watercolor in my journal. Instead I did the work of rocking, rocking, rocking while the rest of my family napped and played. My mood became gray, my lids heavy, but still I rocked.

Was this the important work? Just back and forth, back and forth?

The crockpot simmered. I eyed the herb books on my desk, various sticky notes and scraps of paper sticking out on all edges, waiting for more study. I noticed the green and plastic Easter grass trailing off the piano, the upside down laundry basket on the floor, the sofa pillows strewn. Still I rocked.

I managed to cradle a phone call to my mother while wrangling the fussy baby, and after finally putting the baby down to nap, decided to spill this out of my fingers.

But now my Ruby is screaming. Baby is already waking. Children have questions (six–no, seven–in the time I wrote this) and the woodstove needs stoking. I will leave now to tend to them all, finish and serve supper, and then eventually fall into bed.

I will read the psalms by flashlight, and I will know His peace, His heart, His comfort. He will not chide, shame or scold me, even for my gray mood. And because Jesus did His important work, I can continue to do mine. Mine involves rocking.

What’s your important work?

Coming Summer 2015!

April 6, 2015 4 Comments

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Readers of my blog know how much of a struggle it is for me to pay attention to real life, to struggle through the endless distractions of things that are not eternally important. For me, the internet is a web indeed, and many of you remember when I deleted the first A Happy Home blog completely in order to, in a sense, cut off the hand that was hurting my heart, my relationships, my homemaking and more. This is my story of that time. If you share in the fight of creating real meaning in the short amount of time we all have, this book will be a blessing to you as you travel through all of the silly and serious things I did to overcome the pain of wasting my life. You’re not alone. You’re not lazy, stupid, unloving or too old to learn new tricks. Won’t you join me? Here is more information for now, and more will be coming!

Blessings,

A Downsizing Tip: Consolidate

March 31, 2015 4 Comments

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.

Margaret Drabble

Downsizing isn’t finished around here and has become more difficult. What to keep? What to get rid of? I crave the space but cling to the craziest things…like my lesson plan books I used when I was teaching 17+ years ago! But they were so good, I think, it was so fun… But I have never used any of those things in homeschooling, and even if I were to go back to teaching in a public school (not likely), I would do things differently.

But there they were: notebooks of photos, lesson plans, schedules, etc. and etc. (and etc.) I thought about giving them to someone and I thought about making up some nifty ebook about *whatever* from it all, but I finally just chucked them. I’ve also been going through all of our homeschooling books and curriculum. I have used so many different approaches, different books, different work texts…it just made up for a lot of books and things that not only took up space, but collected dust (literally). A friend taught me how to sell books on Amazon and woo-whee have I been making a lot of trips to the post office to mail books! I tell you what: it doesn’t hurt as bad to get paid to downsize! Slowly, slowly, I am consolidating my books to the ones I reference often, or reread. I figure if it’s just attracting more dust, I am blessing my children ahead of time with less to deal with later when I die.

Here are some other areas I am consolidating. Consider this a “7 Tips To Downsize!” with “BONUS 3 more for free!” without the annoying ads or pleadings to join my email list. (You’re welcome. But do join my email list :))

recipes: I know I don’t need 50 cookbooks, but that is what I’ve downsized to at this point (I know…it’s a sickness…). Any cookbook I kept for only one or two recipes went buh-bye and those recipes got copied into my recipe box. Someday I will go through that recipe box and flick out every card that hasn’t seen the light of kitchen workspace into the garbage can. And someday I will then downsize my cookbooks again (and again) until I can happily have…I dunno…five? I am finding that the library has a bazillion cookbooks I can try out, so that’s my plan for fresh inspiration when I need it. And then–wouldn’t it be cool?–I can type up all of my consolidated recipes into a personal cookbook!
art/craft/sewing instructions: so.many.tutorials. All just waiting for the nebulous time I’ll get to it “later” but you know what? Whenever I get that “later” time, I always find something else I’d rather do. But just looking at all of this stuff makes me long to make this or create that and promise myself (again and again and again) that I will get to it. So now I *am* getting to it…by letting most of it get-to-gone.
art supplies: I love art journaling and have started my second book. But I find that I am using the same materials over and over again, and I have a whole lotta of maybe-someday-meh things that are pretty to look at but I’m tired of maintaining and organizing. In fact, I am sick of “organizing”. I don’t care how well I do it; it still means s.t.u.f.f. I’m tired of plastic bins, shelves, binders, and drawers. Most of my art things happily went to an artsy friend of mine.
herbal recipes: I am an herbalist and have scraps of paper everywhere with recipes and notes on them. I am consolidating them all into two books: one for recipes and my own materia medica, and one for lecture and class notes. Once my lectures notebook is full (it’s almost there), I will just use the other one for everything.
photographs: I love Shutterfly, and manage all of our photographs there. One day I’d like to consolidate all of the old photographs into a digital book, but spending time on the computer is definitely not my thing (I’ll forgo the rabbit trail of where I see this blog going for right now…). What I’ve done with my loose photographs is gone through various stacks and tossed the extras. For example, when I came across photos for a holiday event, I tossed all of the repetitive or otherwise unworthy-to-be-saved pictures. Do I need 15 photographs of a child in various poses in a single outfit? I think not.
clothing: I am terrible with my closet. It’s not that I have too many clothes; I have very little. I’ve been trying to gather clothes according to some mathematical number (have so-many shirts, etc.) but I’ve since decided that I need *outfits* for certain days. I need a “going out” outfit, a “gardening” outfit, a “clean the house” outfit, etc. This is easier for me to manage; I can just grab Monday’s clothes. Mathematically, I guess that means like “ten outfits”, giving some flexibility to the week.
time: I’m always trying to arrange my time to give priority to what I feel is most important, letting go of *extra* tasks and outings that are not fueling my main purpose at this season in my life.
homeschooling: From many different curriculums, to joining together as one group. Finally. My oldest is 17 and I feel like I’ve finally come to peace with how we homeschool. Combining grammar with Bible with reading with writing with history and so on. Everyone working at their own levels, and with time to pursue their own interests. I know….because you’ve been asking…I need to write a homeschooling post or do a podcast on it. But I’m too busy homeschooling 😉
gardening: Well, it’s certainly easier to consolidate my gardening when there isn’t much to do! The old house we were in had never-ending (although satisfying) garden work, and this current house has kept us so busy with repairs and upgrades that I haven’t been able to spend time OR money outside in the kitchen garden. The raised beds desperately need to be weeded of morning glory and buttercup, and it seems so daunting. Furthermore, I need dirt and compost but seriously cannot find anyone to bring me $50 worth of soil. So do I want a dump truck delivered with a tremendous amount of extra for $364? I am soooooo thankful for our CSA down the street and cannot wait for the first box this upcoming weekend.
kitchen: One drawer or shelf at a time, that’s how it’s done. Do I really use 12 wooden spoons? No, I use the same 3 all of the time. Do I use my soup tureen? No, I just use the pot, even with guests. And so on…

One thing we just consolidated was the time we spend on our hens. I get the great idea of a chicken tractor and we’ve used one for many, many years. But it is falling apart, and it is daily work that takes time. I was ready for a simple coop with access to the outside pasture. Thankfully, we were blessed with a gentleman that gave us his labor and time in exchange for playing with his baby (and such a sweet baby!). So, he put up some gates in our yards to keep our toddlers safe and then built us a small coop to put the hens in at night. He also relieved us of our wasted feed problem. I am immensely grateful to him and wish he could continue to work for us, but he has his own homestead to work on.

Here is our easier chicken work load; isn’t it pretty? The duck house is in front of it; we brought that from our old house. The ducks free range, too. Having a livestock guardian dog is a very nice way to keep predators away.

The inside has crates for the nest boxes which will be far easier to clean than the wooden ones we had in the tractor. And there is PVC pipe for a continuous, clean, non-waste feed source, and branches for the roosts. We still need to set up a watering system, reinforce the bottom to discourage digging varmints, and put in bedding for the bottom.

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I can’t say I love downsizing. The *idea* is great, but the work is hard. It’s not the difficulty of taking stuff out, although there is work in that. It is more of a mind and heart work, and a very stimulating and provoking challenge to where my treasures really are. I’m keeping my eye on the prize.

Blessings,

Gaining Clarity on What REALLY Matters: Kelly’s Tornado

March 26, 2015 6 Comments

You really never know what a day is going to bring when you wake up in the morning. Listen to Kelly’s amazing story of survival and faith, and be encouraged to get your physical AND spiritual house in order as well. Are you ready for YOUR storm to come?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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utter and complete devastation, within 30 seconds

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Kelly Crawford in the midst of chaos

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the painted barn door in Kelly’s current home

You can find Kelly Crawford currently blogging at Generation Cedar.

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Down Syndrome and Happiness

March 20, 2015 7 Comments

Ruby

I awaken to the sounds of purposeful thumping down the stairs and loud “AAAWK”s.

Ruby.

I overslept again. It’s easy to do. Once Ruby and my 2yo are in bed, it’s a quiet couple of hours of almost uninterrupted painting, chatting with my older children,or sewing. My eyes tend to wane before my will does, but I stay up even longer to hold a flashlight, reading into the night.

But she’s up now and the games have begun. She will be on the run until she’s in bed once again, and we will all be chasing her in the meantime. Sometimes she will need to be held tightly, against her will, because she wants to hit other people out of her own frustration. Sometimes she will decide the milk isn’t good and deliberately pour it onto the floor or throw the food she doesn’t want. She will scream when you say no to the knives, no to climbing up the gate, just no.

I will myself to get up. Ruby is yelling, waking the others. In my head, I hear how people with Down syndrome are so happy all the time.

Maybe in Ruby’s own mind, when she has access to knives and puts mud in her sister’s hair, maybe she IS happy. But this idea that just because you have an extra chromosome you’ve also inherited the happy gene is either a misstatement at best or an outright lie. It doesn’t do anybody any favors that all-out-cheeriness is expected at every waking hour.

I wonder why we do this. Why do we talk about the blessings of special needs children, of adoption, of large families, of homeschooling, of living in the country…but no one wants to give the other side of feeding tubes all night, the trauma of separation anxiety, financial struggles, learning disabilities and mud?

It’s sort of like inviting people to church. Come! We have programs, games, popcorn and potluck! Accept Jesus and all will be rosy!

It’s much harder to be truthful, to say, You’re invited, and we do have some pleasant things, but Jesus needs to accept YOU, and frankly, you’re unacceptable….your sins are filthy and you need to repent. Oh, and if and when you do, Jesus doesn’t promise you the best parking spaces everywhere you go. He promises persecution and trouble. BUT He’ll be with you, forgive you of all your sins and you’ll live forever in a place you’ll actually want to be in. Which–actually–makes the hardships and all of the pain worth it.

I’m combing Ruby’s hair. She’s grabbing at my hands, yelling “AAWK”. I get her to her chair, strap her in, and give her baked rhubarb-oatmeal and milk, which thankfully she can feed herself when she’s not throwing it to the walls. She giggles and gives me the biggest grin. Then she says, with actual words I can understand, a full and understandable and appropriate first time ever two-word sentence, “Thanks, Mom.”

Ruby is not happy all the time, but neither am I. But, together, we find joy in the little things, the little wins, and perhaps that is where the real blessings are after all.

How To Make a Happy Home When Home is Not What You Want

March 18, 2015 Leave a Comment

Dear Friend,

You’ve been much on my mind since receiving this question via the Google search you embarked upon. I admit my initial response was confusion. How could anyone not want home? But as I pondered it further, I came to respect your honesty.

Especially in Christian circles, home is where we as wives and mothers are expected to be. After all, we all know the Titus 2 exhortation and some of us have even joined up with groups and studies to get the training and encouragement we need to do the home-thing well. But, knowing how to create menus, manage housekeeping chores, and plant a garden doesn’t mean that our hearts are in it. Sometimes our hearts are wistfully looking outside of the kitchen window, even while we diligently do dishes, dreaming of…I don’t know…something ELSE.

Maybe you left a blooming career. Maybe your dream of flying around the world has been put on hold. I don’t know. I do think it’s ok, however, to mourn whatever you had to kill in order to create life within the walls you have. It’s sort of like really wanting the flourless chocolate cake, but the waitress says they’re out and you could have the blueberry cobbler instead and so you do and it’s ok but it’s not the same is it?

Being home is not the same as doing the “else”.

But, maybe…maybe…it could be better.

The homemakers I know, here in America, have an incredible amount of freedom. They can manage their own time, prepare and eat what they like, wear whatever they wish, and learn whatever they want. Many homemakers have taken advantage of internet opportunities to form like-minded communities, participate in distance education, and earn money from home. They can create their own particular nest, and then change it up with paint or whatever Pinterest picture inspires. In other words, there is almost nothing that you can’t do from home. At home.

If we’re honest though, staying home can be horribly frustrating, provoking, or even boring at times. I know we’re not supposed to admit that, that somehow it fails to glorify God to say so, but it’s true. It reminds me of the woman who gushed all over my baby daughter with Down syndrome, about how much of a blessing she is. Well, yes, she is. But I already know it is going to be difficult, maddening, and gut-wretching, too. I’m going to have times of looking at her and wishing the Downs away.

Maybe you misunderstood: homemaking–like parenting–isn’t all happy all of the time. Maybe you feel a little guilty that you don’t have that sense that supposedly every other homemaker has.

I have a few thoughts on this.

One, what you’re lacking is not a fake Pollyanna attitude. You don’t need to “just buck up” or paste a fake smile on (although it IS true that smiling DOES turn on the happy hormones in your brain). Rather, maybe you *do* need some education on homekeeping, cleaning or meal preparation. Seek it out, get it. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve read books on exactly how to clean my house, and I still don’t know how to properly fold fitted sheets. I’m actually ok with wadding them up! (Hmm…are you trying to live out someone else’s idea of what homemaking *ought* to look like?)

Or, two, if you’ve got that sort of nuts-and-bolts under control, what you’re lacking, and what you might need, is IMAGINATION.

What is it you want? A college degree? A weekly salary? A trip to Hawaii? Do you want to dress well, feel great, get more sunshine? Travel around the world?

Instead of waiting for college, could you begin borrowing books from the library and begin educating yourself? Instead of being an employee, could you be an entrepreneur? Instead of traveling to foreign places, could you cultivate relationships with pen pals from far and wide? Instead of lounging in the tropical sun, could you take advantage of the rays you do have and take a strolling walk?

Why can’t you learn to bake brioche? Wear something pretty? Start an online or home business? Can you take some time to volunteer at the nursing home or humane society instead of nursing or practicing vet medicine? Or could you join a garden club or write your book or create your own spa in your own bathroom? Could you do some transcribing from home, paint a new color on your walls or decide to make nothing but Italian food for the month?

Within your home, you have the FREEDOM to pursue just about any interest you want! It is truly one of the blessings of homeschooling, by the way…your children can pursue their own interests as well.

Lastly, I almost hate to break it to you, but happiness doesn’t necessarily come from getting what you want (ask the lotto winners who end up with ruined lives). A happy home, as it says under my blog banner, flows from belonging to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is an inner joy that sustains me when the toilet overflows, the flu hits, and I can’t afford a Costco run this month. It is the peace that surpasses understanding when grief is like inner mud or fear threatens to rage in my mind. It is what strengthens the persecuted, feeds the feeble-minded, and causes the heart to long for its REAL home…which isn’t here right now.

I sense that home is not what you want, but happiness is. If you haven’t done so already, and will repent of your anger, your bitterness, your pride and whatever else presses on your conscience, and trust the Lord to cleanse you and keep you, HE will be your happiness.

At that point, wherever you are, He will be with you…even if you’re at home! Wherever you are, you can have His joy. And let me tell you, that joy is even more wonderful than the happiness you are currently seeking. I pray you find it.

Blessings,

Beginner Art Journaling (Again)

March 16, 2015 1 Comment

Do you like journaling? I love it! I’ve been keeping a diary of some sort since I was 13, and I’ve been very smitten the last couple of years with ART journaling. Words AND paint! Yes! This is my desk, with my current art journal smack in the middle. I’m using a Hand Book Artist Journal, which has great paper to handle everything I’ve done so far: markers, watercolors, acrylics and collage. The pens don’t bleed through the page, which is nice. It’s a much smaller book than the one I did before, so we’ll see how that goes.

If you like the idea or look of journaling, I can’t recommend it enough! Just start! You don’t have to start on January 1. You could start on your birthday. Or the first day of summer. Or…today.

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I like to think of a word for the year, and this year it is “flow”. As in, go with the flow. Get into the flow of thinking/doing/creating. I sort of think of a ribbon in the wind, just moving with it but maintaining its beauty and grace. Yeah, flow. I like it.

You don’t have to be an artist, but I warn you. Once you pick up the Crayola crayon, you ARE one.

I admit I did this drawing in church. I’m glad I did. Every time I see it, I remember our missionary and his message. It’s a good one to remember.

I’ve always wanted to be able to draw and paint birds. Aren’t they the most amazing creatures??? Someday I will be able to name many birds around me, not just robins and jays. Maybe I won’t be able to name them all before I die, but I’ll have all of eternity. Like I said: someday.

Why not draw the condiments while waiting? Do I really have to check my cell phone for texts or Twitter feeds at ev.ery.se.cond?

A lot of my journal includes things I didn’t draw or paint. This happens especially if I have a rushed week. But I like to glue things in, and it’s a great way to collect inexpensive art.

Home away from home, England is. I had fun using a children’s How to Draw Farm Animals book. I get tons of ideas from the library, from Pinterest, from coloring books. Sometimes it’s easier for me to take a photograph first, and then draw from that. It flattens the image, making it easier. I also like coming up with words of the day.

And sometimes I just want to be messy. Oh, am I loving the acrylics for that!

Sometimes I like weekly/daily entries; sometimes I don’t. The journal is a place to try out things and play.

Let me ask you something: Do you play? I know you’re (fill in the blank) years old, but don’t you…somewhere inside…don’t you still feel, oh I don’t know….TEN?

If you’d like to see my very first art journal, here it is! I took Gina’s class on No More Excuses, and she has since made it into a book. You don’t need that particular book, but it *was* a fun class and got me going. It took a full day just to set up the journal though, so be forewarned 🙂

Take a look, and see if you can glean some inspiration for your OWN beginner art journal!

Blessings,

Motivation in Downsizing

March 13, 2015 10 Comments

My motivation is waning.

I still need to downsize, to simplify. I feel like I’m sleeping in a closet, and my eyes have nowhere to rest because there is clutter on every horizontal surface. Too much furniture, too many toys, too much stuff…and all of it breeds dust bunnies and invites even more complication in trying to keep everything clean.

I feel like I’m starting from scratch. The kind of scratch I began from when I was newly married, except now I have a 6yo with Down syndrome who runs around like a 2yo, and I have a 2yo who runs around like, well, a 2yo. And I’m sitting to nurse every few hours and between those times, carrying her around with one arm while trying to manage and conduct the rest of the household with the other.

I move from room to room, confused at times. What do I get rid of? What do I just pack up and put aside? And, if I choose to put it aside, WHERE? In the utility room that stays damp and cultivates mildew and mold? I refuse to rent a storage unit. And I *know* a bigger house isn’t the answer.

The crazy thing is that I love pictures of homes that are completely decluttered, full of light and space and shine. The chair with two books. The table with a few apples. The children’s bed with a single teddy bear on top. Maybe they’re fake. But they resonate with me, they call me to peace.

So I have that sort of thing in mind, and then I wander into a room and feel the deflatement in my heart.

I have a dozen books just on the subject of writing (that I’ve already read). Two drawers overflowing with table linens (that I never use). Stacks of wooden toddler toys (that no one plays with). Platters I never pile foods on, audio tapes I never play, and clothing I keep “just in case”.

Why don’t I just sell them? Donate them?

I’ll tell you why.

I already DID all of that. I already sent van loads and van loads (and van loads) of stuff away. I already sold driveways-full of garage sale things. And what is left is, basically, the stuff I LIKE.

So I’m stuck in this weird world of being completely unhappy with how things are, and yet being my own worse enemy. It’s like I’m addicted to my stuff. And the other dumb thing is that I can hardly remember any of the things that have already went, so I’m sure it wouldn’t kill me to prune some more.

Guilt doesn’t work (think of all the people who don’t have as much!) and neither does re-organizing (and re-organizing). Much like any change, it’s hard. It’s painful. It involves a little bit of spunk and a spark of courage. It involves a plan (today: the cookbooks!).

But as I said, the motivation is up and down. Right now it’s down (and I’ve escaped into blogging instead). Downsizing is not all Pinterest-pretty. Sometimes it’s not even worth a photo at all.

Plugging away (most days),

Love for Poppy, Another Sister With Down Syndrome

March 9, 2015 7 Comments

I posted this photo on Twitter, so forgive me for reposting it here if you’ve seen it already. I heard Poppy crying and went to see her. Halfway to the bedroom door, it suddenly became very quiet. Hm…

So, I peeked in the door and this is what I saw. It was hard to make an immediate decision between carefully taking the baby OR my grabbing my camera. Glad I got the camera 🙂

Ruby&Poppy

Samaritan Ministries has become a blessing to us, for the second time now. This was a humbling and familiar sight when we brought Ruby home, too. Mountains of envelopes pouring in, containing cards, letters and, of course, checks to pay for Poppy’s hospital bills. So many people praying for Poppy. So many people sending their love. We share them all as a family in the quiet (or not, depending on whether the toddlers join us) evening.

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Once again, it’s become a geography lesson, too. The map is beginning to fill up, and we aren’t even close to finishing up with those bills. Every day, it’s an adventure to open the mailbox. Every day, we’re so touched and encouraged by our brothers and sisters in the Lord. I’m still so amazed by God…how He calls so many others to Himself. I don’t know why I’m still astonished to meet the brethren….“you know Him, too?! Isn’t He wonderful?!”

There are cards and letters all over the place. Soon, they will all get put into a special box just for Poppy, along with the map. One day, we will share them all with her, and then she, too, can be astonished….“all these people were praying and paying for ME?”

Of course, our family is completely smitten with her. I don’t want to ruin this post with how many of these precious children get aborted. Instead, I want to show you a tiny bit about how the biggest and very best gift you can ever give your child is another sibling. Even if she has Down Syndrome, like Ruby. Even if the baby has Down Syndrome, like Poppy.

Thank you all for your love and prayers for Poppy. She is doing so very well; no heart condition, no health issues at all. She nurses as well as any of my other children (except Ruby…oy, that was a very painful challenge). She is almost four months old already, and I know she is very welcomed. I am so humbled to be her mother.

Blessings,

Waking Up…I Think…

March 6, 2015 2 Comments

So the daffodils are blooming and I remember planting them right before Poppy was born, knowing (hoping) that I would show them to her in the early spring. It would be, I hoped, a signal that it was time to come out of my winter sabbath. I think I’m ready. I already have the doors and windows open in the midday, cleaning out the air inside. And Poppy is in my arms, thanks be to God.

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It’s a bit of a mess outside. So much rain this year means plenty of fallen trees, broken branches, and copious amounts of MUD. Oy, the mud and the flood and the whatever-else-rhymes with that. We’ve brought in several loads of rock to re-find and re-pave the walkways, and added some gates to keep the toddlers safe as they play in the backyard.

The driveway gate practically disintegrated so that was replaced. Hopefully it will keep the neighbor dogs from visiting and having spats with my maremma (who could chew their heads off, really). I was sad to lose the hops that was growing up the sides of the old gate, though.

In the back, we are bolstering up the raised beds. They’ve been topped with cardboard, and we’re in the process of filling it with fresh topsoil and compost. It’s nice to see chard from yesteryear coming up. I’m not quite ready to take on the whole garden project as I am still dealing with the house itself, and of course I’m mothering a 3 month old in addition to a 2 year old, and Ruby (six, but acts like she’s 2). So this year I’ve handed the whole garden project to my 13yo and 17yo girls. Have at it, I say. I’ll just be here to manage, give advice, and write the checks for seeds. Better to let them learn and make mistakes here, before they begin their own homes. Right?

I’ll get my own chance to get my hands in dirt, though. This is one of the spots I’ve claimed to rejuvenate and grow some herbs. There’s a lot of buttercup in here so my work is cut out for me. Hmmm, maybe I can give my boys a job…

It smells like spring, and I’m just starting to stir. What a wonderful landscape I’m in. I’m thankful for what’s here, and for the opportunities. I’m also thankful for the help we’ve gotten in these projects, and am very much looking forward to tackling the house with gusto too. It will make for some good blog reading, I’m sure! 🙂

Blessings,

Go Take a Hike

February 25, 2015 1 Comment

Have you been outside lately? I don’t mean the ten minutes it takes you to get into your car or to gather advertisements from the mailbox. I mean, have you gone outside to take a walk, to look at the rain (or snow) drip from the tree branches, to watch a bird or two? Have you closed up the schoolbooks, stuffed your pockets with granola bars, and called a “Go-to-the-park and play and do-nothing” sort of day for the kids? Have you taken the time to sit on the porch or deck or even the curbside late at night, to find the north star and watch wispy clouds pass in front of the sliver moon?

If not, why not? I’m not convinced we always need to be at our checklists or dust bunnies. I can’t remember what I was such in a rush to do a year ago this day (but it probably had something to do with packing!), but I also can’t remember many days of just lazy meandering. It is a struggle for me to even *schedule* a time to spend *doing nothing*, because in the back of my mind even while relaxing (or trying to), I am thinking: I ought to….I should be…this is too lazy…what if…who’s called/emailed/texted…”redeem the time!”…when I get back home…

I hope to change that. I hope to take advantage of our beautiful surroundings and get out more. I love living in town; I love walking to the store, walking to the bookmobile (our library on wheels), walking to get a heaping cone of ice cream. But I also miss the quiet of our woods, and my dear husband decided our family needed a monthly hike.

I’m glad for it. We’ve begun that plan slowly, starting out with hikes that are super short, so that we can build up to longer ones this summer and fall. I’ve already reserved a campsite for our vacation (I know! It feels like we’re already camping!). I’m hoping to crack open my Handbook of Nature Study more and actually DO a lot of the suggestions with my children.

This river is practically in our backyard. People come from all over to visit our area to see places like this. Doesn’t your area also have all kinds of things that are meant for tourists to see and do? Have you done them?

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Here is the amazing waterfall that we would have missed if we hadn’t gotten out of the car and taken the short walk. Methinks we need to come back in the heat of summer; the spray would feel so refreshing then! And yes, that’s my goofy husband showing his power compared to God’s creation.

Have you been cooped up inside all winter? Can I encourage you to set supper into the crockpot and go take a hike instead? It will do wonders for everyone.

Blessings,

Using a Bread Bucket: Slow Bread By Hand

February 24, 2015 2 Comments

I first heard of using a bread bucket about a year ago, and was on the lookout for one instantly. I love it! I can mix the dough for four loaves of bread easily, something my Kitchen Aid can’t do very well due to the smaller size of the bowl. Besides, it gives my toddlers something to do (crank, crank, crank…) when all they want to do is jump from sofa to chair to floor to sofa…(is it spring yet?)

After we add all of the ingredients and crank, we let the dough rise in the bucket itself next to the wood stove.

After rising, we put the dough into our loaf pans, let it all rise again, and then bake. In order to do this without a sourdough starter, you must use yeast. You must not *forget* to put in the yeast. Because no matter how lovely and warm your wood stove is, your bread will not rise, no matter how long you wait. Just sayin’ 😉

Have you ever heard of a bread bucket? I found ours on Ebay. And rather than repeat directions on how to use it, I’ll refer you to where I originally heard about it. It really is easy to use!

Blessings,

Doubling Down For Him: Down Syndrome Times Two–Poppy’s Story

February 9, 2015 4 Comments

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Here is the long-awaited Poppy Podcast! Listen in as we talk about her birth, the trials, our responses, and our Hope.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Here is the story about Leo. Here is his gofundme page to bring Leo home.

Welcome to Holland essay

Mark’s blog post: No Accident–God’s Gift to Mark and Claudia Hall

health care for Christians: Samaritan Ministries International

another podcast we did, on Samaritan Ministries: An Alternative to Obamacare

our podcast on Ruby is here

study on Self Perceptions From People with Down Syndrome

Pregnant couples who plan to abort Down syndrome babies defend their choice

our blog post Ruby has a PAL for life

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What Living in a Downsized Home is Really Like

February 4, 2015 7 Comments

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Living in close quarters

Six months in, and I’m beginning to sense that my “winter sabbath” is going to need to be much longer. I’m trying to rest and regain my bearings, but it has been hard. Here are my most difficult challenges thus far. Feel free to skip the downers if you’d like!

DOWNER: It’s a bit lonesome. It’s not that I’m seeing any of my friends less, but because we moved a good 45 minutes away it takes more effort to “just” meet anyone for coffee. Or even to go *get* a coffee. I’m missing the last-minute get-togethers and the on-the-fly multi-family pizza suppers. I’m not currently running a book club and no one else is either. It feels like I’ve left the party and no one remembers me.

UPSIDE: My house is full of people! We’re connecting with one another more with board games and have been doing an evening family Bible time since September. I’m missing my friends but growing closer to my family. And my snail mail writing has picked up, connecting with friends who’d rather send a letter than communicate online.

DOWNER: It’s cold. Gone is the thermostat to maintain whatever comfortable temperature I want at all hours. The floors are cold. The walls are cold. The windows are cold.

UPSIDE: We’ve learned to use a woodstove and once it’s going, it feels wonderful in here. I’m not sure if it’s the wood-heat, but it feels so much nicer than electric. We’ll be looking into a better woodstove so that we can bank the fire (new terminology!) and make it easy to restart. Once the siding gets replaced on the north wall, that will help the cold walls, and the floors simply need rugs. Slippers help too! Windows are on the “to be replaced” list.

DOWNER: It’s dirty. There is dirt on the floor all.the.time. I can’t even figure out why…it is more people in less space? Is it blowing through the non-insulated (but looking-very-pretty) walls? It is a constant battle to keep it swept. Constant.

UPSIDE: We can sweep! It is a great blessing not to have carpets. Rugs we can shake out. Floors we can sweep. And when the floor is swept, I *know* it’s clean. Carpets, not so much…lots of dirt can bury into those fibers. I’m not sure I’ll be replacing my dying vacuum cleaner. And, with so many people here, we all work together to keep our house clean. Many hands, light work.

DOWNER: My kitchen is too small. As in, way. I appreciate the blogs and photos of people cooking and even writing cookbooks from their galley kitchens, but I now have ten people and only a teeny bit of counterspace. It’s a challenge to find places to sourdough or otherwise ferment anything. Plus our range doesn’t work well, and the fridge has its own issues as well.

UPSIDE: I can make this room bigger. I can move things around, build new countertops and replace appliances as the budget allows. It’s just going to take some time and a bit of out-of-the-box thinking. I’ve hired a kitchen designer, and though that’s not cheap when you have to add travel costs to the boonies, I figured it was cheaper than making expensive mistakes when it comes to remodeling. Although…she hasn’t contacted me for a month, so maybe she doesn’t want to make the drive. Maybe it will be just me making tons of mistakes. And blogging about it…because bad stuff happening makes for good storytelling, right? Meanwhile, I’m using stools and chairs for additional counterspaces, and we’re just making it work. We’re eating 🙂

So, yes, our new downsized home is very pretty and has a lot of potential. But it’s living in the messy middle of what is and what it could be that can be a downer. It’s good to remember the upsides.

Owning a Livestock Guardian Dog

January 28, 2015 2 Comments

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We’ve owned our Maremma Sheepdog since he was a puppy, born 5 1/2 years ago. He has been a good dog, and a worthy investment for our family. Today he got into a rather loud and angry fight with two dogs that ignored his warnings to stay off our property. The dogs’ owner lazily biked by, calling for them above the din. I watched as they ran off, my dog nipping further at their heels. I guess I half expected a limp apology but the owner calmly agreed with me, maintaining his peddle, when I told him my dog was “just doing his job.”

Thankfully, my maremma wasn’t hurt. I gave him handfuls of treats and lots of love, “that’s a good boy.”

Raising a livestock guardian dog is not easy. It’s not like you can just bring a puppy home, and suddenly he knows your rules and what he’s supposed to guard and do. If anything, because he has a guarding instinct, you have to pay attention and take the time and care to train him further. Otherwise, he may just decide that your goat (or child or cow or whatever) is his ultimate responsibility and will fight to the death anyone that dares to approach said goat (or child or cow or whatever).

Before we picked up our dog, I took great pains to read up on the breed and chatted with the farmers raising these dogs. I even joined the yahoo group specific to his breed, and eavesdropped. Livestock guardian dogs are not for everyone. They are very possessive and like to make up their own minds. This is a great benefit when you want that guarding ability, because you’re not always around to tell him what to do. In fact, he will balk if you tell him what to do. These dogs don’t want an “owner”. They want a “partner”. And they don’t need (or want) your lovey-dovey-kissy-smoochie talk either. What they want–and will demand, if they don’t get it easily–is your respect.

Respect is a two-way street, of course. I taught my puppy to respect ME first. I used (and highly recommend) Leerburg’s dog training videos. Not everything was applicable, but I learned a great deal and used much of it. Everything my dog failed to learn (where to poop, not to jump up on people as a puppy, etc) was my fault and lack of follow through. But he learned to respect me, and to this day I can–if I wanted to–reach under his nose and take his supper dish away while he’s eating.

Any dog, especially a livestock guardian dog, needs to know where the boundaries lie. My dog had to earn the right to be off a lead, and we took many, many walks around the perimeter of his jurisdiction. We put up, and still use, an electric invisible fence, mainly because the cost of fencing for five acres was beyond our budget and then some. But, again, you can’t just put up an electric fence and go about your way. The dog needs to be trained to it.

Livestock guardian dogs need to be socialized to many people, too. They need to know that when strangers come onto the property, YOU can tell that dog that “it’s all right” and the dog will leave ’em be. Sometimes I think my dog would cheerfully greet any stranger, but I also know that he can read “something’s wrong here” very well. When he was a young dog, I made the mistake of trying to have my neighbor feed him so we could take a vacation. I made many mistakes there that led to her getting a nip (thankfully, she was understanding).

What were the mistakes? First, my young dog was still in training and still highly sensitive to wanting to guard anything. So, because he was in the barn with the goats at the time, his (wrong) understanding was that any person approaching was suspect. Second, my neighbor had his food in hand–highly unusual. And, third, she admitted she didn’t like big dogs and was a bit nervous–which of course, all led to my dog’s reading “something’s wrong here”. What *I* failed to do was read the situation from HIS eyes.

So, be prepared to spend time training your dog. If you don’t want to put in the time, then please get a breed that is much more easy-going. I don’t know what, maybe a lab or some such. Although…our lab helped to train our maremma how to chase off coyotes, black bears, and bald eagles, so maybe you can teach other breeds of dogs new tricks.

Also, you need to know that in our culture of treating dogs like….I dunno….royalty? humans with their own bill of rights?…some folks can be downright….um…clueless…about how to act around a strange dog, much less a livestock guardian. I had one person march right up to my big white dog, while he was in the goat pen, ignored his (and my) warning, and grabbed his face with both hands to give him a smoochy-smoochy-poochie kiss. Of course he snarled at that person who then went on to decry what a dangerous dog I had. Another stranger tried grabbing his collar to discipline him as he was sniffing the man’s calves and waiting for me to tell him “it’s good, shove off”. And then there is the bicyclist who didn’t seem to understand that my dog could have ripped off his own dog’s heads if he had wanted to. Thankfully, my dog doesn’t “want to” really harm anyone; even strangers (with me) are able to pat him if they are so inclined. But, sometimes, “dog lovers” are the most dangerous people to approach such a dog. You’ve got to really know your dog and decide whether he’s better off staying within the livestock pen, or if he’s safe enough to have run of the property where other people may come and go.

Again, owning a livestock guardian dog is not for everyone. Know that owning one has its challenges, but if you can train him up and give him the respect he needs while doing so, he will faithfully and loyally watch over you, your family and your livestock. And yes, he’ll even roll over for you to rub his belly. Want more information? I found this book very helpful (although at the time I was *stuck* with the last puppy available and didn’t get to compare him to his siblings as the book suggests). Find whatever breed’s association internet page, and connect with breeders and owners to ask questions of. Yahoo groups are another good place to look. Ultimately, a good breeder will interview YOU and make sure you are well prepared for this kind of dog…and take the dog back if you cannot work with him.

Have you ever considered owning a livestock guardian dog? Or do you already have one and can relate?

The Only Promise in Decision Making

January 26, 2015 2 Comments

We’ve been here six months now and we are still getting settled into our downsized home. Today we created a list of things we still needed to do around here: updating the septic system (to get water out), reviewing and probably replacing the water pump (to get water in), and so forth. And so on. And more. In one sense, it feels manageable, just to take one issue at a time. On another, it feels uncertain. We keep having to remind ourselves the *why* and *because*.

I just wish I could stop thinking about the *what if*.

Do you ever get stuck there? In the *what if*? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I make no decision at all? Is making no decision a decision in itself? What if we did nothing? What if we did everything? What if we fail? What if…maybe worse…we succeed beyond our wildest imaginations and then beat ourselves with wet noodles for the rest of our lives for the fear we harbored that hindered us from doing that thing sooner? What if it’s too late?

I hate “what if”. I want certainty. I want the output to exceed the input and, quite frankly, to grow old in wisdom born not out of my own errors but in the careful observation of yours.

It’s not mine to have. All I have is promise, and the promise is this:

Genesis 8:22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

I’m promised seasons and a sun that rotates. Someday I’m going to die and the sky will still blush blue and dandelions will still blow in the wind. All I know is that in this life I’m going to walk with a lot of uncertainty and a certain dimness of clarity about a whole lot of things.

But if I can pay attention, I can look carefully under my feet and see bulbs coming up. Spring is coming. Despite me.

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And, maybe, if I can remember that my life is a vapor and that my goals and dreams and plans and desires are really just there to ultimately give the glory to my Maker…maybe I can praise Him for the blooms He does allow me to see. Even if they look a little chewed up.

Don’t get so caught up in the “what if” that you miss the “what IS”. God promises His faithfulness to the seasons. Through the years, through all of your wins and loses, won’t He grow you, too? Regardless of where your decisions take you?

Blessings,

Follow Your Own Tempo: Quick Granola and Slow Coffee

January 20, 2015 2 Comments

Do you like homemade granola? I do, but I can’t seem to find time to make it. The bowls, the pans, the stirring, the oven…blah. Half the time I make a mess in the oven as granola spills when I try to stir it up. So now I make up a batch of quick granola, on the stove top, whenever I want it. It takes about five minutes, and I don’t measure any part of it.

First, I drop into my hot pan a heaping few tablespoons of coconut oil and then a glob of honey. After it’s all melted, I throw in a small bowl of rolled oats and whatever nuts I have on hand. I stir it up here and there, and when it gets as toasty as I want, I take it off the heat and put in whatever dried fruits I have on hand. Done.

The only real mess to clean up is the stove top, after the kids finish serving themselves up a topping for their yogurt.

I started to make some coffee this morning and I had to laugh. No time to make granola (“No time!” she says), but I make my coffee in probably the slowest way possible. Why? Well…I enjoy the process. It makes me putter when the clock is yelling at me to hurry. I tossed my wristwatch about 15 years ago because I wanted to arrange my days–my life–to follow my own tempo the best I could. So…some things I hurry along (like granola) and some things I make more difficult, in order to force me to slow down (like making coffee).

It takes me five minutes to stare out the window and grind the coffee. In the background, you can see my husband’s personal coffee-grinding tempo 🙂

In the cup goes a pat of unsalted butter and a spoonful of coconut oil. And then I make the coffee. We both love using our Aeropress Coffee maker. It’s inexpensive, really makes the most delicious coffee, and the only power required is your own hands.

While that’s steeping for a minute, I begin heating up some milk. I press my coffee, which melts the butter and oil, and then I whip up my milk. We both like the Aerolatte Milk Frother for that. I gently pour the milk into my coffee and top it all off with a sprinkle of vanilla powder.

I don’t feel like I need to rush the process. It’s about ten to fifteen minutes, depending on how often I need to stop for a child’s needs. But when it’s done, yum.

Any kind of handwork is a slow tempo. I haven’t even used my sewing machine at all for about a year, but I have gotten some embroidery and a quilt binding finished. I’m working to finish this lacey scarf before spring, and I have an apron with yet more embroidery to finish afterwards.

Using a camera is a way I slow down my tempo, to take the time to really look and see, but drawing and art journaling take me even longer. I find the process meditative. Sort of like grinding coffee. They are just little ways to slow my tempo to where I crave it to be.

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How is your own life tempo? Are you traveling at a speed comfortable for you?

Are You Convicted? Or Are You Shamed?

January 12, 2015 5 Comments

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So you have failed? You cannot fail.

You have not failed; you have gained experience.

Forward!

Saint Josemaria Escriva

One evening our family heard a talk that had in the midst of it the importance of naming your children at birth correctly. This was important because the name chosen sets into motion the vision for that child, and reminds that child for life who he or she is, and proclaims to the world that message as well.

When we got home, our children wanted to know why they had the names they did. Some had names from family members, but ultimately, our reason sounded rather limp: we…uh…we just happened to like the sound of your name…

At the time I felt poorly about it, and wished a do-over in which every name could carry more weight. Since then, I’ve realized that, yes, even men with the name of Jesus are rightly serving time in prisons, and furthermore, I didn’t share the convictions this speaker had regarding the proper way to name a baby.

But initially I felt shamed, like fingers were pointed at me. But this is the thing: shame does not mean sin was involved. It is not the same as guilt. It does not need forgiveness or restitution. It is a feeling of being wrong, but is not based in actually having done so.

Shame is a feeling that something you’ve done, or are doing, or even who you are, is received with condemnation or dislike. Or you may not receive appreciation or acknowledgement. You’ve dip-dyed your hair and no one wants to sit next to you at potluck.

Guilt is the sense of having done something sinful, like stealing your friend’s favorite tea mug (that’s high treason in my book!).

How do you know the difference, and why does it matter?

Well, let’s begin with the many standards we as Christians, especially women, make. As you look over this list, think about how strongly you feel about each one.

drinking alcohol

smoking cigarettes

what type of doctor to see

pants or skirts

tattoos and nose rings

burial or cremation

sabbath keeping

toys for your children

TV and movies and ratings

childbirth

organic eating

caring for environment

prepping/survivalist

homesteading

how many children to have

homeschooling

vaccinations

denomination

Bible version

parenting: attachment or scheduling

handmade or store-bought

raise your own or grocery shop

and of course…how you name your children

As you think through your feelings about each of these things, ask yourself:

Why do I think the way I do about that?
From where did I get that belief?
Would I in any circumstance at all ever consider the alternative of that belief?

There is a vast difference between convictions (which should be few) and preferences (which are many). A conviction leads someone to die at the stake. A preference allows for unique circumstances, abilities, temperaments, and experiences.

We often take on someone else’s convictions or preferences and measure them against our unique situations. This isn’t always a bad thing. We see those messengers as loving, well-intentioned, educated, passionate, and even helpful. We read their blogs and books, listen to their lectures and pay for their conferences. It is good to hold up what they are proclaiming into the light and see if they can enrich our lives. Often they do.

Decisions that are made from them, however, ought to be made carefully. Here are some helpful questions:

Do you fear any sort of fallout if you don’t do whatever they are teaching or doing?
Are you afraid others will see you differently or not as well if you do or don’t do these things?
Are you fearful of failure?
Are you feeling condemned or disapproved of?
Does disagreeing make you want to hide under a bushel?

If so, please see that your underlying motivation is FEAR and avoiding SHAME. Is this you? Friend, making decisions out of a sense of shame does not lead to peace. If you are not sure you are feeling shame or if it is righteous guilt, please take a minute to ask yourself (chapter and verse) what sin you committed. And then ask yourself–if it IS a sin–if that sin has been atoned for already.

If you are a Christian, perhaps your biggest fear (gnawing gnat that it is) has been in disappointing God, because you love Him. Now we know we don’t purposefully go abiding in what we know is sin with “liberty” as an excuse, but we also make room for others in their preferences. Those differences may not be sin at all, despite how serious your shuddering in thinking of wearing a head covering (or not!). After all, God’s standards were only a list of ten.

Also, if you are a Christian, you already know you’ve broken those standards. Furthermore, you have already repented of them, were cleansed by the blood of Christ and forgiven. And so where does your GUILT lie? At the foot of the cross of course, in the depths of the sea, as far as the east is from the west. This, as you may surmise, is my CONVICTION.

Therefore, there is no more condemnation for you. EVEN if you make a decision now that you later regret or change your mind over. EVEN if…dare I say…you FAIL and (dum dum dummmmm) Make The Wrong Decision. Or change your mind. Or (God forbid) you start wearing pants, get a part-time job, and pierce your nose.

And IF there is no condemnation or guilt….where is the shame? From whom does it come? Certainly not from the Lord. And not from a blogger (I personally don’t really care if you wear jeans, work at WalMart or have a nose piercing), speaker or anyone else.

You really can live in peace, making decisions from your own convictions and not from a foundation of shame. Don’t let shame keep you fearful. Understand the sovereignty of God. Bless the Lord for your uniqueness and appreciate it. Know you will be in His will and that all things work together for your good. Because the Bible says you will make mistakes. You will feel you failed. You will sin and others will sin against you. But as the quote at the head of this post goes, you haven’t really failed but gained experience. And at this point there is nowhere else to go but forward.

So go forward. Hear and read new ideas, thoughts and the convictions and passions of others. Feel free to change how you think or do things, but do so out of hope and not shame. And may the peace of the Lord in His love and acceptance of you because of HIS broken hands (and not what your hands have done or will do) go with you.

Blessings,

Downsizing Our Home, Upsizing Our Family Part 5

January 5, 2015 6 Comments

The big willow that broke and came down.

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It was a big mess.

Thankful for friends with chainsaws.

Join us for our last installment of this series on downsizing our home and upsizing our family (at the same time!).

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

This is the book that I referenced in the podcast. It is a very good read and I highly recommend it for pondering and as a tool for review during this new year: An Unhurried Life.

This was also a very good (and short!) read. Is “crazy busy” how you answer everyone that asks how you are? Is this really how you want to live your life? Crazy Busy

Blessings,

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Merry Christmas

December 25, 2014 1 Comment

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and angels gave the sign.

May your joy be full!

Bedroom Tour

December 24, 2014 4 Comments

We’ve been settling in with Baby after getting permission to remove her from supplemental oxygen, and I’ve been resting a great deal. I’m happy to report that this has not been a hurried Christmas season but a rather relaxed and enjoyable one. I’m thankful for internet shopping 🙂

But I’d had enough of resting in a room that looked like a storage unit, so I finally cleaned it up. More stuff went to charity. I think I’m going to need a whole year to keep simplifying, but so far the effort has been worth it. My husband had no idea I’d be presenting him with a clean room to rest in, so it was fun to spend the day (the entire day) clearing and cleaning it out.

For starters, the full-sized bed went bye-bye. Pretty, yes. But my husband was sleeping with his feet hanging to the edge! So I bought a brand new queen sized mattress, handmade with organic wool and cotton. Yummy. I want to buy all new bedding and some rugs, but one thing at a time, yes?

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Here is *my* spot, with my girlhood desk that I still use. Baskets on the floor hold my journals, reading books and handwork, and my shelf is full of mostly herb and writing books.

I have a frame over my desk with all of my babies on it. I know they say time flies, but…really…it does.

Here’s our current closet, downsized from the huge walk-in we used to have. Someday we’re going to steal from the hallway and make that door open into a closed closet space. Someday. We have a lot of “someday” projects (don’t you?).

Little things I like are here and there; dried lavender, stuffed toys.

I’m behind on my letters. I think my friends understand. A clean desk and room make it more inviting for me to sit down and respond. I use a toast holder to keep them organized. Etsy is fun to shop for stuff like that.

I found places for the things we like. A potted plant. A tin of colored pencils. A Snoopy typewriting toy (don’t you have toys still?). Old medical books here and there.

Old luggage cases are pretty to store things in. Yes, it can be a bit of a pain to get things out, but I don’t care. I rescued these from my mother-in-law’s garage.

This “curtain” is just a tablecloth folded over. I’m finding lots of things can be repurposed.

The morning of the big clean-up, I told my husband he’d come home to “sleep under the stars”. Haha! That was great fun–the weather has been nasty and cold and wet (not to mention the flooding…) but I insisted that’s what he’d be doing when he looked at me incredulous. And, voila, there they were….”stars” by the time he got home 🙂

Later, he and my son put up the ox yoke (with eight good hefty bolts!). A nice word picture, don’t you think? I’m currently looking for a long piece of artwork to put between the yoke and the pillows. Oh, and notice the baby…best part of the room!

It’s amazing what you can find on Ebay…did I mention how much I like internet shopping?

Our room has become a nice and quiet (relatively speaking…it IS a small house with 8 children in it!) room to be in. I count it as one of my husband’s Christmas gifts! But children do run in, especially if Poppy wakes and calls out. Ruby usually get there first.

We’ve got two podcast episodes to share soon; watch for them 🙂

Blessings,

Reality and Rest

November 21, 2014 8 Comments

After five days, we were given the option of taking Poppy home on a supplemental oxygen unit and decided we could do that. What a blessing! We had stayed in the hospital with Ruby for ten days waiting for her to wean off the oxygen. For Poppy, no waiting, just the opportunity to go home. We’re so very thankful.

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As I look at these photos of myself and my husband, I think, wow, we’re not spring chickens! I think about the fact that I am 44 years old, and that I just had a baby. I don’t feel like I’m 44, whatever that’s supposed to feel like. I consider this pregnancy one of my best, far better than the one I had at 26, and was blessed with a fabulous home birth where for the first time I didn’t really need any help getting through labor at all. What a blessing from the Lord. And the reality that is setting in is this: I am 44 years old. My childbearing years are coming to a close and I see menopause on the horizon. Someday I will not have a squishy sweet little baby to snuggle with as mine own, but Lord willing, I will begin welcoming grandchildren….while I still have small children at my feet. I envision an overlap of children within my home, fingerprints on the walls and cracker crumbs on the floors the rest of my days.

Our days. For as long as the Lord allows my husband and I to be together. So far we’ve had 22 years together (and four more if you count the years we had before marriage). Having all of these children together, raising them up, has strengthened our marriage and grown us up. I love spending life with my husband; he’s a wonderful man. And he’s handsome, too 🙂

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As far as the siblings go, in my mind and experience, there has been no greater gift than the gift of a new brother or sister. Our children have all cheered at pregnancy announcements and were quite eager to have the baby at the end, asking constantly–and hopefully–daily–if I were having any contractions yet. It gives me great comfort to know that when I am gone home to the Lord, my children will all have one another. My hands *are* full. So is my heart towards each of these precious ones.

I am planning to spend the remainder of the year in rest. No schoolwork (for me), no self-imposed deadlines, no new projects to begin. Instead I plan to just pick at the handwork I have yet to finish, decorate for the holidays, and continue to plug along getting this little bungalow in order for our family. I plan to make and drink plenty of bone broth and herbal teas, and to let my mind and body take a sabbatical from the craziness of this past year. Those are my *plans*. We’ll see if the Lord so allows.

Blessings,

Ruby Has a Pal for Life

November 15, 2014 24 Comments

If you want the ending of the matter immediately: all is currently well.

If you want the story: keep reading.

We had a wonderful home birth three days ago, despite being eleven days past the due date. Overall, I think that despite the insanity of the past year with downsizing our home (are you listening to our story?), the pregnancy itself was very good. I didn’t have any of the nausea, the heartburn, the lack of energy (thank God…how else could I have moved an entire household?). So between the pregnancy and the birth, I think I did best with this baby than with any of the other seven. We won’t talk about the afterpains.

After Baby came out, however, it was clear to everyone that not only did she need a little oxygen from the midwife (her color was a bit dusky), but that she had Down Syndrome. It feels a lot like deja vu….a second daughter with Downs. You can read Ruby’s birth story here. Ruby is now six.

So here I am, once again in a hospital with a daughter plugged into all kinds of machinery. There are some differences, however. This little one has far better muscle tone, had a great birth to expel all of that lung fluid (Ruby was c-section), and she nurses better than many of my kids ever did. The downside of where we are, however, is that I’m considered a “visitor” and cannot have food in the room at all (it’s NICU; no one can), I have to walk halfway around the floor to get to a restroom, and there is no one here to take care of ME except my husband and whomever else happens to be visiting.

We are waiting for my baby to wean off of the oxygen and to maintain good blood sugar results. So far she is doing real well, and we covet your prayers to have her come home speedily. Please pray for me, too; healing here is more of a challenge and I am feeling it. My husband Tom is taking lots of notes, so be sure to subscribe to the podcast if you want to hear more when it comes out.

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Please join me in welcoming, celebrating, and praying for Poppy.

Blessings,

Past Due Date

November 6, 2014 6 Comments

Well, it’s no surprise to anyone, least of all to me, that I am past my due date to have Baby. When I started blogging in 2006, it was while I was awaiting another baby, past his due date as well. I ended up waiting for him 18 days. I hope not to have a repeat 😉

Once I got the house in a somewhat manageable state (“somewhat”) I turned my efforts to completing my Master Herbalist certificate. And after a lot of seemingly nonstop reading, exams, essays, book reports and protocols with both real and pretend people, I finally finished. Finally. It *only* took me about four years. Vintage Remedies is an excellent distance school for many areas in Natural Health, and now they’ve opened the Franklin Institute of Wellness for further professional development at a collegiate level (where my Clinical Master Herbalist program moved to).

And now that I’m finished with that, I’m a bit disoriented. Too many years of assignments and homework and now no one to tell me what’s next!

I guess having baby number 8 is next.

That, and, while I’m waiting, catching up with other hobbies and projects I enjoy. I’ve missed a lot of pages lately in my art journal, so I’m going back and trying out new techniques and a variety of art supplies.

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I’m picking up my handwork, too. I have lots of unfinished projects, so I’m just choosing one at a time and seeing if I can’t finish off a lot of them before starting anything new. That will take restraint! This one is a hand pieced quilt block.

I’m still listening to online lectures from various places while I work, however. I guess I’m hopeless that way; I love to learn.

Meanwhile, we had kittens in the garage. I’ve never dealt with kittens before, but I guess I didn’t think it would be any more difficult than baby rabbits, baby chickens, baby goats…

They *are* awfully cute. I still need to find homes for two of them. Takers?

Little by little, things are getting finished around here. Here is the baby blanket I wove. I find it *meh, ok*. I like the nubby cotton, but to me it ended up looking too much like a towel. Plus, it’s fairly lightweight, not the best for winter coming on. Maybe it WILL be a towel 🙂 In any case, I’m looking forward to wrapping up baby in it. C’mon out, Baby!

Do you find it hard to wait? Waiting isn’t wasted time, however. One book I am really, really enjoying is An Unhurried Life. That’s *exactly* what my goal in life is, to follow Jesus’ rhythms of work and rest, and to not feel like I’m accomplishing *nothing* or just being *lazy* when I meander or dawdle or do something *unproductive*. I so dislike the crazy busy hurry of our culture; I feel like we’ve lost SO much in it.

Besides, does it really matter if we finish things in our own timeframe? Do we really need to see the results of everything we endeavor to do? What if the results come later, after we’re gone? What if this patch ends up in my great-granddaughter’s artwork of fabric and thread somehow? Was it a waste then to just complete one?

So that is where I am right now. Just waiting. Waiting for Baby. And enjoying the rest that the Lord has given to me in this time, in this season, with no real pressing deadlines or agenda. The squares on the calendar are full of white blanks. I’m sort of enjoying it that way.

Blessings,

Downsizing Our Home, Upsizing Our Family, Part 4

October 29, 2014 4 Comments

The adventures continue! This is half of the very large willow tree that gave our front yard such ample shade this last summer. It came down during the night during a wind storm, and we were all very, very thankful it didn’t fall upon the house. It did break another tree, however, one with really pretty tropical looking flowers. I’m sad to see such lovely landscaping come to such disaster. And the two days we spent without electricity because of it wasn’t too fun, either.

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It is in the midst of such things that we are attempting to get our house(S) in order. HouseS?? Yes. In this podcast, my husband shares about all of the different houses we are slowly putting into order, by God’s grace. They are:

the physical house
the personal house
the family relationship house
the financial house
the spiritual house

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In other news, we are waiting anytime now for our baby to arrive, and I am preparing for that as well. Yesterday I made all kinds of postpartum and baby care herbal products. We have more to share with you all, but that will have to wait until after the baby is born.

Thanks for your support and for all of your blessings! I’m looking forward to settling in this winter and reconnecting with you all on a more regular basis.

Blessings,

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Settling In

October 9, 2014 6 Comments

I still feel like I’m running, but now it feels more like running out of time. I’m a few weeks away from babyhood showing up and I am still working on schoolwork deadlines (I’ll share more about that later). Meanwhile, we closed on our old house, which to be truthful felt a little disorienting but we are now able to return our attention to this little house and get it ready (we hope!) for winter. Here the tour continues with our main living space. Previously, we had a very large great room, plus a separate media room, plus an open loft. Now we just have this one room to gather in. No one gets to escape 🙂

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It looks a little cluttered when you first come in, but there is organization involved. The wood stove flanks the middle of the house, and to the left is the kitchen and to the right is the dining room. I cut the main living room into thirds, with one-third as an entry/fiber workshop.

Here is my little loom with space in the back for my spinning wheel and baskets of yarn and supplies. A note of interest…see all of the boards on the walls and ceiling? They are old growth timber, very hard and very long. One gentlemen remembered that when this house and the similar neighbor house was built, the men would go up into the mountains to bring back timber, and the women would mill it here on the property.

On the loom is a baby blanket I’m weaving. I expect it will take a couple more hours to finish.

Here is the other two-thirds of the room. I like that there is plenty of room for a lot of people to squeeze in; seating on the coach, piano bench, and chairs all around. All of our games and lap blankets are in the trunk (aka “foot rest”). The computer screen is currently where we watch movies; we hope to upgrade that computer and screen really soon. We don’t have a TV, cable, or consoles with video games. I honestly don’t know where we’d have time for any of that. I’d love to have a basket where visitors would turn in their cell phones while here, but I think folks would seriously freak out without them. It’s sort of sad, really. But I digress.

The chair in the corner is next to the corded phone. One of my passions is cultivating an uncluttered and relaxed life, so yes….sit your hiney down to talk on the phone and leave the multi-tasking behind. Plus, no one ever loses the phone. Plus, it will still work if/when the power goes out (common here in the PNW). Plus, it cuts down on all of the radiation traveling all over the place. Here’s a short article about that sort of thing.

This is the view from the corner chair. After the kids have cleaned up and I chased them outside so I can take pictures 🙂

Toys are here and there, just like in our last home. These are *family* rooms, so you’ll find toddler puzzles, blocks, and other toys all around nicely put into baskets. Our babies can easily play here, and it also makes visitors with children more comfortable. No one has to disappear into other unseen rooms for toys. You can see and hear more about how I organize toys here.

This little table used to be my desk (I’ll show you what I’m using now later). This will be our puzzle table, another place to hang out. Our violins (and viola) are on the wall, along with most of our DVDs. The basket under the table is full of magazines I like and a bunch of library books. If you noticed the cord running down the stars, that’s because we still don’t have power upstairs as we finish up the second bedroom.

There are lots of nooks and crannies for toys and books. We didn’t waste much space!

I think what makes a house a home is not only the people in it, but what you have around you. I like homemade and handcrafted things, old things that have history…which means–in a way–the people behind those things are also present. I’ve brought out the autumnal colored quilts I’ve made, along with other handwork pieces. I find slow work to be the best work.

In decorating, I also find it helpful to repeat things. For example, I happen to really like birds. There are a whole lot of birdhouses outside actually in use, but they are inside, too! I made room for this large cage; I just love it. Maybe someday when the children are gone and it’s too quiet, I’ll put canaries in it. Right now, however, I treasure the quiet when I can get it and the children like playing with the fake birdies in there.

This is my little spot for handwork and reading and just being with my family. Do you all have a little spot or two of your own?

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That’s all for now. Tom and I are planning a last podcast on this series of downsizing. My next few weeks will be busy with preparing (and hopefully blessedly having) a new baby, finishing my schoolwork, and completing the indoor work in the house. My “Big Plan” for winter is simply to lay fallow, spend time with my honey to dream and plan for our future, to enjoy the children and cooler weather and woodstove fires and just relax through the holidays. My winter will be, God willing, empty of deadlines and perhaps I can glean from Him more about what He meant when He promised His burdens were light. I hope you’ll join me in seeking that unhurried life.

Blessings,

Not in the Way You Might Desire

September 18, 2014 5 Comments

We’ve been talking as a family about how God always answers our prayers, but sometimes it’s “not in the way you might desire.” For example, a gentleman might pray for more time to spend with his family…and the Lord might allow him to face an injury that keeps him from going to work. In our family recently, the oven we had blew up. Well…not really “blew up” but the element died and the whole thing shorted with a loud pop and then smoke came billowing from the oven door and my 8 and 14yo sons stood as soldiers ready for fire with extinguishers in their hands watching it.

Me? I just started laughing, because at that very moment my husband was walking a gentlemen out the door who had just helped repair a hole in a water pipe in the bathroom. We’re playing “whack a mole” as my friend says.

I was a little (ok…a lot) disappointed because although a new oven was in my “someday” plan it wasn’t Today’s Plan. I didn’t want to buy a new oven. I wanted the old one to last so I could buy–after our old house closes–a small swing set for my kids. But I was resigned. After all, one does need to bake scones on occasion. And boil water for tea. So we prayed for an oven.

Well. Turned out my husband shared this with our secretary. Turned out she had one she didn’t need anymore. Turned out we could have it. For free. Today. So off we went to bring said oven home and let’s just say that my attitude wasn’t the stuff of Gratitude and Appreciation when I saw the condition of it. The secretary apologized for its filth…she hasn’t used it in a year, and so it was needing a little TLC. I said it needed a blow torch to get it clean. And so there I was in all my Flaws (aka “sins”) murmuring about a FREE.STINKIN.WORKING.OVEN. And if that wasn’t enough, my dear children reminded me of the lesson I had expounded just days before about how “God answers prayers, but not always in the way you might desire”. Yes, your children will quote you someday if they haven’t begun already. Sometimes my Lord pokes at me like that. And then I sheepishly get on with life and buy oven cleaner.

My house is still a disaster. It feels like one of the square plastic puzzles where one room is finished, but in order to finish another room, that unfinished room needs to be emptied into the “finished” room and once again we deal with piles of boxes, clothing, books, STUFF cluttering up the hallways, floors and corners. I keep lamenting to my whack-a-mole friend (yes, she’s that pithy on a regular basis) that “I just want my house in orrrrrderrrrrrr….” And she just snaps back each time with a smile and, “You will.” I think at this point I’ll just start testing my theory that she will always say that. But don’t tell her that. I might just need to hear it regularly and often.

So, today I figured I needed to look past the Mess (capital M) and find some good in the nooks and crannies. I really do love this house; I love its flaws and even the projects we need to do. But it’s sure going to feel awesome to see my floors again and rest my eyes on orderly countertops. Here are some glimpses of the good things I need to think on instead. Cameras are good for that, you know.

Grapes are coming in along the fence lines. I’ve never grown grapes before; we hardly know when it’s ripe to pick. But what a lovely fruit to come into season at just this time, as the blackberries are fading in another summer’s memory. I’m reminded that as often as I lament my lack of a garden this year (I never claimed not to be a whiner), the Lord still saw fit to provide a harvest I didn’t plan on. Isn’t He good? Yes and amen and hallelujah thank you Jesus.

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And, nope, not tired of our backyard mountain view yet. You’ll probably get a bazillion pictures of that over time 🙂 Nothing messy about this view!

We got two cords of wood delivered from a very nice gentleman and although I know we’ll need more, I have to say it feels really good to have the woodpile at least started. It feels better to me than money in the bank (which is a good thing if you know what I mean!). Just like having food growing, my children around me, and a roof over my head. Running water. Olive oil. Music. Make your own list 🙂

The kitty feels right at home. Having a kitty makes a home more homey, methinks. She’s not real bothered by the mess, either.

My children continue to bring in little flowers from here and there and pop them into jars on windowsills or dresser drawers or tables. I don’t know what I like more: the flowers themselves, or the fact that my children pick them to share with me. Probably the latter 🙂

My eldest daughter has taken on some chores on her own, like the laundry. She loves to hang them outside. I don’t blame her; it’s a nice, meditative work–in the sunshine and fresh air. She’s doing some sewing, too…like making these curtains for the bathroom out of extra shower curtain fabric. I think they’re so pretty.

I’m almost finished weaving a baby blanket. It’s a soft and nubby cotton with a ribbony blue trim on the edges. Sometimes I just gotta forget the call of the mess and just sit and weave. Or knit. Or doodle. And, yes, I missed a couple of threads in the reed, but the pattern is still good and the finished blanket will shrink a smidge and hide that spot well. So says the expert weaver I asked. Wish I could hide my own imperfections as easily as that.

The one thing I manage to do, other than prepare and eat three meals a day (that’s an accomplishment all on its own, don’t you think?), is make my bed every day. The rest of the house can look a mess, but if my bed is made, my eyes rest there instead of on the stuff I’m tripping over. I think everyone needs “the ONE chore” that makes for good feeling. Then, everything else is just frosting on the cake.

I really do want my house in order, but it is coming along. Just not in the timeframe I would desire (um…yesterday?). Instead, I feel the pressure of deadlines. Schoolwork to finish, winter to prepare for, a baby on the way. God knew it would be this way. He is teaching me and showing Himself in ways I would have missed otherwise. Maybe I didn’t–and don’t–desire the manner in which these prayers of mine have been and are being answered, but patience, experience, hope and strength are apparently more important to Him to cultivate in me than in my having a tidy home right now.

Blessings,

Downsized Dining Tour

September 9, 2014 4 Comments

First of all, thank you for not only the comments, but for the ones for my eyes only, and for the emails, and for snail mail. Sometimes I am really slow in responding, but, Lord willing, I will get there.

I’m not in the “nesting” stage yet but I sense it coming. I’m still hoping to get the house all put together before the baby comes, so I can just relax and enjoy the holidays. I’ve been working hard also to finish some online schoolwork; lots of reading, reports, exams. But, slowly, this house is coming together. And–praise God!–our other house is pending sale already to someone who loves it and, I feel, will take very good care of it.

Ready for a dining room tour? I enjoy sharing with you all; it keeps me going, one room at a time!

For reference, this was our dining room in the previous house. We had just put up the wood walls and it *finally* felt like what I was wanting. We also had a secondary dining area off the kitchen so in reality we had two large tables to use for ourselves and for guests. We also had a very large hutch built into the cabinetry with lots of doors and drawers. If you saw my last post on downsizing the kitchen, you saw where my “hutch” went.

And here is our dining room today–only one table. Ironically, I got the walls I really wanted–all OVER the house 🙂 Through the window there is the mudroom; you can see my baskets hanging off the ceiling (pics soon).

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I was so worried the house buyer would want my big chalkboard. It is real slate, given to me by a previous schoolteacher knowing that I was leaving the profession to homeschool my children. My husband made the frame. He also built in the bookcases and that is where we store a lot of our homeschooling books and dictionaries and so forth.

Looking in the other direction, to the left is the hall and to the right is the living room (pics soon!).

Little houses get short tours 🙂

I’m finding myself sitting or lying down more. I finally pulled out my handwork projects and started picking at them when I needed a break from physical activity or academics. I’m hoping to make this into a fabric book of my favorite things. I also need to start getting busy preparing for the baby; I enjoy making all of the herb teas and baths and powders and so forth.

What a crazy season it has been for me. There are days I am still in unbelief, that we really sold our house, that we really moved, that we downsized at the same time as upsizing our family with another baby (our 8th) on the way. I am almost finished earning a certificate as a master herbalist, and a book cover is in the works for Present. That’s been a slow process, also a season of just planting and watering and waiting. I’ve been ignoring the noise of creating a big “platform”, pushing for email sign ups, taking on advertising. It’s not who I am. Instead I am just trusting that whatever I do and whomever I am will just either bless or annoy; like Jesus, I crave hot and cold and dislike lukewarm. Maybe I am entering a season of being ok with that, of letting expectations and perfections and regrets go with the wind. I hope that in my life, I will bare much fruit, and, at the end, die and fly away knowing that my God was glorified in some way by it all. I’m sure looking forward to seeing our good Lord face to face; aren’t you?

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Thankful for the cross,

Downsized Kitchen Tour

September 1, 2014 11 Comments

Welcome to my new, downsized home. Not everything is in place, not every box is unpacked, and certainly not every room is finished (or even able to be moved into yet). But I thought I’d share with you the progress we’ve made, and how we’re living at the moment.

Would you like to see my kitchen? For comparison, this is the kitchen I left behind.

And here is where we are now. I had to (actually wanted to) get rid of a lot of extra kitchen things: extra dishes, bakeware, seldom used appliances, and a crazy amount of plasticware that I never did really like having anyway.

The mudroom door is to the right of the fridge. The milk bucket on the floor was from Tom’s stepfather’s dairy farm. We’ve hung up our aprons, and the top of the fridge is for the popcorn maker, extra-large mixing bowls, and a crate for supplements and tinctures. The kids are really enjoying having a magnetic fridge for pictures and drawings and so forth. Someday I will trade out this fridge for something that is *all* fridge; I really don’t need the freezer at all but could really use a larger fridge. My chest freezer is in the mudroom (pictures coming soon).

downsized kitchen

To the left of the fridge are open shelves, and a beautiful cabinet that a friend had in his garage. He even found the countertop for me (LOVE). Someday I am going to put cast iron pulls on the drawers. Notice the walls and ceiling; there are cracks everywhere and I love the texture it gives. We don’t really have to worry about dust on the open shelves because we’re constantly using these plates and things. That’s one of the beauties of simplifying–everything is used, loved, and out in the open to see and enjoy.

Turning to the left, more open shelving, plus tucked in the corner an open bookshelf where I keep a basket for measuring tools, the cheese grater, glass bakeware, and other frequently used things. Someday I would love to remodel and incorporate favorite furniture into a seamless countertop. Don’t we all have “someday” projects? I really like my sink (and yes, there are dishes in it). A sink skirt is due. I am on the hunt for a nice copper pendant to hang above the sink, but haven’t found one that I love yet.

To the left of the sink, we have the dish drainer. I haven’t missed the dishwasher at all. It’s just something else to maintain and fix and repair and replace. I don’t mind hand washing, and neither do the kids: it’s an opportunity to listen to our favorite shows and podcasts on the iPod in peace. On the left of that is Tom’s grandmother’s old kitchen fridge (LOVE), which I am using as a pantry. On top, there is a basket for coffee-making supplies, a basket of straws, hanging mugs, and of course my cookbooks. It may not look it, but I *did* downsize my cookbooks. The scale hanging to the left of all that…I actually use! You can see the living room from the kitchen opening…but I’ve blocked it to keep people from running through the kitchen. I like having the U-shape kitchen.

Ok, turning again. I have a metal red cart on wheels holding tools in crocks, a basket full of potholders, and on the bottom….water pictures and cups for kids. You can’t see them, but I also have jars of tea and a file full of cut-out recipes on that tray as well. The stove and oven work, but *someday* I will replace it for a larger oven with a see-through front and a bottom drawer that’s not broken. I hang all of my pots and pans (some are missing and either getting washed or holding soup in the fridge). All of my baking supplies and seasonings are on open shelves. I love that; it’s easy to see what I have and everything is easily accessible. The dark patch above is from a floor repair; it’s awaiting paint. Oh, and there’s no vent either…that will come *someday* as well.

Turning once again (my back is to the sink), there is a gorgeous table I found at a flea market. On it we keep our everyday utensils and a tray for salt, pepper, olive oil and vinegar. There is a shelf I pulled out of the garage that I use for teas and sweeteners. On that table is also where I steep my herbal infusions for the day, and where I like to sit to plan meals or eat a snack or top with cases of produce to can. Underneath, there is a stool and a step-ladder and a basket I use for storing potatoes and other root veggies to eat for the week. I’m not sure about the floors, but I think they are original to the house that the previous owner (house owner #2) refinished. LOVE them. You can see a peek of our dining area (pictures to come!).

Around the corner is another shelf for goods and sauces for the table. The big jar of rosemary is from my old house, waiting for me to get to, to root and plant somewhere here.

There are a lot of things I like about my kitchen. I like the openness for sure. I appreciate that I have running water, a fridge, food to eat and knowledge of how to prepare them. I also like the pottery jars, some I don’t even use, but I enjoy looking at them. I really have an appreciation for handmade goods.

I like having my utensils out in the open; these are a mix of stainless and real silver. I don’t get why anyone would store their silver and not use them. I’ve never polished them (they look fine) and at my old house, I even ran them through the dishwasher without any issues. My guess is that just like using cast iron pans transfers iron into your food, eating from silver has some medicinal benefits as well. So stop storing them in dark drawers; use them!

I like hanging my pans. It bugged me to no end to have to open drawers and whatnot to dig out a pan when I needed it in my old kitchen. I’m so glad I have a spot to hang pans again!

I also like cookbooks. Sometimes I’ll try to make an entire week of meals out of just one cookbook, to stretch my cooking skills and to try something new. My latest endeavor was baked clams. I was so proud of myself that it worked! And it was GOOD!

Open shelves aren’t just for everyday dishes. They’re also for those “fancy” dishes. I’ve given up hiding my “good” things to use for “special occasions”. Every night I have my entire family sitting around the dining table IS a special occasion. Someday these children will be grown and gone and my table will be more empty. I’m currently very happy to have a ton of plates that we all use.

I like making room for items that have a family history. I don’t care that it’s *old* or *used* or whatever; it reflects our heritage and I like to honor that by keeping things that are either tangible (like this fridge) or emotional (like the memory of my YiaYia’s hot chocolate made with goat’s milk). I’m thankful I had a happy childhood, and want to honor my husband’s history as well.

A question I ponder a lot these days is how much space I really need. The side by the oven is plenty for a stirring spoon, a bowl of prepped vegetables, a pot lid. I don’t really miss the miles of counterspace I previously had, but it IS true that I have to clean more often now. Ask me in a year how I feel about that.

Things are quirky in this house, and many projects need to be done. I’d like to replace the single paned (and cracked) windows, but in the meantime, I’m very grateful for them, for the light they bring, the sweet summer breezes coming through the removable screens, the beautiful views they give.

Some people focus on the cracks and projects to be done and challenges of living in a small house. Some people have nothing good to say at all. I choose to appreciate the opportunity and am hopeful that we can be happy here.

Blessings,

Downsizing Our Home, Upsizing Our Family: Part 3

August 19, 2014 5 Comments

Well, so much for my pretty scene at the pond! Tom and I heard the *crack crack….craaaaack…..* and then, enormous branches came crashing down, smashing the little maple I was so looking forward to watching blaze with autumnal colors. Other branches around the property have come down, too. Free firewood?

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It’s starting to feel more like home and less like camping, even as I figure out ways to expand my countertop space to do some canning. Some folks feel sorry for us. I guess my expectations of what a real home is made of aren’t as high. I put higher value into things like honoring the Lord, loving one another, and gratitude for faucets that give clean, hot water. You could practice honor, love, and gratitude in a yurt (and people do!). Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

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I continue to enjoy the interesting landscaping, and take so much pleasure in it! It helps offset the disappointment of not having a food garden this year. Here are the flowers blooming at the tips of the branches of another tree. A whole tree with tropical looking flowers!

We continue to work on the house, especially the bedrooms upstairs. It’s goes slowly; we still have to upkeep our old home on the market, and we can only work as time and funds are available (just like anyone else!). How do you like our outdoor shop? Pleasant summer sunshine and breeze…hard to beat!

The good news in everything, always, is that the Lord has not forgotten nor forsaken us 🙂 Give an ear to the update and if He so leads, we continue to appreciate and are humbled by your prayers on our behalf.

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view from our backyard

To listen to Pastor Houston’s broadcast that Tom hosted, click here: Walking With Your Sons on the Journey to Manhood.

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On Waiting…

July 31, 2014 3 Comments

A month in, and I’m finally to the point of settling into the bottom portion of the house. The upstairs is still in progress, but it’s a slow process. Little by little, as my neighbor reminds us.

I’m finally back into my art journal, and enjoying seeing all of my art supplies at hand again. There is no shortage of beautiful flowers and birds nearby to capture onto paper. I’ve been waiting to get my own little spot back, for art and study and writing.

Twenty-five pounds of green beans were snapped while sitting on the rocker out front, watching my children play and my husband cut wood for the upstairs bedrooms. It was altogether the most pleasant experience, the warm air and sweet breeze winding through the shade of trees. I’ve been waiting to get my kitchen in enough order to start thinking about restocking my pantry.

The reed has been sleyed (that’s so much fun to say) so I’m getting ready to draw the cotton threads through the heddles and finish the warp. I want to weave a sweet baby blanket, and I have some yummy nubby cotton for the weft. I’ve been waiting to organize and get my handwork supplies out, putting baskets here and there to pick up mending or creating.

Outside, everything is as beautiful as ever. I think I fell in love with the outside before even seeing the inside of the house. And once I saw the inside, well….here we are, by God’s grace. I’m so enjoying the flowers popping up and I feel like a kid….“oooo…what’s that….hm…that’s so interesting…wonder what that will do….”

I’m still waiting to have a kitchen garden again–I’m hoping in the spring. We’ll see how soon we can get the outside work done, once the inside is finished.

The children are waiting for normalcy. Bedrooms are still in complete disarray, and no one really has their own quiet spot other than me. But I started homeschooling again, giving diagnostic spelling tests and reviewing where each one was and planning out the roadmap for the year. We made and played with tangrams together, and enjoyed the small scent of routine coming back into the home. We’ve been waiting for routine.

Ruby had the best time with the fingerpaints. And she was so excited to see her little readers again, and insisted on sitting with me to read each one. I was amazed; she really has memorized a lot of sight words already. Ruby–reading? I’ve been waiting for a little encouragement on that front.

And then….and then the septic went kafritz. Meaning, something in the pump or whateveryouhaveit stopped working. We finally had to stop using the drains altogether and make other arrangements for doing laundry, washing dishes, taking a bath and using the toilet. Let me give a shout out to Survival Mom, who helped me be prepared for that. It’s not fun to be without a septic system, but I will tell you that not being prepared at all would have been less fun. I can see I still have holes in that to work on…washing tubs would be helpful for dishes, and a laundry plunger for hand washing. I’m also thankful for my friend who let me take over her facilities! This is our fifth day dealing with this, and hopefully it finally ends this evening with a repair. Didn’t know I’d been waiting for a kick to the hiney to get even better prepared for disasters and trouble.

Well, I’m certainly not leaving you with a photo of our dirty dishes. Here is the pond I can see right outside my kitchen window. The building you see on the left there is the garage and utility room. My three ducks have been enjoying this pond very much, and it seems that the additional circulation they give to it does it some good. I like to sit in that chair and just watch the ducks, the frogs, the insects.

Tom says I’m not just making a home here, but it feels like I’ve “come home”. I think so, too. I feel very comfortable here, even with all of the trial of downsizing and moving and just plain making things do for the time being. I’m looking forward to getting the rest of the house into order, the woodpile stocked for winter, the garden beds weeded and mulched, and our daily routines into habit. I have faith that it will come, “little by little”. And that, in the end, it all will have been worth all of the waiting.

Blessings,

On Being Present

July 22, 2014 8 Comments

I just had to share this video. How much do we depend on social media or the internet to connect or build a relationship with someone?

Most of the time, it seems using social media to build relationships is not really about building relationships at all. It’s simply a way to get out what information you want to be known, without taking the risks that are inherent any time you deal with anyone face to face–what if they have a question, what if they want to know more than you’re sharing, what if they have their own stuff to share with you? It’s a way to hide behind a screen (read any nasty comments lately?), save time, multi-task, and share with everyone at once without really sharing life with anyone in particular. It’s far more difficult to pull up a chair, look someone in the eye, and open yourself to another human being and gift them your–hopefully undistracted–time and attention. We don’t even stop to be tethered on the telephone anymore–remember the days when you *had* to sit to talk on the telephone, tied to the wall by a cord, before wireless? Technology definitely has its place in extraordinary circumstances (I’m happy for military families having Skype!), but let’s not fool ourselves over what all of that has taken the place of in the normal everydayness of life.

I’m glad the daddy in this video didn’t just prop up the phone in the crib and leave. But don’t we all do that sometimes, just prop up the kid(s)–or ourselves–with a device in order to avoid the pain and suffering of–um–parenting? Guilty as charged…our DVDs have been playing almost daily during our crazy moving time! Sometimes I think using this stuff is all about avoidance…not “connecting”.

What’s the balance? I dunno. I’m not even sure “balance” is something worthy to be sought after, unless what we’re trying to incorporate into our lives is worthy of that which it necessarily replaces. Easier? Sure. More profound? Seriously doubtful.

Could you (could I?) live without the internet for a week? A month? A year? Many of us would balk even for a day. Would you–would I–even allow the luxury of pondering and thinking slow thoughts and reading a few books to dog-ear and chatting with someone in private and…I know, this is almost unthinkable…spending any time at all being BORED? What would we lose? What would we gain?

Currently, I’m writing this while being distracted by the bats flying around outside of my window. Or is it the other way around? Is my being present in this time and space and place being distracted by the glow of the screen?

Questions and stuff to ponder. Hopefully by choice. In (ahem) our “spare time”…if that exists anymore.

Sneak Downsizing Peeks #2

July 22, 2014 3 Comments

Slowly, slowly…slowly…it is coming together. Boxes are moving out of the house, and shelves are going up. I’m going to spare you the corners that still have stuff all over the floor waiting for more shelving and hooks, and share some more peeks with you. Oh, and the entire upstairs hasn’t even begun to get unpacked yet–we still have work to do on the walls and ceiling and paint and floors. BUT….now that our big house is finally LISTED (woo hoo!) we can turn more of our attention to our current house.

We got the back pasture finally mowed (and mowed….and mowed…it was a lot!), and spent an afternoon butchering our meat hens. Our layers are parked in our old chicken tractor for the time being, until we can renovate the existing coop and put up some fencing. Who knows when we’ll get around to that?

What you don’t see in the distance over those little hills is the very large mountain behind it, hiding behind cloud cover. Our view is pretty spectacular. It’s very different from living in the woods! I liked the woods, too, but this is a very nice change 🙂

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A friend of ours filled our freezer a bit with some fish he had caught; what a blessing that has been! It’s been very nice to eat outside this summer as the kitchen gets itself in order.

The cherries we’ve been picking (and then buying!) have been a happy addition to our diet. I just love locally grown food, don’t you?

Speaking of things already growing here, we’ve been watching the grapes grow. I can’t remember ever eating a fresh grape right off the vine. I hope that whoever buys our other home will be just as blessed with the food already growing there.

Inside, things continue to be unpacked and sorted, and even more given away. It’s hard to give away that set of creme brûlée dishes! Yes, I used them *maybe* once a year…but I did enjoy and use them. But, in the end, I use my crockpot more, so that’s what gets the space. It is interesting, however, how stubbornly I cling to things that I just plain love and find beautiful; I’m definitely not a minimalist. Nothing on this mantle is “necessary”, but my husband’s grandma gave me the one white pitcher on the right. She insisted I choose things from her home to keep before she died. This was all I wanted, and she gave it to me that very day with the biggest kiss. So…some things never end up in the pile to go away. Downsizing REALLY makes you reassess everything.

I have many baskets, and I’ve made a few myself, too. I find them useful and do use them–not a whole lot ended up at the yard sale! Doesn’t this look cool in my mudroom? My husband did it, and I love the wire hooks he made. I can use this rack to hang lots of herbs to dry next summer, and won’t THAT look and smell awesome? Or, in winter, I could take the whole thing down and use for drying the wash by the woodstove. His other upcoming project is to build me an apothecary for my herbs–I can’t wait to see how that’s going to look!

Another thing I love….my cookbooks! So fun to unpack and see again. Three whole shelves full, and that WAS a downsize! It’s nice to have them in view again, and the mugs and cups hanging ready for hot drinks. My kitchen is small and compact (pictures coming!), but I still like to create yummies for the people I love.

My quiet spot–my desk–is almost in order, where I can write, art journal, continue my herbal studies and keep up with my letters. And blog. Do you have your own quiet spot? I have a chair in the living room I like to sit in also, to do handwork. Things seem to get more calm with me as my own spaces get into order. I’m sure it will be the same for my children upstairs as well, when that comes.

The loom is set up (happy!) and I’ve begun a new warp for a baby blanket. Why not? I’ve already watched the first few leaves fall from the trees and can smell autumn coming. There is no garden for me to tend right now, so it’s as good a reason as any to begin thinking of those indoor handwork projects.Otherwise, when do I find time? I suppose it depends on how you define “time”. To me, taking 15 minutes is better than nothing at all, and most of my projects are done in just that way: here a little, there a little. One row of knitting is better than none, etc.

We kept one room downstairs for a sewing/crafting room, rather than a nursery. So, the toddlers are upstairs with everyone else, and this room is slowly coming together.

That’s all for now! If you’re praying (and thank you if you are!), please pray for our other home to sell quick. We’re learning a lot in this process, and I’m looking forward to sharing more soon.

Blessings,

Sneak Downsizing Peeks

July 11, 2014 5 Comments

Discovering fruit already here on the land (cherries!)…

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And harvesting foods grown here naturally…

Finding ways to make do with less counter space…

And choosing when and how to use our resources…

Creating vertical and horizontal places for storage…

And finally taking some time to rest…

Blessed.

Downsizing Our Home…Upsizing Our Family…Part 2

July 9, 2014 2 Comments

moving day

Good-bye Big House

Over a week later, I *finally* have internet. I must say, though, the world didn’t come to an end without a connection. This past week has been STRESSFUL..I suppose I will be glad I didn’t have the internet distraction to make it worse. Lots and lots of unpacking, finding where to put things, trying to chase after two toddlers, while getting all the bigger and all the slower-er. AND while trying to go back to the old house–a 45 minute drive each way–to do all of those things to get it ready for listing. I will freely (and sadly) admit that my patience has worn thin and I have NOT been the pretty picture of patience and grace every moment of every day. Thankfully, when one of us is falling apart, there are plenty of others in our family to pick up and carry on.

Sorry this is short, but I just wanted to post another podcast update. I have much more to share, but time IS short these days (did I mention we just had in-laws visiting, too?).

Thank you for your prayers and comments! And–yes–we were really tired!

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Hello, Little House

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Downsizing Our Home…Upsizing Our Family

June 30, 2014 12 Comments

Well, today’s the big MOVE! The big yellow rental van will be here in about two hours, along with a group of friends. Last night my husband and I recorded our last podcast in the primo studio, and talked about what we’re doing, and why. Hopefully you’ll get that we’re very real people, with mistakes, plans, and hopes. Thanks for listening!

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Blessings,

What If…(on Downsizing)

June 27, 2014 10 Comments

I have a large slice of chocolate cake and a glass of milk next to my computer. I picked up the cake this afternoon from one of our local cafes, after I picked up the easy (read: conventional store-bought) meals to feed my family for the next few days. I’m sitting at the bar in my kitchen, looking out at counters topped with grocery sacks, bowls, odd pans and utensils and jars (still more jars!) and crumpled up papers of garbage and paper towels and of course–as usual–the various pieces of legos. My kitchen smells like tallow because that was the last of my freezer, and it’s in the crockpot rendering. It’s not the most pleasant smell. On floors everywhere are piles and piles of boxes: standard moving boxes, grocery boxes, paper boxes, diaper boxes….all full of a crazy amount of *things* that I think I’m actually going to find room for in my smaller house.

Because, after all, I can’t get rid of the waffle maker we rarely (but delicously) use. Nor the dozens of seasonings or a library of cookbooks (heresy, that!). But…oh….I look at all of the boxes and can’t even see how the boxes themselves will fit onto the FLOOR of my house. And this, after massive decluttering, selling, giving away. Methinks I need to redefine what a “massive” decluttering means.

The reality is this. Once in the house, I will try to put things away and very, very soon (day one, I’m sure) it will become very, very clear what are the most important things to have. A set of dishes? Yes. Four sets? Um…no. Four little plastic toddler cups for mine and their pals? Sure. Fourteen? No.

And I know the struggle that will occur. But what if I need them later? What if my kids want to inherit them? What if the internet goes down forever and most of my books are gone? What if a family of sixteen comes to stay the night and I don’t have enough towels for them all? What if, what if, what if…

The previous owner left a mug for me. On one side, it says “What if…?”

On the other side, it says, I have set the LORD always before me… (Ps 16:8)

I think that’s the answer to the “what if”s. If it’s not, then the only other option is to be anxious, fearful, worried, and too tight-fisted with the things (and they are things) of this world.

As I look around at the incredible amount of boxes I have packed, both in the garage and in the house, I see clearly that I have so much more to learn about what it means to walk lightly. Debt is not the only burden; too many things to buy, take care of, insure, dust and repair are. It’s one thing to love the house you’re in, and what you have. It’s another to enslave our lives to it all, working hard to pay the bills or to spend all of our time to keep those things in order. Clearly I get the *idea* of this. But the execution? Well….I have a lotta lotta boxes packed around here….

We are moving in two days. That means only two more nights of sleeping in our McMansion, with its double washer/dryer set, four toilets, fourteen exterior doors and radiant heat floors. We’ll have to learn how to use one washer/dryer, cook in a very small kitchen, maintain a wood stove for heat, and use one bathroom for the 9 (almost 10) of us. Neither my husband nor I have any sense of false bravado that we can “just do it”. It’s a leap of faith.

It’s also a little overwhelming. But I wonder if….what if….I’ll actually get the chance to always–always–set the Lord before me? Maybe I’ll have more need of Him when the woodpile is low or rain threatens my clothes on the line or children are underfoot (because…where else are they going to go?). Maybe as the bills dwindle, the dependence on the car wanes, and our big entertainment becomes sitting on the porch watching the stars…maybe we’ll actually have more of a LIFE.

I really have no idea how this is all going to work out. But as I hand the keys to our realtor next week and wake up in my rustic bungalow, I think much work in my heart will begin to be done, about what is real, what matters. Even if He does let me keep the waffle maker.

Blessings,

Downsizing into the Bungalow

June 25, 2014 1 Comment

Work continues in the little 1951 bungalow. Tools are everywhere, dust is abundant, paint splotches are spotted on the floors and lots of people are using their time and tools to help us make the transition. It’s not a small thing, *just* time and tools. Most folks have to travel as we do, 45 minutes or more to the house…and then of course another 45 minutes to return home. It’s all a beautiful labor of love. Friends and family have helped with monetary gifts as well; always, it seems, right when we are running on empty and supplies are still needed. We do, after all, have to maintain our current house (and its bills) while we get it ready for market. We are stretched, to say the least!

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Insulation and walls are now finished in the two upstairs attic bedrooms. We added a skylight that opens to each room, too; what a difference that made in temperature and light! A group of men both young and old spent a good 12 hours to get those two rooms finished in one day. It was amazing. We ate a good rib supper that night (before they headed back to work!).

Painting has been a slow process, but it’s getting finished. The last time we were there we looked at our primed and painted walls and after some hemming and hawing decided that, yes, we needed yet *another* coat. So back to the brushes we went. One of my friends that happens to live in the town we’re moving to (only 3/4 mile away!) has spent every spare moment she has, painting, painting, painting. I owe all of my friends whole truckloads of chocolate.

At my current house, I continue to plug along, not quite waddling yet but in the 21st baby-to-be week already. The final packing is getting finished, the plates and pots and pans getting tucked into boxes. I’ve reserved the big rental truck for Monday. MONDAY!

Meanwhile, we’ve been picking and eating strawberries and cherries, and harvesting garlic. I cut down a lot of Greek oregano and got a good half gallon of dehydrated seasoning to use. There isn’t much else to harvest; I haven’t planted anything. But the perennials–herbs and fruit–are always the faithful mainstays and I’m grateful to enjoy them while I can.

I’ve also harvested for my facial products, rose, calendula, borage and lavender. So very pretty. I’ve already infused them into a grapeseed/almond/azulene oil mix, and now just need to finish it with some beeswax and whatever else I want to add. Thinking about a bit of rose water and carrot seed essential oil, and then making a nice little cream with it. I can’t wait until next spring, to work in and plant my new garden. I have goals of duplicating and expanding my herb garden, and growing for dyes as well. There is space and sunshine for a good 1/4 acre gardening plot as well. I’ll be spending my winter dreaming up my plans, managing outbuilding and fencing repairs, and hunting down my next goat kids as well.

The rest of this year, however, I’ve given up the trowel and given myself to the move, the subsequent nesting, and of course the baby upcoming. I hope to continue to blog, to finish my current herbal studies, and–yes–to find that book cover for Present. One step at a time, yes?

Blessings, and thank you for checking in!

Downsizing Progress

June 14, 2014 2 Comments

What’s going on at the house(s)? Well, quite a bit.

Today in our current house, we were blessed with eight friends that showed up to form teams and cleaned all of the hundred-and-fifty-whatever windows we have. I made a taco lunch for everyone, and wished more than once I could grab a camera. But sometimes life moves too fast to stop and take a photograph, know what I mean? I was too busy living IN the moment to step OUT of it to record it.

The rest of this week will be busy with carpet cleaning, housecleaning, staging and professional photographs for the listing. Hopefully what I won’t be doing is annoying my children with constant, “Don’t touch the window….don’t make a mess…don’t move that perfectly placed pillow arrangement….”

We are trying to get moved into the new, smaller house. I’m expecting there will be a lot to do once we’re moved in, but the main things need to get done beforehand. We decided to put in skylights (that open) into the attic bedrooms, both for temperature control, and for light. That was a very good choice, as already we can see–and feel–a difference.

A lot of priming and painting is going on, all 1632 square feet. And see this checked floor that is in the main room? It tested positive for asbestos, and we decided to have it all removed with the *hope* that removing the glue underneath won’t damage the fir wood floors to smithereens. It was either remove it all, or cover it with carpet. Please, no. Please no more wall-to-wall carpets. So this week the floor gets removed, and then we shall see what can–or can’t–be salvaged.

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This is the primer that we’re using on the walls and ceiling. The wood soaks quite a bit of it up but the finish is outstanding, and makes applying the top paint incredibly easy. The odor is very faint, and not really bothersome to me at all. All of us that are using it like the coverage.

I have to admit feeling, at first, a bit guilty covering up all of this gorgeous original wood with paint. But once the primer went on, the house just looked BIGGER. And once the first coat of paint went on, the house looked BRIGHTER. And–face it–in the Pacific Northwest I need all of the light I can get. Besides, I’ve pinned enough pictures on Pinterest of old farmhouses with sweet whitewashed walls to know that I really do like the look.

The paint color we all unanimously agreed upon was Benjamin Moore’s Simply White. At first I thought it would be too stark, too sterile. I spent wayyyyyy too much time on Google and in angst over picking the “Right White”. Taping large paint sheets onto the walls didn’t help at all. What finally helped was buying four samples and actually painting them onto the wall in large 3×3 squares. I’m now convinced that nothing is better for decision-making than doing that. The whites I was so sure of either disappeared or looked muddy or just plain wrong. Furthermore, every friend there chose the same white as the right white for the house once they could all see it painted for real and not just on paper. When I learned it was Simply White, I was surprised…but even now as the color goes up it just looks yummy and perfect. Lesson learned: BUY SAMPLES!

While the painting goes on downstairs–and even when I can’t be there like today, my friends are–upstairs the attic is getting turned into two good-sized bedrooms. Here the vent thingies (yep, that’s what I’m calling them) are going up, before the insulation. Then drywall and fire taping will go up, and then we’ll be cutting luan boards into strips to cover the drywall, to keep the same look as the wood downstairs. It will look like what we did with our dining room wall (scroll down to see a photograph). All of the upstairs will be painted, too.

I was hoping to finish the small house before listing our current one, but it looks like there will be some overlap. So soon enough I will be dealing with showings and in the midst of it all, trying to remain pleasant while keeping it *showable*.

Oh, and also this week, I am getting our 20 week ultrasound done. I can’t believe we’re halfway through this pregnancy.

Blessings,

Look Up

June 12, 2014 Leave a Comment

In my mind, I am writing many blogs, updating progress as we go.

In my mind, I am taking photographs, uploading and sharing them with you.

In reality, however, I am burning out, rarely home, and very tired. I miss my routines, my quiet, my time to write and work on handwork. In the midst of this pregnancy, when I desire to build up a nest, I am packing it all up…and getting ready to move into a *potential* nest.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement people send. Even tonight, my husband came home and shared how a patient of his wistfully told him that in the time they lived with less, their family really had much “more”. I am hoping by faith that this will be true for us, too.

Have you all seen this one yet? It is worth sharing. I’ve often wondered how horrible it would really be if I gave up having an email address (I know…unthinkable, right?). I’m sure no one near to me will be really surprised if I chuck the computer someday. In the midst of wondering this week how to manage screen time with my children, one of our technological tools (toys?) broke. I admit being partly relieved. Yes, go outside and learn how to play with sticks and rocks and dump trucks and dolls instead. For hours. With real friends. Somehow I think you might end up smarter, healthier and happier for having done so.

Blessings,

More Downsizing the Kitchen…and Closet

June 5, 2014 7 Comments

After spending some time yesterday in my new kitchen, I decided that what I had to do was come up with a plan. I did the same thing when we were building our current house, and I even labeled (on paper drawings) drawers and cabinets with *exactly* what was going to go where. Last night I opened my current cabinets and took a good look around and asked myself: WHERE were these particular things going to go?

toddler plates and cups

tea and coffee goods

glasses and mugs

wraps and jar lids

dishware

mixing bowls

cookbooks

baking goods

vitamins and tinctures

seasonings

utensils

napkins and aprons

paper goods

pantry foods

herbs and supplies

pots and pans

small appliances

table linens

special dinnerware

cookie cutters & other rarely used tools

Once I had that list, the kitchen became much easier to visualize. Oh, those will go on the open shelving on that wall…I’ll be hanging those up in that spot…these could go in the hall closet…I could put my sweet dresser in that spot and use those drawers….

I’ll be priming for paint soon, so keep visiting for updates. I’m currently pulling my hair out trying to pick “The Right White Paint”. Oy.

Here’s a picture of my current master bedroom closet; it’s a roomy walk-in, with rods on both sides and a place to dress. Yes, those are all my clothes. I hate shopping and practically only go when my girlfriends drag me and promise me fancy $5 coffee drinks while we’re out.

closetnow

Annnnnnnd this is the closet we’ll be moving into. Yes, that is it. That one rod on the wall. Bet you can’t wait to see what I come up with! (Me, too!)

Oh, and lastly, here is a blog that a thoughtful reader sent to me. I found it totally inspiring! Five people living in beautiful 655 square feet.

Blessings,

Downsizing the Kitchen

June 3, 2014 11 Comments

As many of you know, we are downsizing our living space from 3800 square feet (not including the basement and attic) to under 1700 (no basement nor attic). We’ve been wanting to podcast some of the craziness going on, but honestly we are falling asleep practically at supper time. Today we spent the day at the new house working with an electrician to get things up to code, and while there I contemplated the kitchen.

This is my kitchen now. For a whole lot of other very pretty pictures, you can look here.

kitchen16

And this is where I’m going. And, yes, this is the whole kitchen. And, no, there are no cabinets. I think I counted nine drawers. And do you see those two little counters on each side of the sink? That’s my counter space.

kitchen

I don’t know how it is all going to work, but I do have some ideas. I’ve decluttered and garage sale-ed and Goodwill-ed much out of my current kitchen. And I’m sure I’m still going to sit in the middle of this room with boxes everywhere wondering what I was thinking when I thought I could make those things fit. And there will be more decluttering and garage-saling and Goodwilling.

What’s been encouraging is hearing from people living in smaller spaces with even more people than us. One of my favorite encouragements was from a friend early on in the process; she said something like, “You could make a cardboard box look good.” 🙂

Well, I’m thankful I’m not in a cardboard box (and, unfortunately, there are people who are…). I think that what you really see in that second picture and what you think about it is dependent upon your view of a whole lot of things.

What do I see, besides the nine drawers and small counter space?

I see walls and a ceiling and a hardwood floor. I see a well-built home made out of lumber milled by the original builder. I see running water, electric power, appliances, and a window above the sink so I can watch the frogs at the pond while I wash dishes.

In downsizing, I see an opportunity to live mortgage-free. I see challenges to rise up to and problems that will need creative solutions. And I see potential in this little house and what it could do for us.

Have you ever thought about downsizing? I’ll share more soon!

What I’m Learning from Our Caterpillar Infestation

June 2, 2014 Leave a Comment

It’s a caterpillar year here. That means there are caterpillars everywhere. On fruit trees. On alder trees. On porches. Climbing up screened windows. Hitching rides onto people. Crawling about indoors.

I can’t help but think of the frog infestation of the Old Testament. In gardens. In homes. In beds, ovens and–truly more so–everywhere. I’m sure this caterpillar year is nothing like it at all.

A lady at my garage sale exclaimed to her son, “Oh! Don’t smoosh it!” as one of these things was cruising along the cement. “Just toss it aside into the bushes.”

Yes, just toss it aside. Because one more or one less really won’t make a difference.

There are still plenty more to eat my strawberry plants.

And my apple trees.

They’re good caterpillars, don’t you know. Just doing their natural caterpillar thing. I’m sure they’re doing some good, maybe turning up the soil or…um…pruning excess fruit baring branches. And whole trees.

In the evenings I spend about an hour picking them off the treasures that I really do care about, the ones I planted, the ones I’ve been watering and feeding and tending to.

But what I want is the fruit off my plants, and these caterpillars are destroying my garden! I’m not willing, however, to deprive them of their food source by cutting down my garden. So the poor plants will have to suffer a while. I tell them not to worry, that relief will come soon. I hope they’re listening.

Because good caterpillars doing their caterpillar-y thing aren’t really doing good things around here. And what I want out of my garden is fruit. And what my plants want is to bare is fruit.

So I carefully pick until the end comes. And I know the end WILL come. Here’s a boxful in the fire pit.

Yes, it seems like I’m fighting a losing battle. But I trust that soon their end will come, and that all things–foliage for starters–will be renewed.

And I shall enjoy the fruit.

Leather Journals, Basketry, Weaving and More Beginner Art Journaling

May 26, 2014 8 Comments

Well, the vast majority of the packing is finished and boxes are piled into the garage. The basement is crazy overflowing with garage sale goods and now I am just waiting on other people: painters, window washers, carpet cleaners… There is nothing for me to do now but to wait during this lull before listing the house and keeping everything show-ready. I guess I get to put my feet up a bit now.

See the baby bump? It never takes long for that to pop out for me. Only 17 weeks along and already a magnet for people’s hands. I don’t mind. I mostly mind just how ugly I feel. Yeah, I get it…pregnancy is beautiful and I’m just glowing blah blah blah…but I’m only in it for the baby at the end of it. If I could hide for 10 months I would.

Anyhow. I finished sewing together my leather journals. I always wanted a leather journal, but didn’t ever think of making my own. Oh, these smell delicious. I just love to touch them! Part of me wants to give one away as a gift, the other part of me doesn’t know anyone who has pined for a leather journal like I have.

I have zero idea what I’m going to do in it. Right now I’m enjoying holding them!

I’m trying to get ready for my dinky new kitchen and how I’m going to go from dozens of drawers to only eight. Open shelving will be a must; there are no cabinets at all (yes, you read that right). I’ve measured some shelves and decided to make some baskets to use as “drawers” on them. This was my first shot and I was unhappy with the number of stakes I chose to use, so quit when I was only halfway up. However, it will make a good basket for a casserole dish once I add some handles (wrapping underneath the bottom for extra strength). I’m blessed to have a friend that likes to make baskets and so we just sat out in the sunshine and did just that one afternoon. I have a pile of reed ready to start making more. Once it stops raining.

I did finish my first set of kitchen towels and got the loom all packed up. Thinking of moving that loom with a project still on it was stressing me out so I spent any extra time I had to crank out these weavings. I’m pleased with the results!

I had some little scraps at the end and tried a different weave. I didn’t bother hemming those scraps–just used the serger. They’ll make good dishcloths.

Speaking of creative endeavors, I’m still art journaling. I thought I’d share some of the ideas I’ve done in case you’d like to try some out. My journal uses a date planner as a base, and I learned how to do that via a class I took with Gina: No Excuses Art. She now has a book out with all of the great information to get anyone started.

The main idea is to use the date in the planner to put in the weather, a color, a sketch, and a word of the day. If you have the ability, you can add photos from the week (I don’t have a printer that can do that). Oh, and to do a little watercolor once a week. Sometimes I follow those directions. Other times…well…

Here you can see I didn’t sketch at all during the week, but I glued in some papers I liked from magazines and whatnot. On the right is a page I applied a medium to prepare it for watercolor (oy…pregnancy brain drain…can’t remember what that was…it’s packed…)…but I never really did watercolor there. I did a couple of drawings and then drew a map from memory of a childhood neighborhood.

On these pages I glued in papers and washi tape and did some stamping of my trip to Portland. The page on the left was added to my book, inset into the bind with washi tape on both sides. The postcard on the right was added the same way.

Here was a page (this last week) that I didn’t really deal on a daily basis at all. I just wrote out a quote I liked and also tried out some new pens on top, separating sections with stickers. Do you see when I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat? 🙂

Here’s a page I followed the rules and did drawings every day. I picked a theme and stuck with that rather than try to think up something new every day.

I do like the practice of drawing. Here is one I did rather than small dailies. I tried to copy a calendar page. Just like learning to write, looking at other people’s work and trying to imitate them is helpful in learning.

Here’s another example of adding another page, this time to the edge. The far right page folds into the book. I used washi tape on both sides. Oh, and here again you can see I didn’t take the time to draw anything. Because I’ve been mostly packing and then falling into bed. For months.

Ha…some weeks are so bad I get nothing done but stick an entire magazine picture over the whole of the week! Beginner art journaling = a whole lot of messing around.

I’m learning to take a smaller sketch book with me to places. I took one to the homeschool conference and while listening and taking notes, I drew whatever was around. Like a baby stroller. Like my daughter’s backpack with her Pooh bear sticking out of it.

Anyhow, that’s all for now. Soon I want to share some photos of our new house and show you the work that is beginning to get done there. When the main portions are finished, we can move in. I’m hoping that will be within a month, but we shall see. In the meantime, it’s nice to have a little rest.

Blessings,

Bible STUDY

May 19, 2014 7 Comments

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

BibleStudy

How’s your Bible reading going?

Seventeen years ago I was saved, and for the past fourteen I’ve been in my Bible pretty much daily. I credit the few years I spent back in Bible Study Fellowship for helping me cultivate that habit. I was always a good student growing up and did my “homework” as such. So daily BSF questions were answered…daily.

I didn’t have a reading plan for most of those post-BSF years; I just picked a book here and there, or sought out verses I liked or needed. The church I was attending preached topically every week, so I didn’t have the chance to read passages ahead of the sermon and I never went back afterwards to read the half-dozen or so verses given on that Sunday in context.

Eventually I fell into a plan that worked for me: simply to read front to back and begin again. Three or so chapters a day would complete the whole Bible within a year or so. Then a brother shared with me his plan for reading the psalms and I adopted that, too: simply take the date (say, the 4th) and read that psalm (4) and then keep adding 30 until you get to the end of the book: psalms 4, 34, 64, 94, 124. In this way, the book of psalms is finished every month.

Proverbs is also finished within every month; simply read that chapter on that date. On the 4th of the month, read proverbs 4.

How long does it take to read all of that? About 30-40 minutes.

dots

A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon that pleaded for morning devotions. The preacher apologized for “meddling” but his questions were instructive. The answers to choose from were (a) your Blackberry (or other favorite device) or (b) your Bible. How would you do in this short quiz?

1. First thing each morning, I flip it open to see if there’s a message for me.

2. I wouldn’t consider leaving home without it.

3. When standing in a slow line at the bank, I use my time to read it.

4. Waiting for the ferry (or other relevant thing–like an appointment–in your case) is not unpleasant because it’s always with me.

5. Before going to bed, I again comfort myself with the information it holds.

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I recently finished Kay Arthur’s Lord, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 Days. I admit the reason I was drawn to inductive study was because, well, the colors were pretty 🙂 I had gone through other devotionals and books before; sometimes I wanted the reading “assignments” and questions that another author had thoughtfully put forth for me.

As it turns out, I am really enjoying this method of study a whole lot! I have done many word studies before, using a concordance to dig deeper, but this method exposed the even *deeper* digging I could do on my own.

Or course, because the text is a living and supernatural text, I’m always gleaning and learning something new every time I read, no matter how many times I’ve read a passage before. But–wow–using those colors really brings new things to light in a whole new way.

It’s taking me longer to study this way, and I don’t read as many passages on a daily basis because of it. But to break out my colors and dig deep? Takes me about 30-40 minutes in the morning.

As an aside, I’m loving the Pilot Frixion pens: they don’t bleed through my thin Bible paper and they’re erasable.

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I have a lot to do. I have seven children who want breakfast and a husband I need to speak with before he leaves for work. I like my shower in the morning, and because I’m pregnant I need to EAT within the hour of waking or my blood sugar crashes. When my eyes open my mind is apt to start planning my day (more packing for the move? cleaning? baking scones? staging for the realtor? potty training my toddler?…..)

But what I look forward to more than anything else is opening my Bible and hearing from the Lord. I feel robbed if I overslept or am too nauseated to look at print, because I know the rest of the day will race towards nightfall and if I try to read anything during that time, it will be crumbs and not a meal.

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Jeremiah 2. That’s where I was today and I spent the time to copy the 20 questions God inquired of Israel, a nation that forsook the Lord to chase after culture, self-righteousness, and idolatry. He points out that their sins were not even in secret, and that even abortion is not anything new (v.34). That nation presumed upon the mercy of the Lord when troubles arose, but steadfastly refused correction.

Who says the Bible isn’t relevant for today?

Do you?

Is it relevant for YOUR “today”?

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Take this in love, sisters. Remember your first love.

Seek ye out the book of the LORD, and read… (Isa 34:16)

Seeking Balance in Downsizing

May 12, 2014 8 Comments

Proverbs 30:8-9 Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.

That was the verse I attached to the photograph of the house I printed off the computer last year when I was dreaming of downsizing and finding balance in our lives and finances. I was dreaming of having a house that was completely paid for, with land for a big garden and some livestock, in an area where my children could have more opportunities for things like hopping on bikes to go fishing. Just wistful dreams, mind you. But I put the picture of the sweet little house (advertised for sale as “the Lord’s house”) into my “God jar” as a visual representation of what I really hoped my life would look like: simple and deliberate, free from debt, in balance and pleasing to the Lord.

This jar is where I put little strips of papers with what I just need to give to God. It helps to do the physical act of writing it down and putting it where I can see it. And anytime I worry about anything at all, I can just pray about it and remind myself–and again see it in full visual view–that I have, in fact, given it to God. I got the idea from Julia Cameron.

God jar and more

As it turns out, that little house belonged to (not a surprise) a godly Christian man. And that we had actually met him once before when he visited our church and he remembered us. And that he and my husband after reconnecting had many good talks about living that kind of proverbs 30:8-9 kind of life. Finally, that man offered us a lease-to-own option, to allow for us to have the house as ours while we sold our current one, extracting–we hope–a good down payment to complete the purchase when all was said and done.

I still am rather stunned by the whole course of events, but here we are. That little house I stumbled upon has become ours. I still keep asking the Lord, “Really? Really?”

Meanwhile, my current house is a wreck. Trying to navigate the first trimester AND pack up an entire household into boxes is, shall we say, challenging. Knowing that I’m moving into a space a third the size I currently have for living and storage is also tricky. Part of me is thrilled; I guess I am a bit of a practical minimalist at heart and I’m quick to throw out anything that isn’t really necessary (which, face it, is most of what we have). The other part is sentimental; I’m not very quick to throw out family heirlooms or furniture, no matter how much I can’t see where it’s all going to go in the new house. I’ve made peace though: one garage sale here, and one later there for the stuff that doesn’t fit! What better way to meet my neighbors?

So the beds are pretty much constantly unmade these days.

And the dishes…well…they get a few meals in before they’re washed.

And oy, the boxes upon boxes upon boxes. Thankfully, we’re moving them out of the house and into the garage. That will make our house easier to show for potential buyers and the move itself easier, too. We can move when the new-to-us house is ready; it needs insulation and walls upstairs. For starters.

One difficulty I’ve had is what to do with all of the unfinished projects I have everywhere. At first I thought I ought to finish as many of them as possible, to make the transition more orderly and to better organize. But then…really…I hardly have the time to finish up these things during NORMAL life…and I’m supposed to finish them while pregnant, packing for a move, fixing up an old house, and changing locations? Yeah…right.

I am, however, hoping to finish these kitchen towels. I’m about halfway through, and I can’t imagine trying to move my loom with a working project on it.

Other projects I have that I’m trying to get into some order are things like pasting into my art journal all kinds of papers that I had in piles all over my desktop.

I’d like to finish sewing up some leather journals I made while I was in Portland last month.

And–bother–the piles of recipes I’ve clipped over the years, to organize “someday”. Do I just plop the whole mess into a box to do “later”? Or toss it all?

One thing I can’t toss is the miscellaneous hand projects I have going: binding a quilted table runner, embroidering an apron, knitting a scarf, appliquéing wool felt…plus odds and ends of mending. Maybe, I think, once my current house is on the market and I’m waiting for the other house to be ready for us, I can work on these lovely things. Maybe.

Don’t even ask me about schoolwork. My older kids are pretty much on independent studies, and my younger ones are “taking a vacation” like the mass of public schoolchildren counting the days until summer break. I was thankful to get “unsolicited advice” (her words, not mine!) about letting the schoolwork go for right now. I was more than relieved to box most of it all up! I did keep MY schoolwork out, thinking, again, maybe, I might have a chance to pick at it.

So that’s where we are right now…crazy busy getting our house ready for market and packing, packing, packing. I do feel the *deadline* of getting everything sold here, ready there, moved and put away and organized before autumn, when baby is due. But I suppose that instead of stressing over it, I would do well to get out another scrap of paper, write “transition” or some such onto it, and put it into the jar. Don’t you think so?

Blessings,

Why I Blog

May 8, 2014 6 Comments

I once saw a t-shirt for writers that had written upon it, “Be nice to me or I’ll put you in my next book.” As funny as that is, the truth of the matter is that writers do use–among other things–their experiences and worldviews, and yes, that means interactions with other people, to create content. Sometimes readers feel close to the writer, with the writer’s ability to put meaningful words to the readers’ own lives and experiences. And sometimes writers need to let off steam (aka “ranting”) and that steam may feel a little too hot to readers, offending them. Readers also bring their own experiences and bias to the page. Reading the same content, some readers are encouraged, others outraged. Thus goes the dance between writer and reader.

I’ve been blogging off and on since 2008. Why?

I can tell you the reasons I don’t.

It’s not to “keep up with friends and family.” I expect my friends and family to keep up with me in real-time, in real conversations, not to just peek in through my blogging window or twitter feed to gather from me without any sacrifice on their part. I’d rather talk or write to a friend in real-time and not depend on her Facebook page for what’s going on in her life. That’s my bias; I hold up real relationships to a higher standard.

It’s not to “teach ideas about homemaking or homeschooling or (fill in the blank)”. As much as some of those things may be gleaned from my blog, it is not my great purpose and I know that what I do share in those realms are just little bits and pieces that can be added to many other blogs, books, and teachers. I’m not an expert on anything and don’t claim to be.

It’s certainly not to make money. I don’t seek out advertising and other than a spot where you can shop Amazon (thank you!), I don’t use my blog to make money. The only thing I currently have “for sale” is my collection of articles I wrote for a young mommy’s group. Notice that I don’t push it with pop-ups every time you visit here.

And speaking of pop-ups, I don’t bug you at every turn with joining my mailing list or subscribing either. “Building a bigger platform” is not my goal.

So why do I blog?

Because I’m a writer and that is the simplicity of it. It is an outlet that I’ve chosen to share aloud.

My blog is named “A Happy Home” from Ps 144:15: Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.

My personal goal, then, is to “build a happy home where the spirit of the Lord dwells”.

My experience is that the Bible is absolutely true: without the Lord, there is no deep abiding joy. Instead, there is: anger, malice, bitterness, clamour, evil speaking, blasphemy (I hear “OMG” all.the.time.), filthy communication, hypocrisy, and envy (Eph 4:31, Col 3:8, 1 Peter 2:1).

Now, I sin and fall like everyone else (just read my blog!), but I delight in knowing Jesus Christ and His finished work on my behalf, convicting me, forgiving me and leading me on His narrow paths. I know well, Titus 3:3 “For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, and hating one another.”

My hope is that I would live out that “WERE” in Titus 3:3, and my hope in blogging is that “I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.” Ps 26:7 I aim to run the race, gain the prize, grow in holiness and closer to my Lord every day. That is what I want for my own home, too. And because I’m a writer, I write about it. It’s like breathing for me.

Many people write for many reasons, some that may differ from my own. Now you know mine. I guess the real question I would have for my readers is this: why do you bother to read what I write? Are my real motivations for keeping a blog also what YOU hope to gain? Have you been blessed? If so, then let’s dance.

Blessings,

Packing, Packing, Packing…

April 29, 2014 4 Comments

I am already tired of packing.

And the more I pack, the more I wonder how I will ever fit it all into our smaller house, even as the garage sale pile grows ever higher. At this point, it’s going to take me hours just to get that sale pile out of my house! I like the Friday-Saturday sale idea, with everything *free* on Sunday.

The problem, I guess, is that I like my stuff. And stuff I have. Books (oh, the books!), art and craft and sewing and weaving supplies, kitchen goods (I need all of the cast iron pans, right?) and quilts upon quilts that I’ve made over the years. Cookbooks, pillows, chairs, and baskets. Lamps, gardening supplies, jars (oh, the jars!).

I’m trying to give myself grace and just pack one box at a time, one room at a time. But as good as I feel when I get that box packed and out into the garage, I come back into the house and it feels like there’s a million more to go. Plus babies to chase after. Plus homeschooling to still keep an eye on. Plus meals to still make. Plus trying to grow another baby.

I’m tired.

But the push is on. I need to list this house as soon as possible, and that means packing, painting, washing windows and cleaning. Our new-to-us house is ours on the 10th, which means work there begins: insulation, walls upstairs, windows, painting, and hopefully a floor refinish…all of course dependent upon finances and time.

The sooner we get the work there finished, the sooner we can move in. The sooner we can move in, the sooner I won’t have to deal with getting seven children to sparkle up the house and get into the van for another showing. And the sooner all of that happens, the sooner I can UNpack, create a nest and get settled in before the new baby comes. And I just hope our current house sells.

Oy. I’m tired just writing about it.

But that’s what’s going on right now. Needless to say, my book has taken a backseat; it awaits a cover design (so close!) but my energy, hormones, time and attention are elsewhere.

I’m just pressing on a day (an hour) at a time. It’s all I can do right now.

Hard Marriages and Silent Wives

April 24, 2014 2 Comments

Another friend of mine is divorcing. It makes me sad. And it makes me sad when I go to weddings, too. I want to warn the couple: the chances are very, very (very) good that there will be a “for worse.”

But I’m also sad at how our faith community handles family breakdowns as well. I don’t think we’ll ever see or comprehend the amount of damage the Doug Phillips/Bill Gothard situations have created. I can’t help but think of their wives.

It used to be, typically, that being wives and mothers was a normal event, and that most women were home to live that out. I remember, as a kid, only one mom on the block leaving the home to seek outside work, and that it was a touch weird. In the afternoons, every kid on the block was outside, roller skating, biking, playing soccer. We raced home chasing our fathers as they drove home from work in time for the evening meal.

Was it easier to stay married then?

I don’t know. But I do remember that my mother had plenty of friends nearby, and that she had the leisurely time in the afternoon to make Greek coffee and to chat. And I’m guessing that they didn’t just talk about knitting patterns and weather but also spent some time laughing and griping about whatever their hubbies were and weren’t doing. At the end of it, though, they just rinsed out their coffee cups and went on with it. And “it” was usually a marriage that lasted decades upon decades, even in the rare midst of friends yanking friends out of truly abusive situations.

Today, however, our society finds it a touch weird to stay home, and especially to have and raise any number of children more than one or two. In the midst of defending our choices to do so, many Christian women (especially) have clammed up regarding any sort of problem in their family lives.

Why?

Well, if you share anything, two things might happen. One, a lack of sympathy: you’re the one that decided to (supposedly) “throw away” an education or other opportunity. This is especially compounded if the wife has ever preached on how wonderful marriage or home life is. Or, two, a pious response rebuking your sin in sharing, of “gossip”, and supposedly spreading ill-will regarding your husband. Both of these are multiplied like crazy if the man is someone in good standing in the church or community.

And you can almost hear the taunts, then, too: she trusted in God, let her trust in Him now, and let us see if this cross she bares disappears.

So, women, especially Christian women, typically remain silent. They don’t have friends over for coffee to let off steam and they certainly don’t ask for help. Because, and this is true also, many times the courage that it takes to ask for help is answered by well-meaning promises for prayer and accountability…but those don’t really happen, not really. Who has leisurely time in the afternoons anymore?

What echoes instead in a suffering woman is this: a wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down. No one I know wants to be the cause of a fallen house, regardless of her husband’s part in it. And too many, I’m sad to also say, Christian women will look to that wife as the ultimate cause of the break. The guilt of sinning (supposedly) in looking for help compounds the problem; it can feel like you’ve sinned against the Lord Himself.

So my friend, currently divorcing, stayed silent. And now she is divorcing and nothing I can say or offer will cause her to reconsider or to even ponder what part she had in the whole mess. It’s just too late.

So what do we have? A lot of very dignified Christian women acting in public like nothing ever gives them hives or reasons to cry in the shower. A lot of very sad Christian women dealing with trouble in complete loneliness. A lot of secular women pointing fingers and wagging their tongues at the fallout…and a lot of Christian women doing the same, even if it’s just in self-righteous thought. And, unfortunately, we have a lot of divorces, both inside the faith and out. Broken families hurt all of us.

One thing I know from all of this. We can’t solely rest on and interpret and apply our faith through the words of any man, whether it be a popular evangelical preacher, a lexicon author or Calvin himself. Scripture interprets scripture, scripture defines itself. If you want to *follow* someone, let it be Jesus Himself, who will never leave nor forsake any Christian, and will not rebuke or cast out the one who comes to Him in anguish, praying for the salvation of her marriage. God’s wisdom and comfort is right there in your Bible in plain English.

If you are in the midst of a trial in your marriage, please take the time to read this. I hope it gives you both sympathy and hope. Please notice her very real pain. Please notice her dependence upon the Lord. And please know she had FRIENDS who listened and counseled and did not count it as sin to share her trials.

What is the ultimate-fix-any-marriage answer? I don’t know, but maybe more coffee with friends wouldn’t hurt.

Blessings,

Trying to Maintain Normalcy While Downsizing

April 21, 2014 3 Comments

I am decluttering and downsizing and packing away my belongings. One box, one room, one area at a time. Even as the garage sale pile grows bigger, even as the trips to send off donations gain frequency, I am still bewildered about how I am going to make this downsize work. I’ve taken measurements of every room in the new house, and I *think* I know where everything will go, but until I’m there…I just won’t know. I have a feeling I’ll be doing another garage sale (or two) once we’re in our new town.

Meanwhile, we enjoyed preparing for and celebrating Easter, or Resurrection Sunday. Even with all of the activities we did, the decorating, the singing, fellowship and baking…I still pondered why it seemed I put more effort into Christmas. After all, if I had to choose THE holiday I most appreciate, I know it would be recognizing and remembering the day my Savior was raised from the dead. It gives me much to think about, how and why we do what we do.

Even in the midst of packing, we still enjoy having people come over. This was a practice session for sunrise service. The talent in our small church body is incredible and we are all blessed by them.

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While trying to pack and get ready to move, I’m trying to keep things as “normal” as possible. We’re still homeschooling, doing laundry, feeding the animals. I spent Holy Saturday dyeing some eggs red, in the Greek tradition.

I think what I liked best was the polishing afterwards; it really brought out the shine!

Meanwhile, I had a sponge going for the Greek Easter bread my mom taught me how to bake.

Rising and baking and trying not to pick at it before Sunday…

We went one more time to meet with the current owner of the house we’re getting into. I freely admit I am completely smitten with the landscaping and gardens. As sad as I am to be leaving all of the gardens and work I did in my current house, a good amount of discovery and wonder and beauty is awaiting me!

One funny story that I shared with Tom…I was wandering through my current gardens and thinking of plants that I would miss. Like my lilac bush, which I love to cut from and thoroughly enjoy for that short stint that they bloom in May. At the new house, I was trying to console myself, reminding myself that I could plant again the things I have loved. And then….I looked up….and what do you think I saw? THREE small growing lilac bushes!! Three!! I wanted to cry. God is so sweet to me, to go ahead in such ways. It gives me more confidence.

The tulips at the new house were in a riot. I can’t wait to harvest from my own yard and bring them into my kitchen and living room and bedroom…

Here are some hostas coming up. I also saw many hollyhocks on their way and much more. If all of that delightfulness wasn’t enough, the owner gave to me at least a dozen pages with plant lists and MAPS of everything he and his wife had planted, labeled. I was amazed!!

Here is the little pond that I can watch outside the kitchen sink window.The owner says fish, frogs, and birds love it. I’m sure I will enjoy watching it over the years.

I just liked this, this little yellow snail matching the trim so nicely.

My husband seems to be handling all of the changes pretty well. He still is pretty goofy and knows how to make me laugh. Which is what I need a lot of these days!

I hope your spring is a lot more relaxing than mine! The air around my current house smells so sweet, like honey, with all of the fruit trees and various plants around the porch in bloom. Well, you know what *my* big spring projects are…what are some of yours?

Blessings,

Rehydrating Dehydrated Sourdough Starter

April 16, 2014 6 Comments

Well, so much for “zero doubts” in getting my dehydrated starter perky and going again. I said as much on my post on dehydrating the starter, and I figured after almost a year, it was time to raise the starter. I wasn’t successful.

This is what I began with, an airtight mason jar of dehydrated sourdough starter.

dehydrated sourdough

Day one, about 4:35 in the afternoon, I began with 1/2 cup of dried starter, 1 TB of ground whole wheat flour (aged about a week in the fridge), and about 1/4 cup of chlorine-free water, enough to get a nice pancake batter consistency. I kept it on the counter, covered with wrap, at room temperature. I put the lid back on the jar, and it resealed within three minutes. I thought the whole deal was pretty stinkin’ easy.

Day two, around 9:15 in the morning, I checked on it, but there was nothing. No real activity at all. For reference, all of my starters do very well at room temperature. This starter still smelled all right, so I decided to warm it up a bit, on the lowest setting, about 90 degrees in my dehydrator. That is how I initially got the starters going when I got them from Sourdoughs International. I checked on it three hours later, and at 4:00 I turned it off.

This was the best I ever got: a single weak bubble or two. After a while, I began to wonder if what I had was my original sourdough fermenting, or if I was fermenting whatever yeast I was catching from my environment. Still, I decided to let it sit overnight, hoping I would see a healthy frothy starter in the morning.

Day three: nope. I decided to toss this batch and began again at 9:25 in the morning. This time, I used 1/3 cup of dehydrated starter, 1/2 cup of chlorine-free water, and I used white flour instead. The “right” way is to use the same as the starter, in this case, whole wheat. However, I thought that perhaps the whole grain may be too overpowering, and I wanted to experiment. I also decided to keep it warm for the day.

Day four, 8:50 in the morning, and I was not impressed. Also, my jar never resealed, so that was an interesting experiment, too. I still had the one or two bubbles, though, so I left it out all that day and into the night.

Day five, there was obvious mold. Yes, something was growing but it wasn’t my sourdough! I started yet again with the last of my dehydrated starter (all fresh clean bowls in between of course). I used 3/4 cup starter, 1/3 cup flour, 1/2 cup chlorine-free water AND this time I added 1TB of apple juice. Perhaps it needed a little sugar to feed off of. I left it to warm until that evening.

Day six, it still didn’t look promising. Believe me, I was SO hoping for this to work! I left that morning for five days to Portland, Oregon, and left it out (covered). I figured it would either perk up or die.

Five days later, it was moldy and dead. And thus ended the saga of rehydrating my dehydrated starter.

I’m not sure what I did wrong, but I’m sure there are far more knowledgeable sourdough gurus who could chime in once they stop laughing 🙂 It sure did dehydrate very easily, so this is my current plan:

1. Call up a couple of companies and see if they’ll share with me how they dehydrate their starters. Perhaps my efforts were too hot, but I’m not sure how I’d overcome that in the wet climate I live in.

2. Order me up some new starter and keep one of their dried starters for my backup.

3. Continue on my quest to share starters with my friends! Many of us are now using sourdough starters, and it is pretty nice to be able to share back and forth as needed. Like when I need a year off from a flavor and then want it back 😉

4. Keep my starters going in the fridge, maintaining a rotation. Currently I have three going, but I’ve had four going and can definitely see doing more. It’s easy once it becomes part of the routine, and if you like to bake often. You can see how I juggle multiple sourdough starters here.

I hope you’ll learn from my failures, and if you are successful in resurrecting a homemade dehydration, I want to hear about it!

Blessings,

Part Two: Upsize

April 15, 2014 7 Comments

In the midst of downsizing our living quarters, we’ll be upsizing our family. Yes, we are expecting baby #8.

I appreciated rereading Matthew 27 this past week. Jesus, the most innocent man ever, stood with dignified silence in the midst of false accusations, mocking, insults, and wrong assumptions. It gave me courage to relay the news of this baby to people I knew would not be excited. Amazingly, I’ve had such outpourings of good blessings and goodwill from everyone else that I’ve been able to pretty much shrug off the paltry number of people who show disdain. I’m delighted with walking with the Lord and receiving these children. I guess I feel more pity than perturbed for people who cannot rejoice over another child, in essence calling what is good, evil. It’s sad.

In the meantime, the packing continues. So does music lessons, cooking meals, and celebrating birthdays. Here is a hobbit cake my son’s sisters made for him.

I’m not doing much in the gardens, except weeding the beds. In a few weeks I’ll put in some vegetable starts. Our seed starting wasn’t too successful this year; it’s time to refresh my seed stash. Flowers are blooming all over the place.

I’ve been on Pinterest gathering ideas for my new home, and I’ve enjoyed reading how other large families fit into such small homes. As it turns out, my home-to-be isn’t *that* small compared to where some families live! The current warp on my loom is to make some cotton kitchen towels, to pretty my new kitchen.

There’s a lot in our lives coming up this year, and I’m looking forward to sharing it and also learning from you all. You know, no matter what comes in life, no matter what circumstances or people throw at you, it’s good to remember that the Lord is sovereign and good. And it’s so, so good to rejoice in that with friends.

Blessings,

Part One: Downsize

April 14, 2014 3 Comments

Well, I promised to share some news, so here goes. We are moving. Actually, downsizing. Actually, almost micro sizing, compared to where we’ve been. My current house is a dis.as.ter with boxes everywhere and things collecting for garage sales, Goodwill, and Craig’s List.

downsize

This is very bittersweet for us. Bitter in that we built our home, that it fits our family of nine, that is has been–for the last ten years–home. Sweet in that we are getting out of expenses that are too much for us, both in time and money. I can’t believe I am actually going to move with seven children in tow.

This is what we are leaving. Our 3800 square foot home (not counting the attic and basement, which would bring it closer to 5000 square feet), nestled in five acres of private woods at the end of a half mile of gravel road. It’s a big, wonderful house in a beautiful and quiet setting. It has four bathrooms.

This is where we are moving to. To a home that’s shy of 1700 square feet (with no basement nor attic), in an open area with several neighbors on a side street that isn’t too quiet–we can hear the whooshing cars on the highway nearby. It’s a bungalow built in 1950, and has had a lot of work done on it: new roof, septic, plumbing, electrical. We still need to do some work before we move in; the upstairs bedrooms are unfinished. But we will have the house in May and we can get started then. Oh, and it only has one bathroom.

This is what I’m trading my woods for: an open sunny area with a beautiful mountain view. The property sits on an acre, so there is room for both gardens and some livestock. The original owners were amazing landscapers and gardeners–the plants excited me long before I saw the interior of the house! I am looking forward to ample sunlight for my gardens.

We have lots more to share about this process we’re going through. If you haven’t subscribed to our podcast yet, make sure to do so! And part two is next!

Blessings,

First, You Take a Deep Breath…

April 5, 2014 6 Comments

…and that’s what I’m going to do for this week. Take a deep breath. Because before I share with you all the absolute craziness happening around here, I’m going to take a week off the net and hang out with a friend in the city. We plan to take a lot of art classes and eat at places where folks are proud to be called “foodies”. Personally, I plan to finish some schoolwork, read an entire book, and make massive progress on the knitted scarf I’m supposed to wear for Easter Sunday. I have letters to catch up on, and at least ten more pages to write on the second book I’m working on. My first book, Present (the story of my addictive-to-peaceful journey through the distractions of social media and internet) waits on cover art and an ISBN number. Closer, closer…

In the meantime, I’m still art journaling and messing around with glue and paper and paint and pen. Once, a friend asked what the point of it was. I suppose I came up with some good reasons. But now as I think about it, I’m not sure everything has to have a point. Sometimes “just because” is enough.

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Another friend gifted me her second loom and I am thrilled. I guess I like playing with yards and yards of threads and weaving them together into pieces that are both useful and beautiful. I’m always amazed when I can get hundreds upon hundreds of yarns, all yards and yards long apiece, onto the loom successfully. Sometimes it sort of looks like a rat’s nest when it’s coming together. But I know better. Sort of like the stuff going on right now…which I will tell you about when I return, Lord willing.

Oh, and we’re raising chicks in the basement again, both layers (eggs) and broilers (meat). I suppose it was an interesting experiment to go without fresh eggs and good pastured meat, but I miss those foods like crazy so we are officially now, as was once said to me disdainfully, “chicken farmers”. You can partly chalk that up to us being “foodies”.

I just turned 44. I’m so grateful for the life the Lord’s given to me. I find it challenging in many ways, but soul-sastifying, too. Sometimes I’m reminded I’ve yet to meet certain standards that I may or may not agree with, but then I remind myself that the Lord joys over me with singing, and I have peace walking with Him. In the midst of it all, I truly believe I am living a wonderful life.

I can’t wait to share all the news with you! For now, I need to get packing 🙂

Blessings,

Natural Face Care

April 1, 2014 Leave a Comment

My post on homemade face cream continues to be a favorite among my readers. Ironically, I very rarely make that face cream. Mostly, because I’m lazy 🙂

That’s not to say that I buy fancy facial products though. I just can’t spend that much for it, nor do I want all of the *interesting* ingredients soaking into my skin. My daily skin care is pretty simple.

Morning, I wash with a mild facial soap. I don’t have a favorite brand but tend to buy whatever’s on sale at the natural food store and has ingredients that I recognize. I do without the fragrance (or “parfum” as it’s sometimes called). Sometimes I use my own homemade goat milk soap.

For toner, I use witch hazel and a cotton ball. Sometimes when I’m really tired, I’ll just clean my face with that in the evening and not even use soap. It takes off dirt pretty well, and I rarely wear makeup.

Two or three times a week, I’ll use a little vitamin C. It’s the most expensive thing I buy, and it lasts a real long time.

For daily moisturizer, I use a little bit of almond oil. This bottle lasts a long time, too. My face feels well balanced.

That’s it. Easy. I like using masks and facial creams when I make them, but it’s not really a daily or weekly necessity. I might give myself a facial a few times a year.

Maybe I’d have less wrinkles or whatnot if I used a bunch of other stuff. But I think my face looks pretty healthy so I don’t worry about it too much. Besides, smile lines are good to have, right?

An Alternative to Obamacare

March 30, 2014 2 Comments

Jamie-Pyles---samaritan-ministries-hi-res

Rather than join the chorus to rant about Obamacare, I thought it might be more helpful to hear about an alternative. Join us as we talk with Jamie Pyles about Samaritan’s Ministries and hopefully answer any questions you may have about this organization.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

If you decide to join, please let them know where you heard about them! For every referral, we get a discount, and that helps to support what we do here.

Blessings,

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Do You Know Affliction?

March 24, 2014 3 Comments

It’s great to get behind the microphones with my husband again! In this episode, I share about my new book, Present, coming out soon, and offer to you some encouragement regarding affliction. We’re not spared affliction in our lives, but in Christ, we are never alone within in it. I hope this episode is a blessing to you.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

A sermon series on the book of Job can be found here.

Fear Not, Part 2: An Interview with Heather Bryant

Go here to find the article about Elizabeth Elliot referenced.

Blessings,

Spring Planting

March 21, 2014 1 Comment

Well, it’s the first day of spring and I finally closed my eyes to the mess indoors and went outside. I’ve had starts by my kitchen windows, and because I’m getting tired of working around them, decided some of them could go outside. I put a bunch of kale seedlings out, and topped it with my makeshift cloche. Someone who shall remain nameless (partly because said “someone” hasn’t confessed) stepped into this plastic bin and broke it. Ah well; it makes for a good greenhouse.

I figured it might still be too early to plant salad greens, but didn’t really have anything to lose (except, of course, a dozen seeds or so). In they went, and I topped them with a little plastic wrap. We’ll see in a week or so if I get some tiny sprouts going, and then I’ll cloche them, too.

The free-ranging hens (we downsized to three) and rooster were more than happy to keep me company, and pecked and scratched in the raised bed next door. Their running-around days are ending probably this weekend. Sadly for them, the fence to the coop is going back up for the season to keep them out of my gardens. I understand the move-the-chicken-tractor-every-day chore, but sometimes you just gotta find a place to park those birds and let it just be the way it is. For the sake of one less chore.

In case you were curious, our rooster is a black copper maran. We’ve never kept a rooster before, but he has earned his keep by staying friendly and managing his gals well. His crow is really curious, but it’s all right by us. Downstairs in the basement we’re raising chicks again: more amercaunas, speckled sussex, and black australorps. Plus another brooder of black and red “broilers” for the freezer. I’ve done the experiment of downsizing poultry and I miss my eggs and meat!

While I was in the garden, I pulled weeds and observed. Coming up: garlic, lovage, echinacea, rhubarb, calendula, and of course dandelion en masse. The daffodils are already blooming and the irises won’t be too far behind. Everything is budding out, beautifully. It is a little odd, planning and planting for an unknown future; will *I* get to harvest these things? Or someone else? All I can hope is that, if we move, someone is planting for me, too.

We have to repair some raised beds. They lasted ten years! I refused to use treated lumber, so of course the wood rotted. It’s worth the comfort of knowing I don’t have chemicals seeping into my food.

Spending time in the garden (and with these critters!) is always a pleasant time for me.

Blessings,

Tying Up Loose Ends

March 20, 2014 1 Comment

Tightening up and tying off the ends of my first woven silk scarf. It drapes beautifully, but I am ready to get out the cottons and make a good dozen (and non-finicky) kitchen towels.

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My husband meets with the “potential house” owner this weekend. I suppose that will be another loose end to tie up, one way or another, too.

Retreat and Reboot

March 18, 2014 3 Comments

Six of my girlfriends and I went up to the mountains and spent a couple of nights in a log cabin. It was a nice retreat, a chance to spend time with one another and rest. We each brought an offering to share for a devotional, and then took turns praying for each other’s needs during our time there. The theme, as it happened, seemed to be “affliction.” We all share in them in some manner; it was good to hold each other up, to remind one another to keep our eyes upon Jesus. I’m so thankful for these sisters.

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My family has been considering a “reboot”. Meaning, we’re in a house that is too big for our needs, and our wallet, and we’d like to downsize and get traction on our finances. I’ve had my eye on one house in particular, but the owner needs to sell and we are currently unable to buy, at least until we sell ours. And, even then, who knows what the market will bring? We seem to be on the cusp of a potential break-even, which means it could go either way…money in our pocket for a down payment, or…not. The gentlemen who owns the house happens to love the Lord, and, as it also happens, used to attend our church. He is also a friend of some friends of ours. After talking with my husband for several hours, he offered us a weekend there, a “staycation,” to try it out.

It was a bit like camping, but in an old bungalow-cottage instead of a tent. We worked the wood stove, but our ineptness showed in the extra smoke. It would be a downsize, and there is some work that needs doing before we could move in. But there is a lot of potential.

I don’t know anything else, or how a move would even work. But I am trusting God to move or stay us, even as my flesh longs to know “The Plan.”

This is the back pasture, fenced. The owner at one time kept goats and sheep and a llama. The low clouds are covering a magnificent mountain view.

The inside really does look like a cabin. I laughed when I saw a sleigh hanging from the ceiling, because *I* have one hanging from mine, too! When I met the owner to get the house key, one of the things we chatted about was our love of cast iron pans.

I love that his birdhouses actually have birds nesting in them. The landscaping is beautiful; the original owners, he tells me, were gardeners.

I enjoyed spending most of the weekend outside, recognizing upcoming vegetables and herbs and flowers. Here, I noticed an entire wall of hollyhocks coming up! I would love to see everything in bloom in the summer.

Another thing I loved was the proximity to lakes, and beaches, and neighborhood stores. It’s a small town, one in which you’d end up knowing just about everybody. And you’d be known, too. My son went fishing with a friend of his. His friend is a nice boy, from a family we love…and who happen to live about half a mile from the house. I know you can’t always pick your neighbors, but I’d pick them!

So…I don’t know what the Lord has in store for all of us. At the very least, we were blessed to have a weekend dreaming about and tasting the reality of what it would mean to downsize and move. I’m thankful to the owner of the house for a chance to think about a serious reboot.

In addition to these getaways, I do feel like I’ve been on the retreat lately, pulling back from blogging and other online endeavors. We shall see if the Lord uses this time for a good reboot. Stay tuned 🙂

Blessings,

Mission: Un-Organize My Home

March 5, 2014 3 Comments

There’s nothing quite like considering a massive downsize to make you rethink each and every thing you own. Many of us know the quote by William Morris, “…Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”

Well. Yes.

Except that it all was useful and beautiful at one time. And some of it still is. I think.

The problem is that over time, some of it….ok, a lot of it…although still useFUL was not USED. Or perhaps the beauty of it was marred by necessary upkeep.

Case in point: cabinets full of homeschooling supplies. Unifix cubes, plastic bears, stringing beads, pentominoes. Tangrams, magnetic letters, Cuisinaire rods, and pattern blocks. Boxes of crayons, markers, and flashcards. Lined paper, unlined paper, graph paper, handwriting paper, drawing paper. All of it very useful and very well organized onto shelves and into clear plastic shoeboxes with matching white lids, stacked…you know…beautifully.

Can I tell you how many times we’ve used those things with the last five children in post-kindergarten? I don’t know. But it turns out that grabbing handfuls of legos to count or beans to sort was easier and more fun, and so we did. And all we used was copy paper and college-ruled. Meanwhile, all of that stuff was taking up valuable cupboard and shelving space, and worse, I just felt so pleased with my organizational skills that I never pondered a more important question.

Useful? Yes. Beautiful? Yes.

But. Really…NEEDED?

Um……

Which led to another question.

If those extra things that I took such time and care to ORGANIZE aren’t really doing anything for me, and I emptied those cabinets of them, what would I put into those deep and “valuable” spaces?

I’ll tell you what I’d want to put there right now: NOTHING.

But stuff grows into the spaces we have.

When my husband and I were young, we drove a little Honda CRX that we used to jam pack full of camping supplies. But once I bought the larger sedan, not only did I not have to jam pack it anymore, I had SPACE.

And what do you want to do with SPACE? Why, fill it up, of course.

I didn’t have to get by with one cooking pot; I could now have room for the big set! I didn’t have to sleep in a teeny tent; I could now have the super-duper one that I could stand up in. And throw in some chairs. And a bigger cooler. With more food of course. Weird we couldn’t find room for the dog anymore, though.

The same scenario finds itself today in other areas. I have a very lovely and useful crock of wooden spoons; I use my favorite three all the time, but the crock is filled and I’m constantly rifling through for the ones I really want. I have dozens of cookbooks (and believe me, I’ve decluttered those at least twice!) but I regularly use only about six of them, and still check out more from the library besides. I use the same 9-10 colored pencils out of 48, wear the same jeans out of four or five, and keep shoes that I only wear once or twice a year. If I remember I have them.

My kids play with the same toys every day (hello, Legos!) and have boxed collections of other games and such collecting dust.

Nicely organized, though. Beautifully, even.

It’s not that collections are bad. But maybe when everything becomes a “collection”, when the answer to the mess and the chaos and the clutter is always, “I need to get more organized and get some more storage bins/closet space/better labeling/more shelving….” then our stuff, regardless of how organized or even pretty it all is, enslaves us to container-stores and zippy bags.

The more you have, the more you have to organize, store, manage, dust, maintain, repair, replace, and redo.

Truth?

So I’m UN-organizing some things. I’m tossing the recipe binders full–FULL–of clipped recipes that I *organized* into seasonally appropriately foods. I’m adding most of those colorful and useful homeschooling manipulatives to the massive and growing garage sale pile. Do I really need eight winter scarves? Fifty-four tea cups? A ton (literally, a TON) of books?

And don’t even get me started with how many grocery bags full of those plastic sheet covers I have now (for sale: cheap) that I’m un-organizing.

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Are you feeling buried? Maybe you don’t need bins or plastic sheet covers or ten steps to get your home organized. Maybe you just need a really good garage sale or a trip to Goodwill or a rented dumpster.

Perhaps a little less of a load to deal with can be both useful and beautiful. Even if you do decide to keep your 48 colored pencils. 🙂

Blessings,

Why I’ve Been Quiet

March 3, 2014 5 Comments

Oh, where oh where to begin….

This is going to be equal to about a dozen blog posts, but I’m going to just dump them all here. You can attend to the subtitles and read to your interest(s).

MARRIAGE: Twenty-two years later, we’re still in the ebb and flow of relationship. That happens, doesn’t it? It’s been good to reassess what the big picture is and what our goals are. I like having two decades plus behind us; we’ve learned a lot and are stronger because of everything we have to row through.

DOWNSIZING: This is one of our goals right now. I know I’m speaking to a whole lot of people when I say the economy hasn’t been kind the last half-dozen years. I got tired of griping about it and am now putting up what seems like half of our goods onto Craig’s List, and working to get the house onto the market (again). We are trusting the Lord to provide our next home. In addition to CL, I have a massive pile of stuff for a garage sale coming up. I’m even decluttering our book shelves, which I know, feels so wrong for any homeschooling mama. But I have seven BAGS of Christian living books to offer and relieve myself of, and that’s just one subject! I admit that with every bag of *whatever* I manage to get out of my house, I feel lighter. It’s a slow process.

WRITING: I’m currently reviewing the editor’s notes for my upcoming book, Present, and I’ve written a study guide to go along with it. I am hoping to release it in May, but my stubbornness for quality means that it will be ready when it’s ready. I’m also reviewing a friend’s book. If that weren’t enough, I have the rough draft to another book on Hospitality (no title yet) almost finished and third and fourth offerings begun.

update

HOMESCHOOLING: Of course, I’m still homeschooling, although at this point it feels more like “homeschool managing”. Most of my children are able to manage their own schoolwork; the young ones are the only ones I really “sit down and teach”. This is the first year I’ve been more hands-off, and my older children are going further than if I had tried to (typically) micro-manage them. My eldest daughter is apprenticing with a tailor, and my eldest son is heading to a mission aviation camp this summer to see if that’s where the Lord leads him. It’s such a privilege to homeschool!

homeschooling

SCHOOLWORK: Speaking of schoolwork, I have my own, too. I’m working through the Clinical Master Herbalist certification through Vintage Remedies. I’m liking it, but in truth am growing weary of online and long-distance courses. There are definitely pro’s and con’s; I’ve done them for fifteen years now. But I’m ready to meet up with some real people, real mentors, in real life. In the meantime, I’m still plugging away here.

schoolwork

ART: I’m still art journaling every day. I really enjoy it. Some days it’s a little doodle, some days it’s a timely watercolor. I also like incorporating herbs into my artwork, too.

I don’t know why these pictures came out dark. I do know I have children that like to play with the settings on my camera though!

art herbs

GARDEN: It’s hard to get real excited about gardening when I’m fairly confident I won’t be here to harvest. Well, I *think* I won’t be. Last time we put our house on the market, I was wishy-washy then, too, about planting. I’m sure glad I did, because we ended up eating the green beans, salads, and garlic ourselves! Instead, I continue to plan and plant, asking the Lord to bless it all so that the next family will be blessed by it. Hopefully, someone is planting something for ME to harvest in a new house!

seedlings

BARNYARD: As you may remember, I gave my last two dairy goats to a friend, and one of them recently had kids! It is another thing I am hoping for: a home where I can have goats again. My neighbor’s husband came home with chicks that the wife said, “no way” to, so we are going to at least raise some chicks again. One thing I’ve discovered is that NOT having fresh eggs is a rotten state of affairs! I hope to take my layers with me.

kid

PODCAST: Yes, we’ll be returning soon! We have a couple of guests to line up, but we are looking forward to getting back to it.

FRIENDS: I’m thankful for my friends! We are currently going through Discipline by Elizabeth Elliot together and have a cabin retreat planned. I’m looking forward to that!

HANDWORK: Still plugging along on my beaded scarf for Easter, and now onto the second silk scarf on the loom.

silk scarf weave

FAMILY: Still blessed to be home raising up my children. It is a delight to celebrate birthdays and just enjoy life and friends together. Someday when my years come to an end, I hope to have the blessing of looking upon many, many grandchildren, all walking with the Lord Jesus Christ.

birthday party

I hope you are all well as winter huffs and puffs the way out. By God’s grace, I am persevering.

Marriage and the Art of Compromise

February 22, 2014 Leave a Comment

I was in the kitchen grinding some coffee recently and took a longer glance at my little set up. Hand grinder, coffee beans, electric grinder.

coffee compromise

I prefer the hand grinder. It’s slow. It’s quiet. It grinds very fine and of course I think the flavor is better, too. It is something that forces me to practice contemplation; I find myself staring out of the window while cranking. And maybe all that work counts something for exercise (to burn off the vanilla syrup?).

My husband prefers the electric grinder. It’s very fast. It grinds well enough for the aeropress we use, and he just loves the buttered coffee he makes for himself every morning. It takes him less than a few minutes.

Sometimes we have real differences in opinion in how to live life together, and some of those differences are far more serious than how to make a good coffee. In a good marriage, it is good to step back and ask the big, umbrella-like questions: what do we really want? On what can we agree? From there, that starting point, that’s where we can begin to give-and-take, compromise, make room.

After all, if the whole point is coffee, there are many ways to get there. The trick is to help one another to prepare the cup we each desire, so we then can drink up happily together.

Understand?

More Sewn Bible Covers

February 12, 2014 9 Comments

It looks like we finally got a little bit of winter here in the Pacific Northwest, at least enough to snow us in and make a good excuse to spend extra time in the kitchen making pumpkin doughnuts. We live at the end of a long gravel road and without a spiffy 4×4 (we dream of having one someday!) we were stuck at home. I loved it.

snow and Bible covers

The last two mornings I have heard the cheerful chirping of birds coming home from their migrations. Even though the gardens are still limp and asleep, I like hearing the first birds of spring. It gives a little ray of hope, that spring will come. This morning I heard a little frog as well. You get to hear little pleasures like that if you get up early enough, before the chaos of breakfast and diapers and animal chores.

Animal chores are slim around here. All we have left are a couple of dogs and cats and a handful of poultry. I asked my daughter what she wanted for her upcoming birthday; she said, “Something in the barn.” I assume she meant other than the barn cats. I don’t blame her for her longings. I myself avoid going into the barn and pastures; it’s quiet like a graveyard, ghost-like memories of goats and their funny personalities and spring kids.

One night, my husband took the older children ice skating (here, that endeavor is an indoor rink). After herding the two babies left at home into bed for the evening, I had several hours of quiet. Quiet, other than at dawn, is rare in this house. I decided to sew a Bible cover for my newest Bible. I like using covers because it keeps the good Book in better condition for a longer period of time. I managed to get through a couple of sermons online while I sewed.

Maybe you’re looking for the process of how I got from cloth to cover. You can find it here. I didn’t bother with a pencil pocket or handles (those always seemed odd to me), and I didn’t bother quilting or using interfacing for this little cover either.

Instead of fully quilting this one, I stitched around some of the roses. The little bit of crochet and the button were hand stitched on after the cover was finished.

I added extra ties, too. The red ones were hand dyed and handspun by a friend of mine. I just like the feel and color.

Here is what it looks like on the inside. It’s very easy to take on and off if necessary.

And here are my two Bibles. You can see the very first quilted Bible cover I made here. That Bible really did fall apart and I couldn’t use it anymore, so it’s retired.

How many Bibles do you have? More importantly, are they collecting dust? I like keeping two. The smaller one I keep for taking with me to Bible study and church. I also keep it clean, not writing in it.

The other one I keep is larger, with fabulous wide margins for writing in. This is the one I use to study from. I have been long intrigued with using colored pencils to highlight. Here is a good blog post to learn about doing that. So perhaps the inside of my Bible will become just as colorful as the cover!

You *are* reading your Bible, aren’t you? How else will you grow? Don’t be as one drawing near the Lord with your mouth but with your heart far removed (Isa 29:13).

Maybe some time listening to a sermon and sewing up a pretty Bible cover, or gathering up some colored pencils, will invite you to open its pages today.

Blessings,

On Savoring the Things of God

January 29, 2014 3 Comments

Matthew 16:23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

I’ve been parked in the book of Matthew for a bit, mainly because of Bible Study Fellowship. If you have a hard time reading your Bible every day, or even understanding it, or if you’re just curious, I’d recommend this ministry to you. For me, it has been quite satisfying having yet another day in my week to meet with my sisters and to stand and sing more hymns. Can you sing too many hymns in a week?

Poor Peter. I think we shall all one day gather round the man and say, “Me, too! Me, too!” Of course, our failings were not written for the benefit of others coming after us; instead they were forgotten, buried under the ocean waters, as far from the east is from the west. I’ve been meditating on what it means to “savor the things of God”, and of course how the world and my flesh pull me to grow in anxiety or self-righteousness instead.

I share Baxter’s lament, “WHY is not my life a continual joy, and the savor of heaven perpetually upon my spirit?” And yet I know why. But I still ask. And struggle. Such is the Christian life, meandering through the glory and the garbage of this world.

I got a bread bucket recently. I bowed out of fighting over one on eBay that finally sold for some $300 (!!) but managed to quietly buy one outright for about $70. I think of it as my Kitchen Aid without the plug. The crank turns the dough hook to knead the dough, and then the pot can be used in a warm place to give it rise. It has far more room than my electric mixer. It is simple, beautiful and very useful. What is not to like about the simple things? This bucket was made in 1902 and works like a charm. I can’t say I’ll be passing down my Kitchen Aid to my great grandchildren.

Baking bread is a lovely way to pass the day. Again, what is not to like? Feeding the sourdough starter, mixing ingredients, kneading, rising, BAKING (oh the smell!!) and then at the end to slice off a bit that’s warm and slather fresh yellow butter, dripping onto fingers. When I think of a simple, commonplace, slow, thoughtful, easy paced life, I think of baking bread.

bread

Matthew 16:9 Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?

This is another meditation of mine lately: to REMEMBER. When the trials are strongest, when everything seems (and is!) uncertain, when God seems silent and you’re just waiting for answers, direction, a plan…God calls us to remember. Remember His faithfulness, remember His great love, remember His promises (yes, even the ones that say you WILL have trial and tribulation), and remember He has neither left nor forsaken. Sometimes I have trouble remembering. It takes a stubborn will to put my hands out and say, “Yes I SEE the waves and water……but I WILL look for my Jesus coming upon them.”

I am knitting a shawl for Easter. It is one thing that keeps my mind on the cross, to REMEMBER Him and the hope I have and the peace He gives even in the storms. I imagine it covering my shoulders as He covers me with grace. If you look closely, you can see the little beads on the edge. They look like raindrops. Or tears. Both beautiful.

If you like to knit, you can find the pattern here. I just love this store and the owners, too. It would make me happy to see you shop there if you have the time and funds.

My book, Present, is at another reader’s eyes and is about ready for professional editing. The next step is to finally *decide* upon self-publishing or endeavoring to find an agent. Both have their benefits. In the meantime, I’ve begun a second book on hospitality. Don’t we all need more of that? Don’t we all long to not only feel at home, but to embrace our friends and neighbors with that same love and comfort and companionship? I think we’ve had our fill of busyness and separation….look where it’s gotten us. So much loneliness in the world today. We’re called to be comforters, as we have been comforted.

My latest little pleasure is collecting frogs to place my paintbrushes in. Art journaling helps me to let my mind rest, to wonder and ponder and think things through. Weaving on the loom does the same thing; I love the hundreds of little threads and even the words like warp and weft and weave. God is so good, that even in the midst of a mess of heezie-hozie, He allows some sweet moments of rest.

Are you in a mess? It’s part of life. But let us press one another to seek to savor the things of God and to be thankful for those blessings within it all. If you’d like to keep up with my writing endeavors, I invite you to join my mailing list at the top of the blog. I surely appreciate my readers so much.

Blessings,

“I Need to Go to the Store”

January 21, 2014 6 Comments

I say those words far, far too often. In my case, it’s about twice a week, which may or may not sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me. But for as many years as I’ve worked towards decreasing my dependence on the supermarket, here I still am. I find it not only a great nuisance, but also wasteful. And dangerous. Anytime you *need* to go to the store means that it is a day your family better not get hit with a hurricane. Like illness. Like a pink slip. Like an injury. Or…a real hurricane.

I was thinking about this during lunch today. I sent the children outside to play while I put it together, and it ended up as something…well…”put together.”

Store (In)Dependence

I began with leftover sauce and bits of meat from last night’s crockpot. Then I added white beans I had soaked last night and cooked up this morning. Looking into the fridge, I found a bit of leftover chicken and leftover peas. I added freeze-dried bell peppers, dehydrated celery and onions, and powdered garlic. It all became a very full–and filling–pot of soup for our lunch. It felt a bit like Carly Emery‘s “Independence Days”, days in which her family could eat without going to the store. It is pretty close to how I imagine my grandmother ate: using up what she had, eating from her pantry, eating in season and from what she preserved. Given that she lived her whole life in a remote Greek village, she could “need to go to the store” all she wanted…but there was none, except a small shop I remember old men liked to gather in at chess tables. It sold cigarettes and probably ouzo. I don’t even know how she fed her hens and dairy animals (feed store? what feed store?), but I suppose that is pondering material for another blog post.

Would your kids eat the soup I made? If times got really tough, would you know how to make food like that? Do you know how to use your pantry (and would anything be in it?), and how to cook from leftovers (food you didn’t toss or forget about)? Could you bake a loaf of bread from a handful of wheat berries?

I am not where I want to be in this, obviously, because as thankful as I am for the opportunity and time and means, once or twice a week to the store IS ridiculous because it means opportunity lost for other endeavors, time lost to travel and shopping, and money spent that could have been saved or otherwise better stewarded.

Do you–like me– “need to go to the store” quite a lot? Does it concern you at all to be so dependent upon that store being there, it being open, your having a means to get there and back, and the money to spend there, and that it would have exactly what your family needed exactly when your family needed it? If any of those things failed, what would you all eat?

I will share with you what I’ve done so far for my own family to decrease our dependence on the store, and then confess *why* I still find myself there too much even now.

Grains and legumes are easy to store and they last a long time. Prepared properly, they are nutritious and filling. Because we like baked goods, I also store wheat, salt, baking powder, and honey. I have a good store of both baker’s yeast and sourdough starters. If I couldn’t leave the house for whatever reason, we could still eat for quite a while.

I store a lot of seasonings, but the key here is that I store much of what I use a lot of. Every year I dehydrate and powder a quart or more of garlic and oregano. I also keep thyme, onion, cinnamon and nutmeg. My aunt in Arizona once sent me a quart of dehydrated mixed chili peppers; yum yum yum! Buying seasonings in bulk or dehydrating your own is very inexpensive. Buying little cans of unique seasonings for a one-time recipe is very expensive, but you don’t have to create everything yourself. Just make sure to have on hand what your family likes best.

A few years ago I started experimenting with freeze-dried foods. They’ve come in very handy for those times I didn’t have what I wanted, and I wanted to avoid a trip to the store. The bell peppers in our soup today came from such a can.

Another experiment of mine was to prepare ready-meals. It seems like the majority of the store is exactly that: ready meals and ready breads and ready salads and ready everything! There have been pah-lenty of times our family has gotten home late from wherever or just didn’t have the money *today* and the fridge was an echo chamber. I got the idea from Jennifer Ess and so far, we’ve liked most of what we’ve tried. I like that any of my kids could grab a jar or two, add water, let it all simmer and voila, a decent meal is served.

My chest freezer is a blessing. I realize that if we lose power, I’m going to be canning and dehydrating a whole lot in a short amount of time *if* I have the jars (another thing to prepare…), but in the meantime, this freezer has been an excellent place for me to keep an entire grassfed cow, dozens of homegrown chicken, and plenty of fish. Before we said goodbye to the last of our goats, we stored up plenty of goat milk to either drink or use for soap, too.

Another thing I store is plenty of herbs. We use them for our medicine and in preparations for the body (soap, shampoo, oils, etc). I love having my own full medicine cabinets!

So, what’s missing and why am I STILL going to the store? For me, it’s a lack of canned and preserved PRODUCE. I love to prepare and eat everything fresh, and if I’m not getting it from the garden, I’m going to the store. Furthermore, I have yet to harvest a goodly amount to preserve….so far, my perennials and fruit trees are too young to do much more than feed us during the growing season. And, worse, I confess I’ve been far too lazy to buy up that big box of apples or pears in season and to spend the hours needed to put them away. This is a serious blunder on my part. The truth is that if I spent my hours PRESERVING what is currently very accessible in my area (via the store, or farmer’s markets, or the farm down the street…), I would have more time on my hands than is spent by my trying to grow everything myself. My garden will not go away (that’s an extra measure of food security), but I need to be more thoughtful and diligent in my PRESERVATION of fruits and vegetables, so that I can clearly have no other real reason to go to the store other than because I *want* to and not because it’s getting into afternoon and oh-dear-supper’s-due and now I *have* to.

One last thought. When you are working towards building up your pantry, it is important to USE your supplies. LEARN to cook those beans, LEARN to use up those scraps of leftovers, LEARN to cook from scratch and so forth. Otherwise, it is not only a waste of resources and time, it will be tremendously stressful if that day ever comes when going to the store on a whim isn’t even a possibility. Is that likely to happen? I don’t know. I don’t put that possibility at a “zero” however, and so we work towards those coveted independence days.

Blessings,

I Didn’t Ask for This…

January 15, 2014 5 Comments

Matthew 14:22 And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship…

CONSTRAIN, v.t. [L., to strain, to bind…] In a general sense, to strain; to press; to urge; to drive; to exert force, physical or moral, either in urging to action or in restraining it….

One of the risks of following Jesus is that sometimes He sends you–drives you, even–where you don’t want to go, like through the valley of the shadow of death where the locusts are having a gorging feast on anything good you might have desired to have or pleasured in. He allows hardship into your life that, yes, you will have to walk through. No one signs up (“pick me!”) for the miriad of trips down heartbreak and pain and confusion and suffering. But one day you’re just following Jesus in green pastures and the next you’re in a wee wimpy boat on a tumultuous ride through a lake He told you to cross. Didn’t Jesus know ahead of time that this boat He put you on, that He constrained you to board, was going to get hit by a hurricane?

Meet my hurricane.

ruby

Matthew 14:24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

Oy, the contrariness of the prevailing wind. Sometimes I have a handle on Down Syndrome, and I’m just steering my boat on a clear blue sky. And then, *WHAM*…suddenly it’s dark, and I’ve been rowing for many, many watches, and I’m weary, and after all this time of sailing I *still* don’t know everything I ought to and I’m probably going in circles and there are leaks in the boat I missed earlier and where is Jesus now anyway? Doesn’t He know how I am straining at the oars? Why doesn’t He come set my boat aright and give me unmistakably clear directions? I know I don’t deserve smooth sailing…but I sure want it.

Matthew 14:25,27 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea….saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

Oh, Captain of my Soul! Jesus presses me into places I never ask for, never seek. And yet in the midst of trials He is there; He commands cheer and fearlessness even as the white caps are still frothing. He invites me to trust Him, to fix my eyes upon Him, to give thanks for the boat I’m on because that is what He will use to meet me in the middle of great stormy seas. I didn’t ask for this. I would have preferred to stay on the sand.

I would have missed my Jesus walking on water.

Matthew 14:30-31 But when he (Peter, walking upon the water towards Jesus) saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

How He knows my every fear, my every seed of faithlessness. How He knows the weight I give to circumstances around me, to the laughable confidence I give the seaworthiness of my little vapor boat to carry me. He knows how prone I am to wander even when the waters are smooth, to judge my sailing abilities against others in their own dingeys, to even forsake the watch for an extra measure of a little slumber, a little closing of the eye (will the storm settle if I ignore it?). Yet His hand is ever stretched forth to me, Come, says He, follow Me.

Matthew 14:32-33 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

Worship is the point of the boat, the storms, the fears and the sinking. Jesus constrains me to go where I would never ask to, fearing failure and hardship and drowning and discomfort, so that I will end up being where I at my innermost most want to be: in His hands, at His feet, ever-growing in the truth that He is the Son of God, able and willing to perfect that which He has begun in me, to make me perfectly whole. How then ought I to curse the weather?

Let Him bid me to come unto Him on the water, to give thanksgiving for the grace to walk with Him there and to praise Him for putting me there. My faith is so weak, I never ask for those opportunities to begin with.

Blessings,

On Goal(s) Setting

January 4, 2014 5 Comments

Isaiah 52:12 For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the LORD will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rereward.

I love the beginning of a new year much as I love Mondays. Fresh starts. New days. Hope.

In setting goals for the day or week or month or year…it is good to remember that we need not go forth in haste, nor in fear. The Lord will go, He has gone, before us, laying down foundations and putting things in order for the times to come. Some of those things will be good. Some will be trial. But all will be for our edification and sanctification and will strengthen us by His hand.

I tend to want my goals done yesterday. I tend to want to hurry the learning process or complete things in great haste, lest enthusiasm withers or disasters strike all because I was not ready or diligent or thoughtful or persistent. It does my heart good to know the Lord is already ahead of me, and I can rest in the seemingly insignificant mileage I put forth today.

My word of the year is CHOOSE. I want to choose the narrow way, the road less traveled, the things that seem small and unimportant and commonplace. I want to remember that in this country that remains (relatively) free, I still have many choices to serve the Lord and my family, and I want to CHOOSE wisely.

Do you have goals written out for the year? I wrote mine in the front of my desk calendar, selecting areas I desired to give attention to.

2014 goals

One of my goals has been to translate my daily journal writing into other forms, and to practice drawing and lettering. Taking Gina’s class at last year’s Art and Soul Retreat was wonderful; she taught me how to use a year-long planner to practice art journaling in little bites. I’m a little bites kind of gal; I sort of pick at projects here and there, little by little. In my book I practice with watercolors, colored pencils, collage, washi tape, and ephemera.

goals 2014

This is the week I’m currently on; it’s half-finished. I know how easy it is to be wowed by finished art pictures (or home and garden pictures for that matter). What you usually don’t see is the pain of hours of pulling wire or the time of relaxed pencil coloring or how many appliances were stashed under the beds before the pictures were taken. Whatever your goals are, it’s here a little, there a little.

I’m a journaler at heart, so of course I began *another* journal. I think I have five going now. This one–another date book–I’m using for keeping track of my goals, that is, what did I do today to further them? I think looking back on those notes will help me when I feel like I’m *never* going to meet my goals (do you ever feel that way?)

And I’m also using it for my Bible studies, drawing or copying scripture from the readings I’m doing that day and week. Currently I’m reading Isaiah (I read cover to cover and then begin again). It is a perfect fit for me to try to translate what I’m reading into pictures and letter work; it helps me to not only meditate on the Word, but to remember it. These pages are only half done.

Bible study art journal

In other news, the homestead’s awfully quiet without our dairy goats, but it’s been a good rest. Sometimes you just need to clear the deck to rethink and re-vision what it is you want your family to be about doing. As for us, and I’m sure for many of you, the economy hasn’t been the most kind and we’re once again considering selling our home. My husband and I have dubbed 2014 the “year of decision” as what happens during this time with his business will make those sorts of decisions absolutely decisive and less of a choice. It’s one reason my podcast has been quiet lately….we’re not sure what to say other than, “Gee, things are really tough right now…..” It is one of the beauties of being in the Word, though, because I know I have a sure foundation no matter what happens.

In the meantime, I’m reading like crazy. I have three piles of books in my bedroom alone, mostly nonfiction. And because my outside chores have–mostly–gone away, I have extra time to cultivate other interests, such as playing with wool and other fibers. Good thing, too, because eight weeks of getting slapped down with sciatic pain has really slowed me down (including my metabolism but that’s another story).

goals 2014

Do you have goals for the new year? Do you have a way of picking at them, and of recording the little steps you do take, to fight that disappointment later that whispers of quitting? You can do it. You really can. The Lord has gone before you. Keep your eyes on Him and let Him lead.

Blessings,

How to Have the Christmas Spirit

December 23, 2013 Leave a Comment

It’s interesting, this time of year. So much music and movies and chatter about the Christmas spirit, about how to get it, and what the season is “really about” (depending on whom you ask). Sometimes I feel happy about all of the activity and lights and peppermint. Sometimes I just feel emotionally manipulated by holiday musak in the grocery stores.

I was thinking on this when I was threading a new warp onto the loom, running cotton through steel heddles and trying not to make a nest of it. Isn’t that what we all try to do? Thread things carefully in our lives, tie up ends, and hope that knots undo with ease? But sometimes bad things happen through no fault of our own, or we sin and really make a mess not only in our own lives, but in the lives of others. Christmas isn’t really about having a holly jolly time of our life here, but we do long with hope for things to be right in the world, don’t we? My heart breaks for the world, in sin and error pining.

snow and weave

And recently I awoke to a dusting of snow, and it was beautiful and the peace was quite palpable. Christmas, however, is not just a feeling we get based on our (hopefully all in line with what we want) circumstances, pretty as it may seem with sugar cookies (a fridge full of food) and stockings (a house full of stuff) hung with care (more to get!). I do enjoy these things and also desire to be comfortable in life–who doesn’t?–but none of that embodies the Christmas spirit. Not really. As the preacher said, it is all vanity (Ecclesiastes 1:2).

The Christmas spirit has nothing to do with family reunions and packages and the laughter of children either, though these are all sweet blessings from the Lord and desirable as well.

Truly, the Christmas spirit is about how God entered into a worldly–and individual–mess to redeem it, to make it anew, to restore and make it beautiful. Christmas is really about the cross; the point of Christmas…is Easter. The lamb of God coming humbly into the world…and dying on a cross and resurrecting three days later to atone for the sins of those who would–also–humble themselves. Have you repented and put your trust in Him alone? Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth. (Luke 15:10)

Do you long to have a true Christmas spirit, that rightness with God and with man? Then do as the shepherds did on that eve, and bow humbly before the King of Kings. It is not gifts under a tree or fruitcake or reindeer that pause that cultivate the Christmas spirit. It is WORSHIP of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is worthy to be praised, even if our days aren’t merry, bright or white. How will you worship Him this season? In the coming year?

A very merry Christmas to you, and Lord willing, I shall see you in the next year.

Blessings,

Simple Christmas Decorations

December 17, 2013 Leave a Comment

I’m a simple gal at heart, and I enjoy things that are natural, handmade, whimsical. Here is a little tour of some of the decorations around my home that fall into one or more of those categories.

Orange slices are easy to dry. I put the slices onto parchment and then slid them into the oven as it I pulled out supper, allowing the heat to slowly dry them out as the oven cooled. The next morning I forgot they were in there and preheated the oven! Oops! They got a tinge crispy on the edges, but I got them out in time.

Simple Christmas Decorations

Here they are, strung up with thread and on the tree. They really catch the light.

I never could find a topper I liked so my husband created one out of a piece of copper pipe scrap from a plumbing job. The idea was to look like a giant tinkertoy. Mission accomplished! As an added bonus, the rays all pull out of the center circle and store within the center pipe.

I didn’t add much to the mantle, just some cedar from the woods outside, a string of lights and some carved wooden reindeer.

I found this wooden nativity set years ago in a local artists co-op. I can’t remember where the wire trees came from (Pier One??) and I made the little angel hanging on the clock out of wool. My sweet neighbor made the Noel banner for me as a gift. The quilt in the background is one that I made.

This banner is so cute! I love the simplicity of it. I bet a lot of you crafty gals could figure it out and make similar ones.

What’s winter without snowflakes? Some years the only ones we see are the ones we make and tape upon the windows. We’re snobby snowflake purists: they *must* have six sides. I very much like this birdcage. Only quiet and clean (read: fake) birdies currently live in it, but I’m not opposed to putting in some real ones someday.

However, I don’t think real birdies would don on mini Santa hats.

A month ago I managed to drag a cabinet in from the basement and give it a good paint job. It’s not made of real wood (too bad!) but it still does the job. You can see my scrappy candy canes up top, and the top two shelves hold my collection of children’s Christmas books.

For our Advent calendar, I traced a free mitten pattern from the internet and cut out 24 mittens. On the back of each is an activity for the day, such as creating Christmas cards or enjoying hot cocoa or playing music downtown.

For our dining chandelier, we draped more cedars and then added paper chains and a little touch of gold garland.

Our Christmas cards are hung on a string with mini clothespins.

A friend made these snowflakes for me. Aren’t they gorgeous? I’m still amazed by them; they’re glass!

Here’s another birdcage with the birdie escaped! We decorated the cage with vintage (read: thrift shop) Christmas ornaments.

Some projects are ongoing, here a little, there a little. Like some wool felt gingerbread men. Just three of them.

I still need to sew on the binding to a table runner I made from my scrap collection. Maybe I’ll finish it in time for next year 🙂

And why not decorate with sticks? I want to hot glue them into star shapes.

These ornaments-to-be are from clothespins cut short. They’re awaiting some paint and personality.

I hope you are enjoying some quiet time this Advent, creating some lovely things for your home and family. None of it really needs to be complicated or expensive. You can see how I decorated my kitchen here.

Blessings,

I Wrote a Book! And More LOOMing Projects

December 9, 2013 4 Comments

If you’re on my email list (and you are, right?) you already know that I’ve written a book. If you’ve been with me a long while, you also know that A Happy Home was a blog I quit for a short season because I was so completely distracted by the internet and its siren call. I was constantly checking the stats or pushing aside the needs of my children to work on posting photographs, etc. It interfered with my being present with my family, friends, and life. I spent almost a year away from blogging, and in doing so I addressed many areas in my life and put them in their proper places. I then returned to blogging at A Happy Home Media, but with a quieter, more contented life despite the tensions and incessant call of technology, internet, and social media. And it is STILL a journey!

The book is called PRESENT and it’s about allowing the important things in life to have priority. Judging by the many I’ve met through my website(s) struggling with the same issues of finding balance, it seems I am in good company!

Anyhow, the manuscript is getting sent out for editing because I really want it to be a blessing to my readers, for it to be the best it can. At this point I’m wavering between hunting for an agent and self-publishing. Both have strengths and compelling reasons to do so. In the meantime, yes, I’ve started writing book number two on hospitality and have laid out book number three on journaling. So look for good things to come! And sign up for my mailing list–I consider that my *inner circle* 🙂

Meanwhile, I borrowed a loom from a friend and have started to learn how to weave. I just love playing with wool and texture and color. I have grand designs of raising my own fiber, spinning and dyeing it, and then weaving and felting and THEN using those gorgeous creations to design and make journals that others can use. To get to that bigger vision, I am planning to add plants specifically for dye this spring, and will spend some of my winter learning to weave. I also have the name and number of a drop spindle spinner to call up, and this spring I have a class to learn how to put leather journals together. I’m sure I will be able to use that knowledge for other covers, too. Little steps are what gets me to my goals.

Here is my first go at the loom. Yes it’s wonky and not perfect but it’s a start. I’m certain every marathon runner fell on their hiney at least once while learning to walk.

first warp

weave

What dreams are you dreaming? Are you taking steps? Practicing?

Blessings,

The Other Side (of the Kitchen)

December 8, 2013 5 Comments

Not that anyone was waiting on the edge of their seats, but here is the other half of the kitchen decorated for Christmas. You can see where I started here.

I put little ornaments here and there on the shelves. And yes, those vanilla cocoa stirrers are yummy.

kitchen1

Then, I hung up vintage Christmas card scenes onto the cabinet knobs. These were postcards edged in glitter and hole punched for a pretty ribbon to go through.

Of course I continued the string of lights. What is it about Christmas lights that just makes every room SO much prettier? I keep these up until Valentine’s Day. Because I can. And because it’s dark here in the winter in the Pacific Northwest.

I added some shiny ornaments here and there to catch the light. I like the crackly glaze on these.

It didn’t cost me very much for these two little plants. One is a cypress that I thought looked like a mini Christmas tree and I stuck a wee birdhouse into the pot. The other is a little rosemary that I can clip for a while before planting outdoors. I like the look and smell of a little potted greenery in the kitchen, especially in the winter.

I picked up this scale a few months ago and love it! Currently it holds a little snowman peeking out, but the scale itself is completely useful. You know, for those times I need to weigh up to a 60 pound turkey or something.

Lastly, I drug up the old family handed down sled from the basement. We didn’t get hardly any snow last winter so it just sat down there. This year I decided I needed it to be flying around my kitchen, so it was hung up onto hooks and chains (into studs of course!) that would make it very easy to take down if and when said white stuff appears en masse. In the meantime, it’s decked out with cedar greens from the woods and…lights…can’t have enough lights! This is what I call the ultimate in *use what you have* decorating. I’m thinking of hanging up the old metal 40 year-old trike in the spring! Why not decorate from the ceiling?

How sweet do you make the place you spend the most of your time in? Even if you’re working in an office, you could probably put a snow globe or two on your desk 🙂

Blessings,

How To Juggle Multiple Sourdough Starters

December 5, 2013 6 Comments

I’ve been feeling the need to update my post on whole wheat sourdough bread, mainly because baking with sourdough is far, far easier than the recipe I left there. And now that I’ve been at it for several years, I’ve also gotten to a nice rotation in juggling multiple sourdough starters. I get most of my starters from Sourdoughs International, and I’ve been very pleased. Each one has a different personality, a different flavor, and even a different scent! Some work really well with heavy whole wheat (such as the Russian or Polish Rye), and others work better for white or wheat/white mixed breads (such as the French or Italian). Some ferment and rise very quickly, within a few hours, and some take all day.

I realize that *real* bakers weigh their ingredients, but I’ve really enjoyed just following the recipes in Classic Sourdoughs (also available via Amazon). Furthermore, I really like just eyeballing the flour and water mixture for consistency, and I learned that through the book, too. I almost never use baker’s yeast anymore at all, and when I do, it’s always kind of a bummer I didn’t have my starter ready.

I keep all of my starters in the fridge. I’ve kept and rotated four at a time for a while, but I got kind of bored and dehydrated a couple. After a nice long baking sabbatical, I added a Polish Rye to the group, and currently I am keeping and rotating three (one Italian and a French, along with the Rye). At the ready for rehydrating when I’d like are a Russian, another Italian, an Alaskan and a South African. I love having so much variety in my baked goods at home! The nutritional value AND the money savings are bonus!

This is how I rotate my starters; all of these pictures were taken on one single morning.

When I remove a starter from the fridge, it looks like this. It’s probably been a week or two since I’ve used this starter. The separation is normal. I will pour this entire jar into a ceramic bowl, and then “feed” it with some flour and water. I eyeball both measurements, taking care to keep my flour just less than half of how much starter there is, and then slowly whisking in water until I get that pancake consistency. I love using my Danish dough whisk for this, but I did use a large fork for a long time. I cover the bowl and put it aside. I’ll be feeding it again in the evening (second feeding) and a third time the following morning. That following evening is when I will put a dough of something together, to let it rise overnight.

sourdough1

This is a bowl of starter I had begun the day before. All I have to do here is feed it, again just eyeballing it and let it sit until evening. If I forget or choose not to make dough that evening, I simply hold it over until morning for pancakes or waffles or pizza dough or even chocolate cake. YUM. And I really, really, really try not to forget to SAVE STARTER BEFORE MIXING DOUGH. The saved starter (back into a fresh mason jar) gets a little feed and goes back into the fridge until its turn to play is again up.

By the way, the best way to not lose starter is to share with friends 😉

Lastly, I have a bowl of dough mixed from the night before, risen and ready to be scraped out onto the counter to rest for a half hour. Then I put my dough into loaf pans and let it rise until its good and ready to throw into the oven. Depending on the starter, this could be just 2 hours, or 8-10! This happened to be my Polish Rye (a slow riser), and I made a couple of loaves of whole wheat raisin bread. I baked them that afternoon and we had seriously crazy yummo sourdough rye raisin bread to toast for our breakfast the next morning.

I suppose the last photo ought to be the finished bread, crumbs and melted butter on a sweet plate dappled by sunlight. But we ate it all before I bothered to take any photos that would make you drool 🙂

I don’t really plan ahead what I’m going to bake. Typically, I just pull out the next starter and consider what kind of breads would be good with that one. Sometimes I just don’t bake anything at all for days. And when I do bake, it’s in small batches. Gone are my days of pulling out half a dozen yeast breads at a time. Sourdough breads are not only delicious, but they are far more filling.

Juggling multiple sourdough starters isn’t really difficult. It’s just like anything else, simply a learning curve to get around.

Blessings,

Advent as a Time of Rest

December 3, 2013 2 Comments

Is this a restful season for you?

I was thinking of this as I was putting the kitchen gardens to bed for the winter. The garlic was long ago planted, and everything else has been either pulled up or pruned, and a nice thick layer of mulch put on top. It doesn’t feel like bracing for winter; it feels like tucking in children underneath warm coverlets and watching them fall asleep, snuggled in safely. My gardens are ready for rest, for a pause in the work of taking in sunshine and putting forth roots and growing and expending energy to fight pests. In a similar pause, my work of cultivating and harvesting and weeding also pauses. As I stood with my trowel at the end of the cleanup, I thought, “now my garden can rest.”

And the next thought was, “now…..can you?”

Advent Rest

Well, of course not. Because the inside work continues. I still must cook, clean, do laundry, homeschool. But during this time of Advent, it seems the races are on to do ever more: fill out the calendar with events, plan extra baking, create or purchase gifts, and so forth. But I do wonder if on those Advent days it might be worthwhile to set aside time to daydream, watch the sunset, call out the owls, and take walks. Sometimes creation just beacons.

Maybe it’s not creation calling after all. Maybe it’s Jesus. And maybe He knows that if I take time to watch the wind blow through the firs He will find a more ready ear. You know how sometimes you (or maybe it’s just me but I doubt it) open the laptop for “just 5 minutes…” and then it’s suddenly two hours later? I’m just wondering. How come that doesn’t more readily happen in prayer? Or Bible reading? Or in meditating on His Word? Like, “Oops! Spent too much time with You, God!”

Sometimes I am like this empty greenhouse. Ready for the Potter but I don’t make the capital T Time for Him to start planting more. So the spirit stands ready but the body and mind are operating like whirlwinds in a pinball machine, simply hitting things and making lights bling and bells sound but not really accomplishing anything. Not really.

Sometimes God will use a trial to draw you. Maybe you don’t have enough money for the gifts you want to buy. Maybe you don’t even have enough to fill the gas tank. Maybe you just got a divorce or your daughter was rude to you or the invitation to the party didn’t come or the doctor’s news wasn’t good. Sometimes a little navel gazing is good, to examine ourselves. Mainly, this too is an opportunity to draw near to Christ. There is nothing more important in times good OR bad than to draw near to Christ. But sometimes it takes a hard thing in our lives to even acknowledge Him at all. And to remember how we accepted good things–no, expected good things–because…well…we breathe air. But even the air we breathe is a gift. Advent is a good time to practice gratitude.

The fruit trees are pruned and the barn is quiet. Surely there are times of the Lord taking away from us. What probably hurts most are the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) idols we have put before Christ. There is a reason and a season for any loss, but in the end we have His promise that He which hath begun that good work in us will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ (see Phil 1:6). We can trust Christ to order our steps, so we can rest in Him working all things out. Advent is a good time to contemplate and reminisce of all of the times past He has given each of us rest, even from some things and people we thought were so important to and in our lives. And because He is faithful, we can cultivate trust this season by spending time, even extra time, reading and studying His words, in His Word. And, really, what’s really more important than that?

Resting is good for the soul. It is good for the body and mind, too. Winter here brings us to darkness around 4:30 in the afternoon. But the curse of electric power is the ability to stay up later and longer. Sometimes we are too smart for our own good, trying to get in extra chores, extra reading, extra (fill in the blank) long into the night, until we at last literally collapse into our beds, exhausted. And yet the list is not in actuality crossed off, for in the new day a fresh one appears. And appears. And appears. And we must gain some measure of accomplishment, some pride over doing our duties well and diligently, if we forsake sleep(s) to do so. And yet, God grants His beloved sleep (see Ps 127:2). Perhaps if more candles were lit and blue screens blown out, our bodies would know proper rest. Perhaps we take advantage of the earlier darkness to close our eyes sooner this Advent?

I allow my animals to rest, too. I cannot bring myself to give my hens supplemental light. Sentimentality, perhaps. But I’ve yet to have an eggless winter, even if the quantity decreased. The Lord provides in times of quiet, too. Perhaps if you are caring for animals, there is some way to lessen the workload. Maybe a season off of breeding, or insuring a winter load of hay is in the barn so to avoid frequent trips to the supplier, or even downsizing. There are seasons for everything, yes?

Advent can be a time of gaining new awareness, of practicing observation and opening our eyes more and tuning our ears. It is one thing to see and hear of a need and to jump up and volunteer to help. It is another to first take those needs to the Lord, diligently pray for them, and to wait. Maybe we are called to serve in that need. But maybe we aren’t. And we don’t have to do every traditional craft or event we always have done, just because we’ve always done it. Following Jesus throughout this season–and in fact every season–being yoked with Him, is never a burden, never harried nor heavy. It is a joy that we often do not take the time to pursue because we are too busy with our hands into too many places and our minds onto too many things. “Resting” just sounds, well, not very *productive*. Perhaps this Advent is a good time to challenge that thinking.

My family has a lot of decisions to make this upcoming year. In fact, I’m calling it “the year of decision”. The choices are laid before us and we wait to hear from the Lord so as to follow Him. As we wait on Him, and ultimately wait FOR His coming, His return, He commands us many, many times in Scripture to rest, to be at rest. Do you? Are you?

I am still a student at this and still rise too early, stay up too late, eat the breads of sorrows. I know it is difficult to put aside the clamor of our current lives and lifestyles. But I do believe it is a worthy endeavor to spend some time contemplating how our manner of walking in this world goes, and if it matches well to that of our Master. What is Advent really for, if not to prepare for His coming? And if He calls us to rest, ought we not to consider our ways, repent where needed, and obey?

Again, is this a restful season for you? Do you need to rearrange anything in heart, mind or time to allow yourself to have that rest?

Matthew 11:28-29 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Blessings,

Because We Need a Little Christmas…In the Kitchen

November 29, 2013 Leave a Comment

The bad news is that I’m having serious website issues so please excuse any mess while we try to fix mistakes we didn’t ourselves make to begin with but are sure to add to as we muck about in mires we are mostly clueless about. If you really want to know what’s going on, sign up for my email list because if this site tanks I can at least keep you posted about probable comical somersaults in trying to repair things. Like, for a small instance, what happened to spellcheck? Or, for a bigger instance, why can’t I log in–what’s with the blank screen? And why have my social media links disappeared *again*?? Oy, the bane of bloggers…

The good news (for us all) is that I’m able to (for now) put up a post that might inspire you to sweeten up your kitchen for the holidays. Every other room in my house says “fall-leaves-Thanksgiving-crafts-autumn-pumpkins everywhere-please clean me mess”. But my kitchen, the one room I spend most of my time in, says, “please come in here and make some rich hot cocoa and put on some Christmas music and sit and sigh and think about Advent”. Maybe I let the kids decorate the rest of the house while I’m sipping out of my Christmas mug, sitting on the kitchen countertop, *not* trying to think of another way to fix my website mess.

Anyhoooo, here is what I did with one area. And I don’t recommend tearing up your own at 10:00 at night. Just sayin’.

BEFORE

The first thing I did was remove everything to get a feel for it as a blank canvas. Then I removed the shelves, put up a background of wrapping paper, and replaced the shelves (all cleaned of course!). I decided I wanted a more spacious look, with less on the shelves, and of course for the area to remain useful. I put the drinking glasses and some of the bowls into another cabinet. And then I shopped in the bulk foods at my local market and filled mason jars with pretty Christmas candies that we could use for decorating, for mixing into hot cocoa, and for eating then and again. Like while grumbling about techie stuff.

I propped up a plate, taped up some mini ornaments, and displayed ribbons and sprinkles and honey sticks and little happy things.

This “mug holder” has a funny story. I once saw a gorgeous French bottle dryer in a book and thought it was amazing. My son and I looked around online and finally found one for sale. For $400. Yes, four hunnnnndred dollars. Later that weekend we stopped in at a vintage holiday shop (or shoppe…) and my eye caught this little one, a replica of course, but it was $22. SOLD! These little mugs fit perfectly. One of my daughters and I rummaged through our cookie cutters and pulled out the Christmasy ones, stuck them in a jar and topped it all with a doily. It reminds us to use them, like for pancake shapes or for tracing.

And you can either ignore that broken outlet in the background, or allow it to give you some comfort that things around here break just like they do at your house.

Of course we needed Christmas lights. I mean, really. If you do nothing else at all in your kitchen but add a strand or two of Christmas lights, you, too, may want to keep them up until Valentine’s Day. It offers an instant cafe look (just add some chalkboard to your kitchen and you are there). Now that I think of it, it might be fun to *wrap* my white cabinet with other gift wrap or ribbon.

AFTER

kitchenafterdecoration

Perhaps now I go work on the other side of the kitchen. (UPDATE: You can see the other half here)

Happy decorating!

Blessings,

Scrappy Sewn Candy Canes

November 24, 2013 Leave a Comment

This sciatic injury has taken away some things I like to do…like pilates, like horse riding, like walks down my gravel road. A month later, the pain is not keeping me up at night but I still have some nerve damage in my leg and foot, so I am finding less active things to do. And yes, I’ve gained five pounds!

We were blessed to be invited to Thanksgiving supper this year. A lovely couple with two children gave us the invite and after I responded, “you do realize there are nine of us…?” we were smilingly and graciously encouraged to come. And all I have to bring is the delicious sour cream jello dish (that I got from Susan’s Branch Autumn book) and my mother’s baklava. I am looking forward to meeting new friends, enjoying some hospitality, and yes…watching football before the game becomes ridiculously unlike what it was and almost still is (don’t get me started).

Soooo…instead of planning Thanksgiving, I’ve skipped ahead to planning and decorating for Christmas. It’s ok. I used to not cut down our tree until Christmas Eve….so it’s not too early, right?

I’ve been wanting to do something with these pretty pink and red scraps for a while. So I piled them onto the table and just enjoyed looking at them, thinking of what to do. Don’t you ever do that? Just *look* at your supplies and find beauty in them?

After drawing a sketch of a candy cane on a piece of cardboard, I used it to trace onto the back of a piece of fabric laid onto another, good sides facing one another. Then I stitched over the chalk lines, leaving an opening at the bottom for stuffing.

I just loved (and love!) working on my featherweight. It’s an amazing little machine. Someday I’m going to get my Singer treadle going, too.

After I sewed onto the lines, I used pinking sheers to cut about a quarter itch outside of the lines. Then I carefully turned the canes right side out, using a blunt wooden knitting needle to help me poke the ends out. I gave them all a quick press to set the stitches.

Then I spent many evenings listening to Little Britches with my children while my 9 year old daughter helped me stuff the canes and sew up the openings. The audio book was excellent but there was one cowboy near the end who liked to softly swear. And yes, it bugged Little Britches, too. But that’s life; we all live around people who say/think/believe/do things that we personally feel are nuts. We all need to learn how to live amongst them….and they need to learn to live around us 🙂

Here they are finished, in a basket I made a few years ago. Don’t they look pretty?!

I have a little list of handcrafts I want to try this Christmas season, and yes, some of the ideas were from Pinterest! If you follow my boards, you can see what I find. Many years ago I had lonnnnng lists of links to share; Pinterest has sure made sharing easy.

Do you have your own little (or long!) list of ideas to try your hand at? I guess one of the blessings in being forced to sit (or lie) down is the opportunity to tackle some of those things that bring me a little joy.

Blessings,

Christmas Card Art: From Pinterest to Pin-ter-DO

November 20, 2013 3 Comments

I love how you can learn so many things on the internet. I think the trick is to not simply pop everything onto Pinterest for that nebulous “whenever” but to actually try your hand at some of the things that inspired you to pin them in the first place. Many thanks go to Christy Tomlinson for the tutorial that inspired these works of art.

I used Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest for the background. I like hunting in used book stores for old devotionals and hymn books to use, both for reading and for artwork.

I understand the reasons some Christians forgo using Christmas trees. And I’m sure they understand why some of us still do. Aren’t you glad it’s not an issue of primary importance?

I had so much fun doing these that I invited my daughters and some of their friend to make their own. The table was full of papers, stamps, paints, and mod podge. Glitter. Laughter. I think they were slightly flummoxed by how *messy* my own art was!

They did a great job! And yes, there was glorious glitter everywhere! What’s Christmas art without glitter?

Of course I had to make another one with them. Here I used an enlarged photocopy from the Bible for the verse.

I’ve been planning the handwork and crafts I want to do this Christmas season with (and without) my children, using inspiration from places like Pinterest. How big are your Pinterest boards? Are you going to try doing some of the things that inspire you there this month?

Blessings,

One Happy Home Morning

November 18, 2013 Leave a Comment

I thank God for nights of unbroken sleep, but it took many nights of awakenings to cultivate that gratefulness. Isn’t it interesting, how entitled we feel with regards to our blessings, God’s grace, that when His hand is removed from one or more of them we feel angry, frustrated, or sad (or is that just ME?). As many nights in my life I’ve slept through, I can’t remember regularly waking with thankfulness for the quiet, the blankets, the work of restoration. After years of crying babies and barking dog patrols and wee hour childhood vomits and even physical pains–these things continuing still–drawing me up from the fold of my sleep, I have learned to be more thankful for the times when my eyes open first at dawn.

Do you read your Bible in the morning?

Psalms 5:3 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

I credit BSF for the habit of my morning Bible reading that was cultivated over 13 years ago. I think sometimes it is easy to get stuck, to seek a reading plan or study or even the proper paper and pens before opening the Word. Those things are useful tools, but the main thing is, you don’t need them. You just need a Bible. An open one.

morningBible

I enjoy getting into the kitchen before anyone else and believe a good morning here begins the night before. If my kitchen is clean and the floors swept the night before, I don’t have to spend my first hour in the morning digging out of a mess just to find breakfast. Instead, I can heat hot water and make tea and plan the morning meal in peace. Usually by this time I am hearing thumps and bumps upstairs of children jumping down from bunks, and toilets flushing, and babies squawking.

morning tea and eggs

My kitchen chores in the morning are more busy than at any other time. Maybe I have soaked nuts from the night before to dehydrate. Or meat to defrost. Or a crockpot to start. My calendar is also there and I’m busy mentally planning the day or jotting down phone calls I need to return.

soaking almonds

Speaking of planning meals, we are overrun with pumpkins and squashes! They are all over the house, on counters, on the fireplace mantle, on the floors…. Thankfully, the babies haven’t smashed anything yet as they wobble about the house, carrying them in their fat little arms.

pumpkins

Most mornings I’m able to take time to answer emails and read my Twitter feed (or post a blog!). And I don’t know exactly why, but making my bed every morning just feels good. It is pleasant to see a made bed throughout the day, even if I’m stepping over landmines of toys and legos everywhere else.

computer

At some point in the morning, sometimes I get a chance to lay down a layer of paper or read a chapter of homework or finish up a project. Most of my art journaling happens in 15-20 minutes spurts, here a little, there a little. From here I can watch my children feeding the chickens and letting out the ducks, and enjoy the dogs romping in play.

journal

Most of the rest of my morning is busy with homeschooling and household chores and caring for our babies. Running around here we have our 18 month old and of course Ruby (I can see I need to update on her!). Today I am baking pumpkin–again (for muffins, soups, pancakes…) and making sourdough pizza dough for a time of outdoor wood-fired pizza making with friends.

cook pumpkins

Our mornings are pretty happy around here. I need to be more thankful for them!

Blessings,

If There’s an Empty Barn, Rejoice

November 11, 2013 Leave a Comment

Habakkuk 3:17-18 Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The last of our goats left last weekend.

Kinder goats

They went to a lovely home,

one where I may be able to regain some dairy goats someday.

If.

It’s awfully quiet around here though. No hooves on the feeders.

No maa-aaa’s in the morning. Or milk.

My second daughter said my dog was whimpering in the barn.

I think he misses his herd. I need to give him lots of reassurance.

maremma dog

I rejoice that I had the opportunity to raise and use our dairy goats. The empty barn stings, but I remain steadfast in my trust in the Lord to lead me to what is next.

Blessings,

Longing for Your Dream? Practice.

November 7, 2013 2 Comments

I’ve been thinking, that in my quest to live a quiet(er) life, too often I think of my YiaYia and the little two room house she lived in, as if turning Waldonesque would center my heart. I realize, logically, that this is not so, that discontent is not easily assuaged by change in circumstance or locale. But I do think that, much like an unbalanced washing machine, ignoring or suppressing or putting off those little wisps of dreams or desires doesn’t soften the walk; it just bangs away inside, louder and louder, causing damage. Some would say, as Christians, this is prime opportunity to”die to self”. But what if it is just that, alone, just “dying”? Sometimes you need to stop the machine, rearrange everything, and restart.

Everyone has a dream; mine is that I crave a simpler life. I want to depend on my garden and use the store as a nicety. I want to be without debt, too. But a life of simplicity is not free of hard work, and I’m not sure our family is ever going to be ready to pull the plug and “restart”. But too many folks–and I have been guilty–are dreaming of things *way out there* in Someday Land while at the same time forgoing the time and opportunity to practice for it right here, right now.

Do you dream of being an artist? Then practice and do a drawing or a painting everyday.

Do you dream of becoming a blacksmith, a baker, a dog-trainer? Then read a little on the subject(s) every week.

You can pick at projects, here 15 minutes and there another chapter and tomorrow another row of knitting. It all adds up, it moves forward, it inches towards something that feels Right and Good.

Practice.

And someday you might have pumpkins and squash enough to feed your family for the year.

Want Simplicity? Practice.

You might see glimmers of homeschooling success.

You may realize, hey, I know how to grow, harvest, powder, use and prepare all sorts of foods and medicines with garlic! (Call I call myself an herbalist yet?)

I’m a long way from living the life I desire, but in this time of waiting I’ve learned that today is all I have. And today, at the very least, I can practice.

Blessings,

A Happy Home is Not Painless

November 2, 2013 2 Comments

Nothing brings out true colors like the palette of suffering. I wrote about this earlier and it still remains one of the most popular posts. Suffering is an excellent schoolteacher, both in your own life and in the life of others.

SUFFERING IN YOUR OWN LIFE

PHYSICAL PAIN

I took a wrong move on a horse–she went zing, I went zam–and soon enough I was introduced to sciatica. I knew about sciatica, but I did not know sciatica. It is an intense electrical leg cramp from the thigh down, numbness crawling through my calf and toes, the damaged nerve angry and slow to heal. Thankfully, it is expected to heal and I can already see a lot of progress.

Not much gets our attention like physical suffering. This sciatica pain is hard to ignore! One thing that this pain is teaching me is what I really think about health and healing. As a Christian, I believe God made our amazing bodies to be self-regulating (it can throw a fever when needed) and self-healing (it can repair its own cuts). That doesn’t mean every physical ailment will be healed this side of the veil, but in a perfect world (someday!), that is how our bodies were designed to operate.

I also believe that God gave us herbs to use for healing; it is His gift to us, His medicine. We lack so much knowledge in that realm because, truthfully, plants can’t be patented. So we steal from God’s design, formulate pharmaceuticals based on them, and then not only provide an inferior product, but charge exorbitant amounts for it. And then tax everyone to the grave to pay for it all instead of teaching things like how to dig up a dandelion and make a tincture.

I know this. And yet I STILL cried like a baby for a drug, any drug, get me a drug! All it took was this very light and very momentary pain (my spirit knows this to be light and momentary even though my body begs to differ) to show for how little I was willing to throw out my beliefs about healing. I took a couple of doses of supposed painkiller and it did nothing except hack through my liver. And I am glad for it! What has helped me the most, what has led to fluttering through the numb areas and more time up and walking rather than writhing on the ground, are two things: chiropractic, and homeopathy. In other words, health care that at its core vibed with my previously stated belief that our bodies were meant to be self-healing and self-regulating, and supporting its effort to do so is what I really want to do.

Why does this matter? Because conflicts clarify! You may *think* if such-and-such physical ailment happened to you, you might do this-and-that. But sometimes all it takes is a dose of reality to really (a) support and strengthen your beliefs, or (b) mash them around and come up with some new ones. For me, going through this pain very much strengthened how I wish to support this earthly body.

Besides clarifying health care beliefs, physical pain also gives you an opportunity to show how self-centered you really may be. When you are sick, do you deserve the care you receive, or do you accept it with humility and appreciation? Are you annoyed when “proper care” is not forthcoming? Do your needs trump everyone else’s? Joni Eareckson Tada gave an excellent message sharing her story of how God used (and uses) her physical ailments to heal the things that concern God the most, and it is not always the physical problem.

EMOTIONAL PAIN

The spotlight on idolatry is at hand with emotional pain. Whether someone has hurt your feelings or you’ve been at the end of unjust accusations, what is revealed is to where or to whom or to what you run to to ease the suffering. I’ve been known to reach for the bag of chocolate chips (you know, the kind I keep on hand “for baking”) when I’m frustrated or mad. This is a far cry from departing to a quiet place to speak to my Father, which was the example Jesus left for me. Other folks try to salve their inner wounds with alcohol (deadening the pain), too much exercise (pursuing the endorphin rush), or with controlling others (exalting themselves). Some overeat, some overreact, and some hide behind excess laughter or flattery.

When we run with our heart-hurts to somewhere other than the cross, we are showing with our feet where our spirit is lost.

Emotional pain is just another tool in the Master’s hand. He will use it to chisel away and reveal any hypocrisy or idolatry. He will use it to bring greater humility and a compassion for others groaning under similar conditions. And He expects the church to minister to even in emotional pains, to offer support and counseling on a foundation of Biblical truth. Even if our physical bodies fail us (and they will), even if our minds rust or our emotions crack (yep), our spirit is being renewed day by day and we can hold fast to that.

2 Corinthians 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

SUFFERING IN THE LIFE OF OTHERS

Pain in the life of others is for your benefit and instruction as well. How you respond to another person’s suffering clarifies the condition of your heart, and in essence holds a mirror up to it. Many people are grieving over the fall of Doug Phillips. But there is also much glee (which I won’t link to).

To have any sense of smug satisfaction because of the pain of another is a reflection of how little the Gospel is understood. There ought to be no self-righteousness, no pride, no thought of how much better our own lives are because of, we believe, our own efforts or that we are more faith-filled or more knowledgeable or more careful. Instead we put our hands to our hearts and mouths, there but for the grace of God go I. Not only that, but we all in some manner HAVE been there, done that.

1 Corinthians 6:11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God…

To have any ugliness at all in our hearts reveals that we believe we are, in essence, pretty good and decent people (unlike, say, some *others* we are not as bad as). We’ve replaced the mirror of the ten commandments with following our own hearts to hell.

Jesus answered to those that may have any semblance of haughtiness at all:

Luke 13:2-3 And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

1 Corinthians 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

WAYS TO SUFFER RIGHTLY

PRAY

Run to the Father. FIRST. Cry to Him for mercy, pray for discernment, allow Him to reveal to you what lessons He intends through this. Yes, you can even pray for healing! Do not be as a donkey, having no understanding and needing the bigger bit; let Him reveal to you what He sees in your heart, and deal with any ugliness at the cross.

John 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.

WORSHIP

Remember that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Even creation groans. It is one thing to know we live in a fallen world; it is quite another to physically or emotionally enter into that understanding in a whole new way. Let your suffering remind you that we are not to set our affections on things here below, but on things above. Remember that in eternity, our time here really is as a vapor, and our afflictions are really light (compared to the afflictions Christ bore on our behalf) and momentary. Praise the Lord that He works everything for our good!

Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

LEARN

Reflect on what your suffering and the suffering of others is revealing to you about YOU. Conflicts do, indeed, clarify. And compassion for others flows when we understand our own failings and know that we are all sin-filled and worthy of eternal judgement, not just temporal and earthly pain. Repent, and thank God for the gift of repentance.

Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

1 Timothy 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners…

SERVE

Don’t waste your pain. Take the lessons you learn from it and not only strengthen the body of Christ but use it to make clear the gospel. Others shall surely suffer from the same affliction(s) as you; you are called to minister to them, to pray and meet what needs you can, and to gently turn them continually to the cross.

Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.

Suffering is a hard education, but it is one that God uses to spur us to holiness. In this way, we can even give thanks in this time of pain.

Some falsely teach that a happy home is painless, that with a word or a decision you can just be happy. And many people come here searching for how to make that “happy home” because in some way suffering has entered their lives (I am glad you are here, by the way). I must tell you, however: it is not that a happy home will never grieve, never fight sin, never see physical pain or financial ruin. A happy home is never based on our circumstances, it is based on the Word of God, and He says that a happy home has Jesus as Lord. In the midst of suffering, and suffering WILL come, lift your heart to praise God. He still reigns and is still working all things for our good and His glory, and that is what matters the most in this teeny amount of time we have here.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Psalms 144:15 Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea,happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.

Blessings,

3 Reasons to Art Journal

October 28, 2013 Leave a Comment

1. It’s quiets the mind, especially on an evening in front of a fire

(even if it’s just from propane). Music optional.

art journaling

2. It’s a little of everything: collage, pencils, watercolor, stuff (AKA as ephemera). Good for the indecisive or bored

3. It’s hard to be in two places at once when journaling. It fosters presence.

Blessings,

I Don’t Do Facebook…I Painted My Kitchen Instead

October 24, 2013 7 Comments

Not participating with Facebook is interesting. For one, some folks find that almost impossible, almost as impossible as, say, not owning a smart phone. I casually mentioned my said absence to a barista wanting to sign me up for coupons (“Just *like* us!”).

“Oh, I like you all just fine! I’m just not on Facebook…”

She practically sputtered into my latte, “But the whole world’s on Facebook!”

Yes, I know.

S’ok. Really. I’m also not on Google Plus or My Space or (…I can’t even think of any others…). But, I *AM* on Twitter.

I know my limitations. 140 letters and nowhere really to get lost.

I have trouble getting lost. Distracted. And before I know it I’ve spent countless hours on the computer and not much of it for the glory of God or to further His Kingdom or to encourage or minister to anyone at all.

Sometimes it’s lonely. I want to go to the party. I want to see the pictures flying around of a new baby. I want to be involved with the announcement that there IS a new baby. I want to LOL with new and old friends and…well…be relevant. I want the “like”.

But more importantly I want to live in integrity. If I say I want deeper relationships but only skim them online, I’m a liar. If I say I want to read more books but spend all my time skimming the internet, I’m deceived. If I say I just don’t have the time for (fill in the blank) but actually spend precious minutes behind a computer instead, I convince myself soundly of hypocrisy.

Do you ever feel addicted to the internet, to the call of distraction, of mindlessness? I do. I try (TRY) to choose my internet meanderings and the time there wisely. Sometimes it is really hard. I want to have “friends”.

But I don’t do Facebook. So I painted my kitchen instead.

Here are the BEFORE pics. Lovely kitchen, but the dark cabinets were soaking up whatever limp light I could get into the room. My husband and son added a couple more lights in the ceiling, but I knew that a paint job would just help immensely. Plus, I am honestly not this formal. I want our guests to kick off their shoes and feel at home.

And here are the AFTER pictures:

I removed the cabinet doors from above the stove. They always felt so imposing to me. They are now open shelves. I also made two of the cabinet doors into chalkboards.

I painted yellow above the cabinets, too. I figured that with the yellow, green and red, I now could have a real honest-to-goodness APPLE kitchen. I removed some of the upper doors and mixed my dishes up with cookbooks and things like jars of buttons and dried roses and beehive smokers. Things I love.

Isn’t the green yummy? It is Benjamin Moore’s Daphne Green. The yellow is Concord Ivory.

I won’t even tell you how long it took me to do this project. But it was here a little, there a little. I cleaned, I sanded, I primed, I put on three coats. My 13 year old son took off doors, removed and cleaned and replaced hinges, and set them back into their proper places. And my other children kept babies from finger painting in it all. It was a group effort 🙂

The doors under my sink went buh-bye too. I knew I’d find a way to put burlap in my kitchen someplace!

The cabinets between my kitchen and dining room were done as well (did I mention how long this project took me? No?). One thing that happened was that I got rid of the chinaware and wine glasses and everything else that was *supposed* to be in those cabinets but I never used. Instead I put in tea cups, bunches of quilts, old photographs, kid-made treasures. Who says a kitchen only has to have “kitchen” goods in it?

The upper cabinets were painted with a color called Cottage White (from a paint company I long lost the name of) that I had Benjamin Moore copy for me.

And….I KNOW!!! CHECK OUT MY DANDELION MURAL!!!! The most dearest sweetest friends worked on it for me for months. While sitting on the FLOOR. That big expanse of cabinetry just said, “canvas” to me and I sheepishly asked one day, “Would you ever like to do a mural?”. Because I love botany and herbs, I wanted a plant. And the humble dandelion is one of my favorites; she’s like the black sheep of the herb world, y’know? You can barely make out the puffs blowing off into the wind. In case you’re curious, the lettering on the left spells “Blessing”.

I just love love love this mural. If I ever move, it is coming with me somehow. It’s like getting a hug from my friends every time I see it.

They signed their names on ladybugs. How adorable is that?!

Lastly, here is the little nook area by the kitchen. These cabinets, like the rest, were all dark brown. And another friend gave me this chair. I love it!

A painted window seat in the corner…

…and the backside of the kitchen. I love the playful colors and remodel. All it took was about $100 in supplies, and TIME. Did I mention time? I suppose I ought to also mention how much I hate painting. Honestly.

Do you struggle with distraction? Are you spending *time* on the things that matter most to you? It is an ongoing process for me, learning to live a life with quietness (both inside and out). Completing this crazy huge project is just a small thing that made me feel like the struggle is worth it.

Blessings,

Seven Considerations Before Starting (or Continuing) a Blog

October 19, 2013 2 Comments

woman blogging

photo credit: Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com via photopin cc

This is my second blog. I began the first one in 2006 and deleted it to who knows where in etherspace in 2008. I had struggled with where I fit in the internet world and many of my readers resonated with the tension between the desire to live a life marked by simplicity and focus….and the need for connection and sharing.

I recently revisited the reasons I took that blog/internet break and thought I’d share some considerations for you if you are pondering beginning–or continuing–a blog.

Are you getting enough interaction with real people, face to face? Social media and its cousins cannot help but foster shallow relationships simply because of the nature of the tools themselves. Many people are very “connected” online, but in reality feel very lonely. Are you getting enough real eye contact, voice tones and body language in your life every day?
Do you expect your readers to be as forthcoming with you as you are with them? That is, if you share an opinion, a photograph, a lesson or a pondering, are you perfectly satisfied if no one leaves a comment? Or if your friends “already know” about your current projects before you can tell them in person? In other words, can your work be a straight out gift, or do you hope for returns?
Are you writing for any other reason? Do you write in a journal, or write letters? Or is your entire effort in your writing revolve around seeing your readers as potential wallets? Are you willing to write and share for free?
Does the idea of fasting from the computer or even your smart phone freak you out? Would you even consider a vacation that did not have internet access? In other words, how much does the internet world rule your life? And….are you at peace with that?
Are you making progress with other goals and things you want to learn? Have you actually tried your hand at making soap or butchering a chicken or snowboarding or composing a musical score? Remember when you were a kid and always wanted to go fishing (or *whatnot*)….have you been listening at all to that kid lately? Do those *whatnots* need some attention?
How are you doing physically? Eating the right foods? Getting enough sleep? Or do you grab for the corn chips and stay up past midnight planning blog posts? Can you take a walk and NOT compose status updates in your head the entire day?
If someone were to ask your family about the time you spend on the computer or how distracted you are by your smart phone, what would they say?
And bonus…what’s more likely: your nose in your Bible or the blue glow of a screen on your face? And…does it matter to you?

Ultimately, the question is this: are you living in integrity with the priorities you say are yours? Blogging, much like anything else, can be a blessing or a curse. Make sure it’s a blessing to you.

Visit Our Studio!

October 12, 2013 5 Comments

It is really fun to podcast with my husband, and I encourage you to give one of our shows a listen if you haven’t done so yet. Would you like to see our studio? Enjoy!

Fall: Time to Harvest (Fruit), Time to Plant (Ideas)

October 9, 2013 1 Comment

Right on cue, the rains have fallen and the winds have begun to dust the alders and firs outside my home. Autumn is here! Down the gravel drive, unpicked blackberries lie limp on the vine, their leaves turning reddish and preparing to die down for the season. I am thankful for it. I love this season of putting things to rest, planning out winter handwork, and introverting more than usual, even for me. It’s more of a mosey time, where I’m really in no hurry to do much of anything at all. It’s also nice to put the kettle on and sit on the peeling outdoor table, taking in the mess of garden clean up with a friend that drops by, watching the late sunlight glint on bowed sunflowers and webby dill heads.

The treehouse is finished. Or should I say, the “tree mansion”. When I climbed up to have a good look around, I told my son, “Gee, this is will be a great studio for me! Thanks!” (har har) Occupants have a really good view of the long gravel driveway, so between the dogs and the air-soft guns, visitors ought to proceed with caution.

A Treehouse You Could Live In

Music has begun again in earnest, and quartets are forming. Autumn is full of lovely days to have friends over and send out musical notes to harmonize with the birdies outside. These kids of mine (plus one!) are full of business venture ideas.

quartet on the porch

We’ve harvested lots and lots (and lots) of pumpkins and squashes. They practically took over the gardens! It is amazing how much food can come out of a garden.

small pumpkins

And, yes, we live in the Pacific Northwest. And, no, we haven’t been on the receiving end of this many (RIPE) tomatoes for many, many years. It was that kind of summer, one we’ll remember in later years about how we got sick of fresh tomatoes and didn’t even cry at what was left rotting on the vines.

heirloom tomatoes in the Pacific Northwest!

Myself, I took a little vacation. I went to Portland for four days to attend an art retreat and flew all around the city in my little 18 year old Honda with printed Google maps in hand. (Who needs a smart phone when you can chat to the locals?) I discovered Blick’s art supplies and many, many wonderful little shops full of vintage household goods and handmade papers and delicious homemade macaroons. And Stumptown Roasters, where after one visit the barista welcomed me to Portland and deftly punched out a complete card so that my next coffee was free. And $1.50 tacos and $3.75 cheeseburgers. And, of course, art!

This was the daily journal I began a month before the trip, fasting for 30 days from grains, dairy, sugars, legumes, and caffeine (even chocolate). I expected to feel amazing–to feel superhuman even–but at the end of it all, I finally went to my naturpath and was pronounced with *seasonal allergies*. Molds, spores, pollens, whatever….I guess I am ultimately allergic to the Pacific Northwest (sigh). But I can have my latte again. With a scone.

Whole30 food log

In addition to creating art, I went to a writing conference and spent two days out of my league and yet in the pool I wanted to swim in. I decided I had nothing to lose so raised my hand to practice my pitch to a publisher of 40 years in front of a class of writers…and was validated (and then spent the next 15 minutes outside chattering my teeth because I had been so nervous!) I offered to read my piece to a crowd, and after an encouragement to restart (I was so nervous I was reading too fast)…I was validated. I think what I came away with from that experience was: YES (publish) and YES (be very, very brave!).

Art & Soul trades

To find the time to do those things (retreat, write…), my homeschooling box needed some reshaping. Speaking with Mona Lisa and Kip Harding was such an encouragement to me! Even after homeschooling for almost 16 years, I was still falling into the traps of comparing what I do with others, with the system, with my cultural and familial childhood standards. I needed to hear from this mama that every family home schools differently, and that with the Lord leading, it will bloom. I am learning to *relax* and this year I am acting more as a supervisor than an instructor. It is definitely taking me out of the box I’ve been living in, but I’m already seeing some good things from it. Did I mention that this is the year for me to be BRAVE? This year we are more kid-interest-directed.

Ruby reading

Autumn is a good time to withdraw a little, to gather in the harvest and rethink the seeds to plant in the coming year. When changes are made, I find that creativity flows, even in household design. Furniture gets moved around, paint brushes come out. Here is our dining room, after a weekend of putting up paneling on one wall. I love how warm and cozy it made the room, and the bonus was that it was all made from scraps (unlike, say, that treehouse mansion!). We followed the directions here. I’ll show you my newly painted kitchen soon!

dining room wall paneling

May your autumn be refreshing and a blessing to you, too!

Trades for the Upcoming Art & Soul Retreat

September 26, 2013 9 Comments

One of the fun things going on at the Art and Soul Retreat is an opportunity to participate in trades. From what I understand, you bring some artwork or supplies or whatnot that you can *trade* with someone else at the event. I had no idea what I had to offer, but I thought I could at least make some blank cards.

trades1

I don’t know how those mixed media artists get such great backgrounds and color (thus….going to the retreat for classes 🙂 ) But I thought I would just dive in with what little I knew and go from there. That sounds like just so much of my life: diving in with what little I know and going from there.

For the background, I used one of my favorite devotionals: My Utmost for His Highest (did you know there’s an app for that classic?). I got this particular copy from a used bookstore to use specifically for artwork.

The gal is reminiscent of a drawing a 10 year old student for me two decades ago (she was a real sweetie). For the dresses, I used paper I had previously made with acrylic paints. Then I adhered the pieces on, used pen work and pastels and sequin waste. The gal was supposed to be holding the balloon. And then I thought, while reading these bits of devotionals….no, she really needs to let it go.

So she did. And scripture and life and experience gave ample words to put on those balloons.

Let go…of fear.

Let go….of believing you don’t have enough.

Let go…of perfectionism.

Let go…of believing your self-worth is tied to your productivity.

Let go…of what people think.

I figured that maybe these gals might be a blessing. And maybe the *right* person will get the *right* card and be encouraged where they need it. And then perhaps the *trade* will be for real. Trading things like comparison or shame for hope or peace.

On the backs are scripture. I know that All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness…(2 Timothy 3:16). Maybe it will comfort. Maybe it will convict. Maybe it will teach. But the Lord promises that they will not return void.

I’ll be putting my business card in each one. I’m only sorry I’m out of tracts 🙂 In any case, I am hopeful that these will be a little sunshine into whatever lives need that sort of warmth.

Blessings,

Ten Reasons I Use the King James Bible

September 23, 2013 Leave a Comment

Ten Reasons for the KJ Bible

I don’t know why but it always rubs me raw when King James readers are all lumped into whatever the clump d’jour is. Let’s be clear. Using a KJ Bible is not a salvation issue. The color of your Bible cover isn’t going to keep you from knowing the Lord, and other translations are used all over the world by bonafide, blood bought, spirit filled believers. I’d love for other Christians to stop patronizing KJ readers already. And, as an aside, if you happen to be one of those KJ readers questioning the salvation of NIV pink-cover carrying Christians, cut it out. I’m thoroughly annoyed by the zingers going both ways; this is not iron sharpening iron–this is poking at each other with chopsticks.

So, at the risk of sounding a little defensive (feel free to not read this), here are ten reasons why I use mine.

1. I love His Word. There is nothing better than time spent with it, with meditating on the Word, with turning it over in heart and mind. It is precious food for the believer, foolishness to the lost, sustenance and teaching and comfort and (as needed) rebuke. It continues to be the best selling book in the entire world, even though the New York Times won’t list it on its bestseller list (and, by the way, I believe Pilgrim’s Progress would be consistantly at number two).

2. I am thankful and humbled by the means it took to allow me to have such a wonderful book in my possession. Men and women and children went to their deaths rather than recant what that Book teaches, and they weren’t burned by pagans, by the way. Many went to damp and cold prisons because of their efforts to translate the Bible into English, and they continued to write there rather than go back to their warm homes and families, because they believed everyone ought to have the Word in a language they could understand.

3. Which brings me to one reason the King James is so beautiful and understandable. It was put together at the high point of our language, at just the right time, readied for a language that would sweep the entire world from one end to another. No other language reaches more people in the world than English. Much like the timing of our Lord’s sacrifice and the Roman roads that were ready to propagate the gospel, this Book in English was ready for generations and nations to come to accomplish the same goal: propagating the gospel. The point is always that: the gospel going out.

4. So why not use other translations that are, basically, English? One reason is that the English language has been in decline over the past few centuries. You can see this simply in comparing the newspapers (or even the readers of school children) of the day between then and now. Vocabulary, sentence structure, the need for attentiveness…all have slid lower and lower over time. Making the Bible more current is never an update on the language.

5. And if making an update is supposed to make reading the Bible easier for today, it’s failed miserably. Doing a simple comparison of side by side reading makes it clear that more lofty sounding words and sentence structures have replaced words and form that even a child would understand.

6. Anyone that has studied poetry or read Shakespeare or even listened to rap music has some sense of rhythm, alliteration, repetition and so forth. The King James, under the mastery of the translators, keeps delicious form. There is a cadence to it, which makes memorization far more easier, which in turn makes the Word easier to come to mind and meditate on (both day and night…when it might be too dark to be reading…).

7. And speaking of those translators, these were men of the highest caliber, not only chosen for their love for the Lord and His precious Word, but because of their incredible training and knowledge in language, theology and history. These men sent translated manuscripts all over the country to ensure they were handling the Word of God rightly and in truth. They feared God, and did not undertake the task with flippancy, trying to create a niche market for whatever segment of people to appeal to. I would urge you to read the preface to the reader, the letter they wrote to us, to get a sense of why and how they worked.

8. But we know better now, right? Those are old, white, dead guys, right? Again, check their credentials for yourselves. The idea that just because their work commenced hundreds of years ago and therefore it is antiquated is foolishness. We are not smarter with more material now; we stand on the shoulders of giants as fleas. It is the height of pride to believe more highly than we ought, simply because it is the year 2013.

9. What about those “thee”s and “thou”s? This I hear mocked more than anything else. Listen. It is there NOT because “that’s how they talked back then”. It is there to help with understanding. It helps differentiate between things like “I love you” (you–the one person I am speaking to) and “I love you” (you all–everyone in front of me). It is there for clarity.

10. Lastly, I find that using multiple translations has divided the church. With everyone in the congregation choosing their own translation, there is no unity. The pastor reads from the pulpit and the people cannot in unison even in their minds say them from memory. I believe the Bible is supposed to make US bend to understand and study IT, and too many times we seek a translation that makes IT bend to serve US.

Like I said, this is not a salvation issue. If you want the translation that appeals to your environmental cause or patriotism or the current evangelical favorite, I am not going to hit you over the head with my Bible. Mock me if you must, but I shall continue to carry my King James Bible within my hands and near to my heart. And yes, I secretly hope that, someday, you will too.

Blessings,

Suffering–and What to Do With Old Journals

September 22, 2013 2 Comments

I pondered what to do with all of the old books, those thick notebooks full of prayers, thoughts, dreams and probably far too many complaints. They all sat on the floor for months, giving me time to flip through, read a little here and there. Some of it made me laugh. But lots of it made me pensive and sorrowful. I felt sorry for the girl-teen-woman in the pages, her hunger for self-worth and love so painfully raw. Part of me wanted to put them back into boxes, shoved back into the dark corners of closets, but the other part of me wanted to let them go, forever unavailable to eyes other than God. Ultimately, because these were tools for my own hashing out, they were destroyed.

I expected to feel sad. But I wasn’t. I was just ready to be a little more kind to me (does that idea seem unChristianly?).

There are many people I know or have read about that have real suffering in their lives, everything from depression to things that would make you weep. I wonder if they journal, if they talk with God. I also wonder about how we as Christians are the hands and feet of the Great Physician, and yet too many times what is offered are flippant platitudes and scripture tossed about carelessly. I have seen for myself how words out of the mouth ring shallow when the eyes don’t bother with the time to really look. I know Christians suffering who are told to “Just get over it”. It is shameful.

My great concern is how to share the love of Christ with the suffering, how to tell them of Jesus and plead for their souls, reminding them of their worth because they are made in His image. So many have so much shame that Law is the last thing they need–they are already fully aware and tender under its weight. But I also know this: because I have not felt their pain in the truest sense, my “suffering” being laughable by some standards, my words carry only as much weight as the attention of my eyes and heart. I don’t want to be high and unapproachable, seemingly unbitten by trials, stingy with any morsels of grace and love even as I offer up Truth. In this sense any words at all would fall flat, empty as flattery, as helpful as snake bites.

What else challenges me is this: do people I know that have seen real suffering have real access to those tea cups of mine? Can they mosey into my life at all? Would I, right now, be a friend to the young woman in my own journals?

So what do you do with your old journals? Do you save them in hopes of finally being understood someday? Do you keep them as a record to look back on (and does it help you to do so)? Are they full of historical and familial stories you want saved for your grandchildren? The right thing for me was to let them go. Maybe the right response to old journals depends on what they were used for to begin with.

Ironically (or not…), I received a blank mask in the mail to complete before the Art and Soul Retreat in Portland. I’ve never been on a retreat like this before, much less on a solo vacation. But I am looking forward to it, to learning new skills and hopefully making some new friends in a new realm. Strips of old journaling cover my face, because I know every bit of every word is still part of the make up of me even if the books no longer exist. Some say art heals. I say Jesus heals, but sometimes He uses art to see us through (not over) it.

mask from journals

Blessings,

To College by 12….and Beyond!

September 11, 2013 1 Comment

Harding-Family-2013

I was very blessed to speak with Mona Lisa and Kip Harding. They are the loving parents of ten children, and six of them have begun college coursework by the age of 12. At the time I was struggling with issues like, “Am I overloading the kids with academics? Chores? Are they getting enough play time? Enough time to pursue their own interests? (etc ad nauseum…)” and when Mona Lisa agreed to come on for our podcast I was SO RELIEVED!

Because you’ll find that this is a very loving and happy family. You’ll find children thankful for their education, their upbringing, and the FUN they had while learning. You’ll find this mom is NOT overwhelmed or burdened or burnt out from homeschooling. Do you need some encouragement? Do you need to maybe, step outside of what you’re currently doing and rethink it all?

Be blessed and encouraged, and may we all have God’s wisdom in bringing up our children for His glory.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

College By 12 (you can see newscast videos of their family here)

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Eat Well

August 30, 2013 3 Comments

eatwell

pastured eggs, kale, chanterelles, red onions, tomato, fig, seaweed

bulletproof coffee on the side

It doesn’t much matter that we know we’re eating junk. Guilt over the half bag of cookies? Check. Late night snacking? Check. Dare I say soda-pop? Check.

But, eh, you only live once and a little bit, moderation even, doesn’t hurt.

Except it isn’t true, and neither denial nor sincere belief will alter the biochemistry of what those foods are doing in and to our bodies.

Sometimes we know. We’re a little stuffy, a bit congested (“Just a cold” we say). We’re crashing every day at 2pm (time to hit the coffee pot). We feel a little stiff in our joints in the morning (getting older, I guess). Now and again we get a little headache, or heartburn, or cranky.

Aren’t you tired of the circus?

Why wait until January 1st? Why not start the next meal?

I know. It’s hard. It’s about impossible. Your brain will SCREAM at you to EAT.THAT.DOUGHNUT.NOW. You won’t be able to help putting the bags of chips into the cart. The produce department looks foreign and did you see the prices of grass-fed anything?

But you could change one thing. One thing. Maybe one tablespoon of syrup into your coffee instead of two. Maybe bake your own cookies instead buying the franken ones from the store. Maybe skip the jam and eat the whole fruit instead.

Maybe you pay for a pound of grass fed beef now, in exchange for the price you’ll pay otherwise at the pharmacy later.

And then, after a while of making small changes, it happens.

You actually will find kale tasty. Your eyes will widen at the fresh figs at market. You’ll see a loaf of bread and your brain will say, “eh”. Butter will become your best friend and you won’t want soda for even a sip because, well, it plain tastes nasty now. And there might be plenty of grass-fed, wild, pastured meats on the table.

Right now, every bite you take is making you healthier or sicker. Every.Bite.

You know there are plenty of websites, books, podcasts. You might feel lost in all of the information (even conflicting!) out there. It’s ok. Try something. See how your body feels, how it reacts. Just know that just about anything that smacks of wholesomeness and nutrient-density will make your body scream for a week (or three) like a two year old in a full-blown tantrum.

And you know what happens to toddlers if you just constantly give them what they want. And you know we end up drugging them later. Feed tantrums now=temper them with pharmaceuticals later.

Find a buddy to hold you accountable, to commiserate with. Start (or continue) to blog about your ups and downs. Journal. Keep a food log. Or, how about rip out a magazine picture of some kids and put it on the fridge with a pen marked over it: “FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN”.

Because, don’t you want to play with your grandchildren? On the grass? Throwing a ball? Taking a hike? Swimming with them?

Or do you just want to watch from a walker? Too stiff in the morning to play hide-and-seek? Hacking up mucous at lunchtime?

Do you want to have gorgeous skin? Stand tall?

Or slump over your shoulders into a hunch? And have frown lines dipping to your chest?

Eating well makes for a clear mind, an energetic body, and dare I say, a better outlook on life in general.

You’re going to get older (have you noticed that already?). How do you want to get there, into even “older”? And what kind of body do you want to be in?

Start building it today.

Last of August Break

August 29, 2013 1 Comment

Here’s the last of simple photos for my August break. We just came back from a road trip; it was wonderful!

PACK

7kids1hubby

HEAR

Ezekiel 43:2 And, behold, the glory of the God of Israel came from the way of the east:

and his voice was like a noise of many waters: and the earth shined with his glory.

Wenatchee river

WISH

basketball

YES

adirondack chair

SWEET

bells

SUNDAY MORNING

dawn

SMILE

horse

MY FAVORITE THING

trail riding

DETERMINATION

(AKA “No, I will NOT be going down the slide into the pool thankyouverymuch.”)

boy in pool

DAILY WALK

Keri Mae & baby

Blessings on your summer break(s),

Books

August 24, 2013 2 Comments

I’m down to the last stack of my journals to peruse and…well…get rid of. Getting rid of the early years of journaling, late teens, was easy; do I want anyone to find and read all that junk? Hardly! The recent stuff, however, is harder because I’m still processing through a lot of the same things and they don’t feel *done* with. And yet, the reason I write in my journal is to think, not necessarily to leave a record of my hashings. Perhaps in another couple of decades, these too will feel more like “junk”. I wonder what you all do with your own journals, if you keep them or not, and why.

books

Blessings,

Nightfall

August 23, 2013 Leave a Comment

nightfall

Far Away

August 22, 2013 Leave a Comment

I was wondering how I was going to capture this theme of “Far Away” for the August Break. Hubby obliged 🙂

faraway

White

August 21, 2013 Leave a Comment

white

white2

I love hollyhocks, but consider myself to be more of a dandelion 🙂

Looking Down

August 20, 2013 Leave a Comment

lookingdown

lookingdown2

Blessings,

Summer Break

August 19, 2013 Leave a Comment

Very much enjoying my August blog break. It’s given me opportunity to play with my camera more, work on schoolwork, do some other writing, and read a lot of books. Oh, and sleep 🙂 I hope you’re giving yourself some time through the year to pull back and rest a bit, too. (Wait, was that a blog post?)

STILLNESS

stillness

FLORAL

floral

MIDDAY

midday

Blessings,

Save the Blackberries!

August 16, 2013 2 Comments

Some kids in town protested in their own way the motorized cutters hacking back the brush from the roadsides near their homes. I hope their signs work!

Blackberry-sign-2

Blackberry-sign-1

Play

August 15, 2013 Leave a Comment

play

Red

August 14, 2013 1 Comment

reds

More of August

August 12, 2013 1 Comment

More of August Break

SKYLINE

skyline

HOME

home

SOMETHING OLD

somethingold

SAVOR

savor

Blessings,

More of Camera Play

August 10, 2013 Leave a Comment

Loving the August Break so far. Nice to break out of my comfort zone a little bit, grey hair, fine lines and all (they do fall in pleasant places, I think. Ps 16:6)

SELFIE

selfie

DIAGONALS

diagonals

TASTE

taste

Are you breaking out of your comfort zone a little this summer? Trying anything new?

Blessings,

Photographing an August Break

August 9, 2013 Leave a Comment

I was intrigued by Susanna Conway’s August Break. Basically, it is an opportunity to take a break from writing and just use pictures for the month of August. I can’t promise I won’t have anything to say all month, but I thought I’d jump in, try to catch up, and practice with my camera a little. Enjoy.

BREAKFAST

breakfast

CIRCLES

circles

YELLOW

yellow

LOVE

love

CLOSE UP

closeup

Blessings,

What to Do While Floundering

August 6, 2013 3 Comments

Or not. This is what *I’ve* been doing.

Ever since we tried to sell our house and then took it off the dumpy market, I’ve been turning it all upside down and redecorating, repainting, replanting, re-re-re-thinking about how to make the house I was (and still am, in a sense) ready to walk away from, into my *home* again. I decluttered multiple van loads to Goodwill and gained hundreds of dollars at garage sales, and started putting things into places that maybe were not “correct” but made me happy: like putting up piles of folded QUILTS behind the glass cabinets in the KITCHEN because I never really liked all of that china I used maybe four times in the last two decades anyway. Currently I’m looking for a ladder to hang in the kitchen on the ceiling. Why? Because I want to hang my herbs from the rungs. Gone are the thoughts of what looks like “it could sell” and finally settling in are thoughts of “this is Keri Mae’s nest”.

Adding to that, my husband decided we needed a farm-ette break and although I dragged (and cried) a bit, I concurred. The front garden is going away this fall and the livestock is slowly disappearing ala Craig’s List. And because of predators we weren’t expecting and no one invited. As everything goes, though, I can’t help but wonder: What am I supposed to do now with five whole acres and empty barns?

I don’t know. I guess that’s called floundering, that space in the “I don’t know” world. What to do? Have you ever been in that space of just not knowing what/where/how and when?

In the meantime, I am staying busy, even while floundering in the land of YoNoSe’. I am using my recent energies towards furthering my herbal and natural health studies, and am continuing to put together emergency supplies and resources for my family (something I’ve wanted to do for a long time; I thank the Lord we haven’t had a reason to need any of that yet). We got our will together (which we laugh about, because really, there’s nothing but an old 1995 Civic to pass along…). I am still writing: to myself, to friends, to dreams of publishing in the big marketplace of ideas. I am art-ing, loving mixed media especially, and I’m reading easily thirty-plus books all at once. Oh, and oh yeah, I’m still raising and homeschooling seven children–that takes some time too 🙂 More: I’m under the care and supervision of a friend who is making me dress a little nicer with clothes that have no holes and that fit (thank you!), making time for massage, for tea breaks with friends, and inviting more people over to our house.

It’s still very active in these parts. I just feel like my compass has moved and I’m not sure where the boat is going yet. Maybe I’m floating, not floundering.

Anyhow. Know what I mean? Yes.

This is the rough mural drawing that two friends are going to paint onto my kitchen cabinets. I wanted a dandelion for multiple reasons. And why can’t I paint a mural across my kitchen cabinets (that are now green, by the way…)

kitchen cabinet mural

Here’s a little birthday card I made for a friend. That was a fun thing to do, drawing and cutting and watercoloring one afternoon. I hope she likes it.

birthday card

birthday card inside

I recently got a new toy. The strap I got from Sassy Strap years ago when I was playing with my 35mm Nikon. But now, oooh, I can join the digital age!

Canon 60D camera

Of course I don’t really know how to use it yet. No worries, I have a 13 year old boy that is my personal IT guy. So here is the first “Yes, I now have a DSLR camera and here is the standard what-I-had-for-breakfast shot.” Grain-free pumpkin pancakes, sausage, egg omelette, and bulletproof coffee with whip (because everything tastes better with whip). I loooooove bulletproof coffee; so creamy, so filling, so satisfying. On the downsize, it sorta ruined coffee shops for me (it all tastes like pretty weak coffee-water to me now) but I guess that’s not too bad a thing on the pocketbook. And yes indeed, everything tastes better with a Stampington magazine on the side.

breakfast

I guess, overall, floundering’s not so bad. I wish I knew the road map, but the walk along the way isn’t so bad, and the opportunities for side roads and new things to experience and see are ever before me. I’m sad about some of the changes we’re going through, but I’m not going to just sit on my hiney pining for what can’t be right now. Moving forward, I trust God has already paved the way.

cat sleeping

Blessings,

How to Artfully Store Art & Craft Supplies

August 5, 2013 2 Comments

Well, I lost my craft room (you can go look….I’ll wait…). As it turned out, we needed that space to spread out my girls more; Ruby is not exactly the easiest roommate to share a space with. But as I was removing everything, I was actually a little excited. One, that room was the first time I ever had my own room–it always felt a little weird to me. Like “ta-tah! Mommy’s going away to craft!” I’m not saying that “going away” to practice our own interests is a bad thing; it’s just that I’ve spent decades sharing space to do stuff like that and that room felt a little too removed for my liking. So, the room went away and I had the opportunity to practice my organizational skills.

But even after I went through and decluttered, the art and craft supplies were NOT going away. But where to put it all? I finally decided that my bedroom would be the best place. I remember one person telling me never to put my desk in my bedroom, because when I entered that “place of rest” I would see my desk and sense *work*. And perhaps for some people, that would be true. However, I *love* reading and writing and arting and crafting. When *I* see my desk, *I* think, “YAY! PLAYTIME!”

So, here is how I managed to store my supplies in a way that would not look cluttered (to me), but incorporated into another space. And, yes, husband approves 🙂

This is where most of my supplies are: in vintage suitcases passed down to me, and in a hutch I picked up from a vintage store. Even the chair was in my craft room. I had to relocate a vintage baby cradle to make room. I figured, just because I need to store supplies in my everyday living spaces, doesn’t mean it can’t be stored beautifully and yet be easily accessible. When I lived in a really tiny condo, I kept my supplies nicely organized in a hall closet, under beds, and on bookshelves. Removing clutter (KEY!) and rethinking spaces can open up lots of possibilities.

storage in the bedroom

In the bottom case, I keep my paper supply and some supplies that I either don’t use on a regular basis, or extras.

art storage

Middle case: collage material and colored and patterned papers.

art storage

Top case: stickers, and a removable tray with texture helps for my artwork.

art storage

The little case on the floor: the supplies I use the most: things like paint and Mod Podge. I can just grab the whole thing and go work wherever.

art storage

In a separate case I keep under the bench by my bed, I put the finishing and extra touches to my mixed media art, such as twine, dried flowers and memorabilia. Here is where I wrote about how I repurposed this old case.

art storage

In an old jewelry case, I put all of my desk supplies. Because when I gave up my craft room, I also gave up my girlhood desk for an older daughter.

desk supply storage

In the hutch, I keep all of my art and sewing books, and my fabric and yarn and other crafting supplies.

craft storage

And yes, there were still extras to find room for! I put extra knitting supplies, stamps, inks, and whatnot into lidded bins that nestle well together, and put them into my closet. I only went two bins high because higher than that discourages me to use stuff (do I really want to bother with removing five boxes to get to the bottom one?).

art and craft storage

Not all of my art supplies are in my bedroom. I kept some things that I rarely use but want to keep in the old craft room (now bedroom) closet, especially those things that I don’t mind any of my kids having regular access to. I also keep some things in my art bag, ready to go whenever we hit the park or wherever. In there, I have: Moleskin watercolor and sketch books, a plastic case of watercolors with a water spritzer to dampen, a case of watercolor pencils with a piece of an old card and a ruler, a water brush, a toothbrush holder with paint brush and click-eraser and pencil, two Pigma micron pens (02 black and 05 sepia), and a white gel pen. I keep my paint tin and water spritzer in its own plastic ziploc just in case anything decides to leak.

in my art bag

Here is what I did on another wall: put a little desk for myself to work on schoolwork and write letters (and blog!). The woodcut out of England is a nod to my home away from home, and the poem on the wall is God, Thou Art Love by Robert Browning. A friend gave it to me before she died of breast cancer, and I read it often enough to hang it up in front of me! On the left side of my desk is a little table with study books, and on the right is my sewing machine case, and yet more books. Oh, and of course there are books ON the desk. And on my bedside table. And in about half a dozen other places (it’s a disease, I know….)

desk

There you have it. I can easily get to any of the supplies I need and work at the kitchen table, and when nothing is being used, it is pleasantly stored away. AND I can just close up the bedroom door off limits to toddlers 🙂

art and craft storage

I hope you’re inspired to rethink (or enjoy!) your art and craft organizational spaces.

Blessings,

Full Hands, Emptying Farm-ette

July 28, 2013 1 Comment

Seems like I hear that often enough, how my hands are full. And they are. And they are full of blessings and I’m sure I could fill books with gratitudes. But sometimes I am restless anyway, eager to cultivate and create and concoct some other persona than the one I am. But who does that, really, other than people in hiding?

I’ll tell you who. People who have kept things hidden in order to meet the needs and demands and expectations of everyone else. How to bring them out, however, when I’m busy with eternal matters such as motherhood and pressing needs such as laundry? Furthermore, ought I to even care for those things, those talents, those latent dreams? After all, anything less in importance than things eternal are, honestly, fodder for idolatry and we all know (either by wisdom or experience) where that road goes. But still…there must be a way to glorify God in the travel while driving those dreams in some way…

Currently I’m going through a half-dozen boxes, and I do mean BOXES, of writing I’ve done since I was about 11 years old. Piles and piles of poetry, short stories, journals, essays, reports, letters….all in worn hefty cardboard boxes with lids. I had in my mind that I would create some sort of mixed media art with at least bits of it, sort of a *this was/is me* buried under ModPodge and acrylic paint. The truth is, though, that much of it has ended in the garbage or recycling and *special* portions are reserved for a nice, hot bonfire. I read enough of it to realize that I wasn’t ready to read/relive it, and more importantly, I didn’t need anyone else reading either. I used to think my children and grands would like to, eventually, to see my spiritual growth and all of the good, bad and ugly. However, it wasn’t ever my intention or reason for writing, so it seems a little dishonest. Mainly it was me working things out with the One who already knew and knows. I still write to do that, and I don’t need to prove to myself or anyone else anymore that “I am a writer” by pointing to an abundance of paper. I just hope someone stronger emerges when the ashes from the past cool, because right now, it feels a bit blistery.

In the meantime, I’m keeping this little blog going. I don’t know why. Perhaps someone else out in ether world shares the same struggles with managing their lives with real purpose and meaning in this age of distractions. The worst part is the death of real relationships; who needs to talk and share coffee or write letters when we can “just” text or “just” post on Facebook or “just” update our status? And heavens, don’t even get me started with folks that do that sort of nonsense in the presence of real, live, breathing people! Anyhow, before my pondering gets pontiferous…

Just a few things to share.

One, it is totally worth dehydrating your favorite seasonings and tis the season to do it. I have lots of favorites, but garlic and oregano are tops in my kitchen so I make sure I have those. Here is a perfect example about why to make your own. This is dried oregano. The really nice green leafy greens on top are from my garden. The bottom faded dried out little pieces are from the market, and yes it was specialty organic seasoning to boot (and not from China). Guess which one smells and tastes better? And NO, don’t add this as “one more thing to do”. You don’t have to do it “all”; I gave up making laundry soap long ago 🙂

Oh and we are the worst tooth fairies ever. We ALWAYS forget to exchange a dollar per tooth and we end up adding extra dollars for every night we forget (don’t want to disappoint anyone at this point anyhow by being on time!). I got this note on the kitchen counter along with some *change*.

Annnnnnd, speaking of letting things go, a whole lot of animals have been tearfully sold around here to make room and time for I don’t know what but husband wants a break and so there we are. Our farm-ette is emptying at a fast clip and it does look real lonely in empty fenced-in pastures. Half of our ducks got picked off this year by foxes, too. At this rate, this guy will be the only animal left once it’s all said and done. As I said in a previous post, sometimes dreams need to die. It’s pretty hard, though, to imagine what’s coming.

That’s all for now.

Blessings,

Growing is Messy

July 26, 2013 2 Comments

I’ve been going through half a dozen large boxes full of papers and schoolwork (yes, even from kindergarten!). Mostly I can’t believe I’ve kept all of this stuff, hauling it from here and there, hither and yon. The weight of it all is heavy (on multiple levels), and I do wonder why I kept certain things, like notes passed from peers that were incredibly mean. There I was, working on pre-Algebra problems, and notes would slip my way saying ugly and crass things. And, I somehow thought those were worth keeping. Maybe I deserved them or something. Maybe they were mirrors.

But all of it has headed to the garbage and I am relieved. I am not the picture others painted. And I’m learning while going through the messes of past history that I’m not even the picture I thought I was, either. What I see as an adult now was a sweet little girl, writing such tender things of rainbows, friends, flowers, dances, and horses. I see her hunger to be loved, to be cherished. I see her withdrawing in her teen years, cynical that it would ever come. Mentally I give her the warmest embrace, and remind her of God’s grace.

I have two more boxes to go. They are full of journals. I can’t decide whether to read them before shredding, to revisit or remember. Either way, I am sure that once I’m on the other side, I will be stronger.

Here is a little art-ing I did not too long ago. At this stage I feel like the buds, still compact but warming in the Son, loosening. This turned out a little too messy for me, but that’s all right. Growing usually is.

Blessings,

Summer Farm-ette Garden Tour

July 24, 2013 4 Comments

The potager is in crazy full bloom and I’m dying to share it with friends. We had some unexpected guests show up last week (that actually happens quite a bit!) and it was fun to show them the wonderful fulness. I sheepishly told one of them that it wasn’t really *me* growing anything, and he said, “Your husband did all this?!” Haha! Well, he did build all of the raised beds, put in the drip irrigation, design the fencing and do all of the hardscape. What I meant was, the LORD makes everything to grow and sometimes He uses good ol’ perennials to do it!

I’m not really harvesting much of my herbs this year, just letting it all go mostly to seed. It’s nice to take a break from that. But I *am* cutting plenty of one of my favorite flowers, sweet peas, to keep within my close view indoors! Enjoy the tour 🙂

butterfly on rhubarb leaf, feverfew

honeybees busy on lavender

kale that I need to cut and use quick!

lilies galore

another favorite flower of mine, calendula (obviously needing deadheading)

walkway; lots of squash, green beans, mints, sage, kiss-me-over-the-garden-gate flowers, apples

oh wait, these are my favorite too! borage

sigh….sweet peas….love….

so the funny thing is that I *think* this is yellow squash…and not pumpkin…

oh look! blueberries my kids haven’t found and eaten yet!

ok, I DID harvest garlic….lovvvvvve my garlic….

you can see the whole other garden out front…lots of onions, tomatoes, squashes, beets, broccoli (done now)…

and more cabbage than I know what to do with (quick! find the woman a sauerkraut recipe!)

Thanks for visiting my back kitchen garden. I hope yours is just as lovely!

Blessings,

When Your Dream Dies

July 14, 2013 1 Comment

I had it all mapped out in my heart and head. I’d be a good student, make the necessary graduations, get married, have some kids and live healthily and happily ever after in my own home. Well, by the grace of God most of those things happened, but I’ve been feeling rather stupid and wondering what happened to the “happily ever after” part. That’s the part that I get to do what I think God created me to do, using tools I believe He’s supplied, completely satisfied with my past efforts and full of hope in my current endeavors, knowing the blessing of loving support from friends and family.

Except it isn’t exactly happening that way. Over the past few years my dreams have been challenged.

Relationally, I’ve had to just accept that some people will never accept me the way I am (pshaw, *I* don’t even like the way I am!). Some will make false assumptions and even lie about my beliefs. Some will attack my character, either in jest (which isn’t really funny) or on the internet highways. Some will take advantage and bleed me dry. Some will patronize me and yet others elevate me to a nonsensical supergirl. And, the fact is, my own expectations of what constitutes a good relationship are just as damning. I, too, don’t make time for others I supposedly care about (except of course I’d make time to attend their funeral…). I, too, say unloving and flippant things (except of course they deserved that…). I, too, avoid saying what’s needed (when I’m not saying what’s hurtful!). It’s enough to make me want to lie in a cave. Alone. Except of course I dream of acceptance.

My accomplishments have suffered. My ideas of what I’m supposed to do have taken some serious hits. Weeds have grown knee-high, animals around here have been lost, suppers (and appointments) have been late. I haven’t been the picture of a proverbs 31 woman and I can’t even seem to finish a project more than 80%. My motivation sometimes stops at pulling up my own bootstraps and then I’m snarky towards those that wear them well. Naturally I am keenly aware of womenfolk who never seem to suffer even a hair out-of-place, but that just puts me right back into the last paragraph of some folks making false assumptions and now I am one of them.

More? Material things have buried me. One of the reasons Pinterest drives me crazy (as helpful as it really can be) is I see all of the open dreaming and I want to respond to them. Oh, I want that huge ginormous open cabinetry in my kitchen (really? you want to dust all of that because believe me dust bunnies will party), oh to have a whole acre to grow cabbage in (you do realize that will take copious amounts of time and weeding and pest control,right? and you might still only get one head of cabbage. maybe.). The truth is I have the big house, the five acres, the big gardens, the farm animals, the long dirt road and yes, four bathrooms. And because there is no internet site titled “Gratitude Pinterest for What I Already Have”, I am the one pinning one-bedroom cottages and pining for them (oh to clean the whole house in one hour! oh to have only one flower bed to weed! oh to have no mortgage! oh to live off grid!). Too bad being a contented and grateful child of the King of Kings hasn’t been one of my *dreams*.

I’m not even going to hit all of the dreams about health (full and vibrant of course!), marriage (a lifelong intense love affair!), mothering (attentive and appreciative children of course!) and so forth.

So sometimes dreams go away. Sometimes they are put aside for tomorrow, and sometimes, in reality, they die.

Praise.the.Lord.

Because when the dream dies, its ashes reveal our hearts and the sandy foundations you and I have built those dreams upon. It fillets our true motives and gives an honest assessment of what we really believe (despite what we say). When the dream dies, it feels like the ground has moved, and it has. That ground was probably fertilized with self-centered pride (ouch), and not exactly on the Rock of Ages and what HIS plans were and are.

What I really wanted to do here was whine about my trials (you got some of that, right?). But I will also tell you that God is faithful, He is good, and He is ever-present even when it feels like He is not. There is His wisdom and grace and provision in it all. And yes, He does know what He’s doing in it all. AND, friend, unless your dreams sometimes die, you will miss the very best thing there is, even better than those ideals you have created for yourself: God Himself.

Maybe, just maybe, if that is true, we ought to courageously be praying for more of our dreams to turn to dust. Truth?

Blessings,

How I Make Time

June 24, 2013 2 Comments

How do I make time to work on those things I want to keep learning? How can you?

Pick at it, here a little, there a little; 15 minutes a day is still almost 2 hours a week
Chuck the TV and turn off the internet
Read nonfiction in the bathtub or even while the kids are in theirs
Put the kids to bed on time
Always have something to do with you when you’re out: sketchbook, knitting, etc.
Greet the sunrise (not the midnight moon)
Ask your family for a few hours to yourself, once a week (schedule it)
Say “no” to too many outside responsibilities
Let your kids see that you have “homework” too; you can even do it while they’re busy with theirs
Do things with your family: gardening, learning about baking, painting…
Focus your interests onto a smaller plate; too many can pull you into too many directions and waste time
Take a class; nothing like outside dates or deadlines to help you get going!
Listen to audio tapes when in the car; it’s better for your blood pressure than talk radio anyway
Take a regular walk and learn to quiet your mind. More ideas will come!

Blessings,

Moms Need to Keep Learning, Too

June 17, 2013 5 Comments

I know the exasperation of wanting to know how other stay-at-home mothers *do it* while they’re raising their children. How does she write those books, sell handmade goodies online, sew up cute everythings, and then take all those amazing photos to blog about it all? Well, more than once I’ve had the poignant aha moment of “oh, she sends her kids off on the bus every morning…” But, I also know homeschooling mamas who are running businesses and training for marathons. Far more often, though, I hear about “the wrong season” to do anything outside of homemaking and homeschooling and methinks that’s no good! “Dying to self” does not mean stifling your own interests anymore than “doing your own passion” means spending every waking moment on everything but homemaking and homeschooling.

Do homeschooling mothers need to put aside all of their own interests so that they can more *fully engage* in educating their children? What does that mean, anyway? That instead of reading a nonfiction book on a topic of interest, we ought to spend that time preparing more flashcards? One of the definitions of education in the 1828 Websters says it is discipline intended to “form the manners and habits of youth”. Well, if one of those intentions is to raise lifelong learners, then we must also pay heed to Luke 6:40 The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.

It is good for children to know and see that their mama is always learning new things, that she borrows arms-full of books from the library (and reads them). I think it’s all right for a mama to have some of her own homework or crafting time and to know that she may be subject to goals and deadlines just like they are. How can it be bad to see her try new things in the kitchen or garden or classroom or sporting arena? For a mother to have her own interests and to see her cultivate her own hobbies: is this selfishness?

All I know is that keeping at least a little toe in the genre of where you think your gifts are will help keep you sane, and who doesn’t want a sane mother?

As for me, one of my loves has been (and is) learning about God’s healing herbs. It began as a child, loving to sit in fields watching and listening to grass rustling and birds chittering. In college one of my most favorite classes ever was a botany course on spring wildflowers, complete with hunting them down and keying them out. Once the children came along I learned how to make teas, tinctures, salves, and so forth. I took online classes and earned two degrees (BS and MS) in Holistic Nutrition, figuring out how to cook those amazing foods that came from the ground and not from a box. Later I took a class on botanical illustration. Today I’m learning through both Vintage Remedies and the American Herbalists Guild.

It was quite a hurdle for me to get there, mentally. There was/is always something else I could be doing, for the “good of my family”. What I’ve learned, however, is that spending some time cultivating my own interests ultimately does my family good. If you’re struggling with taking the time for your own learning, you might want to listen to this podcast I did on that very topic, Room for You. You also might like listening to an interview I did with an author about how she wrote a book (and a good one at that!) while raising small children, Pursuing Your Talents in the Season of Motherhood.

At the risk of turning this place into an art blog, here is something I did today between family responsibilities. Ongoing learning as a mom is like that, here a little, there a little. I decided I wanted to learn about burdock more, and so googled pictures and then drew and watercolored. Then I incorporated words to remind me how this beautiful plant is used. It’s not a large thing I did. But it’s something.

Are you taking any time at all for your own interests? I remember my mother doing much needlework throughout my growing up years, and what a treasure all of that handwork is now, especially because her hands have betrayed her as she has aged. Don’t wait until your children are grown, until you think a “better season” comes along. Snatch the time here and there. Learn and live alongside your babies, and enrich all of your lives in the process.

Blessings,

Contemplative Bible Study Through Art

June 15, 2013 4 Comments

Peace seems so hard to come by these days and I’m afraid it is not because we are so often victims of circumstances. Rather, it is that we are volunteers. We give up rest when the blank squares on our calendars clamor for events. We add on activities upon activities, and burdens that are not fit. We give up sleep and thereby trade in that time for bodily repair and rejuvenation. We give up time and space in the kitchen to prepare quality food for the convenience of running to the store at the last minute (which, if you really think that through, isn’t so convenient). We give up walking for driving, trading in sharpening our awareness and eyesight for grit and speed and flying gravel.

And sadly, we give up our Bible study because really, it’s easier to skim a little here and there (if at all), and just consume someone else’s study.

Don’t you want peace? I long for a deep abiding peace in all of my days, in every circumstance. It’s something I probably will never have this side of the veil, but still I hunger for it.

Studying the Bible is one of my greatest pleasures, the food that sustains me. I find in depth word studies to be very filling and satisfying, but also in this time of raising seven children and living in my own messes and circumstances, they are too short and few. Memory work is helpful, as I can meditate throughout the day on a particular passage or verse, turning it around in my heart and mind, even as I am pressing the gas pedal on the way to the grocer with chatty children behind me.

But I am finding yet another way to study, and that is through art. Art: you know, that thing we wish we did more with our kids. That thing that we buy for them: crayons, paints, paper, scissors and glue….but where is our own personal shoebox of supplies? Art-ing, as I call it, has really brought another dimension to my Bible study. It is one thing to read and write and study….it is quite another to try to translate what I am learning into visual form.

Some ways I have learned and am learning: keeping an art journal, sketching a passage of scripture. Trying to distill what I am learning into one word, and then painting it (that one word will remind me of whole passages!). Sketching and drawing and photographing things around me, because just quieting my mind enough to move a pencil or focus a lens helps to quiet my mind. Handstitching or spinning wool is very meditative, and conducive to quieting.

Recently I picked up an old copy of My Utmost for His Highest at a used book store. It is one of my most favorite devotionals. I tore out some passages that were speaking to me, and created some mini-pictures, smalls, on canvases. One I made for myself, the other two I made for friends that were brought to mind. Creating these allowed me to contemplate the verses and to pray for people that were brought to mind as well. It’s spring, so of course I needed flowers and lots of them in my pictures.

One ditch I must warn you about. When you first find ways to quiet your mind and space, war will commence for your thinking. All of the garbage and lies and anger and bitterness that you have stuffed will make its way out into your thinking. You must battle them and dismantle them one at a time. In time you will be able to let them come and then quietly counter them with scripture, sort of like looking at playing cards and then just noticing and putting them aside, ugliness and all. The “ditch” is choosing to use that time to stir resentments, provoke more anger, rehash or remake conversations, and so forth. It is quite like deciding to do a fast or a detox…when you first begin to give your body real food and clean water, it may go through healing crises on the way to rest and repair. When you give your heart and mind time for quiet, you may have to deal with quite a bit of your own sin and muck on your way to peace. Don’t stay in the ditch. Keep your eyes looking to Jesus, and let Him burn off the dross.

I encourage you to try an outlet of art-ing in fostering contemplative Bible study.

May you be blessed!

A Way Around Unemployment

June 11, 2013 1 Comment

So many families are dealing with unemployment that I just had to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Teves. In the midst of looking for a job (and he’s still looking!), he not only considered the skill sets he had, he was open to trying new things that meant learning NEW skill sets. His wife steadfastly continues to stand by his side, encouraging him throughout this process, and both testify to God’s goodness and provision in the land of unemployment. If you’re having trouble finding a job (like this couple) and you want to avoid taking unemployment benefits (and these two have), be inspired to CREATE a paying job that just may be better than you expected.

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Blessings,

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Contemplating the Potting Bench

June 2, 2013 1 Comment

I am really enjoying the art ideas and lessons from Scarlet Lime. Here is the watercolor potting bench I just finished. It was pretty relaxing to do 🙂

Little projects that only take a few days are very satisfying right now. Have a blessed week, friends.

You Don’t Have to DI(all)Y

May 31, 2013 5 Comments

Acts 9:6 …Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

It was a little too much for me, this small little post I came across. It endeavored to teach me how to make *something* in my kitchen from scratch. Now, I’m not even going to say what *it* was because probably someone in these parts will brighten and say, “Really?!” and run with it (that would be me….). And it is not the idea of “running with it” that puts me over the edge. It is the running-with-it-ALL.

I totally get that we can (and do) make our own laundry soap, cut hair, change tires, and sew aprons. I also realize that yes, we probably could craft toothpicks out of the trees in our yard. But if the DIY attitude succumbs into an all out anti-purchase, thanks-but-I’ll-do-it-m’self mentality, I’m afraid we may be sprinting like direction-less spazzes past the lovelier things of this world, one of which is God-given rest and yet another, the fellowship of and the need to deal with other people in their own talents and trades. Furthermore, pressing on to learn new skills ought to be an outgrowth of need and interest, not anxiety and fear (like over a future that is firmly within the grasp and control of our Lord). It also ought not to be some sick race to prove that we *can* do anything and everything because we’re just that smart (which begs the question…).

As an example, if you’re knee deep in diapers and postpartum blues, now is probably not the time to learn how to make sushi from scratch. Or maybe it is, but you can’t also begin your ginormous journey into grinding wheat and baking bread from scratch at the same time. Oh, and learn to pickle eggs, use a sewing machine and make up batches of homemade cleansers while painting your own kitchen cabinets. Can I just plead with you to STOP?!

Learn to ask the question from Acts 9:6, “…Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” He who leads gently will never overburden you with guilt for all of the things you are not doing from scratch. In fact, He just may provide your household with the funds to buy (even in cheap plastic containers) things like ketchup. He may say *no* to your desire to sew all of your children’s clothes, to raise your own turkeys, to wash and keep cloth diapers. Our problem is that we can be far too self-assured in our own abilities and then ignore His *no* with “…but Lord! I can (save money….make things look better….save time…sort of…..)….” Or worse, “…but Lord! I wannnnnt tooooo…..” As if He didn’t know those things. As if He didn’t have your and my very best interests at heart in absolutely all areas of life.

I gave up beekeeping. I also gave up spinning wool, knitting, publishing a journal, raising my own meat poultry, and much more. In return, the Lord gave me time to sink my toes in the warm sand at the beach while watching eagles overhead and children underfoot. He allowed me space to play with watercolors and mixed media art (which in a past life I would have deemed a stupid and foolish waste of time…). I gained minutes and moments to sip hot (store-bought) tea while listening to my children practice their music. I even got to paint my kitchen cabinets. And so on. And it’s funny how when those extra things were pruned away (sometimes thankfully, sometimes painfully), I found myself in a quieter place to listen and to speak with my God.

I am still learning many things, but this is the best thing I’ve learned in the last few years and I just wanted to share it with you.

In case you didn’t know. You don’t have to do it all.

Blessings,

Childhood and Lilacs

May 24, 2013 2 Comments

Well I thought I’d share the lilacs before they completely leave my memory for the season; all that’s left outside are skimpy handfuls of blossoms clinging to the dried stems.

Isn’t that the way? One day, the lilacs are in full bloom; the next day, they have folded. Today, I am scrubbing grubby hand prints off the walls; tomorrow, those hands will find work outside of growing up and leave my walls clean. I need to remember to kiss the palms of those hands whilst I can.

Sometimes I remember to pause in the time that I’m in to really see what is blooming in front of me, between washing dishes and checking homework and stuffing bills into envelopes. Maybe if I did that more often in this season…maybe when the fragrance of memory catches me at odd moments later in life…maybe the remembrance and scent will be satisfying and comforting to my heart. Perhaps. Otherwise, in my rush to (fill in the daily blanks), I’m afraid I may miss the bloom completely. And regrets smell rank, not redolent.

Childhood and lilacs: fleeting. Stop and enjoy the bouquets.

Blessings,

Art Journaling: What I Need

May 16, 2013 Leave a Comment

I’m very much enjoying art journaling, beginner that I am. It’s a definite stretcher for me to break from using just words to dump my brain and to try to (literally) draw it out. Although, it’s funny, I still filled up the page with words! I was thinking about how I needed to guard my heart, to be its keeper, to stop being dependent on people or my circumstances and to just care better for me. And then I started thinking about what I really needed, and came up with a list. This is from my sketch book. Can you relate to any of these needs?

I decided to put it all onto a little canvas, something I could display somewhere and look at it and remind myself. I forget pretty easily! I love the birds, one in a cage and one without. Every word and drawing or stamp carries a meaning for me, and helps to provoke meditation and prayer. This was a fun project to do with my girls, too; they made their own pictures and have proudly displayed them where they, too, can see them every day. We used acrylic paints, stamps, and mod podge for the words. I’m looking forward to doing more of this sort of art journaling!

Blessings,

Dehydrating Sourdough Starter

May 13, 2013 3 Comments

UPDATE (4-16-14): This process is very, very easy, but I did not have success rehydrating the starter. You can read about my efforts here. I still plan to dehydrate, but I will be doing more research on resurrecting it, too. Please feel free to share your thoughts on either post!

***

I rarely make yeast baked goods since (a) I don’t consider it the healthiest choice, (b) we don’t use grains much anyway. I’ve been using and rotating four sourdough starters for years, and lately I decided it was time to retire two of them. I didn’t want to throw them away however, so I dehydrated them for safe keeping and for any future need. Sourdough starter is a wonderful thing to have. With a little salt, some flour, and water…I can make bread.

To dehydrate my sourdough starter, I spread it thinly onto my dehydrator sheet. At this point I probably could have left it alone to air dry, but I didn’t trust my Pacific Northwest atmosphere to dry it out. Instead I used my dehydrator at the lowest setting. Here you can see it drying along the edges, still wet in the middle.

This was what I was waiting for: brittleness. It was still a *tad* soft here so I dried some more. It took about 16 hours or so.

Once it was brittle, I put the pieces into my Vitamix and powdered it all. I spread it out for another hour to insure it was really dry.

And that was it! Here are my jars of two sourdough starters. They still smell great and I have zero doubts about being able to get them going again whenever I want to. The last thing I’m going to do is put a moisture packet in each jar, and then seal them closed with my food saver attachment.

It feels good to have those done! And I still have the other two to rotate when we want to eat a baked good. This morning, we’ve got sourdough pancakes coming up. Mmmm….

Blessings,

Mixed Media Bookmarks

May 11, 2013 Leave a Comment

I enjoyed making bookmarks for our new book club. I recently figured that I’ve been running book clubs for twelve years now! It’s always a blessing to get together. We meet once a month, for one chapter a month. It sounds like a long time to get through a book, but it works out great for busy mamas who need time to ponder and perhaps implement what they’ve learned. Do you make an effort to be in a Bible study or small fellowship group? Sometimes it is not a good time to do so, but sometimes…it is.

Blessings,

How to Build Awareness

May 10, 2013 Leave a Comment

I was talking with some friends yesterday about how our drive for getting things *done* sometimes makes our awareness of needs–and blessings–in front of us sorely lacking. The problem is that as often as we push past cultivating awareness of our surroundings (and the people in them), that God-given sense of ours becomes dull. Really, we ought to be sobered when something happens and we say in response and astonishment, “I had no idea….it was out of the blue…” Most things are probably not in those categories at all. Usually, there were inklings, if not downright pushes….but we lost our sense of awareness when we disparaged that to either hold up the almighty *check list* or to lose our minds into the ether of too much entertainment or gadgets. Furthermore, we don’t trust our awareness of things anyway. It’s not something we can photograph; it’s nebulous. It’s not even something we can practice or meditate on for five minutes and then move on to our more (we think) rational part of our brain and day.

How aware are you?

Do you sense when something is awry with your marriage? Your children? Your pet dog? Do you notice when the sparrows return, when the bread is leavened, when that guy at the market makes you feel just a wee bit creepy?

I think awareness is important to having a life made out of meaning, not just minutes.

Two things have helped me to build awareness in my own life, and continue to do so. Maybe they would help you, too?

1. My garden, and living in the woods. I can sit fascinated by the breeze fluttering the alder leaves, casting shadows and light, sparkling in the sunshine. I enjoy listening to the variety of birds that return in the spring, trying to name them, to own them in my heart. Enjoying creation is one way to build awareness.

2. My camera, sketchbook, and journal. Trying to frame a photograph, trying to capture the feeling that evokes joy or peace or wonder…it can’t help but cause me to slow down, pay attention. I find the same is true when I am photographing my kids. Similarly, writing two or three pages in my journal causes me to dig deeper, to ponder and turn things over in my mind. Sketching does the same, utilizing other areas of my brain, encouraging me to see differently.

So, how about a quick tour around my place? These are some outside things I’ve noticed lately. I bet if you grabbed your camera or sketchbook and took a walk around your house, you’d find things to wonder about and grow your sense of awareness too.

…around my kitchen garden….

…in the barnyard….

….and in the front pasture, a treehouse is going up…

I feel like I’ve been MIA in my blog lately, but I’m still here and hope to share more with you soon. I see you, dear faithful (and persistent!) readers, and I miss you, too.

Blessings,

Why Being Might Be More Important than Doing

May 2, 2013 2 Comments

To-do lists are easy for me to come up with. Last night I dumped my brain onto paper and listed out a good seven or eight things I wanted to accomplish in the upcoming week. I vaguely acknowledged that there are always (at least) seven or eight things for me to hit no matter how many balls I’ve swung at the day before, and yet I still plowed ahead, creating targets to hit. I do expect my in-box to be full when I am gathered up at the end of my days.

An interesting thought, however, came to me as I was waiting for the ball in my head to stop spinning. What about a “to be” list?

It’s not as easy. After all, I can muscle up and tackle a “to do” list. I can’t, however, “be the change I wish to see in the world”. I can’t just decide to be happier, or more thoughtful, or to walk closer to the Lord. Part of me applauds those that can; the other part is skeptical, envisioning white washed tombs.

I carefully wrote, more like sketched, the words. Shalom. Dwell with God. Kindness.

The grammarian in me balked. Those are not “to be” verbs! The tender me shushed her.

Does it matter if my doing is done without thought to my being? If I must sacrifice my spirit on the alter of the urgent or even the perfect project d’jour, what meaning has my life ultimately than in hurrying by the minutes and leaving only that which will ultimately burn? Furthermore, what harm is left by my dust? What child perturbed my busy self and worse, knew it? What tiredness did I miss in my husband and neglect even a glass of water? What soft whisper or nudging of the Lord did I put aside for the nebulous “later”? To whom did I miss sharing an edifying word? But sweeping bold checks on that list (done…done…done….)….they bring me a sense of fullness and satisfaction.

What if, however, the check marks meant….ignored a problem (check), missed giving a hug (check), said an unkind word (check)…?

My to do list is important to me. It helps me to plan, to see progress, to create and cultivate and close in on things that are not just purposeful, but pleasant.

But what would it be like if I gave more thought to the “to be” list? And, knowing that only God can work those things out within me, how might my greater dependence upon the Lord during the day look like while I am working out those other things I need to do? Would I pray more? Dwell more closely with Him? Have more peace? Would the law of kindness find a welcome home on my tongue with which to reside?

Maybe, I’d actually accomplish more. But, more importantly, maybe God would too.

The Problem of Pinterest

April 17, 2013 2 Comments

Pinterest has been a wonderful tool to organize all of the website pages and ideas I love. I no longer have to remember sites, clutter up my bookmarks, or lose places when the internet goes down or I mindlessly close up the dozens of tabs waiting for that elusive time I call “later.” Furthermore, I don’t have to write html code anymore to share my favorite links and ideas with you all; you can just come visit my own Pinterest boards. (I’ll wait here…)

The problem of Pinterest, as I see it, is this. It’s yet another distraction. Another wonderful distraction, to be sure, enchanting and full of places to get lost in time. And the problem with that (as you may know) is (at least) twofold.

One, it gives plenty of ready opportunities to practice self-control and putting to death coveting (over and over and over…). You may think that’s a good thing to practice, but if you’re lamenting the ample amounts of “practice” you’ve been putting in lately, maybe it’s time to reconsider that habit. Lamentation without repentance isn’t really lamentation; it’s barely a nod to an irksome conscience pricker.

And two, it can suffer you into never getting anything done! All of those wonderful gardening ideas…..have you tried one in your own yard? What about the 53 (or 530) craft ideas….have you made an effort to make the time and space to give any of them a go? And why are you making spaghetti again when you’ve been pinning multiple alternative recipes to try? (Oh wait…that was me tonight…)

Oy, the distraction. I even got distracted just going to the site to get the LINK (“oooh….look at that!…..).

Want to know the best way to get that wonderful site to *heel*? Actually DO something with your hands (other than typing and swiping I mean). I finally figured out that no matter how many kitchens on Pinterest I salivated over, mine was going to stay the same dreary brown light-sucking dark wood unless I drove to the paint store. And so I did. And I am working on a task I really do not like (painting) in order to get what I do like (a more cheery kitchen), rather than spending more time pinning (which I d0 like) rather than working (which I can gracefully bow out of anytime with the most flowery of excuses….like I just ran out of time or some such).

And along those same lines (painting, I mean), I broke out the acrylics, the watercolors, the pens, pencils and papers and glues. Sure, I’ve been doing that for years for my children, but this time it’s for ME. All of those amazing artists I love….bless them, some of them offer online classes. All of that art I love: mixed media, watercolors, art journaling…..classes abound and lots of them are FREE. I surely don’t expect anyone to pin my artwork, but you know what, I have my own artwork! That is new as spring to me and as fresh as honey scented falling April rain (we get that here, the honey-scented spring that is).

Don’t laugh at my ducky. I think he’s adorable 🙂

I don’t have a lot of time for these sorts of extras. Homeschooling, homemaking mamas usually don’t. But grabbing even a couple of hours a week, whether it is in 15 minute chunks every day or all at once one day a week…you, too, could pick at doing something Pinterest-worthy. You, too, could grab that skirt pattern you pinned and start preparing fabric….or learn to photoshop some photos…or buy a box of pansies to put into something burlappy….

And please remember that places like Pinterest have a zillion people on them, and you are but one. No one does everything. But one person taking even the smallest step towards creating or bettering or making or crafting or planting or sewing…that person will have something beautiful to offer the world as well, even if it’s nothing advertised but the outward peace that comes with time better managed and a gratitude that grows from a contented heart.

Now, about all of these scraps I’ve been gathering…

Blessings,

The Blessing of Down Syndrome

April 10, 2013 3 Comments

Ruby Mae is coming on five years old and we thought (with the encouragement of a reader–thank you!) that it was high time we did a podcast about her and Down Syndrome. What follows is a our story. It may be a bit (or more) of meandering but it was a late night and we had a lot to say. Tom remembers far more than I do; maybe he’s just processed more than I have at this point. All that to say, (1) we are thankful to the Lord for Ruby and (2) no, we don’t have everything figured out. But we *are* willing to share this part of our life with you. May it be a blessing.

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It’s Kidding Season (No Joke!)

March 29, 2013 2 Comments

Spring is definitely here. Between the heavy frost and the warm sunny days, the buds beginning to unfurl and the weeds waking with a vengeance, the whole atmosphere around here says, “It’s spring!” The quietness of winter is gone, too. The robins are singing, the hummingbirds zipping…and then there’s our dairy goat herd queen, Splat. If she hears any of us outside, she begins bellowing. “Foooood!!! I want some more fooooooooooooooood!” Yes, we’ve taken to hushing our way out to the kitchen garden if we want to work on schoolwork at the picnic table in peace.

We have three girls to milk for our family’s supply, and what comes before that are, of course, the kids. Two of our does have kidded, and we have one more to go next month. Tomorrow we’ll be disbudding the babies (the job I hate the very, very most!). I say “we” in the loosest sense: my husband and son actually do the job and I am VERY thankful for that.

Anyhow, here are some photos. They are tagged with my other blog’s website, so if you’re interested in dairy goats, feel free to check out that site, too!

Enjoy your spring!

You Can’t Do It All…Or Can You?

March 27, 2013 3 Comments

You can’t do it all. Or so they say. But what is the “all” that “it” entails?

Defining priorities seems to be a constant challenge in our culture and time. With so many choices at our fingertips and roads to take under our wheels, it is akin to an eternal buffet that our eyes and hearts can feast upon, “I want it all!”

And therein lies the rub. It is not the “all”. It is the “want.”

For the Christian woman, the to do list is clear.

Love the Lord your God.

Honor your marriage.

Train up your children.

Keep your house.

It can be translated daily in acts such as:

Have you read the Word, prayed today?

Did you give an encouraging word to your husband?

Did your child do the task assigned?

What’s for supper?

Do these things seem light? They are.

Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Too often my actions deem those things unimportant as I either cultivate or deal with frustration (and bitterness) over the lack of opportunity or progress in other areas. And then I say, “Well, I can’t do it all.”

And those primary things, those that make up the lighter burden, are cast aside for heavier weights. Because my heart wants all the shiny things the world deems urgent and important and sweet, and there is only so much room in my day.

I didn’t say I was smart.

But I am learning. I can’t do it all. And, for that matter, nor should I.

I want to desire and love the humble, lighter burden more. Somehow, I think carrying that load first will not only keep my feet light enough to follow the Lord in peace, but it will strengthen me for the rocks I may still want to pick up along the way.

A Quilt, Some Kids, and Mice!

March 20, 2013 Leave a Comment

Last night was exciting. I was so excited in fact that I was downright nauseated by the stress of it all. Although, my son tossed his cookies last night as well so maybe it was something we ate. In any case, we got our first two kids of the season and thankfully my friend was able to come over, reach her hand right in (wince) and pull out the backwards baby in less than five minutes! I tell you what, a midwife I am NOT! I’ll be posting pictures soon. And we’ve got two more does to go, too.

I finished *something* recently and wanted to share: my baby’s little quilt! It was super easy and fast but of course it sat on the “project pile” for a good ten months or so before I finished the binding. But it’s done and out of my to-finish stash and I love the colors:

Meanwhile, my 11 year old daughter wanted to make something for a bride and her groom as a wedding present. So, she handmade some little mice, thinking that the little boy in the new marriage would like to play with them:

Now, I just need to find a couple of good movies to sit by so I can finish this apron that’s been taunting me. That, or some episodes of I Love Lucy. I could really use the laughter these days!

Blessings,

Life in a Computer Time

March 18, 2013 2 Comments

I currently have 34 tabs open on my browser(s) of things to read and deal with and a hundred and some-odd emails that are *not* junk but awaiting my attention. I belong to six online groups that are important to me. And I have several different classes I’m taking at once that all involve at least some online interaction. Does that sound at all familiar to you?

It’s neverending, it seems, this play between the ether-world and Reality that pokes into it with meals and laundry and real people with real eyes to talk with. It’s a tension that I am sure I am going to lose someday, the other end slipping through my hands by choice or by fate. Perhaps I am not good at living in two different worlds at the same time.

Are you?

Right now the children are cleaning up the kitchen, singing funny songs and laughing. The dogs are barking outside at whatever varmint is daring to stick its nose across our property line. And I’m supposed to be finishing up an exam but I’m thinking of my blog and my readers and how both have changed over the years. I’ve changed, too.

Sometimes I wonder if I could live without a computer, without email, without the internet. It’s ridiculous, of course…and then I wonder why it’s so ridiculous. But I am still young enough to remember those days! I do wonder what I naively traded, and what I am still trading. And I’m wondering if, ahead of time, if someone told me that I would be able to write a blog and have a beautiful readership (is that a word?), download and tweak and share photos, message anyone in real-time (et cetera, et cetera…), if I would have gladly traded whatever was in my life then for those abilities and opportunities today.

I’m sure there is a cost to participate in this other world. I’m just befuddled about what it really is and if it comes in multiples. I wonder if the blessings are big enough for me (yes, that’s how shallow I am). And I’m sure there is someone out there with wisdom to share, but somehow I think she is quietly working on her handwork or reading a book or tending her roses, at peace with herself and her life. I just wish she would write to me.

My Craft Room Remodel

March 10, 2013 2 Comments

I know I’ve been quiet here. I’m finding myself stepping away from a lot of things, activities, and even people, so it makes sense that other areas would get a little choppy too. It’s like I’ve been throwing everything up into the air and just standing there waiting to see how things would fall into place around me. I figure, if it worked for the Big Bang, my life will systematically get organized that way also (hmmmm…..).

I am finding, though, that during this time of rethinking and reorganizing and regrouping that words are coming. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to share them yet.

So. In the meantime…..want to see what I’ve done with my craft room/office since I last shared it? What you need to know first is that I took over the “guest room” that wasn’t used more than half a dozen times a year. Also, this house I’m living in is enormous so I no longer have to use my kitchen table for everything…but I’ve done that too. Thirdly, most of what you see is decorating with what I already have/had on hand. I even raided my “girlhood stuff” boxes.

What you see here is a greatly reduced collection of craft books. I got rid of all of the books I didn’t use or care for anymore and kept the ones I loved. Instead of my eyes glassing over all of the choices now, I’m eager to pull one out and feast. I also pulled out all of my hoops and filled them with fabrics I loved. Now I look up from my desk and my eyes love what they see. I just added a small rocking armchair ($39 at the thrift store!) so my cozy book corner is complete.

Here is something I am putting together with some of that fabric: a table runner.

On top of the shelf are some things I love: a poem given to me from a friend who died of breast cancer, an origami crane from another friend, a crochet piece my mom did, figurines from my girlhood, shells to remind me of my love for the salt water, and even a picture of me. That’s there as a reminder to be nice to the little girl I still have inside.

On my windowsill I put out all of the little houses I collected as a small child. I loved these little English houses; I lived around them growing up. The post office was my favorite (not surprisingly!); I have TWO of those. I wonder….don’t you have stuff just stashed in boxes from growing up? Why not get some of it out where you can see it?

The rug on my floor was made by my husband’s grandmother. Oh how I wished I had known that woman! My little farmhouse desk sits behind it, with my wee red stool. It’s a Balimo, so my body dances around even when working on the computer. That company sponsors my husband’s podcast.

Next to my desk is a red rolling tray I picked up at another vintage market. On it is an old typewriter, and the two cases below house my Singer sewing machine and also my sewing notions.

And now for a dose of reality: what’s behind the closet door! It’s all of that miscellaneous *stuff* that I and my kids want to craft with but I don’t want them in front of me all the time.

There is a hutch with various things I like to use and look at: colored threads on wooden spools, wool felts, fabrics, hand dyed yarns and ribbons. Sometimes I just buy a little fat quarter or some of a fabric or a couple yards of ribbon I just like.

There’s the hutch by my girlhood desk. My bulletin board is just full of things and pictures and people that inspire me.

On my desk are pottery spice jars I love but don’t use in the kitchen, along with my Paddington Bear. He’s my muse, another piece of my girlhood.

In case you’re curious, this is the little painting I did there one night. Instead of blogging 🙂

One of my favorite things is on the floor, and I use it for a doorstop.

So that’s my craft room/office space! If you hang around this blog long enough, I’ll be sure to show you my kitchen remake. I’ve painted all of the top cabinets and now it’s time for what I call “phase 2”. Here’s a tease:

I hope you enjoyed your Sunday! I had a lovely afternoon baking (and eating) a chocolate cake, taking photos and sharing them with you. Now I’ve got to to out and trim some goat hooves so I will catch you all later.

Blessings,

Spring Cometh

February 24, 2013 2 Comments

Well, “finishing something” sounded like a great idea but alas resistance comes knocking and I am more than eager to open the door and allow it to hinder me. Although, I suppose I could say that I finished a book (I did), so that would in essence open up the opportunity to start things anew here and there, right? Ah yes, it’s so easy to relieve ourselves of checklists and deadlines, isn’t it? Yesterday I picked up a charm pack of Moda’s Noteworthy and am eager to make something with it for myself. I couldn’t help myself; it was fabric and the love of writing combined!

One thing I want to do more is to get outside to take a regular walk. Some days I am inside the house all.day.long. And at the end of those days? I’m lamenting, I’ve been inside allllll day lonnnnnng! And the next day I am busy with just one more load of laundry, just a few more minutes to wash the dishes, just a little more reading aloud…..and then the day is gone again! I want to obey the incessant call to go outside more often though, and with signs of spring to greet and delight my eyes, it shouldn’t be too difficult. Let’s hope.

Want to walk around with me a bit? Buds are forming on the trees, the witch hazel is in bloom, the garden beds are awaiting seeds. My goats are near to kidding and the hens are about to be penned up in their chicken tractor again for the season. The greenhouse is heated now, encouraging seedlings to grow, and daffodils are coming up. I love the coming scent of spring. Such a promise of new life!

I bet if you took your own walk, you’d see signs of the new season as well. And, like me, the twenty minutes or so of fresh air would be a welcome charge to encourage you in whatever projects you are working on, new ones and all.

Blessings,

Mapping Down Syndrome

February 16, 2013 5 Comments

I am trying to read Road Map to Holland but I can’t even get through the third paragraph of the first chapter without tearing up and putting the book down. It’s been four years and I can’t believe it’s still so raw deep down in there somewhere.

I remember the chaos, the confusion, the nursery, the tubes, the monitors. I remember that no one came to tell me what was wrong with my baby and that I was just left alone with a stoic nurse for hours after the cesarean. I remember just watching the clock move, its ticking taunting me. And how it was my husband that choked out the news to me over the nursery telephone that my baby was broken, that “they think she has Down syndrome.” I remember being so angry. Not that she might have that, but that I was her mama and she needed me as much as I needed her. “I don’t care! I want my baby!” And I meant Pronto.

It took even more time until I could see her. No one would allow her out of the nursery because she wasn’t holding her oxygen. And I was allowed to go see her “as soon as I could move.” Even now I feel the bile in my throat, remembering how cruel and unfair that sounded, how my legs could not move to get to her. Finally I convinced the nurse I was able to go, and she helped me into the wheelchair, at that point probably ignoring her own sensibilities that I was not quite all right yet. I vomited all along the corridors, nauseous and still drugged from the surgery. “I’m fine!” I would say and try to propel myself even faster.

Four years later, I am still trying to find my own road map. Do I teach her sign language or does that interfere with speech? Do I give her the expensive vitamins or are they a sham? How do I get her to stop grinding her teeth? We’ve talked to doctors and neurodevelopmentalists and groups on yahoo. Every one has an opinion and yet no one has the answers, the definitive *map* if you will. And sometimes the sheer amount of information out in internet-land is so completely overwhelming it offers me no hope but rather fodder for more mama-shaming because I feel so inept. Like Ruby got the wrong mama.

Tonight I give her a bath and put her snug to her bed. She’s a little ill and I wipe her nose and kiss her warm forehead. I remember reading somewhere that she has the immune system of a 65 year old man. I feel a bit guilty for that. I long to remove this thing, this Down syndrome, from her, but I know if I were able to, she wouldn’t be Ruby. I look her in the eye, make the sign, and say, “Mom”. She smiles large, and she says it too, one of the few words she knows. “Mom”. I kiss her again.

Maybe, somehow, we can write our own road map. And the drive won’t be so bad after all.

Blessings,

Finish Something!

February 16, 2013 Leave a Comment

Ironically I am not. Finished with something that is. My goal was to complete a project that has been on pause or forgotten about and I ended up doing what I normally do: Started a New Project.

I got inspired to do something with the pretty red fabric I’ve been stashing and naturally with Valentines Day around the corner, it was perfect timing. Never mind the *other* projects I’ve begun (at those “perfect times”) and sit limply awaiting for my hands to take them up again. This one needed to be done and pronto!

So I measured and cut up my fabric and put together two beautiful place mats. Yes, two. For a family of nine. Good grief. I think I mentally shut down my brain from too much Pinterest drooling.

The next night I recut them up and sewed them together to form a tablerunner instead. And now it is sitting on my sewing desk waiting for me to, well, finish it. I have one more border to sew on and then will figure out how to tie it together. I’m thinking of using red and white buttons. Or not. But now Valentines is passed and the urgency is gone.

The problem (amongst many) with having too many unfinished projects lying around is that it cheats me (and you!) of time, money and energy. It is almost like having too much debt in too many places; it is not only hard to get ahead but begins to feel like a great burden (or two or four or twelve…). Furthermore, these undertakings only look cute and cozy tucked here and there and everywhere when they’re picked up and dealt with on a regular basis, otherwise they look (and are!) dusty and old news. In fact, I still have the quilt I decided to handquilt almost 15 years ago, and it has been “almost finished” for most of that time. Of course now I hate the thing!

Deeper still, it is an issue of faithfulness and of counting the cost before beginning. Before starting anything new, whether it be a book or a craft or a homesteading skill, there are good questions to ponder:

If it’s something new I’m learning, do I have the time to give this my full and fair attention?
Will taking on this new thing be a blessing to me and/or to my family? Does it in some way serve others?
Do I have a reasonable amount of time to finish this? Or is it something that will be ongoing that I will need to create time and space for? (If so, what other thing needs to go?)
Will it in any way glorify God and advance His Kingdom?

Now, those would have been good and dandy questions to figure out before embarking on the multitude of projects I currently have! So, much like crawling out of debt, I am going to spend my Lent finishing what I can. I believe that when one task or project or book is done, it will give me the pluck and spizzerictum to tackle the next one, and the next one…

Here’s a little brain dump of projects for me to complete:

embroidering my apron
our 2012 family photo album
my blog and book and magazine projects
binding my baby’s quilt
at least half of the books stacked by my bedside
of course that red table runner!

There are plenty of other ongoing projects that I can’t finish during that time, but I think I can make at least some good progress on them.

Are you in the same boat? Let me encourage you:

Finish Something!

Faithfulness in the half-begun or almost-done projects at hand will bring not only completion, and not only peace and a sense of satisfaction, it will free up your head space and days and energy for the next thing you endeavor to do.

Feel free to check out what my friend at Ponder the Path has to say on the subject. Maybe she finished something for this topic!

Opportunity and Strawberries

February 5, 2013 6 Comments

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Sir Frances Bacon

Yesterday I carefully teased apart and planted the strawberry starts I had purchased at the local nursery. My previous strawberry bed had become a wasteland of sticks and leaves and dried up remains of hard thimble-sized red things I could not bring myself to put to my mouth even when fresh because disappointment never tastes sweet. I wasn’t sorry to pull the scraggly things out, vines tangling into leftover pansies. It was satisfying to thump the excess dirt off of them, to make room for the new pot o’possibilities I was working with.

It wasn’t really a fit time to pull out the remnants and fresh up the lot though. I had just set the dishwasher running and as I wistfully looked outside I heard the playful squeaks of my nine month old stirring from her nap. I glanced at the clock and swiftly wiped my hands on the limp hand towel. I ducked between spits of rain while getting sorely reminded that I’ve gone without a decent pair of garden gloves for two years running now, mostly because I am so forgetful that I need them replaced unless I am deep in dirt. It was cold. The circumstances certainly weren’t convenient.

The problem with waiting for the time or means to accomplish anything, is that in the waiting time still flies and whatever means are available remain unused.

Why should I wait for a laptop when a pencil will suffice?

Why should I forgo a meal of rice and beans when choice meats are yet in hand?

When no one will employ me for my brains, what may I do with my hands?

Opportunity, like breath, is ever present until life itself is snuffed. With each new morning comes liberty to pray, to steal away a few minutes to read a psalm, to knit just one row, to cradle a cup of tea or even to watch the breeze finger the leaves on the tree outside. Opportunity often comes by the moment, unplanned and without announcement, and in peace. It is the opposite of distraction and the wild restlessness of worry and hurry. Opportunity does not come dressed in frenzy nor in promises. It simply, I think, comes as an invite to unfurl a bit of the tangle of your to-do list, or even to rethink what ought to be there. Sometimes the opportunity is an opportunity to rip up the to-do list.

Fifteen minutes later the strawberries were planted and I was warming my fingers under soapy water. The tea kettle was put on, the baby was satisfied.

And so was I, pondering how good that first thick red strawberry this summer will be.

——-

**This post was offered for the Christian Writer’s Blog Chain. For more reading on this theme, please see the right hand side bar for more bloggers participating.

Homeschoolers and the College Question. College Plus: An Option Worth Considering

February 2, 2013 5 Comments

“Knowledge, learning, talents are not necessarily connected with sound moral and political principles. And eminent abilities, accompanied with depravity of heart, render the possessor tenfold more dangerous in a community.”

Noah Webster

“Oxford did little to improve John’s spiritual life…”

Basil Miller, John Wesley

Homeschoolers are out-of-the-box parents and educators. There are many stripes of homeschoolers but the basic foundation to them all is a willingness and passion to disciple their own children. The question for us all, then, is what are we to do about college? Unfortunately, schools of upper learning seem to be more and more about indoctrinating young adults into a worldview that is more and more unlike what their parents had in mind in furthering their child’s discipleship and *education*. Furthermore, not only are young adults leaving those institutions with a burdening debt-load, but they are not necessarily finding the job market open to them just because they now have a piece of paper with their name and school on it. And even more, these young adults are exposed to (and encouraged!) to experience and engage in wildly immoral practices in the name of “the college experience” that sometimes, heartbreakingly, lead to life changing mistakes and regrets.

If you as a homeschooling parent (or even if you’re not homeschooling!) are pondering any of these things, I encourage you to (continue! or start!) to think outside-of-the-education box with regards to the College Question. In my opinion, and especially after this interview, College Plus is definitely an option worth considering. Let me know what you think!

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Daniel Craig, Regional Admissions Director

Blessings,

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Does Your Home Have These Three Foundations?

January 26, 2013 4 Comments

I like to read through the Bible, front to back, in addition to Psalms and Proverbs. Some days I get a half hour or more of reading, and others I’m just thankful for the short devotions I had with my babies. This morning I found myself in 1 Chronicles. It is full of genealogies, lists upon lists of names. It reminded me that the Bible is a historical book, with real names and real battles and real lives. But I admit my attitude in approaching it was sort of pathetic.

“Ok, Lord, you say that all Scripture is profitable. Please profit me here in all these lists!”

That’s not even the faith of a molecule, much less a mustard seed.

But I did get three charges for me and my family life.

One, that training character is huge. Many times I read names that had attached, “mighty men of valor”. Valor is courage in the face of danger, and I can’t think of any danger that we face that doesn’t have at its seedbed either (1) lies from the devil or (2) God’s trial to expose to ourselves what we are really made out of (like He’s so shocked about what we do. Not!). Courage is cultivated from standing on Truth. Too often we are satisfied with sitting in our own dung rather than gum up the courage to make changes to get out of it because it would just prove what our hearts were already accusing ourselves of. Pride is the opposite of courage, and it makes us weak.

Two and Three, that knowing and keeping are two different things. Knowing the Truth isn’t enough. Keeping the Word of the Lord and communing with Him in prayer is our very life. It is, in fact, from whence Truth comes. Ultimately, these failures not only killed Saul, but his legacy as well.

1 Chronicles 10:13-14 So Saul died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it…

May I ask?

When you awake in the morning to where does your heart and mind fly?
Are you eager to hear from the Lord, to read His Word?
Do you hunger after it throughout your day and meditate upon Scripture?
Are you talking with Him as a friend at all, or only as a hero to save you from your circumstances?
Are you talking with Him in praise and prayer at all?
Or are you looking to the world for your every answer, your every solution, your every path and next step?
Or maybe, like Saul, you simply reason within yourself and do that which you feel is right. You behave in reality like the pagans, believing that tomorrow will be just the same as a blissful today, taking advantage of God’s longsuffering and grace.

2 Peter 3:4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.

It matters because as a servant is not above his master, so shall our children not grow in their hearts beyond our own witness in deed. It is not enough to just honor the Lord with our lips (Isa 29:13).

If we truly desire “very able men for the work of the service of the house of God” (1 Chron 9:13), then we must put aside those things (and people) that hinder us from reading and studying His Word and that distract us from putting the Lord first in our lives. If those failures were enough to slay Saul and all his house, what makes us think our own lives and children are not in similar danger?

I’m encouraged that character training, Bible study and prayer ought to be the foundations of my home and homeschool. It is a light burden, a delightful one, really. When you realize that everything else will fall into place around those pillars, it gives courage to plant those pillars deep.

And a big lesson learned: don’t skip reading those genealogies!

Blessings,

Peasant Bread: Sourdough

January 15, 2013 1 Comment

Salt. Water. Flour.

And starter.

That’s how easy it is to gather the ingredients for simple, wholesome sourdough bread.

I remember the folks at Forgotten Way sharing how we ought to for the sake of health and finances “eat like a peasant” more. Well, by choice or by force, more of us are moving towards eating like peasants but that’s no reason to give up our daily bread if desire and finance dictate that bread ye shall have!

It used to be that with those four ingredients I listed any homestead could not only make bread, but have enough starter to begin another batch (and another…). And nowadays….any home still can.

When I first began baking my own bread, the ingredients included things like honey or extra gluten or vitamin C powder. And of course, the instant yeast. These kinds of modern day recipes would have been pretty near impossible to deal with a few generations back, not to mention that those extra ingredients cost extra money. Commercial yeast has only been around for the last 140 years or so and it is just one area of our lives that we have become chained to dependency. After all, who can make commercial yeast? Flour, water and salt are far easier to come by.

I encourage you to experiment with and to try sourdough baking. The first time you pull a crackly loaf of sourdough bread out of your oven your chin will be damp with drool! The whole process is actually very satisfying. There are ways to wash and revive starters you think you’ve killed and even “failures” such as flat boules come out delicious (croutons!).

Currently I am rotating four different starters. Each has a different flavor, a different personality. Some are quick and some take their easy-going time. Some announce their sourdough-ness loud and clear and others just whisper it. All are yummy!

My project these days with sourdough revolves around dehydrating starter for safe keeping. What if I were to forget to save some starter or break the jar? What if none of my friends kept the sourdough starters I shared? What if I couldn’t just go online and order more starter? What if bread at the store hits $18 a loaf? (I know, I know….that could never happen….)

All I’m saying is that if you’re looking for a skill to work out and learn, sourdough baking is pretty near perfect. There are a lot of informative sites and recipes on the internet, but these have been my favorite books to learn and work out of (I’m old-school that way):

May your breads be filling and a delight to all of your senses and to your family around your table. Baking like a peasant is not so bad.

Feel free to check out my friend Jasmine’s thoughts on the subject, too!

Blessings,

Forward

January 5, 2013 10 Comments

The posting trot I was in put my right brain into full drive and allowed the more responsible, list making, planning, fault-finding, detail-oriented left side of my hammer brain to melt into nothing more than an acknowledging nod to the sound of Lola’s rhythmic breath. I held the reigns loosely and kept my eyes soft, allowing myself to become a horse-person, a single moving entity.

“Heel down, Khhareee…goooooood! Ehhhk-salent!”

The ground was soft with the scent of dirt, barely coming up in wisps around her legs as we moved around the arena, obeying directions even as we exercised the otherworldliness of horse and rider.

I began horse riding again (after three decades) on a whim. One lazy afternoon I googled arenas around me. And then I visited one on a rainy morning. And a week later I was standing aside a 16 1/2 hand thoroughbred trying to remember how to put a bridle on properly. I wanted to be reminded about the girl I was. The one that liked riding horses. Liked reading novels. Liked tackling new skills with pleasure and curiosity rather than subjection and duty. I was burned out. I had forgotten how to play.

Blogging was wonderful six years ago. Then it became a piggyback to everything I was doing and I found that I was unable to keep up, and I didn’t even care to open the computer at all, for anything. “Besides”, I told my husband, “there is nothing I could say that someone else hasn’t already said bigger and better anyway.” The joy of just sharing, just writing, had petered into the likes of an overdue term paper.

And homeschooling was a delight when it was all about playdough and read alouds but somehow it became all about college preparation and soothing my poor gnawed cuticles. I wasn’t good at it, it was too hard. Nothing got in my face more than visions of disapproval for all the ways I was failing. Failing. In my own stupid visions (nightmares?) shaped by my own stupid fears shaped by my own stupid isn’t-everyone-else-doing-it-that-way aspirations. (Is it kosher to say “stupid” on my blog?)

And homemaking became about mopping on Tuesdays and menu planning on Thursdays and even our marriage hit potholes. More than once I said out loud that I just couldn’t do it all anymore. And I think my heart heard my mouth and the honesty burned.

And so I stopped. Dropped out of writer’s groups and stopping writing. Stopped dreaming. Stopped making lists. Stopped being enchanted by the rain and started complaining about getting wet. Found myself wondering at 5:00 what in the world I was going to make for supper when everything I could use was frozen. Put my half-worked projects aside (because who cares, anyway) and just allowed for shallowness.

But God. Thank God.

He is good at waking the dead.

One morning I journaled (in between the whining) about twenty things I would do if I could do anything. And, what do you know…there have come whispers of encouragement, Bible verses to hound me, His presence like the feel of angels wings upon my shoulders and letters from the mailbox and invites to coffee dates from friends I hadn’t seen in years. Tasks I had burdened myself with oughta’s started going away, simplifying my days and clearing my mind. I allowed my hair to grow out its gray and with the last snip of color I felt like I was finally going to let myself be me. Even as none on that list have fully come to pass, small hints have come my way like secrets falling from leaves. And I am beginning to listen and pay attention more.

“Gooooood Khareee!…..Now circle ‘round and do your two-point post……”

I wish I knew non-nebulous plans for all I want to do, but right now I am enjoying the dis-quieting quieting of all the lists and plans and am learning to let my paths form as I trail them. Sometimes that means take-out suppers and board games and floors that aren’t mopped for the week.

I grabbed onto the rough mane of the horse, her brown hair entwined through my fingers as I lifted into position. I’m not sure exactly where I’m going, but it just feels good to move in a direction for once not planned and outlined by me, to allow a brand new year to unfold and open at its own pace. Somehow, I think as I settle into a sitting trot, it just feels good to simply be moving forward, and that’s all right for now.

——-

**This post was offered for the Christian Writer’s Blog Chain. For more reading on this theme, please see the right hand side bar for more bloggers participating.

Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2012 2 Comments

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.

2 Corinthians 9:15

From our home to yours, Merry Christmas!

Can Mothers Adore Thee Un-Joyful?

December 23, 2012 3 Comments

Well, I think I’m as ready as I’m gonna be. The cards are getting sent out late, but I have a little something for each child to unwrap on Christmas day and that makes me feel “ready”. But I’m having a hard time with remembering mamas all over the world that not only have no gift to bring, but no child to gift it to. I wonder how those mothers in Connecticut are doing….and those mothers in gang infested cities whose children are wooed into drug culture…and those mothers in Africa with nothing in the pot to stir to bring to their baby’s lips…and those mothers whose children are kidnapped, sold into slavery or killed by fanatics….and those mothers who feel their only recourse is to either expose their babies to the elements or to dump them into institutions where a meal might be served, but hugs and love will be lacking. I’m thinking of mothers who deal every day with children with special needs, with children who are mentally unstable, with children whose hearts are either terminally diseased or eternally hard. I am grieved for governments that terminate parental rights and otherwise break down the foundations of family. I am sad for mothers whose babies were either killed or died before getting to be held in arms. It’s the mothers I’m thinking of these days.

I know Jesus loves the little children. Won’t He love their mothers, too? Even if they are feeling unjoyful? And, if joylessness is sucking mamas into a dark hole, will their lack of adoration cast them deeper into the shadows? He who seeks for the lost sheep, won’t He reach into the pit for these mothers as well, who have no strength to look up?

I do believe that God in His goodness will bring about something redeeming from this madness that pains mothers because He ALREADY DID. All of this sorrow, this heartbreak, this evil in the hearts of men (and , face it, of mamas too) and the decaying of society and family and His beautiful world…THIS is WHY He came in the first place. And though the world still spins (His mercy and common grace keeps it so today), He has already pledged by His resurrection that He will return to set things aright once and for all eternity, and every mama that has repented of her own sins and put her faith in Jesus Christ will see on the other side of the veil the perfect results of the most vile sins because God will use them all for His glory and our good. Somehow.

And don’t we long for Him more when in the mess? And don’t we long to see justice done? And don’t we lose even more of our love for this world and become more heavenly minded? And…if Jesus *does* love the little children…are we not a little comforted that those children will never, ever, ever see or know pain ever, ever again? To be with God…what could possibly be better? And what a reunion that will be when mortal mothers meet their Maker as well. Will their awaiting children run to their arms? Will there be joy unspeakable?

But it hurts on this side of goodbye. And while I long to bring a shoulder to every hurting mama, I can at least offer it to the ones near me. The ones who have lost babies. Stillbirths. Miscarriages. Run over. The ones who pain through trials with their babies. Mental illnesses. Physical diseases. Wayward.

Maybe joy for these mamas comes not in the pain, but through the pain, where at the other end a new light dawns and a new mercy comes. Maybe HOPE is the new joy. Christmas is the response to the pain. Easter is the cure. (And no, I’m not just sharing this video because of the girl with Down Syndrome signing in it).

If your heart is hurting, may the Holy Spirit bring you a holy joy the world knows nothing of. May your mama’s heart know His love, and may you put your trust in Jesus Christ this Christmas. From one mother to another, O come, let us adore Him.

In a Cramming Consumption Mode

December 17, 2012 4 Comments

For better and worse, I’ve been in consumption mode and that is one reason I’ve been lacking in producing much of anything meaningful and worth the time either to write or to ask anyone to read. My absence here has been sniffed out even by more aggressive spammers, and I find myself logging on just to clear out the hundreds upon hundreds of comments that are enthralled with my blog design, clear writing and worthwhile information. It’s a bit akin to scraping out the crud under the sink plugs.

Some of what I’ve been reading and researching has been an impetus to think new thoughts, make changes, take risks and to focus on new skill sets. These sorts of affairs stretch me to keep learning and growing. I thrive on challenges, setting new goals, reaching for more.

But sometimes I’m not “thriving”. I find myself in a drunken stupor of information overload, where the best I can do at the end of it all is eat a bowl of ice cream with fatigued eyes and brain smarts and more than a slight discomfort over how much more I have to learn, do, plan for and practice. And of course my time frame is always, “right now”.

Right now, I want to know things. Right now, I want to grow in my skill sets. Right now, I want the look, the feel, the knowledge and the energy. Naturally, I realize I will not master these things “right now” but I long to at least set goals and work the schedule to pick at them. So I fiddle with the clipboard and paper and pencil (my computer will never be as important as those tools) along with my ice cream and make the LISTS. It’s like a lengthy menu plan with which I need to buffet my way through in order to achieve the goals I’ve set. It involves YouTube videos and classes and time and study and more time and a good heap of books sitting in my shopping cart on Amazon. And, I devour all of the information offered to me through blogs and more books and folks of various stripes. Sometimes I make myself dizzy with it all and end up with yet more ice cream to help its digestion! And the wee hours beckon to me, night lights and nursing babes besides, additional hours to gorge myself with yet more information.

I didn’t say all of the consumption was good.

Two questions I recently scratched out onto green sticky notes and set before my face on my desk.

1. What are you working on today?

2. Does it advance God’s kingdom?

Oh yes, my answers were and are self-affirming. Of course these are all worth working on or I wouldn’t be doing them. Of course it all advances God’s kingdom. Of course…(???)

Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Psalms 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. 1 Corinthians 1:3 Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ……

I’m not sure what all the rush is, really, and what drives the “right now”. Even if I accomplished everything tomorrow, there would be more to do. And I’m not so sure I want to sprint like a wild woman to the end of my life. Running the race ought to be a purposeful plodding. I need to contemplate my overeating and slow down, look at my schedule again and plan for smaller, more meaningful portions. All of this “right now” thinking has only gotten me to feeling bloated in brain and body, and I need a detox (“I know…I’ll blog about it and download my brain…”).

Maybe tomorrow I put tea, a board game, and a nap on my list of to-do’s. Maybe I skip the list altogether. Maybe tomorrow I just work on tuning my ears to my Friend Jesus, to really hear what He has to say. Somehow I think He’s been waiting for me.

Blessings,

Living the Forgotten Way Lifestyle

December 3, 2012 3 Comments

Daniel and Abby Jo are joining us to share their off-grid experiences with living the Forgotten Way. You’re sure to enjoy their story!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Daniel and Abby Jo are no longer blogging, but you can still find their website here.

The Grandpa Jakes Campfire Cooker can be found here. Isn’t it a beauty?

This post joins up with the Homestead Barn Hop:

May you be blessed!

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Christmas and the Sense of Hunger

December 2, 2012 11 Comments

The man in front of me could not afford the $45 worth of groceries in his cart. Twice his card declined, and he politely told the cashier he’d have to come back “in December”. I glanced at the cart he abandoned as he left the store. It had real food in it: milk, oatmeal, fruit. I felt stupid waiting to pay for the cheese sticks and crackers for my kids, awkwardly saddened that this man walked away while the cashier just went on with her business, briskly asking how I was, did I find everything all right. Maybe she sees this every day. I swiftly went outside, looking for him, not really knowing what I would say except I wanted to somehow pay for his food. He had vanished. I wondered what he would eat tonight. I wondered if four gallons of milk was just for him. I wondered when he’d return for his groceries, “in December”. It was already the first day of December.

I contemplated much during that day that many people are hungry in their souls, too. They are not so obvious around us, no “declined” written on their sleeves, but they have not the Bread of Life, the Living Water. I marvelled at how my awkwardness extends not only to my wallet but to my lips, continually withholding the gospel. In truth I cannot offer Food without somehow exposing that their hunger exists, and that Jesus is a friend of hungry sinners. And therein lies the rub: my open wallet exposes their empty one. And wine and milk that may be bought without money and without price are put off for another time, for another “December” we are sure will come in time again, another year. Christmas always comes round again. Such thoughts that are uncaptive run amok.

For a man or woman spiritually hungry, I imagine the tinny Christmas music and reflective lights in the windows must seem a bit trite. The sights and sounds that are supposed to be a semblance of the joy of heav’n and nature singing somehow deepens the darkness of the shadows they cast instead. Do we who are fed to the full care to give the sense of Christmas? I’m afraid unless we recognize the much we are given, we will be lackluster in our giving. Unless we understand the Bible and its sense, we won’t be ready in any season to cause others to understand the whole message of this season.

The reason for the Christmas season, after all, is Easter. For those with ears to hear, they will never thirst again. Will we withhold Water just because we do not know the state of hunger pangs and wish not to offend those whom claim to be full?

I wish I had offered to pay for that man’s grocery cart. And that I could at least have given Him a tract too, that his soul might be nourished. Somehow, we both went away a little bit hungry today.

——-

**This post was offered for the Christian Writer’s Blog Chain. For more reading on this theme, please see the right hand side bar for more bloggers participating.

Basic Herbs in My Home

November 15, 2012 6 Comments

It’s that time of year when harvest is closed and the dark and cold outside foster rejuvenation of mind and body. It’s a time to find quiet, catch up on reading, pick up the knitting needles (or scrapbooking…or whatever…) again and take advantage of more hours to sleep. For me, it’s also a time to reassess what I need in my pantry and restock with foods that are fresh from the season. Whatever I was unable to grow myself (quite a lot, but that’s a different story) I try to purchase in bulk: boxes of fruit and nuts and pastured butter, half a grassfed cow, a full pig, dozens of salmon. It is nice to be prepared for those days (weeks?) of cold and snow and to know I don’t *have* to run to the store for every little thing. And other things like trays of soap curing in the basement feels good, too.

It’s also a good time to address the herbs and remedies and teas I have on hand. If someone in my family gets a sore throat, I don’t want to be wishing I had the right remedy on hand at that moment. That being said, I’ve learned I don’t have to keep EVERY little herb on hand. At one time I had easily hundreds of different herbs to use, but it was unnecessary. Most herbs have multiple uses, so you don’t need a whole bunch.

I now consider three basic things in deciding which herbs to keep on hand.

1. What is the purpose of it?

Do I want to keep a particular herb for seasoning foods? For treating coughs? For making a salve with? For soothing a fever? It is good to also start backwards: what do I think I am likely to be facing and how can I prepare a natural remedy for it? For example, at one point, I’ll probably have a child with a tummy ache. How do I want to treat that?

2. Does it grow nearby?

I really think there is something to finding and using the herbs that naturally grow nearby. Sure, I could use an herb that grows in the dry Southwest desert, but wouldn’t it make more sense to find one that grows near me in the wet Pacific Northwest? Never mind the sustainability of doing so (picking it right outside my door versus having it flown in by jet), but it just seems that plants that grow in the same environment as where I am living will marry better with my body.

3. Is it at all a part of my heritage?

This may just cancel out reason number two, but is the herb at all connected with my heritage, my genetic makeup, my DNA? For example, my mother is from the Meditteranean. Now I know that I’ll never grow red ripe tomatoes here for more than a week (if that), but oregano, thyme and rosemary are constant companions for me. True, these grow well in my garden (if not natively), but even if I were in the freezing Midwest, my body would just crave the herbs from that region from whence part of my family came.

Of course, all of those reasons can be thrown out the window and you can choose to use whatever you like!

Here are the herbs I personally consider must-haves for myself and my own family. From these I make salves, tinctures, teas and seasonings.

GARLIC….without a doubt, this is the one herb I would not want to be without. I consider it practically a cure-all! I use it for many, many ailments, and it is something that I grow every year. I use it liberally in cooking and even eat it raw. If you come to my house with a sore throat, expect me to give you a clove and encourage you to eat it!

PLANTAIN…grows everywhere around here. It is awesome for bug bites! I use it in my salve.

YARROW…also grows here and is a wonderful all around herb for use both internally and externally.

CALENDULA…works so well for face and beauty products. I grow this easy flower in my garden and it reseeds every year on its own (love that!). I like to steep the petals in oil as a base for any facial products I make. Furthermore, because it is excellent for the skin, I also use this in salves. And, it’s beautiful in salads, completely edible.

GINGER, SLIPPERY ELM, PEPPERMINT…all excellent for digestive woes. Peppermint is also wonderful for fevers. I grow peppermint in my garden, buy ginger from the store, and mail order the slippery elm. I’ve used slippery elm for my dairy goats as well.

THYME, OREGANO, ROSEMARY…used in my cooking on an almost daily basis.. All are grown in my garden. They are excellent for respiratory woes and are anti-bacterial for starters. Furthermore, not only do they make my food taste better, they make my food BE better.

COMFREY, ARNICA, ALOE….used externally and excellent for wounds, burns and bumps!

ELDERBERRY…a native plant here and wonderful in supporting the immune system in whatever ails it. ECHINACEA is also good but in my opinion can definitely be overused. Sometimes it actually makes people feel worse, especially if they have thyroid issues. I prefer to use elderberry.

Those are my favorites! I still need to make my year’s supply of salve and facial products, but I have my own harvests dried and ready for me to use. I do use homeopathic remedies and essential oils as well.

Do you have any favorites or must haves? Be sure to visit my friend Jasmine at Ponder the Path for more ideas on keeping an herbal medicine pantry.

You can also catch my podcast on Preventative Health Care for Families and, when prevention fails, Loving Health Care for Families.

Stay well!

Why Sons Need Their Father’s Leadership

November 13, 2012 Leave a Comment

How would you lead your barefoot son through a maze of bear traps? What if he were blinded to them? What if you were too busy doing other things to even notice he was embarking on that journey? And what does “slipping and checking” have to do with any of that?

Listen in on my husband’s talk he gave at a father-son retreat recently. This is a great listen even if you are a single mother, because the principles are just as relevant.

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Here is the photo referred to in the podcast:

And the book!

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Heirloom

November 11, 2012 11 Comments

My YaYa, brother and I bringing bread to the oven.

We crawled up the mountain on gravel roads for hours, slowly snaking up in the midst of dirt and brush and the odd dilapidated auto meeting us on the downhill. The passage was narrow and guardrails would have been pointless anyway. I remember the crunch of the tires on rock, the air drying out and heating up, the wooziness of the constant turning, turning, turning. But we got there.

My YaYa and PaPou lived in a small village in the Peloponnese in Greece. To outsiders, they were poor, barely sustaining in a two room home without the magic of outlets and faucets. To me, it was a wonder, it was honest, and it felt good within the folds of my YaYa’s strong arms as she exclaimed how tall and how beautiful I’d become. I didn’t understand half the words but I knew the meaning. Even my PaPou’s quiet presence enriched me, his eyes nodding approval from the small table he seemed to live at when he wasn’t sleeping.

My PaPou

The next morning I awoke with the hazy grey outside already pierced with warming sunlight. The air smelled like oregano. The village goats were cobbling up the path next to the house to pasture under the skilled direction of a young boy, their copper bells clanging in some sort of musical dissonance that still tinkered the air with charm. I climbed down from the bed, pushing aside the heavy and scratchy wool blanket that my YaYa had woven on the shared village loom, and snuck into the kitchen, hoping my grandmother was up. I wasn’t disappointed.

Our languages did not meld but her love to me did. She grasped me by the hand and sat me next to her by the small open hearth in the room. She pointed to my PaPou still sleeping in the corner bed and gave the donuts a flip. Yum! I was excited to be leaving the Fruit Loops at home. She powdered them with sugar and then my younger brother quietly padded in as well. The donuts melted in my mouth and I could have stayed there forever, bought for the promise of fresh morning goat’s milk warmed with shaved chocolate.

In later years, frying up donuts with my brother and I

Later that day my cousins showed and we spent our fleeting hours playing, riding the neighbor’s donkey and walking the narrow paths into the village with containers to fill up with fresh water from the shared well. As dusk arrived the goats were returned, the bread pulled from the fiery cavern with a long paddle, and supper included fresh feta cheese and brined olives and I can’t remember what else but hunger was staved. Dozens of visiting cousins and adults all slept in one room that night, beds pressed wall to wall. The quietness was palpable over the village, the stars glowing night lights of pause and peace.

If an heirloom is an item that represents another person of value, then I have the scratchy wool blanket my YaYa wove for me (she made one for each of my twenty-seven cousins, too). But the heritage she left for me was far more valuable. She bore twelve children and her living was hard work, but it was separated from the chaos of city, it was simple, and it was sustainable. She died in her mid-eighties, not long after being brought into Athens for health care. I’m not sure that taking her from her home didn’t hasten her death.

The path to the village

The little house still stands in the village, but I hear it’s been remodeled. A new working kitchen with faucets. An enclosed porch to keep the flies away. Electricity. Even the roads are paved. I will never go back, except in my heart and mind.

My YaYa was the richest woman I ever met, and I desire to reflect the loving heirloom of her life.

**This post was offered for the Christian Writer’s Blog Chain. For more reading on this theme, please see the right hand side bar for more bloggers participating.

**This post was also offered for:

The Mid-Fall Homeschooling Slump

October 30, 2012 6 Comments

To be a schoolmaster is next to being a king. Do you count it a mean employment to imbue the minds of your fellow citizens in their earnest years with the best literature and with the love of Christ, and to return them to their country honest and virtuous men? In the opinion of fools, it is a humble task, but in fact it is the no lest of occupations.

Desiderius Erasmus, Dutch scholar and theologian

The end of October and I am wondering how many homeschooling mamas are already hanging their heads in their hands, wondering (again) what they are doing wrong, why their children aren’t progressing anywhere near the incredible standards of the 1800’s, how in the world they ended up with (apparently) the wrong curriculum (again), and trying to remember and convince themselves that yes, homeschooling was the right choice and no, they aren’t complete failures because supper was late (again) because they were busy that day trying to teach place values to their first grader while overseeing sentence diagramming with their high schooler while the baby was nursing while (fill in the blank…inhale….).

Any resemblance to myself is a coincidence.

This mid-fall slump is typical for most educators I know. When I was a public school teacher, by the time the leaves were falling off the trees we were already gathered in lunch rooms and in inservice trainings discussing the areas that just weren’t up to what we had hoped for when we were planning with fresh starry eyes before Labor Day. By the end of October, we were reassessing everything and trying (or not) to make the necessary changes. We were holding parent conferences which really weren’t about working with parents (because if that were the case, we ought to have met long beforehand), but about reporting to them. We had our easy students (the ones who loved learning what anyone was teaching) and we had our challenges (the ones who figured our weak spots and capitalized on them). A lot of our hopes by then were tarnished by the reality of dozens of students to keep track of or of politics (and magazing-selling assemblies) that got in the way of teaching.

Why am I telling you that? Because I don’t want you to grow weary, to think that Someone Else would necessarily teach your child better than you. What we as school teachers didn’t have, and I say this plainly, was a real, invested interest. So although that mid-fall slump was there, it was dealt with (or not), we got over it and just started counting the days to ~~Christmas vacation~~ winter break.

I’m not saying we didn’t care about these students. Sure, we did. That’s why most of us were teaching; we had a love for education and for children! BUT….for better or worse, these students were not our kids. We may have been happy when kids did well and disappointed when they didn’t, but they weren’t our kids. If a child wasn’t getting the multiplication tables down by the end of the sixth week, we weren’t really losing any sleep over it because the next teacher would deal with that. Or so we hoped.

Homeschooling is difficult sometimes because we mamas ARE “the next teacher”. Furthermore, there is no one else that loves our children more than we do so our investment runs deep. No one else gets that deep-down-to-the-pit-of-our souls desire to see the light bulb go on for 3×7=21. That’s one of the reasons why we homeschool. And that’s also why when we don’t hit the bar (that we have either had set for us or set for ourselves) it feels like the dumps, especially when it feels like the “school year” just got started.

Sometimes it’s good to look in the rearview mirror, to see how far our children have come. And I don’t know about you, but I have the required-by-state-law proof-in-the-pudding that they’re at least kicking some hiney.

Sometimes the reason why everything’s on the back burner is because the roof’s fallen in someplace. Someone died. There was a divorce. Grandma moved in. Dad lost his job.

Sometimes it is just a good time to reassess and problem solve. Maybe you need to use your crockpot more. Maybe you need to actually put together a schedule. Maybe you need to ask the Lord for guidance. Maybe your commitment isn’t where it needs to be. Maybe you need to say “no” to more outside activities.

Whatever the case, it’s also good to remind ourselves that regardless of academic standing, what we’re investing in is largely unseen. We are building the heart.

A heart for God and a love of Christ. A heart for family, built through the everyday messiness of living with real messy people in real messy homes. A heart for healthy foods, healthy exercise, healthy play. A heart for wholesomeness and a real childhood. A heart for work, for dreaming, for discipline and for community. Cultivating the heart is what matters the most. Don’t press so hard to “succeed”, to work that curriculum, that you discourage their hearts (and yours).

If you’re in that mid-fall homeschooling slump, be of good courage. It is better than being a queen to be able to homeschool and hand a pencil to your own child with true motherly love. Let’s enjoy our babies and give gratitude to the Lord for the liberty to school them at home, trusting Him for the results as we by faith just do the next step that we know how.

Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Have a lovely week homeschooling.

The Reality of Living Off the Grid

September 21, 2012 2 Comments

Meet my off-grid friend!

Bugging out to live off the grid sounds very intriguing, especially in our current economy with our need to simplify and downsize. But what is it really like? Listen in on the conversation I had with a young mother, telling me a bit of how it really is.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download