The “Unrelated Just Because I Like It” Photo
The door opened to a floor cluttered with clothing, dolls, hairbands, clothespins, paper of all variations, and strips of yarn twisted into odd snake shapes intertwined through it all. On the bunks, stuffed animals were hanging from the rails, wearing all manner of clothing that had been pulled from the drawers that now lay askew on the hinges. Books, plastic bears, and a pieces of banana peel were left as offerings sprinkled throughout. Any other plans dissipated. I closed the door (easy fix), backed up to go down the stairs, and put on the kettle for hot water instead. This was going to take reinforcements. Like chamomile. With honey.
Except I don’t really want the reinforcement. I really want to do something else. Anything else. Like snowboard down a hillside. Anything other than the task calling to me at the moment: to teach, correct, disciple, clean. Again. Some days are just like that.
On those days, I wonder if it would be different if I had my old career back, as if the monotony or stress or boredom wouldn’t ever present there. It seems a little akin, however, to a sheep sticking her nose through the fence to whiff the greener grass on the other side whilst she tramples the verdant abundance right by her feet. So there must be a way to focus on the tasks and responsibilities as they are, such as parenting or homekeeping, even on “those days” rather than look for ways to avoid them. After all, there is no garden without weeds and sweat in the work, so we need to learn to embrace the blahs of picking up stray socks and even be grateful for them, or our own homes will never flourish to the extent we crave them to bloom.
And, good news, there is help to be had if a schedule is considered. Or, if that bristles you the wrong way, a routine. 🙂 The entire world is on a schedule: 24 hour days, 7 days a week, tides that ebb and flow, seasons in rotation. Why would we think that our own lives can’t flourish in boundaries of time management?
First, I find my best work done in chunks of focused time. So I may have a routine of homeschooling after breakfast, but take a break after 60-90 minutes or so to go do something else: check the laundry, pull out the vegetables for chopping, look at my email, or throw on another coat of paint in my art journal. Or all of the above.
Focused time to do the work that matters most to me doesn’t work very well if I am checking my email (or social media) every seven minutes. That works about as well as checking my laundry every seven minutes. Knowing I have 23 minutes left on the machine….now 16….now 9…doesn’t help my focus anymore than knowing I have a new email to read and respond to…and now another…yet one more….
Does that make sense? For example, if you’re learning to bake a pie, you don’t have to watch a TV show and talk on the telephone at the same time. If you pay more attention to your pie crust, you’ll end up with a happier result. You might even notice those slight observations that make your pie even better (“Ah! I was adding too much flour before!” or “Whoa….those apples sure chop less mushy than the other type I was using.”) Without focus and observation, however, those little whispers of wisdom are lost and frustration can set in when you feel like you’ve been baking pies forever and berate yourself because you still can’t seem to get it right.
So, try a schedule. You could even schedule when you’ll check your email or social media. I don’t recommend checking either first thing in the morning, nor last thing at night, however. Let your morning be a chance to read from God’s Word, journal, or stretch. Let your last hour before bed be an opportunity to read a paperback novel or spend time in prayer.
Secondly, be honest about your screen time if you are not satisfied with meeting your goals. Moment is a wonderfully helpful app: it will mark time and tell you just how many times you picked up your smartphone and how much time you are spending on it (and on what apps). And when that knowledge hurts (you may be shocked!), you can set your own parameters for when you’ll allow screentime and for how long. Again, it goes back to managing your time, scheduling, for the purpose of regaining focus.
We can’t fool ourselves. We show how distracted we are by all of the tasks and responsibilities we leave undone or not done well and sometimes give ourselves excuses rather than tools. If you’re finding your own efforts discouraging, I’d encourage you to think about setting up routines and using objective tools to help you get serious about giving your life more thought and consideration.
Who knows? With a better schedule and an app that yells at me to stay under my allotted time, maybe the kids and I will actually have a fruitful time together prettying up bedrooms and the heaped laundry will get put away before the next wash day 🙂
Blessings,
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