Perhaps, you too, have found yourself sitting on the living room carpet, piles of laundry and toys scattered about, toddlers in various stages of dress and feed while Baby Signing Time loops on the screen and baby is cooing (or squawking) away down the hallway waking from her nap. It’s dumping rain, maybe you’ve got the cramps or the sniffles, and hubby just texted over the podcast you’re listening to that he’s going to be home late. Again. Which is a good thing, because you’ve haven’t even begun to think about what’s for supper.
At this moment, are you feeling the joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart?
You might be thinking how far from your expectations your life has really strayed. And what were those expectations? I can’t say what those may have been, or are currently, but does this come close: a beautifully appointed, kept and well run home with happy obedient Jesus-loving children eager to learn Latin (and finger knit!) at your feet while they grow robust in health and vitality, under the headship of a father who provides not only money from his good, hard work, but also emotional, spiritual, and coaching support…so we can be all that we can be, beautifully styled and following our passions and dreams to Make Our Mark in the world with power and purpose for the cause (we say) of Christ.
Yes?
The trouble is not necessarily in those particular individual desires, per se. The trouble comes when we find ourselves disillusioned on that living room floor because those desires have become expectations, what we “deserve”. And then those expectations, prodded and fertilized by sin, grow to become wants and demands. And then, those wants become needs (uh oh), which lead to disappointments, which lead to resentment and anger and too much comparisons on social media (raise your hand here) and before you (and I) know it, we are glassy eyed staring through the kids and out rain streaked windows wondering what’s happened, what’s wrong with us, we must have made a terrible mistake, why we can’t seem to fix it…whatever the “it” happens to be at the moment, which we can never seem to pinpoint, really.
The reality is that we are a selfish and sinful people, and our hearts, the world, and the devil are constantly leading us astray (this is true even for the Beautiful People we admire). Without this acknowledgement, a real joy is simply not possible, as we will constantly be trying to make amends with our condemning consciences through sinful means, simply heaping more distress unto our souls. We must admit our own weaknesses and error and make no excuse for them, humbling ourselves to a Holy and just God. This isn’t about becoming power-less; it’s about recognizing where real power is. And real is real, not subject to what we say or think real is.
When we are not so interested in glorifying God (or in bowing the knee) as we are in meeting our own wants, we too easily slide from sadness or disappointment (not necessarily sins) into grumbling and complaining (which are definitely sins). Add to that the guilt from how we are presenting Christ by our lowly attitudes, and depression—even despair— is definitely knocking at the door. We must desire to glorify God more than keep a perfectly clean house. We must desire to glorify God more than to have–or be–a perfect spouse. We must desire to glorify God more than to have the new car, a million followers, or all of the me-time we crave.
I know we don’t always want those things: the humility, the servant-heart, the road of suffering. But there is hope.
First of all, let us come to grips with reality. The reality is that we HAVE failed. Not only have we failed, we are failING. Daily. So the next time you want to beat yourself up for being a failure, agree with the Bible (and the devil and the flesh and the world) that, yep, we are and we do. But don’t stop there! Complete the thought as you have it! Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. I do fail but while I was yet failing, God loved me and died for me. He didn’t wait for me to not be in a state of failing. He knew I failed, He knows I am failing, He knows I will fail. And He still took my failings, my sins, upon Himself and gathered me to Himself and calls me not only His child, but His friend. When He sees me, He sees Jesus in me, not the list of failures. And I am no longer condemned in His sight, the only sight (the audience of One) that matters.
2 Corinthians 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. I am not perfect and I struggle with not doing what I need to do and doing what I’m not supposed to be doing. But I am God’s handiwork, and it is His Holy Spirt renewing me day by day. It is not my own doing; it is His, by His grace. He takes everything I do, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and turns it all into means of growing me in holiness and strengthening me in every fruit of the Spirit. Nothing is wasted, and I cannot personally hinder or derail this holy work of His. Neither can tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, or sword separate me from His love.
Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ… What God has started, He will not only continue the work in, but He will complete it. I can rest in His sovereignty and in His sufficiency to provide for me everything I need to grow into the likeness of Jesus Christ, not just the blessings in my life, but the trials and challenges as well. He knows my frame, that I am but dust, and He knows my heart, both good and bad. He knows the dreams I dream; after all, He is the One who formed me in the womb! So I have confidence and peace in His good work in me, so I can then focus on the good work He’s prepared for me to do right now, in service to my King. Like praise His name, get the baby up, brush my hair, and go cook a wholesome and nutritious meal for my family.
More to come…
Blessings,
Yes, well said. We serve our King by folding laundry, cooking meals, loving and ministering to our family…It doesn’t get the attention of the world, or even the church, but I believe God is pleased because we are ministering to the least of these and being faithful in that which is least, and doing all to the glory of God! Thank you for this encouragement.
Thank you, LaRae, for your encouragement as well.
So true. So often we mask depressive and self-pity thoughts as attacks and things that happen to us… rather than sin that happens in us. Thank you for pointing to the gospel! It’s only in confessing my sins of discontentment and self-focus that I can be free in the grace and forgiveness of Christ. Another read right on point Keri Mae xxx