High 5 Moms

One Baby Lost, One Baby Held: A Wee Lesson for Me

May 17, 2012 2 Comments

The sunshine has been glorious. Any tourist passing through our area lately would surely remark how dishonest those Pacific Northwesterners have been regarding the gray, the gloom, the rain. The secret is out, it’s all a ruse, we have wonderful sunshine come spring.

Well…some years, anyway.

Because I’m not weeding anything this year the entire yard has been rejoicing in the warm sunshine as well, gleefully sending out shoots, roots and seedheads that sway and puff into the breezes. I wince a bit seeing the grass encroaching where it ought not, but console myself that this fall it will, Lord willing, get all cleaned up. Which means that yes, for now I can just sit on the porch with baby sleeping on my chest, my feet up and enjoying the wafts of lilac fragrance mingling with said seeds blowing. Beauty and the beast, methinks, glory and garbage co-mingled.

I did notice today my rose bush putting forth its own shoots, the very same that the wee babe I held in the palm of my hand was buried. The thorny thought poked at me, “I wonder what she would have looked like….”

I suppose it is rather easy to arrive at the conclusion that because I now hold my newest daughter in arms, it is payment enough for the sorrow of a baby lost. And yet, it is not. The weeping from the evening of sorrow does not dissipate when morning joy arrives, but rather gives way much as the stars lose their luster in the dawn. Just because they are not seen as night retreats does not mean they are not still there.

What have I learned? Not nearly enough I’m afraid as I still ponder and wonder and continually need to taste and see that the Lord is good. But one small thing…I have come to understand that there is a vast difference between disappointment, which comes naturally through trials and the allowance of God in order to refine me…and discouragement, which seems to dangle before me, taunting me to forsake faithfulness and positioning itself to accuse God of injustice or indifference. I have learned that discouragement is never God’s will, even in trial. Faithfulness is. Trust is. It is the difference between pining for the wee babe I have lost…or letting her go in gratitude for whatever God’s perfect purpose in it all was and is.

I do not take lightly the gift of this baby in arms, and yet I am still missing the one I have yet to see life expressed. Morning still blends into night which again fades into new light; it is how it will be until the Lord returns. So sorrow must mingle with joy and in every trial my choices are still the same: to trust or to doubt, to have peace or to be anxious, to be as a child or as a fool.

Tonight I snuggled with this unhappy and tired baby under my chin, her fingers wrapped around mine as she hiccuped her laments. I whispered to her, “patience, darling, shhhh…someday the darkness will be gone forever.” I reminded myself of this, too, and gave thanks for the rest I have upon Him, this peace surpassing understanding even to my own self.

Yes, the thorns poke, but I am learning to give thanks for the roses and for the sunshine when it does come. And I am learning to trust even in the dark that Light is inevitable.

For more thoughts on learning through trials, visit the other High Five Moms in the next few days. Tell them I sent you; I know their little spaces in Blogland are awaiting to bless and encourage you, too.

10 Ways To Be Hospitable Without Going Nuts

April 17, 2012 5 Comments

1. Remember that people are more important than things. Having plastic on the furniture or carpets that cannot be walked on without first dubbing fresh socks speaks loudly that the house is not to be used to relax in, but to admire. If your family members can put their bare feet up on the coffee table or just grab a glass (any glass) to get some drinking water with, it won’t be a big effort for your guests to do the same. Does your home welcome people or make them unsure of where they can and cannot sit?

2. Keep the house tidy as usual (whatever your state of “usual” is) but don’t wait for everything to be bleach-clean before opening your home to guests. Furthermore, if someone stops by when there’s still a pile of laundry to fold, welcome them anyway and either fold while you talk or put it off for a while. There’s no need to apologize; this is your home and yes, there is work to be done in it. You don’t necessarily need to stop your work when people come over; they can visit while you tend the everyday needs or toss the salad.

Pizza is an easy meal to prepare and serve. This is sourdough crust topped with sausage, spinach, mushrooms and cheese.

3. Do have food and drink on hand, especially for those surprise, last minute guests. There is always *something* you could offer. For ideas, be sure to listen to my podcast, Fast Food: How to Feed People on the Quick. I have a designated tea drawer that my friends know they can just come dig into when they come in. You could have something similar for kid-friendly snacks, or at the very least, a lemon or some mint in the fridge to add to a fresh pitcher of water. Also have on hand a decent first aid kit for those inevitable boo-boos. You don’t want to offer a toilet paper wrap when a bandaid would be better.

4. Have a bin of toys for toddlers in various places so that when you have a mommy over, she can keep a close eye on her babe easily. For example, I have a shelf of toys in the kitchen, and a couple in the living room. It’s also easy for me to pull out a small bin of magnets or whatnot for an older child to play with at the kitchen table. For more ideas on toy organization, listen to Toys and Their Organization. This really helps with (a) mommies who are new to your house and don’t want to lose their child into unfamiliar places, and (b) helping you to quietly encourage and keep children close to their moms when you feel they are a little too wily to be beyond mom’s reach.

Have a place where people can easily hang coats (and hats!).

5. Just because you have folks over doesn’t mean you can’t “help” them leave when the time is right. Sometimes my kids will be getting really tired and *done* with visitors, and I’ll politely excuse myself or our family by saying something like, “….well…I’m so glad you took time to come over!” Or, if the visitor isn’t getting the hint, something like, “Well, I’d love to visit with you longer, but I really need to let you go so I can (bathe the kids….get to bed at a reasonable time….prepare for supper…).”

6. Do consider giving your guest your attention. That doesn’t mean your work has to necessarily stop (see #2), but it does mean leaving the phone to the answering machine and especially NOT checking your Facebook updates, tweets and emails! If you must take a call that you’re expecting, be sure to let your caller know that you are currently with a guest and will call them back. Give the person who is in front of your face priority.

You could always use paper goods, but real dishware is a real nice touch.

7. It’s all right to say “no”. Being “hospitable” does not mean you need to have an open door policy to anyone who wants to drop in at any time they want to or need to drop in. That being said, being hospitable does mean being available for emergencies and having some flexibility. Some folks are just plain needy and will take up all of your time if you let them; others would never drop by unannounced unless it was urgent. Use some wisdom to know when to bend, and when to stand firm and graciously say, “I’m sorry, I cannot give time to that today.”

8. If you’re having someone over for the first time and there’s a meal involved, it is all right (and appropriate) to inquire regarding allergies and so forth. But that does not mean you need to overhaul your own cooking to meet the needs of picky people (who always need their non-fat, only organic, homemade salad dressing on the side…or won’t eat anything made with salt….or must have a cocktail with their meal…or who have children who will only eat hot dogs, etc.). It is one thing to bend your meals to accommodate, it is quite another to receive the menu you “must” create. Personally, I never make separate meals for picky children (note: picky, not allergic)…but if their parent wants to bring or provide them a peanut butter sandwich instead of having my lasagna, I’m not offended. It’s their deal and they’ll figure that mess out at some point (we hope!). In that same vein, don’t stress if your overnight guests demand amenities you can’t or don’t want to provide. You are not a hotel, and they can (a) appreciate what you do offer, or (b) graciously stay someplace else. It’s amazing what people will sometimes expect (or demand) from you to meet or gain their approval! Just do the best you can in meeting their needs in love, and let them simmer in their own sauce over areas that are over the line for you or your family.

What can you do to make your guests feel right at home?

9. Try to keep at least one bathroom tidy at all times with a clean sink, fresh hand towel and plenty of toilet paper. Get the hair up off the floor every day and the toothpaste gunk off the sink. That way when your unexpected (or expected!) guest needs to freshen up, it will be a pleasant experience. And on the days no guest is using the loo, you will be blessed in at least one bathroom! It’s nice to have the plunger nearby too, to save face if a child clogs the toilet; the parent can just quietly deal with it. And speaking of such, remember that children sometimes have accidents; don’t make an issue of it! Just sweetly provide clean-up materials and don’t stress over your carpet, hardwood floor, etc. Remember….people are more important than stuff, and that includes kids!

10. Bless your guests. If they are sad, give them some understanding and some cheer. If they are down, offer some encouragement. If they are happy about something, try to join them in their joy. You can pray with them, or at least for them, while they are there. If there are children involved, I try to never send them away hungry. Think about how YOU would be blessed in their shoes, and do likewise. Let them leave your home refreshed and blessed!

Hospitality isn’t about having the perfectly set up home ahead of time. Hospitality is about serving people with love, and being open (and home!) to welcome them in their needs. May your guests be blessed by your hospitality, and may you have peace in receiving them. Certainly you can’t please everyone, but you can have quietness and satisfaction in the Lord knowing you followed His lead in how you dealt with folks.

For more ideas on hospitality (without going nuts!), visit the other High Five Moms in the next few days. Tell them I sent you; I know their little spaces in Blogland are awaiting to bless and encourage you, too.

Teaching the True Meaning of Easter

March 20, 2012 Leave a Comment

Easter is just a few weeks away and amongst the new dresses and chocolates there seems to remains hidden even among professing Christians the wisdom and truth of the Gospel itself. If all we know is “Jesus died for my sins” and then all we have a little prayer that we parroted in response, then I’m afraid we are in grave danger of missing Jesus Himself. The teaching in Luke ought to be sobering and worthy of our time and reflection.

Luke 13:23-27 Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are.

Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity.

The “strait gate” seems so, well, straight. Narrow. Intolerant, if you will. But as you can see, it matters not when you, after death, meet Him whether you knew about Him, professed Him, did works in His name, went to church twice or even 114 times a year, were “a good person” or even at that point beg for His forgiveness. He will send you out from His presence, and because God’s Word is true, there is no shame in warning and trying to save people from the judgment that He promises will come.

Pass the chocolate eggs then, and let’s talk then about how to teach our kids, our precious children, the true meaning of Easter.

Hear the Gospel

You cannot teach your children what Easter is truly about if you, yourself, have never heard the true Gospel preached. I’m afraid many, many churches and pastors spend lots of time teaching about godly living, about loving your neighbor, about how to become more prosperous…but never share about repentance and faith. The word “sin” has dropped from the vocabulary and has been replaced with a self-righteousness that demands God’s acknowledgment that “well, we aren’t perfect, I try, He knows we’re only human…”

Examine yourself. Watch the video at the end of this blog post for a worthy time to set aside to do so. Otherwise, you may be sending your children into the same ditch of good works and pride, which will never open that narrow gate into heaven no matter how fervently or sincerely you believe otherwise.

Acknowledge the Gospel

If you have ever been or are in despair over your own sins, then congratulations. God has revealed to you in His mercy how wretched, how blasphemous, how unkind and unloving you really are. You cry out like the psalmist,

Help me, O LORD my God: O save me according to thy mercy…

because you acknowledge that not only are you a sinner, but it’s even worse than you believe. You know you are a liar, a thief. You are like the young tax collector in Luke 18:10-14, contrasted with the Pharisee who stood upon his own works and his own “truth”.

Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

The Gospel does offend us (because we are so pride filled!) To acknowledge the Gospel is to REPENT. And the Christian life is a life of REPENTANCE. And it is putting your trust in the finished work of Jesus Christ, who, dying on that cross at Easter time paid the fine for your sins so you may be free, indeed. It is loving your enemy and tithing and all else in gratitude for so great a salvation, not to try to bribe the Judge to overlook all the “minor” sins you’ve committed that “aren’t as bad as some people.” As I heard a pastor once say, you can’t have a real mercy, a real “Amazing Grace”, without a real wrath before it. Have you ever humbled yourself in light of your own sins, ever really repented?

If you cannot acknowledge the Gospel, your children will grow up under you in their own pride as well. And Easter will only be about pastel colors and spring and the cliches we see all over our world.

Profess the Gospel

Do you want to teach your children the true meaning of Easter? Well, then you must tell them! You must show them from God’s Word why Christmas and Easter were necessary, why the Old Testament pointed to Jesus Christ in every book, why even Creation and their very own consciences cry out that there is a good and holy and righteous God who is not only angry with the wicked every day (the unrepentant), but is rich in mercy towards the humble who repent and put their trust in Him.

Telling this to your children is not the job of the church, the Sunday school, the cute little cartoony kid’s story Bible, or even the pastor. It is YOUR job. Their response will be their response; they are individuals and will either come under their own convictions or not as God wills. But God forbid we “keep our religion to ourselves” as if we really didn’t believe the Truth at all.

Live the Gospel

Lastly, you must live the Gospel. You must apologize to your children when you’re wrong. You must quietly go about your own business and seek to honor God even under your own roof. Let them see you wrangle with Scripture, pray often, and in making decisions know you are at least trying to operate out of Biblical principles. Remind them of grace, and live that out or you will only create little moralists whose food is the pride of life. Speak of your love of God, how grateful you are that He saved a wretch like you, how you were blind but now you see. Let them see you humble yourself to treat your enemies with goodness and service, and let them know the law of kindness from your tongue. Let them know that yes, we war against the flesh and our sins still, but we are saved by God’s grace and can live in peace and quietness in the shadow of His wings.

Are you ready for Easter? Examine and prepare your own heart first with the true Gospel of salvation, and then you will be empowered to tell your children its true meaning. You’ll be better able to understand the deep love and wide mercy of God’s Redemption, and truly worship Him that sunrise morning His victory over the grave.

You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs in the next few days with their ideas on teaching the true meaning of Easter.

Blessings,

Families, Food, and Faith

February 21, 2012 2 Comments

Most moms want their families to eat well, because they recognize wholesome food creates the building blocks for good immune function, amongst other things. Too many times I think we ascribe the “common cold” (for example) as a matter of germs, when in fact, it could just be an overloaded little (or big) body trying to detoxify all of the crud created from poor food choices. Furthermore, eating is a cultural and social act as well, and we eat for the pleasure of fellowshipping with others, too. So “eating well” also means enjoying what someone else has lovingly served.

So how does a mom successfully teach their children to eat well? Or how does she encourage her husband to do so?

Mom, it starts with you!

Educate yourself about what real, healthy eating entails, especially if you grew up as a picky eater, or grew up on canned, processed foods. I would especially examine what you believe qualifies as “healthy” if you have had, or have, any dental problems at all. A good place to start would be to poke around the Weston A Price Foundation site.
Demonstrate your own willingness to try new foods and new methods of cooking. Make it an adventure! Come home with something new from the grocery store. Demonstrate humility in examining your beliefs and your habits. Ask questions. Learn.
Implement regular mealtimes. No matter how “organized” you are (or aren’t), you and your family do need to eat. Give yourself enough time to create a wholesome meal, and create an environment of reconnecting with one another without the distractions of TV screens or texts or telephones (etc). Again, eating isn’t just about food; it’s about relationships.

But, Mom, it’s not all about you!

Understand that every person is different, and beware the “just do x and y will occur.” What works for one mom in feeding her family healthy food might not work for you, and some folks are just more into maintaining control over everything than making any changes at all (think about your wee ones and teaching potty, or regular napping….). Better to work to win their hearts than to fight over broccoli. Better a supper of herbs and peace than a roast and irritations, right?
Train your children that what you’ve taken the time to cook and serve…is what is served. This is not about being a martyr (who is willing to cook four different meals to please four different kids). It’s not about your comfort level, of taking the easy road to just avoid confrontation. It’s not about YOU. It’s about having the courage to teach your child that eating or at least tasting what is served, regardless of what it is, is a matter of respect and gratitude for the cook. Teach this well and hopefully you won’t have grandchildren that demand chicken nuggets three meals a day.

What to do:

There are a lot of things you can do to try to win your family over to better eating, from changing your own habits, to changing things one at a time, to sneaking healthier foods into fare you already eat, to having them help prepare it, or decorating it in some interesting and pleasant way. But, honestly, if you don’t want to fall into the “I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked” trap, there is the one thing to do that should be first:

pray.

Your Father in heaven knows the best route to creating healthy eating habits in your family. He knows you and your children best and will give you the wisdom if you just ask it of Him. Don’t you think He wants your children to grow up healthy and strong? And for you and your husband to be healthier? And for you to be knowledgable and equipped to feed them those good, wholesome foods? What Bible verse refutes these things?

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

And don’t we all want pure, peaceable, and gentle answers (see James 3:17) to all of our challenges, answers that have real, lasting results? Answers that will draw our children’s hearts towards us, and more importantly, towards their God? I’m afraid if all we’ve gotten are irritations and food battles, then we’ve probably brought it upon ourselves in some way. If you’ve repented and put your faith in Jesus, then this is just one more area to live by faith: pray and ask for help!

May your homes (and mealtimes!) be full of goodness and peace.

You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs in the next few days with their ideas on feeding their families healthy foods.

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Happy (and healthy!) eating,

Quest: Letting God Lead

January 14, 2012 18 Comments

Not too long ago I set words to my ponderings and since then it seems I’ve done nothing else other than add more. The problem with contemplating so many possibilities for so much is that it builds on a foundation that presupposes a right answer or direction is possible–if only there was enough time to think, read, research, argue, plan and purpose. And I’m not sure that this is the way to go about deciding which horizon is the one I ought to set foot towards. Oy. Pondering about my ponderings….Pooh bear would be so proud.

And, naturally, how my life is lived affects others for better or worse (or, perhaps more pathetically, with no effect at all). Choosing a direction, whether it is a lifestyle or haircut or even an opinion, leaves me open to either praise (causing me to battle my pride) or flat out character assassination from either frenemy fire or the devil himself (causing me to battle my co-dependent tendencies).

So I suppose I could just do, say, create, be nothing (is that even possible?). Or I could pursue everything, being all things to all people or swimming in so many projects that none of them bare a righteous harvest. What is the balance? How to choose the good, and to know peace through them regardless of the success…or fallout?

I am learning. And I believe the question I (we all?) need to ask more is this:

Acts 9:6 …Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

I really feel for Ananias. There he was, just minding his own business, walking with the Lord the best he knew how, and God impressed upon him to do something that made him tremble. And the man didn’t sit and ponder in his thoughtful place for days (decades?). He simply obeyed. That, methinks, took a lot of faith and courage. AND an ear that was tuned to begin with.

Will the Lord not lead our homes, our families, our projects, our dreams (and ourselves)? Is His arm too short to direct, His Words too few to hear, His Holy Spirit unable to give us direction? No. But we either run ahead making our plans and setting our opinions and crafting new projects and buying new books, OR sit in a puddle of self-defeat not trying anything at all, and then either lament our failures or find security in our successes before we ever think of inquiring, “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” Just because something *prospers* doesn’t mean it’s blessed of God (read those proverbs). And just because something *fails* doesn’t mean it wasn’t something the Lord foresaw and planned to use for something better.

Maybe, like Ananias, His answer would make us tremble. Maybe He would take away something we love to do or are comfortable with. Maybe He would ask us to detach from someone or something or somedream we dearly loved. Maybe….maybe He would ask us to be His hands and feet, to go and make disciples…and to do that in a way we would never choose for ourselves or in a way we do not see the point of (or the results of). Maybe whatever it is would tick folks off and you’d have to get cozy with their eyeball rolling or false flattery or secret/open disdain. I dunno. But if God Himself is leading….does it really matter? Who do you want to serve, really?

To let God lead, we must allow Him to shape our appetites and what we want to pursue (see Hebrews 2:8), and not pass it through the lens of our flesh or our emotions that, hello, are so deceitful (“hmm….I think that sounds right…feels good…seems like a good idea…..is validated by those so-n-so’s….would grant me favor….give me peace from my enemies…aligns with what I already believe…”)

Are you pondering the tasks you’re about? The projects you’re pursuing? The books/websites/blogs you’re writing/reading/visiting/planning? The housework/marriagework/parentwork? The time you spend on what you’re spending it on? The people you love/hate/lovetohate/hatetolove and how to respond and relate to them?

Whatever you are pondering, let me encourage you to STOP and be quiet a moment (or three). And truly, ask the Lord (if He is your shepherd), “what wilt thou have me to do?” Make reading, studying, and meditating upon His Word a priority so that you can do what you were created to do: hear His voice, and follow.

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me…

You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs in the next few days with their ideas on letting the Lord lead, too. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Blessings,

Ideas for Handmade Gifts

December 7, 2011 2 Comments

When we were children, we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmastime. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
GK Chesterton

Tis the season for gift buying and wrapping and sending, which despite the crazy madness of overblown consumerism and materialism, still has a sweetness to it, because wanting to give a gift to someone is something lovely I think. God was the original gift-giver thinker-up! Full of mercy and grace and generosity and love with His good and perfect gifts, aren’t you glad He never changes?

Handmade gifts are my favorites, because I know the giver has put not only their money, but their time and effort into them as well. I treasure the heart they put into them, knowing that while they were planning and working and packaging, they were thinking of me and of all of the other loved ones they were seeking to bless.

Here is a list of handmade gifts that I have made in the past, and have found as possibilities to do one year or another. Many, many things can be made with the scraps you have already (extra fabric, extra craft supplies, scrap wood, etc.) I often find (more often than not) that it’s not a matter of *time and/or money*; it’s a matter of *desire*. Tutorials abound all over the web; google and find a treasure trove of tutorials! Yes, you CAN follow directions. It’s ok; we (the recipients) will love it!

And no, you can’t find out what I’m making this year (hee hee); it’s not even on the list (big smile).

wreaths made of fruit, greens, berries, flowers, whatever’s in your yard
flatware holders
mini-pies, creme brulee, tarts, muffins, bagels
bottle wraps (with a bottle of wine of course!)
embroidered monogrammed napkins or washclothes
spice blends, mustards, vinegars, anything for the kitchen cook
fresh doughnuts, pretzels, granola, cookies…
simple table runner, napkins
a scarf from a length of wool, trimmed in ribbon or blanket-stitched
bouquets with jars filled with seeds (for dry bouquets) or cranberries (for wet bouquets)
vanilla gift-wrapped in vintage bottles
roasted chestnuts
napkin rings, placecard holders
decorative candle blocks or other holders
the candles themselves!
soap, lotions, salves, creams, facial scrubs, salt scrub, etc.
mason jar sewing kits
pillowcases, herbal sachets
party drink tags (for wine stems)
roll-ups for colored pencils or art supplies
coffee, cocoa or tea blends
homemade marshmallows to go with that hot cocoa mix!
chocolate dipped and sprinkled oreos, pretzels, etc.
notebooks with pretty linen covers, quilted Bible covers
seeds saved from the garden, handpressed flowers onto bookmarks
tinctures, tonics, syrups
ornaments, holiday decor
aprons, oven mitts, dish towels
fresh bread and butter, jam
beaded bookmarks or jam spoons
pin cushions, needle cases
fridge magnets (I hot glued magnets onto buttons. Cute!)
a supply of handstamped notecards or homemade stationery
crocheted shawl or wrist warmers
things for the pantry: pears, applesauce, soup mixes, etc.
mini quilts for hanging or a table topper or a child’s doll blankie
ragdolls, handkerchief dolls
knitted washclothes, mittens, scarves, stuffed animals, hats
harvest baskets or a garden tool belt
handwoven baskets, even mini ones for holding small candies
pottery with glazing for growing kitchen window herbs
an small window herb garden transplanted into vintage pots (drill holes!)
candy: truffles, fudge, popcorn balls, baklava (my mom’s specialty!)
homemade cleaning supplies: laundry soap, cleansing powder, fabric softener, etc.
cutting boards, toy blocks, dolly beds
bean bags, library carry-all bags, hand-drawn coloring books
salad dressing with croutons (all homemade of course!)
rice socks to heat up, fleece blankets to cuddle under
hair ribbons, barrettes
baby mobiles, crib bumpers, receiving blankets
earrings, bracelets, coat pins
and of course, certificates! For a meal delivery, babysitting, fresh cookies, housecleaning, etc!

I want to be sure to share one of my most favorite hand-making idea links too! From SewMamaSew; be sure to check out the previous year tutorial links for ideas, too.

Don’t forget that the packaging and delivery is just as much an opportunity to show your love! Homemade wrapping, or extra ribbon, or even brown paper bags spruced up (now there’s something to google!) all add a delightful touch.

And a note for those for whom “homemade” gifts aren’t your thing: just graciously say “thank you” anyway. Because nothing made in China can ever be given to you with the same amount of heart and soul. And people’s hearts and souls…well, they’re the real gifts in any season.

You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs with their homemade gift ideas, too. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Blessings,

Keeping Peace in the Home During the Holiday Frenzy: An Interview with the High Five Moms

November 23, 2011 1 Comment

I had the opportunity to interview the other four mothers from our little High Five Moms group and it was SO fun to hear their voices. I asked them about how they maintained peace in their homes during the holiday frenzy, and I took lots of notes! It sure was nice to hear the same threads I usually adhere to also, such as staying home, focusing on relationships/togetherness, simplicity, less is more, etc.

I hope you will be blessed with our attempt to put five women (myself included!) on the same line. Grab something hot to drink and be challenged and encouraged.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

You can check out the other High Five Mom blogs, too. Tell them I sent you!

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Fostering Good Sibling Relationships

November 16, 2011 7 Comments

High Five Moms are talking about fostering good sibling relationships today. Here are two blog posts I wrote about that very topic, with some sweet photos too! Enjoy!

Where I disagree that children “need friends their own age”

and

How taking sides in disputes can be shallow and short-lived

You can read more thoughts on sibling relationships this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

I’m so thankful that my children have so many siblings!

On Gratefulness

November 9, 2011 2 Comments

One thing I’ve heard often is that Christians ought to be very grateful people. Of course, we should, but the problem is that sometimes our fake smile “gratefulness” is just a cover for being too scared or too holy to admit wretched pain. In fact, if anything in our lives go awry, there are usually two responses put forth as helps, usually from people who have not suffered the same bruises, but sometimes to ourselves as well:

1. Give thanks for it all (from 1 Thessalonians 5:18)

and

2. God will use it all for good (from Romans 8:28).

And there is it: case closed. But really? These things are not untrue, but sometimes those responses feel more like a pat on the head or fuel for the fire instead of a healing balm.

Did you have a child die? Well, give thanks for the time you had. Did you discover your husband visiting a strip club? Well, be thankful it wasn’t with a real woman. Did you go bankrupt and lose your home? Don’t worry; God will turn it around for good. Did you lose a leg? Chin up, you still have one more!

The message I’m afraid is much more than earnest Biblical support. It is akin to “buck up, smile, and get over it”. Why? Because any other response: compassion, listening, weeping….those seem unspiritual and therefore cowardly, not to mention time consuming and inconvenient. And if we have a healthy fear of the Lord, there is a part of us that preaches the same to ourselves as well.

But is it never proper to feel fear? Anger? Sadness? Do times of seeming “ungrateful” indeed make you unfaithful, fallen, a failure? If so, then lay my tombstone next to David, because I am as much a wretch, but not nearly as poetic. His emotions were never stuffed or patronized; he had enough FAITH to trust God to know his heart and hear his pain, even as he couldn’t gratefully say at the time “thank you” for all of the running around, death threats and betrayals. Can you image one of his friends slapping him on the back in the midst of his fearful trial and saying (if they had this then), “Buddy…dude…Romans 8:28…(slap slap)”.

Spending time talking it out, moving through fear, dealing with anger, and weeping in grief, does NOT mean you are “ungrateful”. It means there are wounds to be tended to, and just because they aren’t worse or may not be as deep as someone else’s in more dire circumstances doesn’t mean that the pain isn’t still there and just as real.

Are you in trial? Walk through it as tenderly as you can, knowing that the Lord does not forsake you even when you are throwing an inner tantrum or can’t stop from crying. Do you know someone in trial? Give them empathy, compassion, give them an ear, give them your time, prayers and attention.

The man outside the gate Beautiful had to be healed before he was able to get up in gratitude and walk and leap and praise God. And sometimes, that is true of us, too. Fear not, little sparrow, but rest in the Savior and trust Him to make you whole in His time.

You can read more thoughts on gratefulness this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Grateful for His mercy,

Keeping It Clean

November 2, 2011 Leave a Comment

One of the best quotes I ever read regarding housework was on a magnet at some highway trinket and gas station on some vacation from some yesteryear. It said, “My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.” I should’ve bought it and put it in my kitchen, but in any case, I’ve always remembered it.

I find I go through phases of keeping everything really clean, working in zones, decluttering daily, and so forth. And then….and then there are times that weeks go by before I find the countertops or clean out the fridge. Both situations drive me crazy; one because it seems there is no free time at all and if I’m not just barking chores, I’m just shooing everyone away to get it done myself…and the other because that much clutter makes my brain hurt and my kids get lazy about just picking up their pajamas off the floor. But most of the time, there is balance, and we’re able to welcome friends who just step over stuff during the day; and we can still have supper guests later who find not only clean spaces to put down their purses, but a clean sink and hand towel to use in the bathroom.

Here is my own balancing act:

I make my bed every day, because every time I walk into my bedroom it just feels nice to see it made, even if (“if” LOL) there is a disaster load of books and notebooks on my nightstand.
I keep up on the laundry. Mondays for clothing, Thursdays for bedding and towels, and diapers and kitchen linens are done as needed. I confess to being spoiled with TWO sets of washer/dryers, and I’ve trained my children how to use them to do their own clothes, bedding and towels (on their own schedules). In my opinion, life’s too short for mountains of laundry to do, but I realize for someone else, their life might be “too short to make the bed”.
I try to vacuum the floor every.single.night. Food crumbs, hay from boots, hair, and all that other *stuff* just multiplies during the wee hours of the night. Plus it feels gross to step on.
I try to clean up the dishes after every meal, and just about never leave a dirty sink until morning. I just find it depressing to welcome a beautiful brand new day and then have to face stucco from meals the day before.
Once a week, we run around with dusters, vacuum the carpets and clean the bathrooms. I might hand a small child a window cleaning cloth or send an older kid out to wash the garbage cans, depending on what’s needed.

That’s about it. When I have more of my act together, we do stuff like deeper cleaning, planning menus, mopping floors, and brushing the dogs. But my minimums listed are the ones that keep me *happy*, and sometimes a little dirt is the price I’m willing to pay for it.

Photobucket

You can read more thoughts on keeping it clean this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Health, and Happiness,

The Hassle of Reading

October 26, 2011 4 Comments

I find a vast difference between the distraction-laden computer screen/magazine/newspaper scanning we’ve become accustomed to versus the slow, contemplative reading that gives a person a chance to really hear what an author is attempting to present and engage the reader with. And it saddens me that literacy rates are in a sorry state, and just a quick (yes, skim) of the internet reveals the average adult in the U.S. is reading somewhere between the 5th and 9th grade reading levels. Maybe it isn’t so sad at all. Maybe it’s become one big shrug, and then it’s back to the short, choppy texts, updates and tweets we return to between doorbell announcements of another email in the inbox.

Maybe reading an entire book (or hey, even an entire blog post!), is just too much of a hassle. Maybe we’ve just trained our brains to take in so many pieces of minutia that even the idea of a comprehensive complete pontificating of a whole idea is not worth the effort anymore. Thinking has become passe’; we don’t even need to learn how to read maps anymore because GPS systems do the *thinking* for us.

I don’t know. It seems more and more obvious that we’re missing out on building real live relationships when we’re each tethered to our personal digital products to (ironically) “connect” with others, but what, if anything, goes missing if we stop reading? Does it really matter if we read from paper or from a screen? Does it really matter if newspapers have “dumbed down” over the centuries (have you seen or tried to read one of those from the 1800’s)?

Do the children in our homes see us tapping our fingers on keyboards and smartphones more than turning the pages of books? I’m just wondering. Does it really matter? Do we really care if our children learn to read and think deeply, or is it just cool that they grow up to be savvy enough send thousands of texts a month, preferring that to talking? After all, talking takes work. Like reading.

If you’ve read this far (not likely, given the odds!), chances are that these things do matter to you. If so, do whatever it takes to ponder these things (lock yourself in your bathroom for 15 minutes if you have to…without your cell phone….). And if distractions are the rule in your life, consider what it may be costing.

And maybe…maybe then pack up the family and go to the library for thick books to read. And turn off the gadgets for a couple of hours. And pop some popcorn. And read and then bond together by talking (not texting) about it all. And maybe…maybe even forgo the temptation to blog, update or tweet about the experience. Maybe….maybe reading will not be quite the hassle anymore, but the blessing we’ve been missing out on.

If you need or want a strong hand to help you in this, you could (shudder) try Freedom. It’s an application that locks you away from the internet on Mac or Windows computers for up to eight hours at a time. If you think that’s scary…..try another generational slide into deeper illiteracy.

You can read more thoughts on reading this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Pondering with you,

Bringing the Green Inside

October 19, 2011 3 Comments

I’ve taken advantage of the last few gorgeous sunny days here in the Pacific Northwest to put the garden to bed, pulling out the old and mulching heavily. Garlic and shallots are planted and that’s about all I’m going to do for overwintering crops this year.

I used to have many, many plants inside of my house, but truthfully there is enough work already for me to do inside and I’d rather be outside with God’s creation. Still, it is nice to have a bit of green here and there, and I’ll show you the extent of what I have. There isn’t a whole lot (by design!):

In my laundry/mud room I have a bonsai tree, and the same violets that I brought up from California with me 15 years ago. I don’t take very good care of either, letting them get bone dry regularly and then just sinking them both in pails of water to allow dry spots to bubble up for five minutes or so. Some folks may think I’m doing it all wrong, but hey…I still have purple flowers after 15 years.

Another plant I brought up with me all those years ago was a ficus tree a friend gave me when she moved to another state. We thought we had killed it in the hot transport but it came back. I thought I had killed it when I kept it outside for the winter but it came back. I’ve hacked it back, ignored watering it, had a cat pee in it, kept it in sunshine and in shade…and still it lives. It’s not my green thumb; it’s God’s little resurrection reminder.

In my kitchen I like to have fresh flowers all year long. It’s just one of those things that makes me happy. If nothing’s in my garden, I buy a few stems from the market. Next to my pretty flowers is the wall I tape up things I like, like poems, Bible verses, reminders, etc. I don’t stress about tape on my walls.

I mostly dislike dried plants in my house. They get dusty and fade and I don’t care to care for them. Lavender I like, however, and I can keep them for about two years. I cut them from my garden, and have little bundles in the bathroom and by my bedside.

And who says greenery needs to be green? I made this little candle holder from outside twigs, hotgluing them together and using some homemade (store-boughten) paper for the shade. It looks really pretty at night, a soft glow.

There are lots of ways to bring the outside in, but make sure you aren’t adding more work than you are willing to spend on the inside greeneries.

You can read more thoughts on bringing the green inside this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Hands-On Learning for Boys

October 12, 2011 1 Comment

I took a look at this topic for High Five Moms and ~~lamented~~ pondered how I was going to share much of anything. My first son has always been a mellow little guy, easy with paper-and-pencil. My second son is more of a cowboy, but he is only five. And he also can handle a pencil just fine. What I’m trying to say is that I’m no expert here! So today I’m offering to you a guest post from my friend Amy of Buffaloes and Butterfly Wings. Her blog is always filled with the fun and interesting things she does with her boys (and currently….cutie pie pics of her new baby girl!). I know you will get great encouragement from her here, and I encourage you to check out her blog, too.

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I began my homeschool career roughly five years ago when the oldest of my three boys reached preschool age. Almost immediately I found myself on a rollercoaster as I not only learned to homeschool, but to homeschool a B.O.Y.; I found out very quickly that hands-on activities were not only helpful, but essential for him. My lessons continue daily as I discover the challenges and joys involved in teaching boys.

The best lesson I have learned as far as hands-on learning and my boys has been teaching myself to be ok with less. Less sit down time. Less writing. Less pencil and paper work all together. When it comes to many boys and academics, less is truly more. When you spend less time frustrating your boy and yourself with traditional bookwork, you open up your time and his interests to a number of other learning possibilities.

This holds true for even the youngest of learners. As tempting as it can be to start ‘real school’ with a preschooler or kindergartner, it is often unnecessary or even counter-productive to do too much too soon with boys. Read books. Play with play dough. Do those fun art and craft activities you see on blogs. Play games. Little boys will sail into school work willingly and easier when you wait for them to be ready. (A few of the things we have done for preschool.)

For an older boy, it has helped me tremendously to greatly limit the amount of pencil and paper work we do each day. Choosing carefully and wisely only the minimum that is necessary allows me to require his very best without wearing him out on busy work that only serves to frustrate us both. His efforts are generally more productive and the finished product more consistently shows his best when I require less volume. Quality is truly better than quantity when it comes to boys and handwritten school work.

However, just because we are doing fewer worksheets and workbooks, doesn’t mean we are doing less learning. The possibilities for hands-on learning are endless, and I am a firm believer it doesn’t matter so much what you do, but that you do. That said, here are some of the things that we do:

Handwriting can be frustrating for many boys. We have found notebooking to be useful to help increase interest and give purpose to handwriting. Boys often are not interested in things they don’t see having a purpose. With notebooking, each page is part of a larger whole. My oldest has long enjoyed looking back over the pictures he has drawn and reading his narration (that he dictates to me and then copies onto his page) that goes with it. Many days, this narration / copy-work / notebooking combo is the only handwriting my young 3rd grader does in a day. Less is more. (How we do notebooking.)

I am blessed in that my very active and workbook, pencil and paper resistant oldest son is a voracious reader. I have learned to resist the urge to ‘supplement’ his reading with book reports and worksheets and the like. I let the reading stand alone. He enjoys it, he is learning from it, and that is good enough.Again, less is more.

For times when more writing is needed, it is good to consider a pen-pal, teaching your boy typing, and using a chalkboard or marker board.

Sometimes leaving formal academics behind and diving into real life is beneficial. Cooking, cleaning, gardening, helping with siblings, and helping Dad are all engaging activities that teach. Count these things as learning, because truly, your boy is learning when he practices these things!

Finally, don’t wait for hands on projects to be elaborate or craft-blog perfect. Just do it. The Internet is teeming with ideas for hands on activities for all subjects and disciplines. Adapt them to work for your family, and don’t worry about them turning out just right. The experience and variety alone will captivate your boy. Some of our favorites that may not earn a place in a homeschool magazine, but have made a lasting impression are:
Solar System Model
Native American Dwellings
Homemade balance scale
Wind-vane
Ocean Unit
Shopping Game (Money)
Preschool Alphabet Book

And, just for good measure, some hands on math ideas.

Again, what you do doesn’t have to be spectacular and elaborate. It is the doing itself that makes memories and expands your boy’s love of learning!

Amy, from Buffaloes and Butterfly Wings

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You can read more thoughts on hands-on learning for boys this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Harvest

September 21, 2011 Leave a Comment

Where there is no sowing, there is no harvest worth the labor. Without sowing, void spaces welcome weed seeds and trouble, and opportunity for evil abounds. In a happy home, what ought to be sown are fruits of the spirit, in the spirit. Sometimes it is difficult to do, to find even one more ounce of patience, or one more tender word, or to give one more act of forbearance. This is when faith is most real, when hope is truly all the motivation in the world. Whatever the trial today, do try to plant something good so that in the later years, your harvest will be precious.

Psalms 126:6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

You can read more thoughts on the harvest this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Ponder The Path

Happy Andersons

The Marathon Mom

A Delightful Home

Blessings,

Healthy, Quick, Easy Schoolday Lunches

September 14, 2011 Leave a Comment

Update: Today (Wednesday), we had leftover cabbage slaw (made w/cilantro and homemade mayo), tossed with leftover chicken (our own!) and mozzarella cheese, topped with crunched saltine crackers and onion bits. It was delish!

It is really difficult for me to craft a new lunch every day because, face it, lunch is in the middle of homeschooling, chores, telephone calls and toddler hijinks. But, we do need to eat! Here are some ideas of what we like to have for our midweek lunches:

“Snacky lunch”…finger foods such as rolled sandwich meat and cheese sticks, vegetable and fruit slices, glasses of milk. Basically, what’s in the fridge that we can just pull out and serve?
Leftovers…from the last night! I freshen it up a bit with fresh fruit.
Soups…this is an easy thing to start in the morning and let it simmer all that time until it’s ready for lunch. And on a cool day, it sure smells up the house nicely!
Chicken or tuna or egg salads with a single slice of bread or with crackers. This is something easy to double so that it’s ready for at least a couple of days. We like it topped with cheese and put under the broiler for a few minutes.
Quesadillas with tortillas, cheese, and chopped vegetables (such as celery, carrots, onions, and something green on hand–like kale or broccoli pieces).

What you won’t find too often here is full sandwiches with two slices of bread. Sometimes we’ll have almond butter and honey sandwiches but it’s considered a “treat”. Mostly I try to sneak in as many vegetables as I can into everything I make, and serve up plenty of protein and good brain-growing fats. Lunch is usually when I serve up the cod liver oil, too. For drink, we usually have either water, raw goat or cow milk, or kombucha. Juice is hardly ever served around here because it is so concentrated in sugar.

You can read more ideas on healthy, quick and easy schoolday lunches this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Blessings,

Six Ways to NOT be Overwhelmed

September 7, 2011 3 Comments

End of summer. End of mountains of sandy/dirty laundry, long road trips, relatives a’visiting. Time to relax, right? Righhhhhht….

Does this look anything like your autumn list?

Begin in earnest a new homeschooling year with new books, new curriculum, new pencils and new hopes for a fresh and fulfilling knock-it-out year of academic wowzaminess.
Preserve and can a garden full of harvest or at least those few 20 pound boxes of various fruit that was too good to pass up via the local organic food drop
Plan and prepare homemade Christmas gifts and supplies for a list of people that hasn’t even been created yet and oh yea don’t forget to plan the holiday photo in time for all of the card addressing and sending off
Speaking of gardens (were we?), weed and put the gardens to bed for the winter and make sure any livestock is set for feed and breeding needs
And oh yeah, livestock. It’s butchering time and time to fill the freezer.
Begin preparations for fall cleaning for the upcoming holiday season and, once again, the relatives to come a’visiting.

Allow me to offer you (and the above-list owner)

Six Ways to NOT be Overwhelmed:

1. Study to be quiet
Protect (or carve out) that solitude time in the morning or whenever it is best for you. Study the Word, take a 20 minute walk, take a daily tea…and let the world pass on by with its (inter)net. Make time to just sit on the porch and make pictures out of stars. In other words, chill out, woman. The world won’t end if you don’t have your 54 pints of applesauce in the pantry by Thanksgiving.

2. Work with your hands
Just do the next thing. If the next “thing” is completely unclear, break down the larger goals into parts. For example, if you’re going to make homemade gifts, break it down into step like you’re talking to your five-year-old self. #1 Pick an idea. #2 Make a list of recipients. #3 Make a list of supplies….etc. Then schedule out when each step can be done onto a calendar. Focus on the next step, not on the whole finished product. Pat yourself on the back for accomplishing the step! You’d do the same for your own child, wouldn’t you?

3. Build houses
Seek ye first the kingdom of God. If the foundation is rotting, the house will fall. Keep first things first: God, Bible reading and study, character building. Don’t ignore discipline issues for lack of time or the warning signals that maybe that group of “friends”or that outside activity for your child isn’t really wise. Don’t presume upon tomorrow. Better to let the weeds outside grow than to allow sin to take root on the inside. Remember to keep the main thing, the main thing.

4. Dwell in them
Be present. If your to-do lists are too large to include your children’s “helps” or a quiet evening with your husband doing nothing but watching a movie, then your lists are too large. Remember that you are also a member of the family. Use your sofa and knit. Swing on the kiddy swing. Dring tea out of one of those hanging tea cups. Use your tub for a good soak. Don’t be the blur rushing always by the child waiting for laptime with a book hanging from his hands.

5. Plant gardens
There is a time and season for all that truly needs to be done, but sometimes what is needful is dwarfed by what is desired. Use a schedule, plan your time wisely. Don’t over commit–and learn to say “no” without guilt! Making a schedule or even a loose routine will be a good check for a realistic 24 hour day. No, you can’t be in three places at once. And yes, you do need to sleep!

6. Eat the fruit of them
Eat what you have today; don’t worry about the ‘morrow. Find gratefulness and blessing in each day, even more than the lacks or failures that seem burdensome. His mercies are new every morning; exhale thanks before your feet hit the floor and remember that although Jesus really had a short time to do the work of the Father, He was never in a hurry. Trust God to give you the time to do what He has called you to do, today.

You can read more thoughts on not being overwhelmed this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Blessings for a peaceful autumn in your home,

On Walking on Sidewalks With Friends

August 30, 2011 2 Comments

I walked along the sidewalk with my best friend Kelli, her short wavy strawberry hair and short plump stature contrasting with my straight dark brown hair and skinny tall nine year old self.

“Stoppit….stoppit….”
“What?” I answered.
“When you walk, you walk crooked and you’re pushing me off the sidewalk!”

And that’s how it’s always been for me: finding one or two close friends at a time amongst the pleasantries of dozens of acquaintances, and walking close enough to them to lean into them when I’m talking and walking through life.

Interesting, this:
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

I wonder about the sharp countenance, and do I really need a friend to salt the look of the lines on my face? Besides, if iron strikes iron, doesn’t that make things hot and fiery? Maybe those fiery ones aren’t friends at all; they cause sparks, they leave bitter fruit, dry as gravel. They’re the ones that doubt your intentions, phshaw your efforts, and smile with their lips but not with their eyes. You never feel quite encouraged in their presence. Maybe you even feel defensive.

A good friend, though, is one that sharpens your resolve, your dreams, your faith. They use their sparks to push you to a greater more lively you. They whisper like the grass angels, cheering you on, “grow, grow” *, and they know when to apply the fertilizer of truth and rebuke with compassion and care. They hear your dreams and will find at least one good thing to say and leave you with. Much like the motorcyclists that greet one another while zipping by in opposite directions, they’re the ones that will still give you a high five as you travel your own highways, even if your bumper stickers differ. Even if you sometimes knock them off the sidewalk. It’s the kind of friend I long to be.

With that in mind, let me introduce you to four other ladies who desire to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ and want to encourage you, too. Consider them new friends of this blog. As you visit them you’ll notice we have similarities and differences….but we all endeavor to cheer our sisters on in the race worth running. I am humbled to be part of this group. Every week we’re going to share our take on a topic, and we hope it will be a welcome cheer for the race you’re running.

I for one am already blessed, for my walk on the sidewalks of life continue to alternate between focused determination and daydreamy side-stepping off the curbs. My friends know it. And they still walk with me by my side knowing the risks. I am blessed.

* “Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, ‘Grow, grow.” The Talmud

You can read more thoughts on Proverbs 27:17 this week at other High Five Mom posts. Tell them I sent you!

Blessings,