My days are full of children,
but my spare minutes involve yarn and paint
Evening is when I finally get to have a bit of quiet and settle into a book, right before I close my eyes for the night. Because it is at the end of my day I may get only half a short chapter read on a topic that currently interests me before I fall asleep. It doesn’t seem like much.
And yet, over time, it is.
As much as I’d love to schedule an hour of quiet study time or sewing or writing (or…) in my day, I am a mother of many children and most of them can sense from the other side of the house that “Mom is alone and trying to focus on something” no matter what time of day it is. I am also homeschooling all of those children so they have need of me to be present: physically, mentally and emotionally. These people are not “interruptions” to my own ambitions (see my book Present for my lessons learned), so, unlike the precious and primary responsibilities of my tasks and responsibilities as a wife, mother and homemaker, the “wouldn’t it be nice” dreams or crafts are fit into spots here and there.
In my experience, goals and dreams don’t need a whole lot of focus, but rather the commitment to plant them and make sure there’s a bit of watering now and then. They still pop up like daffodils in the end, no matter how long the slow slumber feels.
As an example, I enjoy art journaling. It’s a perfect art for me–I can’t finish it in one sitting even if I wanted to, because layers of paint take time to dry. So my art page usually goes something like this: gesso or paint on the page (get on with the rest of my morning)…tear papers and collage with glue (get on with the rest of my afternoon)…add some stamps or inks or more paints (let it go until the next day)…and so on. Little by little, the piece gets done.
I call this sort of working “picking at it”. Just little bits at a time, the thing is accomplished. I’ve made countless quilts while raising my littles, and they were done the same way: a few squares cut at a time, perhaps 15 minutes on the machine while supper is cooking or babies are playing. It’s the same way I knit (one row at time), weave (one throw at a time), or read (one chapter at a time, if I’m lucky enough to stay awake). It’s also how I managed to get a number of advanced studies done from home (one homework assignment at a time).
Maybe you have a big goal or dream that is in your heart, but feel daunted by its size or your real lack of time. But can you paint your kitchen one cupboard at a time, plant a garden one 2’ x 2’ bed at a time, or read the entire Bible one section at a time? That seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Truly, we ought not to despise the small things.
Or perhaps you have a multitude of things you’d like to do and feel paralyzed on where to start and so never begin (or is that just me?). One problem may be saving (via “likes” or pins, etc.) so many pictures and projects for inspiration that we never actually DO anything with all of that inspiration. It’s overwhelming and can dampen any enthusiasm or energy to put even one great idea into motion. Indeed, we may feel accomplished for all of the saving we did even if nothing evolves in reality!
I am convinced most of us have time to at least “pick at” a project. As I mentioned in the last blog post, many challenges could be mitigated with a schedule (or routine) and an objective tool such as a timer or a smartphone app. Sure, you may not sew up for yourself an entire wardrobe while you’re chasing around a toddler (or three), but you might get one beautiful shirt that you love sewn. And one is more than none.
Other than picking at goals a little here and there, here are four more thoughts towards achieving goals and dreams even while maintaining a commitment to serving your family in a very busy home:
- You don’t have to share those goals and dreams with everyone (or anyone)…
Have you ever shared a particular interest to learn something and gotten negativity in return? It doesn’t matter if you want to throw pottery or a softball, someone will find fault in it or try to shame you for it. Share sparingly. - …but you’d be blessed if you shared them with your children.
On the other hand, engaging your children with this part of your life is so good for building relationship. Let them watercolor with you, feed the goats with you, or try making sauerkraut with you. Let them be WITH YOU. Even if they discover that your interest isn’t so interesting, they’ve learned by your example that learning and trying new things is a lifelong and joyful process. - Your goals don’t have to have a “point”.
Yes, sometimes what you set as a goal is useful (such as earning extra money by it), but art or gardening or learning to, I don’t know, thatch a rooftop, for its own sake is useful, too because it allows for self-expression and ultimately brings you beauty and pleasure. It doesn’t matter if you can buy eggs from the store for half the price if keeping the hens delight you. - You don’t need to “arrive”.
Lastly, if your interests change, it doesn’t mean you wasted your time in previous endeavors. God uses everything in our lives to challenge us, grow us, and ultimately point us to Himself. Your education and practice is not a waste if it never makes you famous or rich. It’s all right to abandon a dream that has lost its luster and do something else instead. It’s not a sunk cost of time or money, because you squeezed out everything you could at the time you were engaged with it. Now? Not so much, so let it go and go build something else.
Do you have some goals or dreams turned off just sitting on the back burner going cold? Let them come up front and have a slow simmer instead. Pick at those projects a wee bit at a time. Forget giving yourself a “deadline”. Over time, even if your days are full of energetic and messy children, the thing will get done. Soon enough, those children will be grown and gone and you might have all the time in the world to do what you please. Don’t pine for those days but instead enjoy the little snippets you have right now to dabble and play alongside them. It’s not “choose between raising children or chasing your dreams/talents”. It’s “and-both”. Together, in due time.
Blessings,
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