Living in close quarters
Six months in, and I’m beginning to sense that my “winter sabbath” is going to need to be much longer. I’m trying to rest and regain my bearings, but it has been hard. Here are my most difficult challenges thus far. Feel free to skip the downers if you’d like!
DOWNER: It’s a bit lonesome. It’s not that I’m seeing any of my friends less, but because we moved a good 45 minutes away it takes more effort to “just” meet anyone for coffee. Or even to go *get* a coffee. I’m missing the last-minute get-togethers and the on-the-fly multi-family pizza suppers. I’m not currently running a book club and no one else is either. It feels like I’ve left the party and no one remembers me.
UPSIDE: My house is full of people! We’re connecting with one another more with board games and have been doing an evening family Bible time since September. I’m missing my friends but growing closer to my family. And my snail mail writing has picked up, connecting with friends who’d rather send a letter than communicate online.
DOWNER: It’s cold. Gone is the thermostat to maintain whatever comfortable temperature I want at all hours. The floors are cold. The walls are cold. The windows are cold.
UPSIDE: We’ve learned to use a woodstove and once it’s going, it feels wonderful in here. I’m not sure if it’s the wood-heat, but it feels so much nicer than electric. We’ll be looking into a better woodstove so that we can bank the fire (new terminology!) and make it easy to restart. Once the siding gets replaced on the north wall, that will help the cold walls, and the floors simply need rugs. Slippers help too! Windows are on the “to be replaced” list.
DOWNER: It’s dirty. There is dirt on the floor all.the.time. I can’t even figure out why…it is more people in less space? Is it blowing through the non-insulated (but looking-very-pretty) walls? It is a constant battle to keep it swept. Constant.
UPSIDE: We can sweep! It is a great blessing not to have carpets. Rugs we can shake out. Floors we can sweep. And when the floor is swept, I *know* it’s clean. Carpets, not so much…lots of dirt can bury into those fibers. I’m not sure I’ll be replacing my dying vacuum cleaner. And, with so many people here, we all work together to keep our house clean. Many hands, light work.
DOWNER: My kitchen is too small. As in, way. I appreciate the blogs and photos of people cooking and even writing cookbooks from their galley kitchens, but I now have ten people and only a teeny bit of counterspace. It’s a challenge to find places to sourdough or otherwise ferment anything. Plus our range doesn’t work well, and the fridge has its own issues as well.
UPSIDE: I can make this room bigger. I can move things around, build new countertops and replace appliances as the budget allows. It’s just going to take some time and a bit of out-of-the-box thinking. I’ve hired a kitchen designer, and though that’s not cheap when you have to add travel costs to the boonies, I figured it was cheaper than making expensive mistakes when it comes to remodeling. Although…she hasn’t contacted me for a month, so maybe she doesn’t want to make the drive. Maybe it will be just me making tons of mistakes. And blogging about it…because bad stuff happening makes for good storytelling, right? Meanwhile, I’m using stools and chairs for additional counterspaces, and we’re just making it work. We’re eating 🙂
So, yes, our new downsized home is very pretty and has a lot of potential. But it’s living in the messy middle of what is and what it could be that can be a downer. It’s good to remember the upsides.
Heather says
We have 9 children, 7 still at home. We live in 1350 sf. but we have lived here for 14 years. I think, with the exception of closing in a patio to add 300 sf. I don’t think i would like a bigger house. Like yours our house has a wood burning stove that I absolutely love. Ours has a firebox with a blower (it came with the house, if anything happened to it I would get another one as soon as I could). I just found your blog and have enjoyed going back and reading your story. We have many of the same issues you are having as well. Also with a small house and a lot of people and all their stuff, if one thing is out of place, the whole area looks like a mess to me, so I just decided to keep clutter down as much as possible then….surrender and embrace! It has been a challenge but I can see progress. There are a lot of things in our house that need work and a lot that I have to “surrender and embrace” because usually we do not have the extra funds to fix it right away. I like reading about people that have large families and have chosen smaller homes…it gives me a “grab the bull by the horns” kind of motivation and helps me want to make my space work better for my family. Anyway, thanks for blogging about your process, I especially enjoy the ones with pic of your cute little home.
kerimae says
Love this! “Surrender and embrace”…I’m going to be chewing on that for a while I think. It’s good to hear from other large families sharing a small home too; it feels a lot less lonely knowing you all are doing the same out there 🙂 Thank you for your encouragement!
Joyce says
Hi Keri Mae. Reading your blog reminded me of growing up. We lived in a two bedroom bungalow with only 850 sq. ft. although we did have a basement. I am the oldest of 12 children. My mother is very thrifty and we just made do a lot. I remember those years fondly. We had no idea how poor we were until we were grown up and away from home. My mom and dad taught us a lot about faith and character just by example. Most of us have turned out to be good Christians. Several of us are Sunday School teachers, two of my brothers are pastors, I have a sister who manages the admissions for more than four hospitals and a brother who is a microbiologist for a VA hospital. My mom also felt isolation, but she made her children her best friends and is still rewarded richly for that. Thank you for your blog. It has helped me to do with what I have and work on those things my heart longs to do as I have time. Thank you for being an encouragement. 🙂
kerimae says
What a sweet blessing your comment was to me! Thank you SO much.
Erika Shupe says
Hello to you! =D I’m loving checking out your blog! *hugs* Blessings on your week this week – I SO enjoyed meeting you. Are you not on Facebook? I found Tom, but not you… =)
kerimae says
Likewise meeting you! T’was good to get reinspired to continue the declutter and downsize. Chat soon 🙂 And, no, no FB for me right now…maybe someday…
Erika Shupe says
=)!