Not too long ago I set words to my ponderings and since then it seems I’ve done nothing else other than add more. The problem with contemplating so many possibilities for so much is that it builds on a foundation that presupposes a right answer or direction is possible–if only there was enough time to think, read, research, argue, plan and purpose. And I’m not sure that this is the way to go about deciding which horizon is the one I ought to set foot towards. Oy. Pondering about my ponderings….Pooh bear would be so proud.
And, naturally, how my life is lived affects others for better or worse (or, perhaps more pathetically, with no effect at all). Choosing a direction, whether it is a lifestyle or haircut or even an opinion, leaves me open to either praise (causing me to battle my pride) or flat out character assassination from either frenemy fire or the devil himself (causing me to battle my co-dependent tendencies).
So I suppose I could just do, say, create, be nothing (is that even possible?). Or I could pursue everything, being all things to all people or swimming in so many projects that none of them bare a righteous harvest. What is the balance? How to choose the good, and to know peace through them regardless of the success…or fallout?
I am learning. And I believe the question I (we all?) need to ask more is this:
I really feel for Ananias. There he was, just minding his own business, walking with the Lord the best he knew how, and God impressed upon him to do something that made him tremble. And the man didn’t sit and ponder in his thoughtful place for days (decades?). He simply obeyed. That, methinks, took a lot of faith and courage. AND an ear that was tuned to begin with.
Will the Lord not lead our homes, our families, our projects, our dreams (and ourselves)? Is His arm too short to direct, His Words too few to hear, His Holy Spirit unable to give us direction? No. But we either run ahead making our plans and setting our opinions and crafting new projects and buying new books, OR sit in a puddle of self-defeat not trying anything at all, and then either lament our failures or find security in our successes before we ever think of inquiring, “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” Just because something *prospers* doesn’t mean it’s blessed of God (read those proverbs). And just because something *fails* doesn’t mean it wasn’t something the Lord foresaw and planned to use for something better.
Maybe, like Ananias, His answer would make us tremble. Maybe He would take away something we love to do or are comfortable with. Maybe He would ask us to detach from someone or something or somedream we dearly loved. Maybe….maybe He would ask us to be His hands and feet, to go and make disciples…and to do that in a way we would never choose for ourselves or in a way we do not see the point of (or the results of). Maybe whatever it is would tick folks off and you’d have to get cozy with their eyeball rolling or false flattery or secret/open disdain. I dunno. But if God Himself is leading….does it really matter? Who do you want to serve, really?
To let God lead, we must allow Him to shape our appetites and what we want to pursue (see Hebrews 2:8), and not pass it through the lens of our flesh or our emotions that, hello, are so deceitful (“hmm….I think that sounds right…feels good…seems like a good idea…..is validated by those so-n-so’s….would grant me favor….give me peace from my enemies…aligns with what I already believe…”)
Are you pondering the tasks you’re about? The projects you’re pursuing? The books/websites/blogs you’re writing/reading/visiting/planning? The housework/marriagework/parentwork? The time you spend on what you’re spending it on? The people you love/hate/lovetohate/hatetolove and how to respond and relate to them?
Whatever you are pondering, let me encourage you to STOP and be quiet a moment (or three). And truly, ask the Lord (if He is your shepherd), “what wilt thou have me to do?” Make reading, studying, and meditating upon His Word a priority so that you can do what you were created to do: hear His voice, and follow.
John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me…
You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs in the next few days with their ideas on letting the Lord lead, too. Tell them I sent you!
Blessings,
Great post, Keri Mae. Sounds like you spent some time in my head. 🙂
Great thoughts Keri! We forget the Lord is ever-present, even knows our thoughts. Being aware of where our minds wonder and dwell is quite a task to keep those thoughts on those things that are lovely,noble and worthy of praise. That is a task I struggle to master at times. 🙂 Blessings and continued success with your writing!
Pondering one's ponderings … hm … yes, that can be a very cathartic activity. At some point it is good to tangent away from the philosophical continuum, though, and just do something productive – for better or worse. It's often at that point (at least I find this to be true) that God show up and clarifies whether the activity in question is within His purposes for our lives. In other words, pondering must always lead to action, which leads to reflection … and so on.Thanks for this 'reflective' post.
nothing quite like a good ponder.biiiig hug
Thank you all for your kind comments, and for visiting me! I'm sorry to bow out of Christian Writers for a season; it's just me trying to manage my time and, of course, let the Lord lead :)Blessings,Keri Mae
Great thoughts Keri Mae. Can I just say this: I love reading here! Thanks for being a honest and fervent truth-seeker. You are a great encouragement.
Thank you for this post, Keri Mae. It is very thoughtful and thought-provoking. We'll miss you on CW but will keep an eyeball open for your return.
You hit me right between the eyes with this one, Keri Mae. I've been pondering and wrestling with so much of this recently–what to do, what NOT to do, how much time I have for any (or all) of it, how to make the best decisions for allocating my time.The key to the quest is the end of it–where you're going. If you have any hope of ever reaching that final place, it means you don't have time to explore all the lands between here and there. At some point, you have to hunker down and walk it out. You'll see a few new places along the way, but you just can't afford to see them all. Excellent and very relevant post, Keri Mae.
Good thoughts to ponder…Just because something "prospers" doesn't mean it's blessed of God (read those proverbs). And just because something "fails" doesn't mean it wasn't something the Lord foresaw and planned to use for something better.
Oh Amen! Spending time in the Word is truly what we must saturate ourselves with . To just, like you said, STOP and be quiet before the LORD of Life and seek His direction for our lives. We can get so confused with so many good voices when really the only one we need to tune into is our Shepherd's. I hope you have a blessed day!Love,Rebecca
That was very good! Thank you for sharing such a 'ponderous' post! 😀
Oh, Keri Mae, you're so right. It's all about relationship, not what we know, but Who we know, not how we feel, but Who we follow. When we stay close, sitting quietly at Jesus' feet, we learn to hear His voice and follow as He leads — just enough light for the next step. I enjoyed your post today. Thank you!
"To let God lead, we must allow Him to shape our appetites and what we want to pursue (see Hebrews 2:8)"Create in us a heart after You, and everything that waits in our future will be gladness and joy!
Very timely message, Keri Mae. In fact, I just asked the Lord the other night, "What would you have me to do?"Thank you so much for sharing this.
I have been asking this question about so many things for so long and I get nothing. Nothing. I pray, go to Mass all of the time, go to Bible study, read loads of books, listen to Christian radio stations for music and teachings and I hear nothing.
Apparently I am not one of His sheep if I cannot hear His voice.
Hello Todd
I do believe that once we repent and put our trust in Jesus Christ alone (and not in the things we do), we can in peace make those decisions that don’t seem to be such black and white answers from the Lord, knowing He is sovereign over all. While it is good to examine ourselves to see if we are truly in the faith, I am not saying that we will ever hear an *audible* voice of God. If you are uncertain if you are saved, I recommend sending an email to saved@wretchedradio.com. They are great at walking through this. If you are certain you are saved, you might try out their Decisions dvd: http://www.wretchedradio.com/store/product_details.cfm?id=295.
I’m not gaining anything from recommending them; I’ve just found their material to be very helpful. In the meanwhile, don’t be discouraged. He is always near to those that call upon His name, and I pray you will find the direction you are seeking from Him.
KeriMae,
Thank you for your reply. I have just been so frustrated over the past few years over things in my life that I have doubted much. I do know that I am saved. I do not doubt that. Sometimes I consider that question, but I always come back to the answer that I am, because I do understand how we are saved. Thank you for clarifying about the *audible* voice of God. As I seek counsel from websites, friends and mentors, whether Evangelical, Mainline Protestant, or Catholic about “HOW” does God lead, “HOW” do we hear Him, I am offered many well meant Bible verses that have become cliche, and almost just words anymore, as the implications are that I must be hearing directly from God like Moses or Jeremiah, or else maybe I’m not holy like people at a certain church, or there is a problem with my walk with the Lord and I need to “get right” with God. As far as I knew, it’s the Blood of Jesus that makes me “right with God.” God can speak to whom He will (like Paul on his horse), just as the Spirit goes where it will, because God speaks and calls to those not saved as well.
Again, thank you for clarifying about the *audible* voice of God. This has really been the crux for me lately. I do know of some people who claim God directs them on what to wear when they get dressed and what street to take on their way to work, and I think that is a bit far-fetched and unBiblical, although I have given it fair consideration.
Peace unto you,
Todd
“…it’s the Blood of Jesus that makes me ‘right with God.'”
That’s a fact, Todd! Thanks for your comments and peace to you as well, truly.